Mammoth Jones
Member
Chumly said:
This. Dude gives you his bike and asked to come over. Right there OP starts by TAKING. Now it's time to give back. Don't want to do that? That's perfectly acceptable. Give the dude his bike back and be done with it.
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Annoying friend is getting creepy
- Thread starter Tunavi
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This. Dude gives you his bike and asked to come over. Right there OP starts by TAKING. Now it's time to give back. Don't want to do that? That's perfectly acceptable. Give the dude his bike back and be done with it.
All you have to do is tell him "Hey man, I wanted to talk to you about something. Me and the roommates decided it's best if you don't stay over anymore." followed by "You can't come over anymore." if he tries to argue or something. Have your roommates with you just to prove that it was a unanimous decision. If he asks for his bike back then return it.
shanshan310
Member
Chumly said:
Its a slippery slope. I've seen it happen before. If the OP doesn't lay some ground rules this guy is going to get more and more comfortable there.
CF_Fighter
Member
I'll admit I was a bit like the guy in the OPs post the first semester I returned to college after a few year hiatus. Assuming I'm part of a group when clearly I'm not, according to the others. I was in a new town and didn't have any friends at the school aand I lived with 3 other guys in a dorm/apartment. I thought 'Great these guys will be cool to hang out with.' When I asked to hang out with them if they were going out they always said it was cool, but as the semester went on they seemed to be avoiding me and slipping out when I was out of eye or ear shot. This went on for a good few weeks and I finally confronted one of them and asked if I had overstepped any bounds earlier in the semester and they said "yes" because I always seemed to be inserting myself into things. Them being passive aggressive I think hurt our relationship even more. I even called them on it and they didn't like that. I think we all learned a lesson through that.
I was also a few years older than them so I think our age difference was just a problem as well. I was simply looking for people to hang out with and they obviously weren't open to a new person in their group.
They were an odd group of guys anyway. Rarely wanted to go out, never drank or did any "college-y" things, and LOVED 4 Chan a little too much. I was the complete opposite. Always wanting to go out if someone wants to, enjoying a few beers or shots, and browsing GAF.
I was also a few years older than them so I think our age difference was just a problem as well. I was simply looking for people to hang out with and they obviously weren't open to a new person in their group.
They were an odd group of guys anyway. Rarely wanted to go out, never drank or did any "college-y" things, and LOVED 4 Chan a little too much. I was the complete opposite. Always wanting to go out if someone wants to, enjoying a few beers or shots, and browsing GAF.
Perfect Blue
Banned
He's saving up money to buy it by not letting the dude play his Xbox.apana said:
HeadlessRoland
Banned
Someone do some maths and figure out how much power an xbox consumes in a 1-2 hour period and its expense. I bet its 5-10 cents.
shanshan310
Member
Chumly said:
Someone's sticking up for the OP?! Must be an alt account! Its inconceivable that someone would actually agree with him! I don't get it. How many people have TWO private email adresses?!
I am saying that in my experience it has been a slippery slope. There is nothing wrong with the OP not wanting him to use his xbox. Its after midnight, everyone is probably thinking about bed. Guy said he wanted a place to sleep so that he would be closer to uni in the morning. OP provided that and probably thought he was going to bed too.
Yes the guy gave him a bike, but it seems that he was the one who offered, not the OP asking if he could have his bike. It was nice of him, but expecting OP to then house him in return was a bit much, like he was only doing kind things because he wanted something back.
Here, I got one.
Met a dude at a mutual friend's house. Seemed pretty cool, liked a lot of the same games and things as me. Actually, he's really very attractive physically (like, he could be a model, the right build and face and everything) but I didn't pay that much attention since he introduced me to his girlfriend that night (very nice girl) and so I didn't have any intentions/expectations or whatever. We had a good time and added each other on Facebook. Maybe twice in the year we've known each other have we chatted. In fact, I remember messaging him once and him not answering or something.
Anywho, one day he starts up a convo (to my surprise) and we have a great convo about Street Fighter and shit. At some point, outta nowhere, he's like "you know, I really like you. You're cool." "thanks, haha.."
and throughout the course of the evening "you know, you kinda turn me on. I like cool girls. Plus, you're hot. Are you wet right now?"
"WHAT"
"Whoa, sorry. Hope you didn't take that the wrong way. I am bad at expressing myself and stuff."
"*changes subject*"
"So, do you masturbate? Schlick or whatever? I bet you do."
"WTF"
"I have a stain of pre-cum on my boxers."
"Umm...haha, I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Nooo don't go. Nothing like talking to a beautiful girl and stroking yourself."
"SORRY, NIGHT!"
TL;DR: friend of mine with a girlfriend randomly said all of the bolded above
Met a dude at a mutual friend's house. Seemed pretty cool, liked a lot of the same games and things as me. Actually, he's really very attractive physically (like, he could be a model, the right build and face and everything) but I didn't pay that much attention since he introduced me to his girlfriend that night (very nice girl) and so I didn't have any intentions/expectations or whatever. We had a good time and added each other on Facebook. Maybe twice in the year we've known each other have we chatted. In fact, I remember messaging him once and him not answering or something.
Anywho, one day he starts up a convo (to my surprise) and we have a great convo about Street Fighter and shit. At some point, outta nowhere, he's like "you know, I really like you. You're cool." "thanks, haha.."
and throughout the course of the evening "you know, you kinda turn me on. I like cool girls. Plus, you're hot. Are you wet right now?"
"WHAT"
"Whoa, sorry. Hope you didn't take that the wrong way. I am bad at expressing myself and stuff."
"*changes subject*"
"So, do you masturbate? Schlick or whatever? I bet you do."
"WTF"
"I have a stain of pre-cum on my boxers."
"Umm...haha, I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Nooo don't go. Nothing like talking to a beautiful girl and stroking yourself."
"SORRY, NIGHT!"
TL;DR: friend of mine with a girlfriend randomly said all of the bolded above
This story reminds me my first roomate. Dude was a gigantic pussy (was a big fat dude and he'd literally would hide behind me at the first sense of danger) and an idiot. He'd always talk shit about someone behind their back everyday. Living with him skewed my view of society. But after reading this thread it's good to know that there are decent people around. A lot of you gaffers seem cool as fuck irl
HeadlessRoland
Banned
The part that is so silly that this entire situation could be resolved with like 3 minutes of polite conversation... Why do people always make things so difficult?!
Square Triangle
Member
God Damn how did you make through High School? Tell the kid what's up and give back the fucking schwinn.
WordAssassin
Member
This is super legit. My dad calls me shitbird all the time. A+Maddness said:
TheKyle07 said:
Don't think so, since from that day onwards he's been starting convos almost daily. I haven't really been replying. If ever he asked IRL I'd prolly say my phone was signed in or whatever.
I brought this up to our mutual friends and they laughed so hard. I was like "...does he still have a girlfriend?" "yeah, haha, he's kind of gross."
I know I really should have just told him off or whatever. I tend to freeze up in those situations and try to dip.
serotonina
Member
I feel the urge to punch the OP in the face.
shanshan310
Member
overcast said:
Seriously. Its like everyone on GAF who has ever been denied usage of an acquaintance's xbox is here venting their rage.
Square Triangle
Member
Not at all. The OP is just ridiculous. The kid let's him use his bike, might have overstayed his welcomed me, but not allowing him to play with the xbox? How old is he? And to not be able to handle this situation like an adult is just pathetic. I feel bad for the kid with the bike.shanshan310 said:
I can't see what the guy is doing wrong.
Gave OP a bike
Asked to stay over which was agree to and he stays over for the allotted time.
Asked to be invited to the part (He doesn't have to ask OP)
OP was rude with his Xbox
If I were him, I would think OP is creepy. Since he appears to be behaving normally, I wold just give him back his bike and ask him to stop doing the things that were agreed to.
Gave OP a bike
Asked to stay over which was agree to and he stays over for the allotted time.
Asked to be invited to the part (He doesn't have to ask OP)
OP was rude with his Xbox
If I were him, I would think OP is creepy. Since he appears to be behaving normally, I wold just give him back his bike and ask him to stop doing the things that were agreed to.
shanshan310
Member
Square Triangle said:
I can't believe how big you are all making this bloody xbox thing. OP didn't feel comfortable, so what? I don't think I'd like a stranger using my stuff either. How old are all of YOU?
Red Liquorice
Member
With prior notice 'Hey, I think I'm getting a new bike, so I'll be able to give yours back soon' and on campus or wherever, not when he's over at your house, give the guy his bike back, say you don't need it any more, or are getting a new one, so say big thanks for letting you borrow it for a while. At the same time, say the next time he's over at yours (letting him down easy), he can't stay over because of ________ (studying, tired, room mates complaining, whatever). Then after a couple of times of not staying over, it's 'I'm out next Monday, but I'll see you on campus in the week', or 'let's grab a quick coffee on Tuesday instead'. Then he's never over at yours, you control the situation.
You can just say 'You can't stay over any more, here's your bike. BYE!' - But I see OP's point in being non-confrontational.
I do think it was weird he asked a stranger to come to their party, and completely bypassing his only connection (you and house mates) - This tells me he might know how you feel about him.
Never take things for free from people you don't want in your life, the bike was clearly a bargaining tool - You didn't see it then, now you know - life lesson learned. Maybe he will learn a lesson to in not to come on to strong.
You can just say 'You can't stay over any more, here's your bike. BYE!' - But I see OP's point in being non-confrontational.
I do think it was weird he asked a stranger to come to their party, and completely bypassing his only connection (you and house mates) - This tells me he might know how you feel about him.
Never take things for free from people you don't want in your life, the bike was clearly a bargaining tool - You didn't see it then, now you know - life lesson learned. Maybe he will learn a lesson to in not to come on to strong.
Square Triangle
Member
If he is a stranger...why would he be allowed to stay over?shanshan310 said:
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
DoctorButt said:
Then kick him out.
HAL_Laboratory
Member
Text him? Really? No offense man, but you're a bigger problem than he is right now. The guy just wanted to use your xbox and go to a birthday party. Can't blame him for trying. You're on GAF complaining about him and wondering whether to send him a text saying you don't want him there. That's just straight up pussification right there. Be a gentleman and ask him to leave. In person. Don't be a worm.Tunavi said:
shanshan310
Member
Red Liquorice said:
I think this might be the best solution so far.
gutter_trash
Banned
he is a latcher
the worst trait of a latcher is that they don't get it and nothing sinks into into their empty thick skulls
the worst trait of a latcher is that they don't get it and nothing sinks into into their empty thick skulls
OP you are a douche. You don't like the guy, you took a gift from that benefited you. You accepted a gift from a guy you don't like that benefited you AND you imposed part of the payment (visits) on your roommates.
4 nights is too much? LOL. This is college dude. Unless you establish some house rules, people will take your open ended invitation literally. If you really only meant a few nights, then you should have clarified in your original deal. He is not in the wrong for wanting to play with your Xbox; a host is suppose to supply reasonable entertainment to their guest. He gives you a bike, but you don't want him playing your Xbox? Again, you are a douche. You used this guy for a bike, and now don't want to "repay" him for it.
Other people have covered the party thing well. It was an open invite, and he asked the hostess. Do you require your roommate to ask for permission to attend parties? If, no, they why is this guy the exception?
You invited this guy into your life. If you don't want him around, then you have to man up and either a) set some ground rules about the house visits or b) remove him from your circle firmly but gentle.
What exactly did you mean he could come over at visit at night? Did you mean the weekends? Invites only? Did you just mean for him to have a couch to crash on so he didn't have to drive home on late nights?
It is up to you to set down with him and say:
"Hey, I know told you to come over, but that is before I knew how much homework I was going to have from classes. On nights XXXX I really need quiet for me and my roommates to study. If you want to come by and chat or play Xbox, this day and time would be better."
"Dude, I sorry. I know I said you could come over a few nights, but I am now uncomfortable with the arrangement. I don't know you well enough yet to be having you coming over so much. And my roommates are not happy with the arrangement either. I didn't clear it with them. I sorry, I don't want you coming over to my house anymore for awhile. We can still chat on campus. So that there are no hard feeling, I want to give you the bike back."
4 nights is too much? LOL. This is college dude. Unless you establish some house rules, people will take your open ended invitation literally. If you really only meant a few nights, then you should have clarified in your original deal. He is not in the wrong for wanting to play with your Xbox; a host is suppose to supply reasonable entertainment to their guest. He gives you a bike, but you don't want him playing your Xbox? Again, you are a douche. You used this guy for a bike, and now don't want to "repay" him for it.
Other people have covered the party thing well. It was an open invite, and he asked the hostess. Do you require your roommate to ask for permission to attend parties? If, no, they why is this guy the exception?
You invited this guy into your life. If you don't want him around, then you have to man up and either a) set some ground rules about the house visits or b) remove him from your circle firmly but gentle.
What exactly did you mean he could come over at visit at night? Did you mean the weekends? Invites only? Did you just mean for him to have a couch to crash on so he didn't have to drive home on late nights?
It is up to you to set down with him and say:
"Hey, I know told you to come over, but that is before I knew how much homework I was going to have from classes. On nights XXXX I really need quiet for me and my roommates to study. If you want to come by and chat or play Xbox, this day and time would be better."
"Dude, I sorry. I know I said you could come over a few nights, but I am now uncomfortable with the arrangement. I don't know you well enough yet to be having you coming over so much. And my roommates are not happy with the arrangement either. I didn't clear it with them. I sorry, I don't want you coming over to my house anymore for awhile. We can still chat on campus. So that there are no hard feeling, I want to give you the bike back."
shanshan310
Member
Chococat said:
They guy offered him a bike. Seems now like he was not doing it because he was a nice guy doing a favour, but because he wanted something in return. Are you the dude with the bike?
Christ people, stop getting so hung up on the xbox.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
Chococat said:
I read this, and to me it sounded like date rape defense.
"OP you are a douche. You don't like the guy, you took a drink from that benefited you. You accepted a drinkfrom a guy you don't like that benefited you.
Rape too much? LOL. This is college dude. Unless you establish some house rules, people will take your open ended invitation literally. If you really only meant one drink, then you should have clarified in your original deal. He is not in the wrong for wanting to rape you; a host is suppose to supply reasonable entertainment to their guest. He gives you a drink, but you don't want him raping you? Again, you are a douche. You used this guy for a drink, and now don't want to "repay" him for it."
GotEmRunnin
Member
A. Either give the bike back and re-nig
on the whole staying over situation.
B. Keep the bike; learn to deal with the "annoying" kid and let him play your xbox.
To back out of a deal or a promise.
B. Keep the bike; learn to deal with the "annoying" kid and let him play your xbox.
shanshan310 said:
Well DUH. The OP offer something in return. And now he is regretting it. The guy who offered the bike isn't doing anything wrong. Still, the OP has a right to feel uncomfortable and to not want this guy around anymore. It is simple up to him to set the rules or end the relationship. I'm sorry my suggest didn't involve " fuck his girl friend, piss on his shit " or some other manly crap.
shanshan310 said:
People are only hung up on the Xbox because the OP was being silly about not letting the guy uses it. "Electricity cost money!" What kind of excuse is that?
serotonina
Member
So bascially:
OP needs a bike, a kid the OP and his buddies find annoying offer it. OP takes it.
The bike kid then ask if he can crash sometime at OP place to sleep and stuff like that. OP agrees.
Bike kid come to OP place 4 nights. One night he ask if he can use OP xbox, OP justify himself saying he got homework and electricity bills (Instead of saying clearly he's uncomfortable if people he doesnt know well use his stuff), Bike kid say something on the line of "Lol dude, you love that xbox a lot huh?" OP instead of just saying "Dude, I don't know you that much, I don't want you to use it" ignores him. Bike kid then joke on the same vein with OP's flatmates.
After that bike kid sees an event in Facebook, which I assume is open or OP and his friends discussed about it. He then proceed to ask the host of the party if he can come, and she agrees. OP seems to be uncomfortable.
OP is either hiding something about the story, or he's just a ball-less socially inept excuse for a man for not placing some boundaries from the start, and for wanting to text the bike kid about it instead of talking. Jeez.
OP needs a bike, a kid the OP and his buddies find annoying offer it. OP takes it.
The bike kid then ask if he can crash sometime at OP place to sleep and stuff like that. OP agrees.
Bike kid come to OP place 4 nights. One night he ask if he can use OP xbox, OP justify himself saying he got homework and electricity bills (Instead of saying clearly he's uncomfortable if people he doesnt know well use his stuff), Bike kid say something on the line of "Lol dude, you love that xbox a lot huh?" OP instead of just saying "Dude, I don't know you that much, I don't want you to use it" ignores him. Bike kid then joke on the same vein with OP's flatmates.
After that bike kid sees an event in Facebook, which I assume is open or OP and his friends discussed about it. He then proceed to ask the host of the party if he can come, and she agrees. OP seems to be uncomfortable.
OP is either hiding something about the story, or he's just a ball-less socially inept excuse for a man for not placing some boundaries from the start, and for wanting to text the bike kid about it instead of talking. Jeez.
That's a very astute observation given the fact that the guy asked if he could stay over some times during the very same conversation in which he offered to give the OP a bike.shanshan310 said:
The Xbox thing stands out and the statement that "it's not weird to want to keep a stranger from using your stuff" in light of the fact that the OP allowed him to sleep in his apartment. If he was really paranoid about a "stranger" using his stuff, then it would seem odd that he would invite him into his apartment at all. And, yes, by agreeing to have the guy spend some nights in his apartment he did, in fact, invite his presence there.
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