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"Simping" |OT| or Where Dating and Depression Meet
- Thread starter DY_nasty
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CherryWoodFuton
Member
I've simped plenty of times in my high school/college years and yes I had self-esteem issues (still do but I'm glad its under control now). Those two seem to go hand in hand. I told this story in that older simping thread but during college I started talking to this girl in my class and we became very close. We would always hang out after class to grab a bite, texted and called each other on numerous occasions, etc. I didnt have enough self confidence to let my true intentions known (I was thinking she was so way out of my league). I told my friend about it and he stupidly convinced me to send her an email about how I felt about her. Needless to say that it was a huge mistake. Long story short she got back with her ex and I was left all alone
PoweredBySoy
Banned
Maybe the problem with social rejects is they keep getting their advice from the internet.
The other thing to keep in mind is that if the woman in question is into you but mysteriously can't communicate that interest then you shouldn't be in that relationship anyway. Big aspect of the simping problem is a mentality of scarcity of options. You might have a scarcity of successes but there are always a lot of options.
Professor Beef
Banned
I simped like a madman back in middle school, and the outcome fucked up my social life. Things improved as the years went by, but looking back I was a damn fool. :lol
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
SouthernDragon
Member
I do this.
Unfortunately.
After Dec. of this year, though, I'm stopping entirely. I've stopped in some part already and it feels really goddamn good.
Unfortunately.
After Dec. of this year, though, I'm stopping entirely. I've stopped in some part already and it feels really goddamn good.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
I dont simp.
Byakuya769
Member
Absolutely. Then there are the guys who find themselves being too picky, also. If girls aren't aggressively interested in you, how is that you think you're going to sneak your way into the life of the girl that all other guys are interested in?
Time and time again, I've seen hyper-selective guys who found no one attractive suddenly do an about face and become involved with someone a bit closer in range. Makes it clear that their hyper-selectivity was a sign of insecurity, in my opinion.
Dude, the D.E.N.N.I.S. is nice and all, but all you really need is a boat. you don't need the system then because of the... implication.
Deified Data
Banned
Every OP in every thread on simping is always weirdly long considering the relatively simple subject matter.
SugarDaddy
Member
I don't understand this
edit: So this is like being friend zoned?
edit: So this is like being friend zoned?
ComputerMKII
Banned
Women are too complicated. After so many years of trying to date girls in vain, I think I'm gonna quit. No woman is worth 10+ years of failing, being sad, getting drunk, reading dating advice, thinking you've found the good mindset, only to find out you were wrong again, so I guess I should just stop altogether.
I hate it. I don't go to some of the extremes as shown above, I at least can acknowledge when I am a friendzone or not but I still fall into (the even worse) One-itis syndrome.Future PhaZe
Member
Good thread. 80% of guys issues in dating threads = Simping.
The thing is--we've all been guilty of simping at some point. The only question is did it take you a day before you realized your woes or years?
The thing is--we've all been guilty of simping at some point. The only question is did it take you a day before you realized your woes or years?
jufonuk
not tag worthy
yeah i've simped before. back in college and university.
but it got me some boobies and a nice fumble in bed. it was deal closing time but no condoms. she had a coil but i declined
she didn't like that.
we remained friends still.
also later on she was turned down by a guy. she wanted to meet up for a self esteem boosting hook up.
i knew what was coming and did not want to be part of it. she basically came to a bar i was at and wouldn't take no for an answer.
long story short she went home with friend of mine. who i invited along because i knew he would want the hook up.
so simping can work just remember to pack condoms.
oh and the second time was because i was discovering my self esteem and didn't want to be strung along or just a hook up buddy.. Ohhh fuck what did i do??????? SHIT.
but it got me some boobies and a nice fumble in bed. it was deal closing time but no condoms. she had a coil but i declined
she didn't like that.
we remained friends still.
also later on she was turned down by a guy. she wanted to meet up for a self esteem boosting hook up.
i knew what was coming and did not want to be part of it. she basically came to a bar i was at and wouldn't take no for an answer.
long story short she went home with friend of mine. who i invited along because i knew he would want the hook up.
so simping can work just remember to pack condoms.
oh and the second time was because i was discovering my self esteem and didn't want to be strung along or just a hook up buddy.. Ohhh fuck what did i do??????? SHIT.
Half and half
Member
Simpin' ain't easy.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Getting warmer, try reading the OP.
Great contribution.
I think the trouble in your mindset here is that there isn't really a time when everything suddenly "clicks" and all your efforts with women become effortless forever after. We all experience ups and downs and really life is just about maximizing your ups and not letting your downs take you out of the game. But I agree, no woman is worth feelings of failure or sadness. You need to overcome those things for yourself and appreciate and believe in your own self-worth before you try convince a stranger.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
Had a guy at my old job buying this girl food every day I came in, with new compliments for her all the time. "Awwww, you're so sweet" was about the most he got out of her.
Ya'll gotta stop this shit, GAF. When you see this shit happen, take this guy by the shoulders and shake the hell of him. "STOP! Don't you have any self-respect!? Pick another direction, brother!"
Ya'll gotta stop this shit, GAF. When you see this shit happen, take this guy by the shoulders and shake the hell of him. "STOP! Don't you have any self-respect!? Pick another direction, brother!"
Lol.
I admit I've fell victim to simping when my ex dumped me. Had to stop what I was doing, IMMEDIATELY.
Stop the simpin' bros.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
He's not a good friend if he posts a frowny-face as the initial comment, and his last comment calls her 'boo boo'. Jesus.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Future PhaZe
Member
Funny thing is that it really does work, but for the sake of this thread we should pretend it doesn't.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Yeah I guess you can act like a doormat for the minuscule chance to get a pity fuck every now and then or you can act like a man and get the attention and respect you deserve.
I disagree. I think behavior like this is very indicative of severe self-esteem issues whether as a symptom or root cause of depression. Somewhere along the line someone got shit on or convinced themselves they aren't worthy and so they deface themselves in order to receive the smallest scraps of attention wherever they can find it.
jufonuk
not tag worthy
was coming to post this sentiment.. beat me to it.
I'm sorry, just...can we please stop doing this? Chopping the end off a word and then misusing it? Please? I know language changes and evolves but this is so dumb...
I have a small story for OP:
I casually-dated (no title) a girl back in June and ended it in August. Had the sense to cut ties when I realized it wasn't going anywhere when I made a shocking discovery that her ex was still in the picture. I was fuming so I just dropped her completely. The guy is a complete douchebag, stereotypical asshole boyfriend.
Two weeks ago we caught up again and just started hanging out. The first time we dated back in June I actually felt emotionally-connected to this girl, and now presently, I confess that I've only been hanging out with her for my own sexual gratification and nothing more. She's still on and off with her ex, but really I could care less because I'm not seeing anything more than a drinking buddy, trophy girl, and sex-partner with this girl. I flirt with other girls, I'm more aloof and spontaneous, daring, and wild and seems like she's taken keen interest in this 'new' me.
Just this weekend we both went to a strip club and had a blast. A stripper took interest in my friend and invited us both over to her boyfriend's place for drinks and whatnot. Eventually after some laughs and great conversations between the 4 of us, the stripper coaxed my friend into some playful girl on girl action that led to sex with her. Back then I probably wouldn't have allowed her to have sex with a girl due to my previous feelings for her, but presently I wasn't even bothered in the least bit, just relentlessly turned on.
I find myself using her as she used me once, deep down probably for revenge, but in the end I think neither of us are expecting to take this further than it already is. Am I a human doormat in denial?
I casually-dated (no title) a girl back in June and ended it in August. Had the sense to cut ties when I realized it wasn't going anywhere when I made a shocking discovery that her ex was still in the picture. I was fuming so I just dropped her completely. The guy is a complete douchebag, stereotypical asshole boyfriend.
Two weeks ago we caught up again and just started hanging out. The first time we dated back in June I actually felt emotionally-connected to this girl, and now presently, I confess that I've only been hanging out with her for my own sexual gratification and nothing more. She's still on and off with her ex, but really I could care less because I'm not seeing anything more than a drinking buddy, trophy girl, and sex-partner with this girl. I flirt with other girls, I'm more aloof and spontaneous, daring, and wild and seems like she's taken keen interest in this 'new' me.
Just this weekend we both went to a strip club and had a blast. A stripper took interest in my friend and invited us both over to her boyfriend's place for drinks and whatnot. Eventually after some laughs and great conversations between the 4 of us, the stripper coaxed my friend into some playful girl on girl action that led to sex with her. Back then I probably wouldn't have allowed her to have sex with a girl due to my previous feelings for her, but presently I wasn't even bothered in the least bit, just relentlessly turned on.
I find myself using her as she used me once, deep down probably for revenge, but in the end I think neither of us are expecting to take this further than it already is. Am I a human doormat in denial?
You're not her bf, she can do whatever she wants.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
No one is misusing words, just because this particular piece of lexis is new to you does not mean it's a bastardization nor worthy of use. If you'd like I invite you to make a thread about how language changes and evolves and debate about the forming of new words in that thread.
But that's not what this thread is for.
I would say no because it sounds like you at least recognize the situation you are in. If you didn't, that would be a classic symptom of simping (SIMPtom if you will): "denial or inability to recognize reality of situation". So I would say no, but you need to also understand that prolonging such a situation is not going to allow you to move forward.
Simpering. Is that not what "simping" is short form for?
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Sometimes i feel like somebody can overcompensate and try too hard to NOT be taken advantage of. I regret how i dealt with the last girl i dated. There was a couple times where i couldve paid for her meal but didnt even though she was relatively poor at the time and i could afford it. There were times when i wouldnt respond to her txts so as not to appear needy. When she broke things off i think she was genuinley surprised when i told her how much i liked her. They say you should learn from your mistakes but how can you when you dont even know what you did wrong. Ive had friends who do things both the same and the opposite of what i did and find success with girls. It seems like you just get lucky and the only guarantee of success is contact (you cant even call it proximity now since some guys find great girls online)
No. Do you know what simpering is?
No, it is the opposite of pimpin. Like matter and antimatter.
I thought it meant showing insincere kindness in hope to gain favor?
Yeah, I think we all do this at some point or another when we're young and don't know better. Once you come into your own and start respecting yourself, you see how silly and wasteful it is.
It's all tied to the attitude of finding "that one girl/guy." You put all of your energy and hopes into that one person, so it's incredibly difficult to just let go and say, "Okay, this one's not gonna work out for me." But dating, like anything else, is a numbers game. The trick is getting comfortable putting yourself out there and not taking it personally when someone doesn't want what you're selling.
Think of it this way. If you've got a 20% success rate of asking people out to them saying yes and you having a solid first date, that's really not so bad if you're asking out like 50 people a year. But if you're the kind of person who obsesses on one particular person, stretches out that initial phase before you ask them out and then tries to salvage something after they lose interest, then that 50 shrinks to like 3. Which basically means a shitty love life.
Everybody strikes out. The lesson you have to learn is that there's no shame in it, and that if someone isn't interested in you romantically, it's just a momentary lapse until the next "yes." So if some girl or guy isn't interested, fuck 'em. Move on. And be courageous enough to step back up to the plate with someone else.
It's all tied to the attitude of finding "that one girl/guy." You put all of your energy and hopes into that one person, so it's incredibly difficult to just let go and say, "Okay, this one's not gonna work out for me." But dating, like anything else, is a numbers game. The trick is getting comfortable putting yourself out there and not taking it personally when someone doesn't want what you're selling.
Think of it this way. If you've got a 20% success rate of asking people out to them saying yes and you having a solid first date, that's really not so bad if you're asking out like 50 people a year. But if you're the kind of person who obsesses on one particular person, stretches out that initial phase before you ask them out and then tries to salvage something after they lose interest, then that 50 shrinks to like 3. Which basically means a shitty love life.
Everybody strikes out. The lesson you have to learn is that there's no shame in it, and that if someone isn't interested in you romantically, it's just a momentary lapse until the next "yes." So if some girl or guy isn't interested, fuck 'em. Move on. And be courageous enough to step back up to the plate with someone else.
Simping and simpering arent the same thing.
Also, this is the same way the other thread self destructed, so if you want to discuss this, take it to another thread
can someone repost this on imgur? i can't see minus.com at work. I want to show my coworkers.So, like "being a human doormat"? Or going full-beta?
Sounds like nerd terms from a PUA handbook pdf.
Dry begging is to indirectly ask for something, and thirsting is to agressively pursue a woman to a point of obvious desperation.
Well, this is the twenty-first century. We don't have to hypothesize what words mean, we can look them up! Simpering means smiling like a Mean Girls character.
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