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How do you deal with woke family members or friends?

AmuroChan

Member
Hey GAF. So at a recent family gathering I met my cousin's new fiancé. She seems nice and friendly at first glace. However, once dinner started and everyone was engaging in conversations, it quickly became obvious that she was super woke. Now, my family is generally pretty moderate and have no issues with liberals or conservatives, but she is basically a far-left, socialism is good, we need a revolution liberal. The rest of dinner turned into an awkward cringe-fest as she lectured us on how Trump is destroying public education and putting immigrant kids in cages.

So fellow Gaffers, how do you deal with people like that in your own circles? I'm close with my cousin so I don't want to just disassociate from them, but I'm also not sure how to even have a normal conversation with his fiancé without it derailing into some social justice lecture.
 

JORMBO

Darkness no more
My brother-in-law is like that. Anytime he starts talking like that I just don't respond and change the conversation topic. After a few times I think it clicked with him I didn't want to engage in these types of topics with him and he hasn't brought them up since.
 

-Arcadia-

Banned
Long-time friend. I don't shut him out or anything, but he knows the disappointment I have in him, when he does things like express glee at the Trump corona news.

I have a few minor others, but mostly, I'm really fortunate that the people in my life are... well, normal.

I think past a certain point, people become family (or in your case, already are). Even if they turn down an awful path, abandoning family is not something I do. Perhaps that's a mistake, or perhaps family has a better chance of changing people for the better, through more loving methods.
 

DrJohnGalt

Banned
I know it's maybe not the best way to handle it, but I distance myself or cut these people out entirely. I'm done trying to explain my position to people that don't want to listen and people that make their decisions based on emotions and good intentions over logic and the real world. I used to try to gently persuade these people, and not so much convince them they're wrong but instead simply try to get them to look at an issue or situation another way and maybe get them to question their own positions and conclusions. But most are so brainwashed, closed-minded, and intolerant they believe that anyone that doesn't agree with their worldview is evil.

I've cut most of these people out of my life. I don't have time for the headaches or the ignorance and the bullshit. That includes longtime friends and family. Not so much out of anger or hatred or because we don't agree, but more out of disappointment and for my own mental well-being. It's usually nothing personal. I'm cool with people "on the other side" that can make a logical argument for their position and don't take our disagreements personally, but it seems like so many wokesters can't do that.
 
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Prison Mike

Banned
6qWZsFD.gif
 

-Arcadia-

Banned
I know it's maybe not the best way to handle it, but I distance myself or cut these people out entirely. I'm done trying to explain my position to people that don't want to listen and people that make their decisions based on emotions and good intentions over logic and the real world. I used to try to gently persuade these people, and not so much convince them they're wrong but instead simply try to get them to look at an issue or situation another way and maybe get them to question their own positions and conclusions. But most are so brainwashed, closed-minded, and intolerant they believe that anyone that doesn't agree with their worldview is evil.

I've cut most of these people out of my life. I don't have time for the headaches or the ignorance and the bullshit. That includes longtime friends and family. Not so much out of anger or hatred or because we don't agree, but more out of disappointment and for my own mental well-being. It's usually nothing personal. I'm cool with people "on the other side" that can make a logical argument for their position and don't take our disagreements personally, but it seems like so many wokesters can't do that.

I think we're all just trying to figure out the best way to handle it. There may not be a wrong way; just going with what you feel is best.

Strange times. It's what I imagine it must have been like during several communist uprisings, or at the beginning of the Nazi rise to power. It's kind of incredulous, like how can people believe and be okay with these things? Especially people I've known forever?

If you'd told me a decade ago, I would have told you that this kind of mass brainwashing was an artifact of the past. I clearly misunderstood a fundamental defect in humanity, that I think has a lot to do with tribalism and being subservient to popular trends.
 

TheTurboFD

Member
I think you're confusing woke for educated. Is it that your family is a bunch of close minded racists afraid from any independent thought that isn't their own?

If your family is all republican and somebody starts spouting Democratic views, that's not being woke that's having differing opinions.

If you're on any side that defends Trump, there's a large part of you that has to be pretty fucking stupid, and I guess that opinion would extend to your lovely family.

Found the fiancé
 

Ememee

Member
You know the stereotype of the Boomer Conservative Dad and the Rebellious Liberal Son? My father and I are the opposite: He watches CNN on the daily and has mad TDS. Ironically..he reminds me and others of a Hispanic Trump. Same type of personality, not exactly the brightest, very sociable, not empathetic, hard working, no filter. I find it..appropriate.

Anyway, we argue and disagree a lot but I’ve got to hand it to him and myself, we always kind of “quarantine” those talks. And right after? It’s good as usual. I appreciate it.

As for friends and people I know? Oh boy. I’m a SoCal boy that’s been around acting and actors since around 5..It’s pretty much impossible to engage.

A little over ten years ago, a friend of mine (within acting, little over 10 years older) admitted to me he was conservative. Me being a hardcore liberal at the time, was surprised, but inquired as to why. I’ve always liked discussion and disagreements since I was a kid. And he flat out told me “I don’t talk about it. There’s no point.”. These days, when culturally I tend to sway from right to left, we kind of laugh about it. But still agree, you can’t really talk about it.

So if I were to summarize, I’d say treat those people as you perceive them, without taking into consideration their “wokeness” to the best of your abilities. If you like them besides their politics, keep trying to. And leave the political shit at the door. Maybe one day, you’ll be able to talk to them about it without jeopardizing your relationship.
 

Woo-Fu

Banned
I ignore them just like I do much smaller species of gnats. Woke people need feedback and validation for their wokeness. If you don't give it to them they stop spouting it at you. No point in virtue signaling at somebody who is jamming your transmission.
 
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I give them a lot of patience and kindness, while not budging an inch on my beliefs or behaviors unless they can rationalize why.

I find that most of them keep the emotionally-driven dogma to themselves after awhile, or jettison themselves out of my life, or start coming around to the things I say.
 

DeafTourette

Perpetually Offended
I think you're confusing woke for educated. Is it that your family is a bunch of close minded racists afraid from any independent thought that isn't their own?

If your family is all republican and somebody starts spouting Democratic views, that's not being woke that's having differing opinions.

If you're on any side that defends Trump, there's a large part of you that has to be pretty fucking stupid, and I guess that opinion would extend to your lovely family.

That's pretty rude. And uncalled for!
 

Kayoba

Member
You tell me, a family member is a woke former politician and constantly brings up politics whenever we meet.

I tend to avoid the subject, because I know I won't be able to change their mind. I also refuse to back down from my political viewpoint, so I wish this relative of mine could get the hint and not bring up politics every time we meet.
 

DESTROYA

Member
I think you're confusing woke for educated. Is it that your family is a bunch of close minded racists afraid from any independent thought that isn't their own?

If your family is all republican and somebody starts spouting Democratic views, that's not being woke that's having differing opinions.

If you're on any side that defends Trump, there's a large part of you that has to be pretty fucking stupid, and I guess that opinion would extend to your lovely family.
Oh fuck off with that kind of attitude. So now people that have different values and opinions are uneducated racist ?
See thats one of the problems with a Democrats points of view everything besides there hive mind mentality is wrong , racist , uneducated or garbage.
 

Athena~

Banned
Trump is destroying public education and putting immigrant kids in cages.
that’s not all and you know that right? Listen to her gratefully and your cousin is a lucky guy.

The Trump Administration is basically trying to do as much damage as they can do now before they leave in a month. They all need to be quarantined but yet they are still running around spreading their diseases.

Good thing Trump is losing like 15 points in the polls so it shows that your cousin’s fiancé is in the majority. 29 days are not too long we can still make it and start the healing process then.

Hopefully you can wake up too soon.
 

DESTROYA

Member
that’s not all and you know that right? Listen to her gratefully and your cousin is a lucky guy.

The Trump Administration is basically trying to do as much damage as they can do now before they leave in a month. They all need to be quarantined but yet they are still running around spreading their diseases.

Good thing Trump is losing like 15 points in the polls so it shows that your cousin’s fiancé is in the majority. 29 days are not too long we can still make it and start the healing process then.

Hopefully you can wake up too soon.
Where were you when Obama and his regime started this trend and deported more illegal immigrants than Trump.
Education system is in shambles because of woke teachers that don’t teach anymore but preach .
 
That's my sister in a nutshell. She goes on the same rants like she's the living embodiment of twitter. Sometimes I think she is a walking, talking retweeter.

I usually try to change the subject or just walk away from the conversation.
 

Athena~

Banned
Elaborate.
Remember the judge appointing event? No mask no social distancing no safety procedure. Just wanted to rush it. Same thing as the debate. They didn’t get tested before the debate because Trump arrived too late. Should have canceled the debate not rushing it

they just don’t care and want to be in the spotlight before they leave the White House.
 

DESTROYA

Member
Remember the judge appointing event? No mask no social distancing no safety procedure. Just wanted to rush it. Same thing as the debate. They didn’t get tested before the debate because Trump arrived too late. Should have canceled the debate not rushing it

they just don’t care and want to be in the spotlight before they leave the White House.
You do realize he was in the spotlight for decades before running for office right ?
Why did you ignore my Obama talking point ?
 

Kenpachii

Member
Hey GAF. So at a recent family gathering I met my cousin's new fiancé. She seems nice and friendly at first glace. However, once dinner started and everyone was engaging in conversations, it quickly became obvious that she was super woke. Now, my family is generally pretty moderate and have no issues with liberals or conservatives, but she is basically a far-left, socialism is good, we need a revolution liberal. The rest of dinner turned into an awkward cringe-fest as she lectured us on how Trump is destroying public education and putting immigrant kids in cages.

So fellow Gaffers, how do you deal with people like that in your own circles? I'm close with my cousin so I don't want to just disassociate from them, but I'm also not sure how to even have a normal conversation with his fiancé without it derailing into some social justice lecture.

Become even more woke then them and make them hate it as result. Cure them with there own disease.

The same on how to counter a religious zealot, put a even more religious zealot next towards him. He will start to get the message pretty fast.
 
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that’s not all and you know that right? Listen to her gratefully and your cousin is a lucky guy.

The Trump Administration is basically trying to do as much damage as they can do now before they leave in a month. They all need to be quarantined but yet they are still running around spreading their diseases.

Good thing Trump is losing like 15 points in the polls so it shows that your cousin’s fiancé is in the majority. 29 days are not too long we can still make it and start the healing process then.

Hopefully you can wake up too soon.
Remember the judge appointing event? No mask no social distancing no safety procedure. Just wanted to rush it. Same thing as the debate. They didn’t get tested before the debate because Trump arrived too late. Should have canceled the debate not rushing it

they just don’t care and want to be in the spotlight before they leave the White House.


Tell us more oh wise one.

 

DESTROYA

Member
Uneducated people voted more for Trump than Hillary. Get the facts straight
And how exactly are you going to prove that ?
But go on continue about ignoring my talking points on Obama and spreading lies about Trump.
Were you bringing up the cage thing when Obama was in office ?
 
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lock2k

Banned
My former best friend became super woke around 6 years ago and he shunned me immediately because I did not conform to his stupid views. He is black, I (and my family) treated him like family for my whole life, and how he is a full blown white people hater and blames white people for everything bad in his life when, in reality, he just wanted to smoke pot and ride his skateboard while other people were studying and trying to get jobs in the fields they studied.

He wanted the easy life and he got fucked. I'm not rich by any means but we studied at the same schools and when my father got him an opportunity for a telemarketing job in his early college years he failed a basic Portuguese language test that was aimed at highschoolers. Keep in mind that despite coming from a poor neighborhood we both went to private schools because his dad busted his ass to give him a good education. We were good friends, but he ultimately decided to hate me. I think it was for the best, though, some people refuse to evolve.

I try to have an open mind but most woke people can't stand to be around my libertarian thoughts anyway.
 

O-N-E

Member
Remember the judge appointing event? No mask no social distancing no safety procedure. Just wanted to rush it. Same thing as the debate. They didn’t get tested before the debate because Trump arrived too late. Should have canceled the debate not rushing it

they just don’t care and want to be in the spotlight before they leave the White House.

The judge thing is bullshit. Every President would do that.

You think him getting COVID is part of trying to do the most damage possible?... to what end? You're not making any sense. His opinion on mask-wearing is a "common-sense" approach, which is fine. He just doesn't want people to completely shut-down their life in a panic because of the disease. It's not exactly a monstrous position.

So again, elaborate on how his administration is "trying to do as much damage as they can do now before they leave "?
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
No uber wokes I know. Thank god.

I just know a couple hard core union people (not pink haired wokes) who are more of the government job entitlement attitude. 200 day banked sick day payout please kind of people.

But that's it.

You don't get these kinds of people in office life, unless it's maybe a tech company. Every office person I've known is chill, dresses fine and doesn't bring politics to work.
 
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teezzy

Banned
As someone who was previously woke and borderline preachy about it, I'd advise to approach it the same way I used to advise my woke friends about their friends/family with more Conservative leanings: be honest and open with them but respect that they have reached their own viewpoints as a result of their own observations and life experiences.

Being the person who abandons them just for thinking a certain way is unhealthy and will only lead to them doublindlg down further and resenting whatever it is you represent as a result. In their minds, it wont be their viewpoints which broke your relationship with one another, it will be yours. Probably in your best interest to just avoid certain discussions with them, and stick to commonalities.

Obviously if someone is toxic, like former friends of mine who openly spout very hateful rhetoric towards black people, muslims, and transgendered folk, then by all means cut them the fuck out. That's not very common with leftists though.

I have a friend who I forget loves to get on his high horse consistently about every little thing and although we run in the same clique, we've naturally drifted. We're on good terms, but due to me being more of a centrist he views me as a nut, and I see him the same way due to how devoted to his Twitter rhetoric he has become.
 

teezzy

Banned
My former best friend became super woke around 6 years ago and he shunned me immediately because I did not conform to his stupid views. He is black, I (and my family) treated him like family for my whole life, and how he is a full blown white people hater and blames white people for everything bad in his life when, in reality, he just wanted to smoke pot and ride his skateboard while other people were studying and trying to get jobs in the fields they studied.

He wanted the easy life and he got fucked. I'm not rich by any means but we studied at the same schools and when my father got him an opportunity for a telemarketing job in his early college years he failed a basic Portuguese language test that was aimed at highschoolers. Keep in mind that despite coming from a poor neighborhood we both went to private schools because his dad busted his ass to give him a good education. We were good friends, but he ultimately decided to hate me. I think it was for the best, though, some people refuse to evolve.

I try to have an open mind but most woke people can't stand to be around my libertarian thoughts anyway.

It really is truly something how those who want to expand government intervention further and further also tend to be the ones who refuse to hold themselves accountable for their own current life situations. It's never their fault. People are skunks.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
As someone who was previously woke and borderline preachy about it, I'd advise to approach it the same way I used to advise my woke friends about their friends/family with more Conservative leanings: be honest and open with them but respect that they have reached their own viewpoints as a result of their own observations and life experiences.

Being the person who abandons them just for thinking a certain way is unhealthy and will only lead to them doublindlg down further and resenting whatever it is you represent as a result. In their minds, it wont be their viewpoints which broke your relationship with one another, it will be yours. Probably in your best interest to just avoid certain discussions with them, and stick to commonalities.

Obviously if someone is toxic, like former friends of mine who openly spout very hateful rhetoric towards black people, muslims, and transgendered folk, then by all means cut them the fuck out. That's not very common with leftists though.

I have a friend who I forget loves to get on his high horse consistently about every little thing and although we run in the same clique, we've naturally drifted. We're on good terms, but due to me being more of a centrist he views me as a nut, and I see him the same way due to how devoted to his Twitter rhetoric he has become.
I know (more like knew) an old coworrker who is one of those uber vegan/anti-meat people. Got so bad, she unfriended anyone on facebook showing family dinners or BBQs. And when it came to lunch, she would only go out to lunch with people who were either super good friends or were vegetarian.

So if word got out a bunch of people were going to go grab food and knew lets say you and some others wanted to join and would get a burger combo she'd decline.
 

Fbh

Member
For family or acquaintances that are both on the far left and far right I just tend to try and change the subject, and answer their political questions or remarks with vague and uninterested responses. If there's other people I usually just go away and start chatting with someone else.
Most eventually get it and talk to me about other stuff.
 
Oh fuck off with that kind of attitude. So now people that have different values and opinions are uneducated racist ?
See thats one of the problems with a Democrats points of view everything besides there hive mind mentality is wrong , racist , uneducated or garbage.
Tbf i see that from all parties. Republicans and Democrats alike.
 
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