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Anyone else just not even remotely in love?

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I'm not the kind of person that falls in love with anyone, my personality is very much against it, that said, i already have sOmeone and I like him a lot
 
Not only have I never been in-love, but I'm not sure if I actually love anyone. I'm fond of a few people, and care about the general well-being of many, but love? IDK.

Also, something weird has happened to me this year. My sex drive has largely gone away.

I now only feel randy a few days before my period.
 
I truly care for my ex. I do love her but not sure if it's being "in love" anymore. I would die for her though, because she was the only person that has been consistently there for me even now.

Currently, I do like a girl but nothing serious at all. It is hard for me to truly be attracted to somebody and trust them.
 
I've always thought of myself as someone who can fall in love easily, fully. And yet I draw into myself, trying to puzzle out my own enigmas. How can another person complete me when I'm not even sure who I am or where I end?

And the whole alone thing. As Fiona Apple sung, "How can I ask anyone to love me when all I want to do is beg to be left alone?"
 
I couldn't tell you.

I get attached to people quickly but I have no idea if its love. I'm pretty sure it isn't but I haven't been in that many relations.
 
Lv99 Slacker said:
I'm not on any medication.
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Does anything get you going? I know a woman that is virtually never horny without any external stimuli (smut, back rubs, etc).

This sort of thing does happen to be people (both men and women). It's not a problem unless it's a problem.


hardcastlemccormick said:
How can another person complete me when I'm not even sure who I am or where I end?
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Thinking about 'completing me' is paying too much heed to pop-culture ideas of love. The trick is to fall in love with someone you enjoy spending time with, just because.

hardcastlemccormick said:
"How can I ask anyone to love me when all I want to do is beg to be left alone?"
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Introverts can and do fall in love.

Az987 said:
I get attached to people quickly but I have no idea if its love. I'm pretty sure it isn't but I haven't been in that many relations.
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You'll know. Becoming utterly despondent when you break up is a good sign too, but most seem to know when it happens in the first place.
 
eN56e.gif
 
If I feel depressed I want nothing to do with sex.

If I'm not depressed all I think about sex.

Are you depressed, Lv99?
 
CrudeDiatribe said:
Does anything get you going? I know a woman that is virtually never horny without any external stimuli (smut, back rubs, etc).

This sort of thing does happen to be people (both men and women). It's not a problem unless it's a problem.
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Some literary erotica/visual smut can do it. It's not a problem now, but I feel like it might be if I ever felt ready to date someone. I definitely wasn't this way in my teens to early 20s.

Az987 said:
If I feel depressed I want nothing to do with sex.

If I'm not depressed all I think about sex.

Are you depressed, Lv99?
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No. I do have low self-esteem though. I've never dated anyone.
 
Lv99 Slacker said:
I feel like it might be if I ever felt ready to date someone. I definitely wasn't this way in my teens to early 20s.
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Don't worry about it. It may change. And if it doesn't it may cause a small amount of drama until it reaches cortex that you likely won't be interested in sex until the other party initiates. That's going to be age and experience dependant on their part even if you're forthright about it. Certainly not insurmountable. So to speak.
 
CrudeDiatribe said:
Thinking about 'completing me' is paying too much heed to pop-culture ideas of love. The trick is to fall in love with someone you enjoy spending time with, just because.
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I agree with this. And your successful relationship proves the point :)

I don't feel incomplete, and I don't want to lose my privacy and individuality. Ever. It's about sharing, not invading.
 
Only dated someone once, and that wasn't until I was 26. That lasted a couple years before it ended (she ended it, guessing she was cheating on me or wanting to end it before she did).

Now 32, haven't even looked for another. Don't care enough about sex to bother getting involved with someone for it. I'd rather play a computer game or watch a movie or just about anything else lol.

I love my parents I guess, but obviously a different sort of love from a significant other.
 
Yeah I feel like that because I don't like being manipulated by someone or be used.

I been hurt in the past and I just don't feel like falling in love anymore.

Oh well
 
CrudeDiatribe said:
Introverts can and do fall in love.
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Introvert love is the best love.

Lv99 Slacker said:
No. I do have low self-esteem though. I've never dated anyone.
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I have low self-esteem myself, but I get all sorts of turned on when I'm with someone who thinks I'm sexy and lets me know it. Otherwise, I don't feel much of anything on a day to day basis. Might not be the most healthy thing in the world, but it works for me.
 
Rm88~ said:
I don't feel incomplete, and I don't want to lose my privacy and individuality. Ever. It's about sharing, not invading.
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I think privacy is much harder unless you have a partner that is interested in the same thing. I can't really wrap my head around that wish though; I'm not an introvert (perhaps you aren't, I just associate that with introverts). I don't deliberately hold anything back from my partner; I hold blessedly little back from others. She is an introvert, and trust was very difficult for her at first.


Lissar said:
Introvert love is the best love.
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I certainly don't turn it down. Important for extroverts to read Caring For Your Introvert.

Lissar said:
I have low self-esteem myself, but I get all sorts of turned on when I'm with someone who thinks I'm sexy and lets me know it. Otherwise, I don't feel much of anything on a day to day basis. Might not be the most healthy thing in the world, but it works for me.
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If it's not a problem, it's not a problem.
 
CrudeDiatribe said:
Thinking about 'completing me' is paying too much heed to pop-culture ideas of love. The trick is to fall in love with someone you enjoy spending time with, just because.
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So much this. Even the most mundane task like Grocery Shopping isn't a chore if you're doing it with them. To me that's pretty much love.
 
Bomber Bob said:
I find other people boring, can't fall in love :(
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Ditto. I'm in a very strange stage where I'm just very, very satisfied with being single. It's not even settling with being single. I'm 100% comfortable and happy with being single, because I'm already taking on a full load with everything else in my life.

SolKane said:
I think early unrequited love is a bad lesson in relationships.
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Maybe that has something to do with it. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but my "unrequited love" is pretty much a sister to me, now. Mentally, she's inside the family zone for me. The road getting to that point was turbulent as hell, but I think it was for the better in that it gave me some much needed perspective, and played a major part in me coming to terms with myself, becoming a much more mature person, and learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

Sometimes, I think feeling like you're having your heart ripped out is a great way to clean the grime from your eyes and get a fresh perspective on things.
 
You are 17. This is not weird at all and it is weird as hell to think that you are the only one as well.
 
Fell in love in HS and lost her when I hit college. It changed me for the better because I hit a low point emotionally and came out stronger.

I'm 27 now and have been in real, true love 5 times since then. I'm currently in love with my gf of 5+ years and feel like I've grown into a pretty great 'man' in the relationship-sense.

Yay, growth.
 
I truly honestly do not care. I show so little interest in the opposite sex in terms of love that once upon a time my friends speculated that I was gay, lol.

I do love my girl friends in a platonic way, but romantic love? Ehhhhh

I'm sure it can be pretty awesome but the feeling never came to me. Some girls showed interest but I wasn't really willing to date when I didn't feel anything more than friendship. Felt like it'd be lying to them.
 
demon said:
I'm not sure if I've ever actually been in love.
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Ditto. Perhaps I'm mildly sociopathic or a little somewhere on that autism spectrum. Who knows? All I know is that I've dated, was in a 2 year plus relationship, have sex every few weeks, spend lots of time with friends and such, keep a fairly heavy social calendar despite being far away from my various friend groups, et al. But I have never fallen in love. My last crush was about three decades ago.

There are two things I really want in the social world: To be best friends with everybody, everywhere, and to have fun sex pretty often. The two aren't mutually exclusive, and I don't understand the middle ground where the person you have sex with becomes a sort of "super friend" which diminishes your connections with others in comparison. I have no drama issues regarding having sex with friends, I have no problem if someone that I've had sex with is (safely) having sex with somebody else. People around me consider me a very social party person (I consider myself a rather introverted person who forcefully expands into the social sphere in order to self-improve and to gain new experiences, which I've considered to be pretty important on a sort of rationalised level).

I feel like I'll be missing an important part of life, but what kind of horrible person would (for instance) get married and have children without actually being in love with their spouse?

So, as you can see, I'm pretty messed up and deserve being on NeoGAF.
 
Relix said:
Damn don't think this way.

Quick question, do not take it wrong, are you overweight? This seems to be a major factor in this line of thinking that you have. I am overweight and I still do well dating. I gotta work twice as hard sometimes but it generally works.
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I know you weren't addressing me, but I wish I had weight as an excuse. I am of an average build, and yet I am still alone and still a virgin. For me, weight has never been an issue. It is my personality that keeps me alone, as well as my massive lack of confidence.

Pkm said:
My buddy is kind of like this.

He's 33, not bad looking, I mean he isnt a hunk but he isnt repulsive.
He has a great job, lots of money, great personality etc..

Yet, he doesnt "try" to find anyone. Not for dates, sex, companion etc.. He is happy it seems working, going to the gym, wacking off and smoking a little pot from time to time.

In Highschool he had crushes, on super model type girls...NEVER worked out of course he always got friend zoned, but he never even tried for girls more "our level". After highschool he just "stopped" looking or trying.

We actually had to get him shit face drunk for him to lose his virginity when he was 23. Had a slutty, sexy girl who wanted to fuck him but he just wouldnt acknowledge her till we got him plastered.
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I wish I'd had friends that could have fixed me up. Pfft. Reaching 27 and being in my boat feels like a bad dream. OP should think himself lucky, or rather; 'normal'.
 
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