shanshan310
Member
wrowa said:
Wait, you think that was the real reason?
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Annoying friend is getting creepy
- Thread starter Tunavi
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Wait, you think that was the real reason?
What I don't understand: What is that guy doing until midnight if he doesn't have any friends?
I don't understand you, to be honest. Your last post makes it sound as if it's a bad thing that the guy wants something in return for the bike. But in fact it's completely reasonable to expect something in return if you give something. However, taking something without giving something in return is not reasonable -- and that's what the OP is apparently doing. Even though sleeping over was part of the deal, the OP acts now as if it wasn't.
If it's not the real reason the OP shouldn't say that.shanshan310 said:
I don't understand you, to be honest. Your last post makes it sound as if it's a bad thing that the guy wants something in return for the bike. But in fact it's completely reasonable to expect something in return if you give something. However, taking something without giving something in return is not reasonable -- and that's what the OP is apparently doing. Even though sleeping over was part of the deal, the OP acts now as if it wasn't.
shanshan310
Member
Its not unreasonable to expect kindness in return, but now it seems like the only reason he gave the OP his bike was so that he could use his place to stay at. The guy asked if he could stay RIGHT after he offered up his bike, and the OP probably felt obliged to give something back. The guy is now taking advantage of the OP by coming over significantly more frequently than was first suggested, and coming over very late. There is kindness, and there is doing something so that people "owe you" a favour. Reminds me of guys who buy you a drink, but then get pissed off when you don't want to sleep with them.
As for the xbox, he was trying to be polite about saying no. I'll say no more about it because I think I've clearly stated my opinion already.
As for the xbox, he was trying to be polite about saying no. I'll say no more about it because I think I've clearly stated my opinion already.
Glorious_Paradox
Member
Receiving gifts means losing freedom. Return the gift, and (politely) tell him to fuck off.
If you're not comfortable with confrontations, then it's *especially* important you do so. It will help you grow some balls that will come in handy later in life.
If you're not comfortable with confrontations, then it's *especially* important you do so. It will help you grow some balls that will come in handy later in life.
Seraphinianus
Banned
Steelrain said:
look out, he's kind of a little passive-aggressive bitch
The Albatross
Member
Gotta give him the bike back and be like, "Hey man, I'm sorry but I don't think it's working out. Our lease doesn't let other people stay here regularly and the landlord asked about it."
Or, if you just want to come clean, "We [your roommates need to be with you] don't think that this is working for us."
Or, if you just want to come clean, "We [your roommates need to be with you] don't think that this is working for us."
So basically you agreed to let a guy stay at your place a couple times in exchange of his bike and now you regret it cause you never liked him in the first place?
Solution seems pretty obvious, give him his bike back and tell him he can't stay anymore.
Out of curiosity, what is it that he does to make you hate him? Does he piss on the toilet seat or something?
Solution seems pretty obvious, give him his bike back and tell him he can't stay anymore.
Out of curiosity, what is it that he does to make you hate him? Does he piss on the toilet seat or something?
Sho_Nuff82
Member
Kitschkraft said:
This is one of the worst advice posts I've ever read on GAF, thanks for the laugh.
Holy crap the OP got butchered in here!
It always sucks to bring this stuff up if you want to be nice to people. I suggest you try to bring it up in a friendly manner, that he cant sleep over all the time, but can still come visit and stuff.
You still want to be friends with this poor guy right? Because it really looks like he just wants to make some friends to hang out with.
It always sucks to bring this stuff up if you want to be nice to people. I suggest you try to bring it up in a friendly manner, that he cant sleep over all the time, but can still come visit and stuff.
You still want to be friends with this poor guy right? Because it really looks like he just wants to make some friends to hang out with.
The solution is obvious. Give the guy the bike back, tell him he is no longer welcome at the OPs house.
The OP needs a bike for transportation and running the Xbox is a drain on his financial resources. The OP should sell the Xbox and buy a bike of his own. He can get one later down the road when he can afford the luxury of owning a gaming system.
The OP needs a bike for transportation and running the Xbox is a drain on his financial resources. The OP should sell the Xbox and buy a bike of his own. He can get one later down the road when he can afford the luxury of owning a gaming system.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
shanshan310 said:
The dude seems like a victim of a lame off-campus housing situation. He lives (presumably) further away so he doesn't get regular invites to dorm parties and such, so he saw the OP as a way into a few new social circles.
OP is disgusted at the thought of this kid joining his social circle, he's made that clear. He's also disgusted at the thought of the kid becoming friends with anyone he knows, the party situation made that clear (I wonder how the OP would have reacted if couch boy hooked up with the hostess). That's being a little too possessive.
Someone hit the nail on the head, it sounds like typical cliquey high school bullshit transferred to college. If you don't want dude sleeping on your couch or ever hanging out with you, give the bike back and tell him you have no vacancies.
If you're going to allow people to sleep over, the least you can do is offer them beer, a blanket, and a television ffs. Telling someone they can't play your Xbox once they've already been welcomed into your home is a bitch move. He's not asking to use your toothbrush or your razor.
There's an old saying, "shit, or get off the pot." Don't be a shady halfway friend. If you don't want to see this guy socially, tell him the deal is off and walk your ass to school.
I feel sorry for OP getting thread backfire and slaughtered like this. His story reminds me of me and a bunch of international friends (British, Swedes, Australian, and one American) when we were students in Japan. After spending a few months together, we all became tight with each other but we were always open to new students joining our group.
Except for this one guy. He was very obnoxious and his idea of humor just didn't mesh with our group, especially the girls, who thought he was creepy, sexist and annoying. The rest of us just found him annoying. It was very awkward when we wanted to go somewhere and he asked where we're going. We had to lie to keep him from joining and ruining the group's dynamic. We felt bad about it but letting him in would just ruin our fun together.
Except for this one guy. He was very obnoxious and his idea of humor just didn't mesh with our group, especially the girls, who thought he was creepy, sexist and annoying. The rest of us just found him annoying. It was very awkward when we wanted to go somewhere and he asked where we're going. We had to lie to keep him from joining and ruining the group's dynamic. We felt bad about it but letting him in would just ruin our fun together.
Okay I will.Tunavi said:
Man the fuck up and tell him he can't come over anymore. If he asks why, say it's because you don't want him to come over anymore. That's all you have to say. After the second time I'd be like "look, it's my apartment and we don't want you coming over" end of story.
You sound like you have no backbone :|
Count Dookkake
Member
It is good to be selective about friendship and who you let in your house.
Fenderputty
Banned
3N16MA said:
This.
What I find even more odd, is that you make it seem like this has been going on for months on end. What's he stayed at your place like 4 times now?
Give the bike back and tell him your sorry but he can't just be crashing or man up and realize you got yourself into this situation.
I hate people like this. Just so goddamn annoying and it just makes me want to punch them in their face. I had a friend who did annoying crap like this and was always around like a stray dog. He was just so annoying and didn't have any other friends except me and one other person. I ended up bruning the bridge by ignoring phone calls and txt messages from him. He still txts me once a week or so when we haven't talked in two months. What an idiot.... quit being annoying and maybe people would be friends with you ~_~
HeadlessRoland
Banned
He is certainly an idiot for trying to be friend with a douche. You are a douche for lacking the balls to be honest like a fucking grownup.
Okay I reanalyzed the issue. You're both in the wrong:
Guy is wrong because he broke the three main rules when you're a guest.
1. Didn't ask before coming over, he invited himself.
2. Asks to use OP's shit instead of being offered.
3. When denied his request, he whines about it.
OP is wrong because he's got no spine.
1. Thinks he owes the guy something for being given a bike.
2. it's nice of him to let him stay over unannounced once. After that the guy knows the OP is just gonna let him over just the same so he forces himself on the OP, inviting himself into parties. I get that he's lonely, but it's not appropriate behavior.
3. OP clearly does not want to be friends with this dude, he clearly does not appreciate this behavior of his, yet he asks "Neogaf, I want to do this but I can't do it, it seems too mean what do I do" all while this guy basically steps all over you and takes advantage of your goodwill.
But I think this has been beaten to death for now. Just tell him to stop coming over, and leave it at that and you'll be happier for it and so will you roommates.
Guy is wrong because he broke the three main rules when you're a guest.
1. Didn't ask before coming over, he invited himself.
2. Asks to use OP's shit instead of being offered.
3. When denied his request, he whines about it.
OP is wrong because he's got no spine.
1. Thinks he owes the guy something for being given a bike.
2. it's nice of him to let him stay over unannounced once. After that the guy knows the OP is just gonna let him over just the same so he forces himself on the OP, inviting himself into parties. I get that he's lonely, but it's not appropriate behavior.
3. OP clearly does not want to be friends with this dude, he clearly does not appreciate this behavior of his, yet he asks "Neogaf, I want to do this but I can't do it, it seems too mean what do I do" all while this guy basically steps all over you and takes advantage of your goodwill.
But I think this has been beaten to death for now. Just tell him to stop coming over, and leave it at that and you'll be happier for it and so will you roommates.
HeadlessRoland
Banned
He asked and was granted permission to crash at the OP's house. The OP has in no manner spoken any guidelines so that this "friend" has any fucking clue its not cool. See you can't get pissed about peoples behavior if you have not TOLD them that its a problem. The dude thinks they are friends because they act like his friends...its not his fault he doesn't know the score.
The OP's complaints are so petty and easily resolvable it even further cements the wrong.
The OP's complaints are so petty and easily resolvable it even further cements the wrong.
Stealth Editor
Member
The only think I occasionally ask for is a glass of water. That TV/XBox does not belong to me.Skeyser said:
With that said, if I dont get offered anything to make me comfortable, my opinion of the host lowers dramatically. Even if i dont need anything.
Both persons are clearly wrong here.
Gvaz said:
Maybe the shock that the OP was being a bitch?
"Can I use your Xbox" "No!" Is something that a fucking ten year old with a complex pulls off. In the real world grown ups, the kind you are supposed to see at college, are pretty chill about letting their friends use their shit.
Then again, I have company, I fucking OFFER to let them use my shit "Hey man you wanna play a game? Need a drink?" it is called being a host.
And what is worse is the OP sounds like the fucking creepy one in this more than this guy. You don't like him and instead of just confronting him you're chilling out on a fucking forum instead of dealing with it. You know how people say "its not you, its me?".. it is because most of the time it is the person saying it they just don't realize it.
A grown man who is afraid to let someone touch their toys is an embarrassing thing. And no, you don't owe the guy anything for a bike, but he gave you a damn bike and you acted like a child when he asked if he could chill and play a video game.
Gvaz said:
I used to be like that man, probably why I am so belligerent about it (Calling younger me out too)
Now I go "It is a physical object, replaceable, fuck it"
It sucks replacing it but I have learned how much more important people are than things over the years and it was the best lesson I have ever learned.
Edit: I have also reached a point where I don't dislike anyone. I appreciate everyone for their values and don't feel it is right to judge their faults when I have my own to begin with. The OP should learn to check his own closet before he judges others.
K
kittens
Unconfirmed Member
But the OP doesn't want that. It sounds like the dude is annoying and the OP doesn't want to hang out with him at all. If that's the case, OP should be politely tell the guy exactly that.Raiden said:
Just tell him he can't stay there anymore. The next time he comes you should allow him to stay since he thinks you're fine with it, then the next morning let him know that you wont have it anymore. Unless you see him beforehand. If you do tell him then.
If he becomes angry... Oh well. Don't let yourself be angonized by something you can easily control.
If he becomes angry... Oh well. Don't let yourself be angonized by something you can easily control.
Stealth Editor
Member
No, they both sound like awful people.bubnbob said:
freenudemacusers
Member
Between the texting, xbox and bike trade this could pass for a Teen Nick episode.
^^ is the annoying friend. sorry OP you are already dead.bubnbob said:
Sho_Nuff82
Member
Gvaz said:
Unless you're the kind of person who keeps all of his controllers in the original plastic wrapping, I don't see how letting someone play Xbox is stepping over some arbitrary host/guest etiquette barrier. Especially if it was right in front of the couch that he was sleeping on. If it was in someone's bedroom that would be different.
Also, he didn't invite himself to the party. He asked the hostess. That's the only person who needs to give the okay. If she thought he was creepy and didn't want him there, she could have said so. If you want to exclude people from your social gatherings, find new friends or throw your own party.
Ash Sparrow
Banned
I think the Op overreacted on the Xbox. I dont think the guy is creepy, just lonely.
Pull your balls out of your purse and be a man.
Tell him face to face, and do it together with your roomies if you need some back up. If he tries to rage then you guys can all fuck him up. Odds are he isn't going to do shit if you explain to him he just can't stay and sleep there.
Tell him face to face, and do it together with your roomies if you need some back up. If he tries to rage then you guys can all fuck him up. Odds are he isn't going to do shit if you explain to him he just can't stay and sleep there.
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