For me finding a woman that didn't want kids was incredible hard when I was 26-29, is like all the women I met thought I was their last train to get married and settle down, but now is like all those women have been filtered (or catch their real last train) and now I encounter a lot of women that share my feelings about that, I feel kinda like a teenager again lol.
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Anyone else prefer the bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle?
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For me finding a woman that didn't want kids was incredible hard when I was 26-29, is like all the women I met thought I was their last train to get married and settle down, but now is like all those women have been filtered (or catch their real last train) and now I encounter a lot of women that share my feelings about that, I feel kinda like a teenager again lol.
soul creator
Member
I've sort of found a nice middle ground that I enjoy. Solid core group of mostly like-minded lady friends that I love and adore, but still technically "single" and living alone. No kids either
I could possibly see marriage in my future, but I honestly see that as a purely financial decision, secondary to love and all that. And it would probably have to be an open marriage, lol.
and I'm snipped
I could possibly see marriage in my future, but I honestly see that as a purely financial decision, secondary to love and all that. And it would probably have to be an open marriage, lol.
That's exactly where I'm at. Not the house part yet, but I'm focused on improving myself and my own pursuits and don't care to get involved at the moment. I'm happy where I'm at. Both my older siblings had kids by this point in their lives, one of them married by then, so my parents are starting to expect it which doesn't help things.
BroggieDoge
Member
I'm 25 I used to want the family life down the road but the more and more I think on it I think I'm too selfish for kids. Still on the fence about marriage. But the kid thing.... Not sure. My attitude toward them is changing.
daemissary
Member
I prefer the bachelor lifestyle over being with someone just for the sake of not being alone.
I have a ton of friends who have settled and gotten married purely because they feel like they "need" to be in a relationship. I just find that to be profoundly sad.
My hierarchy goes: Being with a girl who is relatively awesome in every way > Bachelor Lifestyle > Being with a girl who is not awesome but not terrible just so I can have an excuse to watch Nashville.
I have a ton of friends who have settled and gotten married purely because they feel like they "need" to be in a relationship. I just find that to be profoundly sad.
My hierarchy goes: Being with a girl who is relatively awesome in every way > Bachelor Lifestyle > Being with a girl who is not awesome but not terrible just so I can have an excuse to watch Nashville.
For me, I always end up meeting someone when I'm not actively looking for someone. It's as if they know that you're not looking and instead are just bettering yourself and it shows and that's when the flock comes.
Happened on more than one occurrence.
Looking for relationships? Nada. No results.
Not looking or pursuing? End up meeting someone.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
As a bachelor in my early 30s and with no debt, life is GOOD.
Shit, I don't know what more I could ask for. I'm not saying that I wouldn't leave this life if I found the right girl, but so far I can't see her in the horizon and I'm having way too much fun. I'm not missing shit.
- I'm not a capricious person (actually, I'd consider myself rather thrifty), but I can treat myself whenever I want.
- The confidence that comes from being 100% independent and financially safe is INCREDIBLE. I can see how this could be different for some other people, though, life can be rough and nobody is safe from unemployment.
- Night out? Night out. I don't have to ask for permission, think of the kids, deal with "suspicious" girly headaches or pissy moods other than mines.
- I eat what I want. I diet, and I diet hardcore. No way I could do it with wife and kids.
- Finding that you can still pull tail 10 years younger than you never gets old. Rubbing it into your formerly party loving, but now engaged and puffy friends also makes for good fun.
- This may sound odd, but I found that I'm neater and more organised when I live alone and I have to clean my own mess.
Shit, I don't know what more I could ask for. I'm not saying that I wouldn't leave this life if I found the right girl, but so far I can't see her in the horizon and I'm having way too much fun. I'm not missing shit.
Boozeroony
Member
As someone in his late 20s I can only agree.
Two reasons why this happens:
When you are busy with bettering yourself or working on something else you will be more confident. The other reason is that when you are not interested in a relationship you will be less desperate and insecure about it.
I did it for my entire 20s and lived a fast, fun life.. loved every minute. Gave all of it up, every fucking bit of it the second I met my wife. I watched friends pass up grade A women thinking they could be single forever, only to dread those decisions later in their 30s when all the single girls have serious baggage and all the good ones were snatched up by other guys.
So party hard, be wild, be free but don't blink an eye when you meet someone special. They are rare, and almost non existent later in life. Time is not on your side when it comes to the pool of great partners.
So party hard, be wild, be free but don't blink an eye when you meet someone special. They are rare, and almost non existent later in life. Time is not on your side when it comes to the pool of great partners.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
This made me smile. The only thing I don't have going here is the tail. That's probably the only thing that I get down about, being single. Otherwise it's nice.
zephervack
Member
Same boat here, and this is the truth, this guy knows how it should be, once you settle down you will complain for sure, God and my friends know I do, but in the end I would never change it for the best pussy in the world.
entremet
Member
I remember your break up thread. Glad to see you're doing well.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
YOU GET TO WANK WHEN YOU WANT.
Just ponder it for a minute.
Just ponder it for a minute.
entremet
Member
I never said anything about not dating. I'm just talking about not settling down, i.e. living with someone or getting married anytime soon.
Thanks dude. I'm doing great 99% of the time. The 1% I miss my ex I think about how she chose another guy over me, regardless of what I did, and treated me shitty afterwards so she can get lost.
I lost over 25 pounds, got stronger, started jiu Jitsu, starting my own clothing line, made more friends, go to more concerts, go on dates... Life is good.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Ah, that leftover bitterness... make sure you keep it in the 1% and later in life it will turn into golden wisdom.
Fair enough.
This is worrisome. When does the pool really start to shrink? At what point are you better off working the divorcee pool?
This is also something I miss. A nice, long, romantic evening with myself.
Christopher
BDE (Big Dad Energy)
My wife is my best friend you don't understand how good it feels to come home to a non empty house and no someone's always there who wil so anything for me
Head of Vengarl
Banned
I'm kind of in the middle of both lifestyles right now. I have a long-term girlfriend, but we live nearly 2 hours apart and only see each other on weekends. So during the week I basically live like a bachelor and have all the time to myself, but during the weekends I'm going out with her and doing relationship stuff. I prefer having a girlfriend to not having one, but when we move in together I can definitely see myself missing some of the freedoms of being left to my own devices.
Once you've had a long relationship, you think you can never live alone. Then you break up and do and hate it and then eventually the ball and chain of a relationship is so much more prevelant. I guess I am spoiled because my best friend and I have a serious bromance and I have a girl to confide in about all the shit you need to talk to girls about, so I have filled the roles my ex played with other people and myself pretty easily. I'm lucky. Od people are insecure and lonely.
UltimaKilo
Gold Member
I jumped out of a year-long relationship in August, to another in September. Somehow, this girl is now living with me. She's everything most guys want, but I kinda wish I was single. There are so many beautiful women in Miami and I'm 26. I can see wanting to settle down sometime in your 30s, but right now I can't... 
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Being gorgeous, tall and naturally charming goes a long way. For the rest of us, I strongly suggest to hit the gym. You get to know people and with some real effort you will look better in just a few months. Also, it actually gives you physical and mental energy. For a good while I was married to my job. It sucked my soul and turned me into a sad, pathetic hermit without life and no aim besides earning money. As soon as I dropped some bad clients and made some space for myself the first thing I did was to return to my old gym and take a bite out of the dumbbells. Now I feel more confident, outgoing and social, on top of looking considerably better, even if my weight has remained almost the same. Chicks don't dig the flab. Also, a gut/double chin will make you look older.
In my personal experience (keep in mind that I'm not American and we marry older over here) things start getting bad around 25 or so, when most people know what I call their last and final partner. It becomes super rough around 27 and then an outright disaster at 30. Sure, there are some nice, single women of my age out there, but they are incredibly hard to find. This is going to sound mysoginistic as hell, but most single girls over 30 are rather homely/fat and/or carry some ugly, ugly baggage*. Many divorcees fit in the latter category, so watch out. As for myself, I've decided to fish strictly in the kiddie pool.
*bachelorettes, feel free to pile on.
Yup. It sucks, but what can I do? Apart from getting a life, I mean.
Absolutely. I hook up with girls but nothing serious. I love doing what I want, when I want. Travel when I want. Eat whatever the fuck I want. If I wanna hang out tonight; I will. I also have no one yelling at me for working the whole day or sitting a few hours to play video games. Its perfect. Not saying I will never settle down, but right now... all is very damn good. I can take risks; I can have all the fun I want, etc. Thankfully I am not a emotional/sentimental guy... sleeping alone is not an issue, hell its perfect! I hog my queen sized bed and wouldn't want it any other way!
scar tissue
Banned
Yep. I dunno if I prefer living alone, as I've never lived with another person (apart from my parents as a kid/teenager obviously).
zephervack
Member
ITT: People that have never been in a stable relationship give opinion about being in a stable relationship and people that have actually been in a stable relationship saying that they would rather be in one than alone.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
ITP: Assumptions.
Grinchy
Banned
I like some of the things a relationship brings. Familiarity, openness, ect. I just don't like other aspects. I don't like when a girl I'm dating starts emulating the behaviors she saw from bad network sitcom wives because she wants to convince herself she's in what she thinks a serious relationship is supposed to be. I don't like having to pretend I give a shit about holidays like Sweetest Day. I don't like the fake shit.
storafötter
Member
I like sharing things with a significant other. I find it superior, but I did not mind being single aslong as I had friends and family to hang out with. I would not let marriage ruin for my habits but then again I dont really have that demanding habits. I am a very relaxed person. I agree with what some people are saying in here that children would probably make things different.
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