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Being an adult sucks sometimes...

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thetrin said:
I'm single, 26 years old, I have a fulfilling job, and on the weekend, I drink lots of alcohol and play video games with my friends.

My life fucking rules.

The lesson here is simple: being single fucking owns.
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Not necessarily. There are plenty of single people who are in a rut in life. You can only party so many times before it gets boring. Trust me, I know. Enjoy it while you can. At some point you should want to move on to something else. If not, you can end up like the 40-50 year olds at the local bar looking for young trim to play sugar daddy to.

I am single, 36, have my own house, a dog, a good job, date alot of women, but it is just the same thing everyday. Responsibility has a way of sapping spontaneity out of life.
 
Outcast2004 said:
Here I sit... 30 yrs old, happily married, great 2 yr old daughter who's the best thing in my life... and yet I feel so.... blah.

I have a steady job, as does my wife. We make decent money, have a fairly respectable amount left over every month. And for some reason... it never feels like enough.

I look at my bank account, the bills are all up to date. Never late, always accounted for and have a couple hundred spending to last for a whopping 4 days (I get paid every week)... and yet I'm freaking out. Feeling depressed and contemplating a second job which would take me away from my little girl even more than I am now.

I don't get it, life is pretty good. I know I'm incredibly blessed compared to most of the city I live in and yet still doesn't feel like enough. Only recently has this irrational pani set in occasionally.

Guess I'm just having a Debbie Downer day :(
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I think you should see this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4
 
Ptaaty said:
I am reading your post and I can't believe how accurate it is. I basically did do everything and met all my main goals. It is almost like everything is too comfortable and easy at this point as well.
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All of my friends and I are entering our forties, so I got to watch this play out in most of their lives. Half of us have changed careers, and the rest had some sort of breakdown, whether that was divorce, cheating, mental breakdown, or some other crazy thing that they now have to repair.

I flipped out, bailed on my career, and am now starting my second career, but I stayed with the wife and didn't cheat, so I figure I came out pretty well.
 
I dunno, being an adult rocks. I get to stay up late, watch dirty movies and drink beer.

Oh wait you got married?

Oooops!





















::is gonna cry in his lonely pillow tonight::
 
You're the guy from that is it low T commercials. Have you tried going to the gym?
 
Outcast2004 said:
I dont drink or smoke or dope, etc)
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Too easy to make a comment on that.

But anyway, you have a woman who you love and who loves you, a darling child and enough money coming in to pay the bills and allow the odd treat.

And yet you feel unfulfilled?

Well, are you going to take up an extreme sport? How about going to the local cat and dog home, finding the cage with the most depraved devil dog in it and dropping your trousers.

Pull out your peen, rub some meat paste over the end, stick it through the bars and play "bite or lick" with Fido. That should give you the thrills you are looking for.

Alternatively you could always hug your daughter goodnight and then get in bed with your wife.

What you have now is as good as life gets. Be happy.
 
besada said:
All of my friends and I are entering our forties, so I got to watch this play out in most of their lives. Half of us have changed careers, and the rest had some sort of breakdown, whether that was divorce, cheating, mental breakdown, or some other crazy thing that they now have to repair.
I flipped out, bailed on my career, and am now starting my second career, but I stayed with the wife and didn't cheat, so I figure I came out pretty well.
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Thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
 
pootle said:
Too easy to make a comment on that.

But anyway, you have a woman who you love and who loves you, a darling child and enough money coming in to pay the bills and allow the odd treat.

And yet you feel unfulfilled?

Well, are you going to take up an extreme sport? How about going to the local cat and dog home, finding the cage with the most depraved devil dog in it and dropping your trousers.

Pull out your peen, rub some meat paste over the end, stick it through the bars and play "bite or lick" with Fido. That should give you the thrills you are looking for.

Alternatively you could always hug your daughter goodnight and then get in bed with your wife.

What you have now is as good as life gets. Be happy.
Click to expand...

Wealth is relative to desire; if this guy wants something more he can't just switch something on and start feeling rich.

OP you need to really try and identify what you're not happy with in your life. It might simply be curbing that expectation that life was going to be something more.
 
dskillzhtown said:
Not necessarily. There are plenty of single people who are in a rut in life. You can only party so many times before it gets boring. Trust me, I know. Enjoy it while you can. At some point you should want to move on to something else. If not, you can end up like the 40-50 year olds at the local bar looking for young trim to play sugar daddy to.

I am single, 36, have my own house, a dog, a good job, date alot of women, but it is just the same thing everyday. Responsibility has a way of sapping spontaneity out of life.
Click to expand...
It doesn't sound like you have a lot of responsibility, to me. No wife or kids to worry about, seem to have money. Do you not take your holidays or something?
 
thetrin said:
The lesson here is simple: being single fucking owns.
Click to expand...


I agree with you. I'm 29 and all I see are my friends and their marriages coming to an end. They're devastated because of how much they invested, emotionally and financially. People seem to get married because they think that's what they're supposed to do; that's a horrible mistake to make.
 
I can kind of relate at times. I don't have a family and I'm on the cusp of getting my first real job, but I have a great girlfriend who I'm going to marry some day, a loving, supporting family, and the few friends I have I value.

But damn, that doesn't stop life from getting you down. I'm the kind of person who needs constant mental stimulation or else I get bored. When I'm bored, I get depressed because I have nothing to do. Then when I find something to do, I don't want to do it because boredom leads to laziness. Then I realize that I'm being a lazy asshole, and I get down because it feels like even the things that are worth doing will amount to nothing because they aren't mentally satisfying.

You just need to find something to occupy your time. Try a new hobby or two and see if you can get into it. You're at the age and occupational situation where you can take up something new and devote some time to it. Cultivate your creativity. Maybe incorporate your family into it.

Just gotta stay busy, even if you don't want to do anything. You don't have time to dwell on shit (like you are now) when you're keeping yourself tied up in things.
 
Outcast2004 said:
Here I sit... 30 yrs old, happily married, great 2 yr old daughter who's the best thing in my life... and yet I feel so.... blah.

I have a steady job, as does my wife. We make decent money, have a fairly respectable amount left over every month. And for some reason... it never feels like enough.

I look at my bank account, the bills are all up to date. Never late, always accounted for and have a couple hundred spending to last for a whopping 4 days (I get paid every week)... and yet I'm freaking out. Feeling depressed and contemplating a second job which would take me away from my little girl even more than I am now.

I don't get it, life is pretty good. I know I'm incredibly blessed compared to most of the city I live in and yet still doesn't feel like enough. Only recently has this irrational pani set in occasionally.

Guess I'm just having a Debbie Downer day :(
Click to expand...

"Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle; old age a regret." - Benjamin Disraeli

Outcast2004 said:
Well my newest goal is getting completely debt free.... that's a HELL of a challenge.

When you pretty much have a set income, it's tough to get that "extra" money to send more to debts.
Click to expand...

I should be debt free (right now I'm sitting at around -£1900) by December and by May I should have built up £2500-3000 savings. Eliminating your debt doesn't work overnight. You need to have planned finances and (on occasion) a really tight belt. I've not been in the black since October 2003 (interest free overdrafts all throughout university) and it's going to feel great knowing I don't owe anyone money.
 
Mash said:
Wealth is relative to desire; if this guy wants something more he can't just switch something on and start feeling rich.

OP you need to really try and identify what you're not happy with in your life. It might simply be curbing that expectation that life was going to be something more.
Click to expand...

It's more of a creeping paranoia. Taking our first family vacation next spring and the financial aspect is making me paranoiod because I'm putting a spotlight on it and obsessing over it.
 
Spend those few hundred dollars on starting a new hobby. Build some shit in your garage, dig a garden in the backyard, buy birding guides and go on hikes. Hell, start training for a bike race.

I think this happens when your kid suddenly doesn't need guidance with every single process--suddenly she can roll a ball around or do a four-piece puzzle over and over again, and you aren't needing to feed her every four hours anymore. You moved your activities aside to make time for the constant demand that a baby makes and suddenly you are starting to get it back.

Do something that's just yours--don't keep other people from it necessarily but do something that your project, and something that has visible progress, goals you can set and reach.

That's my pushy advice lol
 
Chiggs said:
I agree with you. I'm 29 and all I see are my friends and their marriages coming to an end. They're devastated because of how much they invested, emotionally and financially. People seem to get married because they think that's what they're supposed to do; that's a horrible mistake to make.
Click to expand...

I'm 25 I'm seeing this being setup for half of my married friends. Half of them seem to legitimately love each other and are great couples. The other half seem just to be married for the sake of it.
 
...on a side note to my 31yr old 'blahs'...Im pretty sure my department at work is going to face cutbacks..I think Im safe, but despite have a newborn, Im kinda hoping I get the ax to force me to do something new..perhaps even struggle with it, work nights stocking shelves for a couple months...down time.

That, and Im getting a pair of Vibram Five Finger KSO's to wear when I go to the gym...Im kinda excited about these!

b142581237.jpg
 
your life sounds like shit. i don't think i'm going to bother doing any of the stuff you mention. wife, family, etc etc.

i think i'm just gonna coast along saving up as much money as i can until i die.
 
I'm surprised no one suggested that you convert to a (different?) religion. You sound like a perfect candidate, like the ones you see in religious infomercials at 3 am.
 
I'm 34 with 3 kids. It's the best time of my life. It will be yours too.

You need to find a hobby or 3 that you can do around the house. You are going to be stuck there for a few years or more. Video games, reading, home improvement, RC cars, whatever....The older the kids get, the more free time you get and the more enjoyment you and your family will have. Your kids will grow up and enjoy your hobbies too, it's a temporary side show in the grand scheme of things. Consider yourself lucky that you are where you are and be an optimist of the situation.

Relish this time, my friend. You only get it once.
 
Jinfash said:
I'm surprised no one suggested that you convert to a (different?) religion. You sound like a perfect candidate, like the ones you see in religious infomercials at 3 am.
Click to expand...
I was thinking about that little known one that L. Ron Hubbard thought up about aliens in volcanoes... but I don't make enough money for them. :)

*picks up the phone to order Dianetics*
 
Outcast2004 said:
I was thinking about that little known one that L. Ron Hubbard thought up about aliens in volcanoes... but I don't make enough money for them. :)

*picks up the phone to order Dianetics*
Click to expand...

Wait, why aren't you saying its name? have "they" gotten to GAF too? :O
 
Since you seem to have spare time and money, take martial arts lessons as a family. Have fun and stay more fit while learning something really kickass.
 
I'm 22, recently graduated with a bachelor's degree and struggling to make $30-35k. Working as a temp and hating my job. Student loans suck.
 
There's a problem here in that you're pinning your supposed happiness on what you possess and the money you earn. Neither of these things can make you happy, they can only distract you.

If you believe money will make you happy then you will be eternally depressed and or jealous. Because there is always more money to be made and always things you can't afford, no matter how much you have. That's not even including the things you just can't buy at all.

Someone said somewhere that the world is awesome right now. We have the internet, we are connected to people 24/7 and can learn anything we want. But everyone is utterly miserable. Why?

It's because the true secret of happiness is to break away from the machine. Break away and wrench your mind out of the lifestyle that the mainstream media forces down your throat every single day and realise that, being happy is as simple as not being angry. Let it go. You have a wonderful family and your life is calm. Money can't buy that.
 
gamerecks said:
Im about to turn 26 and a majority of my time is spent alone at home. All my friends have wives or girlfriends and are occupied spending time with family. I was sorta going out with a girl, but the last time we went out was 3 weeks ago, and anytime I try to do something with her, shes always busy.

Im moving into my own place at the end of next month, and im kinda worried its gonna put me into a depression.
Click to expand...

Moving out for me was one of the better things. I had an awesome home life with my parents but moving out you get to do whatever whenever you want. It is hard to describe but it is awesome.

One thing I try and do is look forward to something every day. Sometimes its just a podcast or something minor and sometimes its pay days or new games. If you have things to look forward to it makes living a bit better. Some smokers I know say that smoking is what keeps them going because every hour they have something to look forward to.
 
thetrin said:
I'm single, 26 years old, I have a fulfilling job, and on the weekend, I drink lots of alcohol and play video games with my friends.

My life fucking rules.

The lesson here is simple: being single fucking owns.
Click to expand...

I'll second this.

31, single, no kids and not married....do what the hell I want, when I want, with who I want.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!
 
Before I start my rant, I'm 29, work full-time as a Web Developer, go to school online full-time, am married, but have no kids...

If I had known what adult life was going to be like, I'd have just stayed a kid (if it were possible). I can't even begin to recall how many times as a kid I said I couldn't wait until I grew up. The thing is, I had no clue what being an adult was like; we spend most of our time working, always have to pay bills, and if we have kids, we're wholly responsible for their well-being. It's a real pain in the ass.

To top it off, I often feel like I don't get to be a regular member of society anymore. I'm at work from 8:30 to 5:30 Monday through Friday, I have weekends off, and almost always spend my Saturdays doing all the stuff I don't have time to do during the week (grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc.). If I have a week day off -- because I request one off -- I always have something I have to do. It's obnoxious.

I dunno, I guess I'm really jaded about adult life. Don't mind me. :lol
 
Well said, Mar.

I'm 34, married with a 1-year old, white collar management, and too much money.

Before the kid my favorite life experiences involved bi-annual international travel. For the past 2 years, I haven't been outside the U.S. once, and with her desire for another kid in the near term, it might be another 3-4 years before I can get on plane. Debbie Downer indeed.

As people in the thread have stated repeatedly, it's about finding new hobbies around the home to enjoy. While I miss the exotic travel hobby, I now spend time being the greatest playmate I can be for the boy. Kids aren't for everyone, but when he smiles it makes my heart melt, and holding him is a fine substitute for walking down the streets of Paris.

Hopefully you can find a similar purpose and level of fulfilment while keeping your family life stable -- can be a difficult balance.
 
Life is about family and friends, not what you do or the things you have. Stop thinking about yourself and help some people. Sounds like you are in a position too.
 
i'm in my mid 30s and yeah being an adult sucks when you end up bogged down by bills, mortgage, car payments and the works

I learned some hard lessons and I am undergoing some changes in my lessons' learned.

the car is the biggest waste of money any adult can ever make, so I put it up for sale and never ever ever will ever buy a new car ever again for the rest of my life ever.

having a few repairs for a used bucket is nothing compared to 5 years of monthly payments of a new car

lesson learned.


another one is: Less = More.
yes Less is more
when younger, I spent money on stupid stupid material junk that is utterly uselsss, when I could have saved that money and travel instead.

With LESS, you can move more often, travel more often.
With MORE, you are bogged down to your home with you crappy material possesions that would make it more of a pain to move and work aborad.
Less is More

other leasson learned
 
It's because you're bummed that when you look at women who aren't your wife, your mind goes blank and your dick tingles. But when you look at your wife you don't feel that--or anything really.

Sorry man. =(
 
gutter_trash said:
another one is: Less = More.
yes Less is more
when younger, I spent money on stupid stupid material junk that is utterly uselsss, when I could have saved that money and travel instead.

With LESS, you can move more often, travel more often.
With MORE, you are bogged down to your home with you crappy material possesions that would make it more of a pain to move and work aborad.
Less is More

other leasson learned
Click to expand...

Yeah, I learned that over the last two years. Luckily I'm only 25 now, so I'm still pretty young.
 
Outcast2004 said:
Here I sit... 30 yrs old, happily married, great 2 yr old daughter who's the best thing in my life... and yet I feel so.... blah.

I have a steady job, as does my wife. We make decent money, have a fairly respectable amount left over every month. And for some reason... it never feels like enough.

I look at my bank account, the bills are all up to date. Never late, always accounted for and have a couple hundred spending to last for a whopping 4 days (I get paid every week)... and yet I'm freaking out. Feeling depressed and contemplating a second job which would take me away from my little girl even more than I am now.

I don't get it, life is pretty good. I know I'm incredibly blessed compared to most of the city I live in and yet still doesn't feel like enough. Only recently has this irrational pani set in occasionally.

Guess I'm just having a Debbie Downer day :(
Click to expand...

This video made by the South Park guys of a snippet of an Alan Watts lecture is absolutely ideal for you. It's about 3 minutes or so:

http://souljerky.com/_media/swf/alan_watts_life.swf
 
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