Dynamite Shikoku
Congratulations, you really deserve it!
Yeah sounds like grooming
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Adults who "call dibs" on teenagers.
- Thread starter SalvaPot
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Intheflorsh
Banned
How long has it been?
Via Purifico
Banned
With that type of creepy dedication I am not sure it would matter. She should get far away from him as possible.
soundscream
Member
Fuck...... I thought this was going to be about calling dibs on the last slice of pizza or who's ridding shotgun. Never this.
What did he mean by this?
Member
That's not a thing in any normal persons vocabulary
And I'm sure this person has the best intentions in mind for the growth of the child: not about her education, career, etc. just how hot she's going to be. Sounds like a healthy (future) relationship right out one' them animes
And I'm sure this person has the best intentions in mind for the growth of the child: not about her education, career, etc. just how hot she's going to be. Sounds like a healthy (future) relationship right out one' them animes
The conversation was at least 3 years ago (She should be 17 around now?), it was before I had my bunny. And I don't go to as many Expos as I used to so I haven't seen either of them around in a while. Point is I haven't had any contact with them since then, so I don't know what happened after the conversation.
I did saw her walking around with a group of girls a few times, but I can't recall if I ever saw him again. It has been a few years after all.
That's not just creepy, it's insane and exploitative...
A controlling, manipulative and downright crazy person like this would probably not take it lightly...
A controlling, manipulative and downright crazy person like this would probably not take it lightly...
ClosingADoor
Member
Your parents did nothing about this?
Wait, was she 14 then? Or is this going on for 3 years already, meaning it started when she was 11?
Username1198
Member
now that I think about it, I probably would have let the authorities know. Just in case
FortuneFaded
Member
Didn't this happen at the end of the Twilight series?
I think this thread is more about awareness. Before this conversation I was not aware this was something that happened that often, and today I learned it also has a name: Grooming. Its slimy as fuck and if I had been aware at the time I may have said more about it, but at the moment it just seemed like some kind of delusion by the guy and not actually something he could go about.
I honestly think that nothing came out of it, but I still feel like I could have said more about it.
Creeped, not much (I come from a country where the age of consent is 14, except special cases), after all you said that she looks very mature (and he looks very immature on the other side). I simply find it sad, very sad.
I don't want to judge, perhaps they have found the love of their life in each other and age (and her parents with a shotgun) is the only thing stopping them from having a perfect life together, getting married and all that stuff, but both the fact that he is "waiting for her to come of age" is weird. I mean, it's their business and stuff, the simple fact that they feel the need to explain that is suspicious.
Seriously, waiting for sex until the other part is ready is a normal part of young romance (and yes, at 26 you are still young), but this looks simply pitiful. It's not calling dibs, its creating a false sense of commitment to keep his insecurities at bay. As you said, nothing points to the fact that she will still be available when she becomes an adult. And probably she will not be, this will end badly.
I don't want to judge, perhaps they have found the love of their life in each other and age (and her parents with a shotgun) is the only thing stopping them from having a perfect life together, getting married and all that stuff, but both the fact that he is "waiting for her to come of age" is weird. I mean, it's their business and stuff, the simple fact that they feel the need to explain that is suspicious.
Seriously, waiting for sex until the other part is ready is a normal part of young romance (and yes, at 26 you are still young), but this looks simply pitiful. It's not calling dibs, its creating a false sense of commitment to keep his insecurities at bay. As you said, nothing points to the fact that she will still be available when she becomes an adult. And probably she will not be, this will end badly.
BewareTheBatsie
Member
Wait do you mean that he's been hanging around her since she was 11? Dude, that is a serious sign you need to find this girls parents and tell them.
Oh so she's seventeen now. Still creepy as hell he's been waiting this long.
She was 14 then, so she should be around 17 now, but I don't have contact with either on them anymore since the conversation so I have no idea what happened after that.
YoYo Switch
Banned
what a scumbag
At 26, you should be well beyond being old enough to know this is not okay.
My mom encouraged them. I wasn't told about it until they were over a year into the relationship, when she was 17. I don't live with them, what am I going to do? I told my sister it was a bad idea and he was a creep. She said, "I know." But they're still together, and he threatens to kill himself whenever he feels she is looking elsewhere.
mcz117chief
Member
eh, my physics teacher from high school married one of his pupils 2 years ago and they already have a child.
You're right in that that is also pretty fucking creepy.
Intheflorsh
Banned
Man, that is fucked up. Do your mother knows this and still encourages it? Why would she do that? Sounds like she is not that happy with the relationship if she is aware he is a creep.
Was this while she was still his student? Aren't there rules against that? By rules I mean actual laws.
It's one thing if the two happened to fall in love (and no illegal shenanigans going on), they wait until she comes of age and they get married. Still creepy, but legal I suppose. And he should be thankful no one apparently knew about it or kept quiet, because he'd be so damn fired.
Having said that, grooming someone, and telling your friends you call dibs on that person goes so far past the line that the line looks like a dot.
The bolded is mutually exclusive. This guy is grooming this girl. Punch him in the dick.
mcz117chief
Member
well if they married each other I guess it isn't so creepy. I think she was 17 or 18. My grandma was also 17 when she got married.
I don't think so, why should there be? If they want to marry each other it's their business.
yeah, I guess you are right, this situation is much much worse. I am not super sure about the details but he might have married her after she graduated.
ClosingADoor
Member
No, a teacher has an authority position and should be aware that dating a student is wrong. Schools have rules against that also.
If they get involved after, it is a different story.
This is bad, I mean seriously bad, this is a very bad sign that psychological abuse is going on.
Should being the main word there, but I get the point.
mcz117chief
Member
Right, that makes sense. I guess it would make more sense if they married after she graduated. Still, even though rules like this exists, I have known about a number of sexual incidents at my high school between teachers and pupils and as far as I know nobody got fired over it.
If they dated/married after graduation then its cool, even if a bit eyebrow raising.
Where do you live? Sexual incidents between teachers and students are full sexual scandals here, and someone getting fired is a given. Its unacceptable.
My mom is brushing fifty and is dating a guy only a few years older than me. I'm 27. She doesn't care about the age difference. I think she finds some allure in it, and is encouraging my sister to do the same.
As soon as I heard about it all I could see were red flags.
BudokaiMR2
Member
They should have been.
ClosingADoor
Member
That's pretty messed up. Certainly at a high school where the students would be minors.
After a certain age, the difference doesn't matter as much. But when you are still in your teens, it certainly does. Your mom has some strange thoughts if she thinks this is a healthy relationship for your sister.
It sounds like she is projecting... but I am no psychologist, so what do I know. What do your sister thinks about it? I mean, she is an adult and can do whatever she wants with her life, but if she is been manipulated into that position it could end badly.
mcz117chief
Member
Yeah, it caught me of guard a little bit too, but it made me laugh more than anything. I live in Easter Europe and our school is/was notorious for this kind of stuff, we threw fireballs (toilet paper on fire) at cats, we fought with fire extinguishers, stuff like that
yeah, some of my female friends admitted that they did it, but our age of consent is at 15 so it wasn't illegal I guess.
I'm not saying the shouldn't, I'm just saying they weren't.
I'm sure that he was going to patiently "wait" for four years.
I'm sure he won't take "No!" for an answer. He probably has the roofies ready.
She knows it's weird but I think she's comfortable with the relationship and sees it as a way to springboard her own career, since the guy is involved in the industry she wants to grow into. She talks to other people, but this older dude always remains #1 for her. He chastises her for partying, he's always worrying about her phone, who's texting her, what are you doing, etc. I've met him once, before I knew how old he was, and he seemed overprotective of her around me, which is so fucked up I immediately felt revolted by him. He's a worm, not a man. But my sister is still with him, and she's free to fuck up what she will.
blankempathy
Member
Yep. Basically it's when someone significantly older targets a younger person when they're still naive and impressionable and skews their views in an attempt to manufacture their perfect woman/man. If I could compare it to anything it would be brainwashing. Now with that said as you can imagine someone who does this to another person is likely pretty screwed up themselves and situations like these tend to end badly. Now this isn't the case for every older person falling for a younger pwrson. But the way op described it yea..
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