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62% of people pretend to have read classic novels

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Cheddahz

Banned
I've only read The Catcher In The Rye, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Animal Farm, and The Stranger

I guess they can be considered "classic" books, but I only cared for three out of the four I read
I hated Animal Farm
 

Zoc

Member
Sounds like a romance to me :p

Nah, romances are like all those Shakespeare stories where the two main characters are made for each other, but can't get together for whatever reason until the end. Romances are great, too, don't get me wrong. It's just that Jane Austen, under a paper-thin cover of romance, really wrote about morality and psychology.
 

kswiston

Member
I've only read The Catcher In The Rye, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Animal Farm, and The Stranger

I guess they can be considered "classic" books, but I only cared for three out of the four I read
I hated Animal Farm

I really liked Animal Farm, but I haven't read it since I was 15.

I wonder how many classics the average adult would have read if they weren't forced to read a bunch of them in secondary English classes. I'd bet money that 90% of the people who have read The Catcher in the Rye have only done so because it was assigned in class. That, Death of a Salesman, To Kill a Mockingbird, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest are pretty standard reads in United States/Canada. It would be hard to get through high school without being exposed to one of them.
 
It's kind of funny to lie about reading To Kill a Mockingbird, you can read that in like an afternoon. Dostoevsky or something I can kind of get, but you'd probably get caught.
 
I've all of them on that list except War and Peace and A Passage to India.

As I suspected, this forum is filled with dirty, uncultured peasants.
 
I've all of them on that list except War and Peace and A Passage to India.

As I suspected, this forum is filled with dirty, uncultured peasants.

Well yes. I'd have to turn in my "real degree" club card if I seemed too much like a liberal arts major , it's nothing personal, I'm just professionally obligated to be dirty and uncultured.
 

Unicorn

Member
What if I actually did read them due to my major but promptly forgot everything about them once I turned in my essays?

I remember Wuthering Heights on a reading list, but recall nothing.
 

Chichikov

Member
Well yes. I'd have to turn in my "real degree" club card if I seemed too much like a liberal arts major , it's nothing personal, I'm just professionally obligated to be dirty and uncultured.
I'm a math and physics major, I also studied computer science (which is pretty much how I make my living these days) and I have read every book on that list, come at me bro.
Not trying to be a dick, but your decision to not read those books has nothing to do with your chosen profession. If you're fine with it stop apologizing, if you don't, just read them, I promise you had to read more boring shit during you so called real degree.
Okay, maybe not more boring than A Passage to India, but the point still stands.

p.s.
if you have time to post on gaf, you have time to read some books.
 

Forkball

Member
1984: Read
War and Peace: Never read
Great Expectations: Read
Catcher in the Rye: Never finished
A Passage to India: Never read
Lord of the Rings: Read Fellowship
To Kill A Mockingbird: Read
Crime and Punishment: Never finished
Pride and Prejudice: Never finished
Jane Eyre: Never read

People don't typically seek out classic novels unless they are avid readers of fiction, which admittedly I am not. I really depends on what you were taught in school.
 
I'm a math and physics major, I also studied computer science (which is pretty much how I make my living these days) and I have read every book on that list, come at me bro.
Not trying to be a dick, but your decision to not read those books has nothing to do with your chosen profession. If you're fine with it stop apologizing, if you don't, just read them, I promise you had to read more boring shit during you so called real degree.
Okay, maybe not more boring than A Passage to India, but the point still stands.

p.s.
if you have time to post on gaf, you have time to read some books.

Yeah, none of these are particularly challenging, unless you intend to read the Russian novels untranslated or something.
 
Of those I've read 1984 (it ruined me), To Kill A mockingbird, and Lord of the Rings. I've tried to get through Crime and Punishment several times but it doesn't hold my interest. And I've also read Moby Dick and The Odessy, though they aren't on the list.

Never was into any kind of romance, which is how a lot of those seem to a laymen, so I gave them a skip.
 
I'm a math and physics major, I also studied computer science (which is pretty much how I make my living these days) and I have read every book on that list, come at me bro.
Not trying to be a dick, but your decision to not read those books has nothing to do with your chosen profession. If you're fine with it stop apologizing, if you don't, just read them, I promise you had to read more boring shit during you so called real degree.
Okay, maybe not more boring than A Passage to India, but the point still stands.

p.s.
if you have time to post on gaf, you have time to read some books.

I was just digging back at the uncultured peasant thing. If you scroll up you'll see that I have read 4 of them. And that my overall evaluation of them is that I don't really understand the hype Classics get. I read a lot , just not classics.
 

Vibed

Member
I tried to read 1984 in 7th grade. I made it 3/4 of the way through before I got bored and read a summary of the ending.
 

farisr

Member
Don't like to read books/novels at all. Pretty much only read books that were required readings for a course.

Have read 2 of the books from that list though.

To Kill A Mockingbird was the book we read for Grade 10 English class. So done that.

A Passage To India was actually a "choice" for me. We were allowed to choose whatever we wanted in Grade 12 English (but had to be approved by the teacher to make sure it's the appropriate level of reading and not some pop-up-picture book, LOL). But yeah, the teacher put 2 books on the desk and said whoever attempted one of these 2 books would get extra marks. I was the only one who chose from those (as I really didn't have any clue what I wanted to read since I'm not an avid reader, so may as well get some extra marks out of it).
 
Why would anyone lie about something about that? If you are ashamed for not having read them, why don't you just read them? Out of those I have read 1984, War and Peace, Great Expectations, The Lord of the Rings and Crime and Punishment.
 

Uncle

Member
Well fuck, now no one will believe that I've actually read War and Peace.

When I want to impress ladies I lie say I've read Alastalon salissa. An 800 page book that encompasses something like 6 hours of talking? That makes the panties drop.
 

Chichikov

Member
Yeah, none of these are particularly challenging, unless you intend to read the Russian novels untranslated or something.
There are only two skills required for reading classic novels -
The ability to read and the ability to stare at a piece of paper for a period of time.

If you are able to read Harry Potter or a college textbook, you possess all the skills necessary to read fucking Ulysses.
This obviously not guaranteeing you're going to lake (as I already said, I hated Ulysses) but reading classics is not hard and reading a book you like is the easiest thing ever.
I was just digging back at the uncultured peasant thing. If you scroll up you'll see that I have read 4 of them. And that my overall evaluation of them is that I don't really understand the hype Classics get. I read a lot , just not classics.
I don't think that post was overly serious, and if it was, it was best to ignore it (for real, anyone who thinks that is either an idiot or a super-elitist, probably both).

p.s.
I would suggest you give "the classics" (i kinda hate that term, but i got nothing better) a shot, there are some amazing stuff there.
 

thomaser

Member
  • 1984 by George Orwell – 26%
  • War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy – 19%
  • Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger – 15%
  • Lord of the Rings by J R R Tolkein – 11%
  • Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – 8%
  • Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen – 8%
  • The Bible (3%)
  • Homer’s Odyssey (3%)
  • Wuthering Heights (2%).

Those are the ones I've read. Most of them are well worth their status. Don't care much for Pride and Prejudice, though, but have read it twice. The Bible is hit and miss. Crime and Punishment and War and Peace are amazing masterpieces.

I love reading "classics". They are famous for good reasons, and the issues they bring up are often as relevant today as when they first came out.
 

Trurl

Banned
Surprisingly, half of the adults questioned admit to having displayed books on their shelves without ever having read them.
I own tons of books I haven't read. Someday I hope to read them. Should I hide them until then?
 

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Not true. I just don't claim to have read all of it. More like 1/4th.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
I own tonnes of books I haven't read. Someday I hope to read them. Should I hide them until then?

Yeah, what a weird statistic to include. The majority of books on my shelf are books I haven't read. Almost makes more sense to have books you haven't yet read than books you have read. Reminds me of that scene in Seinfeld.. "Books! Books! I need my books!" (I like holding on to books)
 
Ok, so I'm reading some William Burroughs books (because they're inspirations for some new videogame) and starting with The Soft Machine. What the fuuuu????

Oh wait, is this junkie lingo? Just take the very first line: "I was working the hole with the Sailor and we did not bad fifteen cents on average night boosting the afternoons and short timing the dawn we made out from the land of the free but I was running out of veins..."

Since there are no commas, it's kinda like stream of consciousness. I think I need to embody the character to fully appreciate this.
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
I own tons of books I haven't read. Someday I hope to read them. Should I hide them until then?

The implication is that many people are using books simply to affect an atmosphere of taste and sophistication when they carry no personal importance. Like a vase of flowers or a painting you get at Micheals or Ikea.

It's a little vain to buy books for the sole purpose of displaying them. I do not think I own any books that I haven't read, exept for certain textbooks that were "required" for courses but were never really used.
 

Azulsky

Member
I've noticed this a lot recently, but what's with people hating on Catcher in the Rye? Even my cousin shits all over it and she gobbles over literature a lot.

I remember reading like 20 pages of it, and found the narrator really interesting. Never read a book with such an angry protagonist. I've been meaning to read the whole thing after I watched Ghost in the Shell, so I can form my own opinion.

Considering it was released in 1951 I see the whole thing as just trying to be extremely edgy and that is why it got popular.

Great Expectations is infinitely better.

I guess i 'get' CiTR but it can go burn in the same pile as 50 Shades of Grey and The Awakening
 
The implication is that many people are using books simply to affect an atmosphere of taste and sophistication when they carry no personal importance. Like a vase of flowers or a painting you get at Micheals or Ikea.

It's a little vain to buy books for the sole purpose of displaying them. I do not think I own any books that I haven't read, exept for certain textbooks that were "required" for courses but were never really used.

I used to work at a popular thriftstore that carried books, naturally the bulk of them were 'classics' and those would be what I would buy. When you can buy like a handful of books for five dollars that's usually what I'd do after the end of my shift. I've maybe read like 10% of them. It's worth it if you don't move a lot to have them handy so you can read them if the whim strikes you.
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
I used to work at a popular thriftstore that carried books, naturally the bulk of them were 'classics' and those would be what I would buy. When you can buy like a handful of books for five dollars that's usually what I'd do after the end of my shift. I've maybe read like 10% of them.

Sounds like what happens with steam summer sales.

I have the same policy for those as well, I only buy the things I want to play immediately. If I buy a book, chances are I'm already reading it on the way home.
 
Sounds like what happens with steam summer sales.

I have the same policy for those as well, I only buy the things I want to play immediately.
Yeah but what if the society collapses or you get trapped on an island?

I'm banking on one of those happening later in life.
 
"His shorts dissolved in rectal mucous and carbolic soap. summer dawn smells from a vacant lot."

That's quite the image, Burroughs!

What does "rumbling" someone mean?

*urban dictionary*

  • Verb. To be identified or picked out by a narcotics agent, police, or anyone else around that could potentially rat you out for drugs.
  • "Take the phone. I don't want him to rumble my voice." WSB, The Soft Machine, p. 6 (1961).

Oooooh.
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
Yeah but what if the society collapses or you get trapped on an island?

I'm banking on one of those happening later in life.

Where are you going to get the electricity to play your games???
 

Reyne

Member
Only read Great Expectation, Lord of the Rings and To Kill A Mockingbird of those. Might read the others someday too, though I don't see it happening anytime soon.
 
Where are you going to get the electricity to play your games???
Batteries or solar power or something.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

But you don't need power for books!

Dorian Grey, Dance of Dragons, and Crime and Punishment are just sitting on my table waiting to be read.

I'm just glad I don't need glasses or that twilight zone would give me nightmares.
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
What will you do when steam complains it can't go online? Usually you have to tell steam to go offline while online or else it won't let you play your games.

HOW WILL YOU ACCOUNT FOR THIS IN YOUR POST-APOCALYPTIC GAMING SCENARIO?
 

Agnostic

but believes in Chael
I've read three on the list only because they were a school assignment. I've only probably have read 10-15 novels. I can't stand reading fiction.
 
I've read To Kill A Mocking Bird, Lord of the Flies, Bud not Buddy, and those were the books I enjoyed. Great Gatsby wasn't too terrible.

I need to re-read Catcher in the Rye to see if I still think it is a brick of horseshit.
 

Platy

Member
Expected the Bible to be higher ... maybe people think that reading a few pages = reading the book

Read Orwel, Tolkien and Austen
Don't remember anything about Orwel since was a school read.
There is a chance my brain mixes the Austen novels with their movies ....

But then again, most of the list are classics of the english literature and ... well ... I rather read books written in portuguese =P

...except anything Neil Gaiman touches
 

Uncle

Member
Expected the Bible to be higher ... maybe people think that reading a few pages = reading the book


Purely anecdotal, but I've very rarely heard anyone claim they've read the entire bible. But then again, I'm from a fairly secular country.
 

dimb

Bjergsen is the greatest midlane in the world
Nah, romances are like all those Shakespeare stories where the two main characters are made for each other, but can't get together for whatever reason until the end. Romances are great, too, don't get me wrong. It's just that Jane Austen, under a paper-thin cover of romance, really wrote about morality and psychology.
It sounds like you need to reread Shakespeare.
 
Yeah, I don't think it's as good of a book as 1984, but it's significantly more prophetic.
though that comic has an obviously overly simplistic view of both books, but that's fine for the point it's trying to make which I generally agree with.
I won't, Pumping Iron was awesome and I like biographies in general (though I'm not sure this book is high on my to read list at the moment).

The issue I have with people going "lol BNW is way more accurate" is that Orwell wasn't writing about the 21st century. He was writing about the cold war. I mean ffs the novel is literally called 1984.

Things like regional superstates, proxy wars, the permanent state of war and long lived totalitarian communistic states were all referenced. Orwell wasn't prophesying a clear future for the west but rather giving a nightmare vision of the west under a Stalinesque regime.

And yes it's also much more compellingly written.
 

Platy

Member
Purely anecdotal, but I've very rarely heard anyone claim they've read the entire bible. But then again, I'm from a fairly secular country.

Which is strange since by MY anecdotal evidence, more atheists and non religious people read the bible than religious people who actualy believe in the bible
 
Batteries or solar power or something.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

But you don't need power for books!

Dorian Grey, Dance of Dragons, and Crime and Punishment are just sitting on my table waiting to be read.

I'm just glad I don't need glasses or that twilight zone would give me nightmares.

Aw man, you're in for a treat with The Picture of Dorian Gray! I'm kind of jealous of you getting to read it for the first time. Start it tonight! Once you've finished, you might want to check out A Rebours by JK Huysmans. You'll see why. :)
 
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