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Anyone else just not even remotely in love?

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Yeah, I had that realization a few months back. Not that I've ever been in love, but I haven't had a crush on anyone for a long time.
 
was in love for 10 years, broke up some months ago and now I couldn't care less about love.

maybe in 3 or 4 years I will believe in that kind of love and lifestyle again.

but so far, I am glad nobody gives a shit about me in regards to love feelings, I am very happy by myself.
 
Mariolee said:
I woke up this morning and realized that this is the first time in a long while I haven't been dating or crushing on someone. It feels odd to not really have a significant other in my life. On one hand I can get a lot of shit done, on the other hand it's almost as if not having someone to chase after leaves me feeling empty. Any of you Gaffers not really looking for anyone and how do you feel about it?
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yes. It actually feels terrible. I like being interested in someone and having that excitement in my life, and right now there is nobody. I've given up too. I'm 29 now and being the kind to fall in love has only ever brought me heartache.

Of my last few interests, two have had babies or are as good as married, and one dumped my ass - and judging by the lack of contact with the latter - she moved on and doesn't really care if we don't ever speak again. That's not unexpected and I'm trying to not let it upset me, but it is a perspective changing disappointment. To qualify that further, I'm not disappointed with her, I'm disappointed with myself, with my life, my genes, my lack of charisma, my poor judgement, everything that's led to all of this personal time wasting and failure.. I'm not depressed, I'm not down on myself, I actually like who I am most of the time and I think I do well with other people too. I think I am now living almost completely without hope and expectation. I feel more cynical. It feels healthier. It's kind of liberating.

I'm not shaving, I don't care about my appearance, I don't really care about socialising... I feel like everything is noise. Most people do my head in.

I care about a couple of close friends and my family. I care about my 3 year old nephew, he brings joy to any room, I can't be negative when he's here. I care about driving my car with some music on, when I'm on my own I sing. I care about my piano. I care about my camera. I enjoy pretty scenery and big open spaces free from idiots and feral youth. I enjoy playing videogames, I.enoy wearing my slippers and having the fire on. I enjoy my bed.

fuck everything else and fuck everyone else.
 
Haven't been with anyone in over 2 years. Not sure I even want to anymore, not sure I can even feel emotions toward another person.
 
radioheadrule83 said:
yes. It actually feels terrible. I like being interested in someone and having that excitement in my life, and right now there is nobody. I've given up too. I'm 29 now and being the kind to fall in love has only ever brought me heartache.

Of my last few interests, two have had babies or are as good as married, and one dumped my ass - and judging by the lack of contact with the latter - she moved on and doesn't really care if we don't ever speak again. That's not unexpected and I'm trying to not let it upset me, but it is a perspective changing disappointment. To qualify that further, I'm not disappointed with her, I'm disappointed with myself, with my life, my genes, my lack of charisma, my poor judgement, everything that's led to all of this personal time wasting and failure..

I'm not shaving, I don't care about my appearance, I don't really care about socialising... I feel like everything is noise. Most people do my head in.

I care about a couple of close friends and my family. I care about my 3 year old nephew, he brings joy to any room, I can't be negative when he's here. I care about driving my car with some music on, when I'm on my own I sing. I care about my piano. I care about my camera. I enjoy pretty scenery and big open spaces free from idiots and feral youth. I enjoy playing videogames, I.enoy wearing my slippers and having the fire on. I enjoy my bed.

fuck everything else and fuck everyone else.
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Listen man, you don't need to be disapointed at yourself or at your gene and watever, you probably just havent met the right person yet, you seem like a good person and you should focus more on yourself, trust me, its better to be alone than to someone who doesn't deserve you, improve yourself, with that anger and disapointement you cannot enjoy your life like you should.
Maybe im not the best person to give advice, but here's what I think, before you can be happy with someone else you need to be happy with yourself. Until then you cannot be trully happy.
also, sorry fo my bad english.
 
radioheadrule83 said:
yes. It actually feels terrible. I like being interested in someone and having that excitement in my life, and right now there is nobody. I've given up too. I'm 29 now and being the kind to fall in love has only ever brought me heartache.

Of my last few interests, two have had babies or are as good as married, and one dumped my ass - and judging by the lack of contact with the latter - she moved on and doesn't really care if we don't ever speak again. That's not unexpected and I'm trying to not let it upset me, but it is a perspective changing disappointment. To qualify that further, I'm not disappointed with her, I'm disappointed with myself, with my life, my genes, my lack of charisma, my poor judgement, everything that's led to all of this personal time wasting and failure..

I'm not shaving, I don't care about my appearance, I don't really care about socialising... I feel like everything is noise. Most people do my head in.

I care about a couple of close friends and my family. I care about my 3 year old nephew, he brings joy to any room, I can't be negative when he's here. I care about driving my car with some music on, when I'm on my own I sing. I care about my piano. I care about my camera. I enjoy pretty scenery and big open spaces free from idiots and feral youth. I enjoy playing videogames, I.enoy wearing my slippers and having the fire on. I enjoy my bed.

fuck everything else and fuck everyone else.
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do you still brush your teeth?
 
i love it when he's around, i long for him when he's gone. he makes me laugh, comforts me and buys me stuff. i make him food, clean up around him and i was his clothes.

i am in love, but not that type of love.

love you, dad :D
 
I feel like a bunch of people could do themselves some good just playing the field (whether hooking up or just not looking for a perm gf/bf) instead of trying to find their soulmate in every woman/man who shows a bit of interest.
 
I tried the whole love thing in the past and it bit me in the ass. I'm much more happy keeping relationships with women strictly physical and then enjoying the rest of my time by myself.
 
Psychological Intellect said:
do you still brush your teeth?
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Yeah, for my own sake
Devolution said:
I feel like a bunch of people could do themselves some good just playing the field (whether hooking up or just not looking for a perm gf/bf) instead of trying to find their soulmate in every woman/man who shows a bit of interest.
Click to expand...
I've had exciting flings and casual encounters, they can be nice, but without someone consistently fun and on your level, they seem equally a waste of time to me...
 
Haven't been in love in years, and even that was probably just a crush.

Don't think I've ever been in love. I'm still kinda young (mid 20s), but it's kind've disconcerting I've never really experienced love or any kind of relationship lasting more than a year.

Oh well, *forever alone*. And I'm okay with that. Being alone is fine with me. I like having time to myself. Maybe I'll look into this "love" thing when I'm in my 30s.
 
YoungHav said:
No such thing. The thing you're seeking is new pheromones to be ecstatic about.
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Physicalist reductionism is a pretty problematic position to take when accounting for the existence or "being-ness" of experiences, even if one agrees that experience is caused by physical processes. It still seems pretty absurd to deny the existence of experiential qualities when we're constantly in direct contact with them.
 
isuzu said:
I thought I'd never be in love but then my boyfriend showed up. Damn, you, dota >:|
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huh?


On Topic:
Yes I am in love. But loving feels different than having a crush on someone. When somone is the most important person in your life, you just know you would do anything for them.
But I think it's only possible if you know you can trust your partner completely. She will always be there for me. It's a good feeling.
 
Really depends on the state of my life. When I'm in a steady place and have a clear path I tend to be more open to relationships. I'm usually unsure of where my life is headed so I find it very hard for anyone to distract me most the time. When I fall for someone I usually fall hard, but otherwise I very rarely feel strongly about anyone.
 
I think I'm in love. The guy is nice enough but there doesn't seem to be a spark like I had with my ex. Feels bad coz I can definitely see a future with him. There's just no pizzazz.
 
demon said:
I'm not sure if I've ever actually been in love.
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kirblar said:
I've definitely crushed hard, but yeah, not sure if I've ever gotten to "the real phase"
Click to expand...

Same here. Though i'm not sure about that "hard" part.
Doesn't really bother me. I remember reading something about being in love being a kind of insanity, while loving is normal and good (don't ask details, read about it in some science magazine).
 
I know the feeling you speak of. What's weird though is that can be just a phase. It's neither a good phase or a bad phase - it is what it is.

However, once you get past that, you will be amazed that you fall in love with everyone. Or at least, that's how it went for me. Now I feel what I can only describe as "love" for tons of people all at once, even with my friends. It's strange, it's like when you have nobody to love you slowly love everyone. Sorry if this hardly makes sense. Hard to verbalize!
 
Haven't dated or even thought about dating anyone since the spring of this year. Feels good at times, bad at others, but in general I'm OK with it because it allows me to focus on other stuff.

It's weird because I've always been the kind of guy that falls really hard for a girl, but...there's no such girl in sight these days.

Can't tell if I've ever been in love though...
 
I honestly don't think I've ever been truly in love. And reading about the science behind being in love I think I'm kind of glad. And reading how people feel when they through a love disaster... yes, I'm most definitely glad.
 
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