Support NeoGAF

[pablito]

My wife and I don't want kids. If it happened we wouldn't freak out or anything, but we just really don't want to devote the little free time and money we have to a kid.

 

[chaosblade]

Even as a joke, this isn't funny.

It's not a joke. I've been around kids my whole life due to having some much younger siblings and then a nephew I see frequently. I just don't have the patience to deal with them. My family knows this, and they don't leave my nephew with me because of it.

God forbid having a kid anything like myself. I was a fucking terror.

 

[thelatestmodel]

Yes, my girlfriend and I have decided not to have them.

We would rather be better off financially, have more time, and just have a couple of dogs. Neither of us want to be responsible for a person / people for the rest of our lives (I in particular would have trouble with the increased anxiety), and we both agree that the world we're leaving behind for them is going to face a lot of difficult challenges through climate change, overpopulation, automation, and so on.

 

[LegendofLex]

I'd be happy with a kid.

But I'm also happy without a kid, and I know that having a kid would stress my wife out to no end (she has severe depression and anxiety), and that on top of climate change coming to fuck us all if we don't clamp down our consumption is incentive enough to keep me from adding to the population.

 

[Raigan5088]

That's the plan. Purely for selfish reasons. Don't give a fuck.

Its more selfish to have kids if you don't want them

Good for you

 

[yrba1]

Don't mind kids, would love to have one but working a full 8 hour shift (not including the 90-120 min round-trip commute) makes it difficult to convince me. I can see it being feasible if working part-time hours with good pay, job security along with a good temperament.

Also have a questionable outlook on humanity as well, fear the idea of bringing a kid in this rather piece of shit world. Also loathe the way most parents objectify their kids as grandchildren makers.

 

[Pagusas]

My wife and I use to feel this was, but I'm turning 32 this year and something just clicked in both of our heads that a child would be nice to have. Usually a trip to Walmart can instantly snap us back to the reality of "holy shit children are vial disgusting evil creatures" but lately even that is changing. I'm a little in shock that the "biological clock" appears to be a real thing

 

[NervousXtian]

Don't mind kids, would love to have one but working a full 8 hour shift (not including the 90-120 min round-trip commute) makes it difficult to convince me. I can see it being feasible if working part-time hours with good pay, job security along with a good temperament.

Also have a questionable outlook on humanity as well, fear the idea of bringing a kid in this rather piece of shit world. Also loathe the way most parents objectify their kids as grandchildren makers.

Couple things to this line of thinking. What the fuck are you even working for really?

Second, of course your parents want grandkids.. too bad their kid loathes them for doing what they did.

 

[DontBeThatGuy]

Thankfully, yes. I'm content with being an awesome uncle.

 

[Northeastmonk]

My step dad never liked kids. He made sure that he'd never have any of his own. That didn't leave a good impression on me because I always liked kids. However, I'm married now and my wife has a child. I took some parenting courses to help myself out.

I was jealous of the child. I wasn't prepared for parenthood. I wasn't given time to adapt to sharing a home with another person, especially one who requires so much attention. Well, I am a nice person, but it is hard at times.

My wife wants to have a child, but we've only been married for 6 months. I feel like an ass saying I want to hold off because we just got freaking married. I talked to a therapist and she asked if I hated kids. I was like "wtf, this horrible stigma is now my reality!?". It made me mad.

I don't know what it is exactly. It is difficult. I don't want to have problems in marriage because of timing. I get told that I'm selfish and I know I am. It's just hard to know you're selfish, enjoying it, but also needing to change it.

 

[siddx]

Wife and I are child free and plan to stay that way. We are teachers and we love kids but when we get home from school the last thing in the world we want to do is take care of more children. I am hairline deep in the emotional, mental, and physical well being of 22 kids five days a week. That's more than enough for me.
We are also selfish with our money and would rather spend on ourselves. We also travel extensively and don't want the added stress and drama of having to accommodate for children. We enjoy being on our schedule and living life at our own speed.
And lastly we think there are far too many people on earth and not contributing to that is a good thing. We would never presume oyou tell people not to have kids at all, but we do find people who have tons of kids to be destructive and unfair to the rest of society.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

I plan on never having children for a number of reasons.

I don't really like them.
I don't want the responsibility.
I don't want to spend the time and money necessary to raise them.
The idea of enduring a pregnancy and giving birth is gross and terrifying to me.
I have shitty genetics.

And so on. I do hope to have many dogs in my future, though.

 

[boiled goose]

That's the plan. Purely for selfish reasons. Don't give a fuck.

Huh? What's unselfish about making a little mini me because you want to?

(Unless you adopt)



Also child free so far. Little interest

 

[xxracerxx]

It's not a joke. I've been around kids my whole life due to having some much younger siblings and then a nephew I see frequently. I just don't have the patience to deal with them. My family knows this, and they don't leave my nephew with me because of it.

God forbid having a kid anything like myself. I was a fucking terror.

Talking about beating the shit out of kids, though? Come on.

 

[Muffin1611]

I really don't care if I ever get kids, and my girlfriend fucking hates kids.

So yeah, we'll get cats instead.

 

[Yaboosh]

Talking about beating the shit out of kids, though? Come on.

No.... Talking about avoiding beating the shit out of kids.

 

[FinalStageBoss]

No kids now but my gf wants kids in the future, so I'm not against it. Kids are great tbh.

 

[Not]

My fear is the only reason I would have a kid would be for selfish reasons.

Like, to make me into some kind of authority or to have a new experience offered to me.

Is it worth it to bring a whole new person into existence just to possibly enhance my own life?

 

[GasProblem]

I'm gay. Adoption or having a surrogate mother both have way too many downsides for me to consider, and having two dads wouldn't make the life of that child any easier.

That said, I barely get by on my own. Luckily I have a niece and nephew that I babysit from time to time. I gave bottles, I've changed diapers, watched Teletubbies and Dora etc and I'm glad I've experienced and am still experiencing that. I'm fine being a cool uncle

 

[LinkAndEpona]

I don't think I want to have a child that shares my genes. Just don't like the direction humankind & the future of Earth is going, see no reason to bring another human being into such uncertain future. If I ever decide to raise a kid, I'll adopt. Rather at least give some kid in need a (possibly) slightly better life vs. bring more people on this already vastly overpopulated world.

No need to beat yourself up though it is 100% better to adopt, especially if your genes can possibly pass down hereditary diseases. Though of course that may mean being selective of a child to adopt which is an entirely different ethics issue...

In any case, if you're concerned for the future as in the environment, well there's nothing more beneficial for mother Earth than to have less humans using up resources and generating pollution.

 

[gwarm01]

32 years old, married 10 years, no children. I don't identify as "childfree" but I don't want children. There is not great philosophy behind it, I just don't want kids. I like my life the way it is. All off the other benefits are just a nice bonus.

 

[Retro]

My wife and I are both 35 and agreed before we were married (6 years now, though we've been together for nearly 10 and known each other for nearly 20) we wanted to be childfree.

Not only do we like our current lifestyle, but her parents are both in poor health and we're spending an increasing amount of time taking care of them (driving them around, running errands, etc.); if we had kids we'd be sandwiched between them.

We have friends who have kids and we enjoy spending time with them (and yes, "them" includes the kid), but we just don't want that kind of lifestyle for us personally. We're fine being the cool uncle / aunt or godparents for a while and then sending them off with mom and dad.

We have two wonderful, well-behaved cats, however.

 

[Astral Dog]

Im think about it from time to time, having a kid is not only a big responsibility but sometimes i feel like i wouldn't know how support and teache him, being Gay in a very conservative family/town doesn't help things. And finally i never thought it was the "moral" thing to do, don't we have enough people and needed children already? Why do i have to bring another if i can't guarantee he is going to have a good future on this Earth? Maybe i can do something with my own life that helps others while also learn to help myself be a better person?

Having a family is one of the most beautiful experiences in the world, but i don't believe its for everyone necessarily so idk

 

[Toad.T]

Having a child in my eyes is the last step in becoming society's bitch. The world tells you what you need to do and say, and all the standard advice given by more experienced folks points toward that. You can have a rewarding life without kids, even without a SO if you want. You don't need to have progeny if you feel your genes aren't worth passing on in the first place. Plus there's concerns about money/enviromental impact that I personally don't want to touch.

So for me I wouldn't want kids, or at the very least, kids born of my genes. I just don't see the appeal of it. We have so little time on this earth, why spend at least 18 years adding on to the problems of the world?

(I know these are common responses to this topic and can be seen as selfish, but this is what I feel.)

 

[J_Viper]

I'm 23, but I'll be getting a vasectomy as soon as I'm able to. I have zero interest in kids.

My family, as they are now, already drive me fucking insane. I don't need to add to that.

 

[kevo_huevo]

My wife and I are both 31 and we've decided not to have kids. We've worked hard to pay for our own wedding ($$$$$$$) and to get to where we are professionally, and we want to dedicate more time to travel and other experiences. We might be open to adopting much later on, but for now we're living that DINK life indefinitely.

 

[ColdPizza]

As a father of 2 beautiful children, I don't think any of you who choose to forego children are being selfish at all. It's a personal choice. If anything, you all could argue that I'm the selfish one by using up more resources, or bringing innocents into this shitshow.

 

[StayDead]

Even if I wanted kids I doubt I'll even be able to get into a relationship with anyone, let alone have kids.

I guess it's a rewarding experience when you actually do it, but damn the thought of having kids makes me queesy. They take up 90% of your life when you're not at work. There's a guy at work with a 1 year old and outside of work he gets no time to himself/his wife and I'm not sure I could handle that.

 

[PaulBizkit]

I'm 28 and don't have kids yet. But I really want to have my own family at some point (in the early future i mean, not when Im 40). I don't have expensive tastes and I don't have problems with making economic sacrifices.

But I don't want to have them in Argentina (south america). Having a DAUGHTER in a third world country is asking for a life of stress... however, if i lived in japan or europe it would be a whole lot less stressful.

Having kids is not for everybody, specially in this day and age.

 

[Kthulhu]

I think I'd be a terrible father. Better than some, but still not good.

I also don't want to give up the freedom that not having children gives me.

 

[Teggy]

Married for 10 years, wife is 38. Not 100% decided (no surgery) but pretty much. We're just not the parenting type. I feel bad about not giving my dogs enough attention at times.

Having an adult child is something I will probably envy at some point, but the 20 years required to get there I'm sure I won't.

 

[Indelible]

Not looking to have children anytime soon, still trying to figure out what I'am going to do with the rest of my life.

 

[riotous]

The "selfish" thing is just a poorly worded adage; "not having kids for selfish reasons" is mostly just meant as "I am too selfish therefor I shouldn't have children."

I don't think many people actually think it's selfish to not have children; maybe some bored mothers and fathers who want to have grandkids.

 

[Demoskinos]

Is not having kids really "selfish"? Better you know what you're getting yourself into than bringing a life into this world you're not prepared to help grow and nourish.

 

[Yaboosh]

I'm 23, but I'll be getting a vasectomy as soon as I'm able to. I have zero interest in kids.

My family, as they are now, already drive me fucking insane. I don't need to add to that.

Planned parenthood can help you find a willing doctor if you're in the US.

 

[ffdgh]

I'll pass on kids. That's a responsibility I know I can't handle.

 

[Meliora]

I like kids and work with kids but don't want any of my own.

 

[John Kowalski]

I'll never have a child because I really don't think I'll like prison.

Are you planning on eating the mother's head or what

 

[Famassu]

this is problematic / faulty logic.

every western civilized nation is facing severely problematic scenarios in the next century thanks to alarmingly fast population shrinkage.

ie - western countries aren't having enough kids

it's developing nations whose populations will continue to grow exponentially and destroy the planet.

not that that necessarily changes anything for you, but i always feel the need to pipe up when people say these things because we are literally not having enough babies in the western developed world.

The workforce problem can be (& should be) solved with immigration.

And no, developing nations do far less to destroy the planet than us westerners. The average European causes much more harm to the planet with their living habits (eating tons of meat, driving cars, consuming electronics like they are candy etc.) than a vast majority of people in developing nations who live relatively modest lives. A lot of the pollution in developing countries is caused by them trying to satisfy our needs (producing electronics, clothes, environmentally harmful foods etc.). We basically outsource our shit to developing countries.

 

[Exile20]

Never new I wanted one until I actually had one. She is just too precious. Life without her would not be as fun.

 

[yrba1]

Couple things to this line of thinking. What the fuck are you even working for really?

Second, of course your parents want grandkids.. too bad their kid loathes them for doing what they did.

Work in customer service. Dealing with people who are susceptible to inflammatory responses already exhausts me. Would reconsider once an opportunity for a favorable career comes in long-term but I'm doubtful it would since I actually enjoy putting my time and money to myself

Nothing wrong with wanting grandkids, just the way some parents pressure you into conceiving them regardless of the consequences, financially and emotionally.

 

[PaulloDEC]

29 with no kids, and no burning desire to have any. I didn't grow up around small children and I really just find them difficult and unpleasant to deal with now.

I always figured people like me start to feel differently once they've been in a long-term relationship for a while. So I guess I'll wait and see if that ever happens?

 

[riotous]

Second, of course your parents want grandkids...

My father abandoned 2 of his children for most of their lives, other than a few brief stints when they were adults. The other 3 of us he has gone many years at a time without talking to us, then maybe re-appears. My Mother was really cold, and outright told my brother's pregnant wife that she wasn't going to be doing any baby sitting.

It is common of course for many people to want grandkids, or if they do, that doesn't mean they'll be good grandparents; but I don't see why anyone should feel obligated. Nor does it suddenly mean their kid loathes them.

 

[Toad.T]

I do have nurturing tendencies however. I spend a bit on my niece and try to raise her up to be a well rounded person, which feels like the best of both worlds, IMO.

 

[Risible]

Edit: lol... the number of salty comments from people with kids in here.

Care to elaborate? I haven't seen one salty parent in here. Not sure what you are on about...

 

[draetenth]

Of course, did you really think there wouldn't be any at all on a place with so many visitors?

 

[Ron Mexico]

37, divorced with no kids, engaged to a wonderful woman who is also divorced with no kids (although she raised 2 from her ex-husband's first marriage). The prospects of children came up before we really became serious--we are both in unanimous agreement that we don't want children to the point it would have been a deal breaker.

As for why--it's almost impossible to put into words. I feel like there's an instinct, a feeling, something that says "this is what I want to do". I've never had that. Neither has she. The thought of children is so foreign to us to the point it's just...awkward for the lack of a better term.

We've been called selfish amongst a handful of other things, told we'd change our minds, that it would change if we did have our own, that I have to keep the family name, etc etc. You name the reason, common to batshit crazy, and we've heard it. Doesn't change a thing.

It's not for monetary reasons, nor health reasons, nor some overarching philosophy. Just that X factor not being there.

And while his has been a part of me my entire life, one of my closest friends just had a scenario where his wife essentially held the marriage for ransom because she wanted a baby. He loves his daughter, of that I have no doubt, but he's completely miserable because the only thing he wanted less than children is losing his first love.

 

[Attack You]

I like kids, and I've wanted one of my own for the longest time. I may adopt. I don't want a partner undermining every unorthodox approach I may have to raising the little hellion, and SO's can be hardcore QoL pushers (not that they're wrong for it).

 

[MrOogieBoogie]

Still pretty indifferent to the idea of having children. Doesn't help that 95% of the people I surround myself with (many of whom are older) don't have or don't plan to have children.

But man, how can some of you vehemently hate children? That's the only thing I find weird.

 

[kamakazi5]

Yeah, it kind of sucks though because I don't want them at all but my wife doesn't want me to get a vasectomy. She says she doesn't want kids either but that she may one day. I told her it's something I won't bend on though and I don't want an accident.