First off... lets talk about what "Simping" is. There was a thread a while back that really hinged more on slang and semantics than anything else, but why not go beyond Urban Dictionary debates and talk about what it is?
Some people consider it laying your jacket down over a puddle of water so that the woman of your dreams may walk over it (and you) on the way to her boyfriend's house. Some think its a possible outcome from when people get 'stuck' in the whole courting dance right after the initial Ireallylikethispersonandfindthemattractive because of a lack of experience and social skills. Some think its just a sad hole that people fall into because they have no self-esteem or self-worth and turn the person that they are longing for into something much, much bigger than any person can be. Many think its only bad once you start to rationalize your actions by either ignoring the obvious signs that say this is going nowhere or lose perspective on the situation altogether.
Generally speaking, its devaluing yourself for the sake of another... and it can be done in all kinds of ways. Big and small.
Its probably all of these things. And I think almost everyone has been in these shoes at some point - maybe just a different size or a different color. Everyone is different, but that doesn't mean that people can't share similar experiences.
I've been a contributor to Dating-age for years either through posting in the main threads or by speaking with people via PMs and I honestly believe that the biggest problem here is that people have issues being honest with themselves over anything else - and that is typically the root of all "Simp" problems. If you can't look at your situation for what it is, or simply insist on beating your head against a wall, then your issue goes beyond what simple dating advice can do for you. If you've gone all the way down to "I can't live/function without them"isms, then you're probably not needing dating advice either. At that point, you need someone to tell you to look into a mirror - and that isn't a bad thing either. Sometimes, you don't even know how bad you've become... and you just need that push back towards the general direction of reality.
And maybe that isn't the case either. Its entirely possible that you simply didn't get the class on what to do in order to start up a relationship with someone that you already have an eye for.
Either way, I think its best to differentiate as soon as possible. You can't talk someone into loving you, you can't buy that person enough stuff to make them value you as much as you value them, you can't force your way into someone's life, you can't subtly force your way into someone's life. You can't do all the things you think a boyfriend/girlfriend should do for their significant other, never even make your intentions clear from the start, then get mad at the world when they look at you like you're crazy.
Simping happens to everyone in some shape, form, or fashion in their life. The important thing is that you know when to catch yourself (not try and reject each outside voice) and learn from the experience instead of becoming resentful or more self-loathing.
I lived out a number of my breakups and simp-moments here. No shame in that. Hell, an online, anonymous forum is probably one of the best places for it in my opinion. Tell your old story or your ongoing one - even if you're unsure of your situation, your story is probably going to help someone else reading. Let it out, bros.
Some people consider it laying your jacket down over a puddle of water so that the woman of your dreams may walk over it (and you) on the way to her boyfriend's house. Some think its a possible outcome from when people get 'stuck' in the whole courting dance right after the initial Ireallylikethispersonandfindthemattractive because of a lack of experience and social skills. Some think its just a sad hole that people fall into because they have no self-esteem or self-worth and turn the person that they are longing for into something much, much bigger than any person can be. Many think its only bad once you start to rationalize your actions by either ignoring the obvious signs that say this is going nowhere or lose perspective on the situation altogether.
Generally speaking, its devaluing yourself for the sake of another... and it can be done in all kinds of ways. Big and small.
Its probably all of these things. And I think almost everyone has been in these shoes at some point - maybe just a different size or a different color. Everyone is different, but that doesn't mean that people can't share similar experiences.
That girl in the back of class that you always hold the door open for? The owner of all the books you carry maybe? Maybe its the person that you give a ride to whenever they call even if you have something else going on?
A movie buddy that never pays. A co-worker or another student that always goes to lunch with you - and never pays. That person that you look forward to seeing every day even though you know in the back of your mind that their day remains the same regardless of your presence. She says its not a date - you continue saying to yourself that it is. You think she's the one; she doesn't even have your number saved.
Someone just went from "In A Relationship" to "Single" on Facebook - and you send a message right away that lets her know that she has a shoulder to lean on. You go all out on Valentine's Day or that person's birthday - and again, they don't even have your number saved.
You can't have a conversation with that person without their significant other being brought up somehow - and that's all you focus on.
I've been a contributor to Dating-age for years either through posting in the main threads or by speaking with people via PMs and I honestly believe that the biggest problem here is that people have issues being honest with themselves over anything else - and that is typically the root of all "Simp" problems. If you can't look at your situation for what it is, or simply insist on beating your head against a wall, then your issue goes beyond what simple dating advice can do for you. If you've gone all the way down to "I can't live/function without them"isms, then you're probably not needing dating advice either. At that point, you need someone to tell you to look into a mirror - and that isn't a bad thing either. Sometimes, you don't even know how bad you've become... and you just need that push back towards the general direction of reality.
And maybe that isn't the case either. Its entirely possible that you simply didn't get the class on what to do in order to start up a relationship with someone that you already have an eye for.
Either way, I think its best to differentiate as soon as possible. You can't talk someone into loving you, you can't buy that person enough stuff to make them value you as much as you value them, you can't force your way into someone's life, you can't subtly force your way into someone's life. You can't do all the things you think a boyfriend/girlfriend should do for their significant other, never even make your intentions clear from the start, then get mad at the world when they look at you like you're crazy.
Simping happens to everyone in some shape, form, or fashion in their life. The important thing is that you know when to catch yourself (not try and reject each outside voice) and learn from the experience instead of becoming resentful or more self-loathing.
I lived out a number of my breakups and simp-moments here. No shame in that. Hell, an online, anonymous forum is probably one of the best places for it in my opinion. Tell your old story or your ongoing one - even if you're unsure of your situation, your story is probably going to help someone else reading. Let it out, bros.