Support NeoGAF

[PerfectFlaw]

I never had any problems picking up women on online dating sites as a Latin guy. I feel like it's become a trendy thing these days for white chicks to have a brown boyfriend, at least here in Texas. I also cleaned up even more in predominantly white areas; I'm guessing because I stood out more.

But yeah, some people won't want to date us because of the color of our skin. I personally think it's completely cool if you don't want a relationship with someone because of that. I subscribe to the Skittles rule of dating, but if I didn't I wouldnt let anyone make me feel bad for not being attracted to them. So it's all good.

I did have a muslim friend in university, he would almost always call these white girls racist for rejecting him at clubs or schools, and then they would almost be guilted into going out with him, wanting to prove they weren't. He would gloat but I'd feel bad because he knew what he was doing just to sleep with them.

Your friend is a genius.

 

[eggandI]

There are millions of single black women out there. Why waste your time with people who don't want you? Sounds like you going after white girls only

Anyways, yes online dating is kind of a joke. Meet people IRL first and then add each other on social media if you click.

 

[StoopKid]

There are millions of single black women out there. Why waste your time with people who don't want you? Sounds like you going after white girls only

Anyways, yes online dating is kind of a joke. Meet people IRL first and then add each other on social media if you click.

Op on that

 

[lightskintwin]

There are millions of single black women out there. Why waste your time with people who don't want you? Sounds like you going after white girls only

Anyways, yes online dating is kind of a joke. Meet people IRL first and then add each other on social media if you click.

I kinda feel the same way, however admittedly I'm spoiled because I live in Atlanta and there's a great big selection of Black women down here. I'm constantly reminded how spoiled I am when I travel to other cities even if there's a high Black population percentage, and they just ain't up to par. LOL

 

[Numb]

You seem trustworthy.

There are millions of single black women out there. Why waste your time with people who don't want you? Sounds like you going after white girls only

Anyways, yes online dating is kind of a joke. Meet people IRL first and then add each other on social media if you click.

Talking even once IRL before online gets results
They already gave you their contacts in person

 

[Derwind]

I strongly doubt you never complain or worry about something that isn't in your power to control.

I do, I just try to not let it take too much time out of my life.

I've had a lot of time and a whole lot of spent self-esteem to understand how futile the online dating scene is.

I apologize if I'm dismissive, I just personally don't have any time left to worry about what side of the room I should stand for the right selfie so that I net a response from someone who otherwise can't see past skin deep.

Sorry fam, that's just who I am.

 

[JCX]

I (white gay male) dated a black gay guy who always was complaining about this. But he himself would only date white guys. Is it still about race or just about preference?

Oh do not even get me started on white gays (generally speaking).

Racial preferences are racist. Some black gays internalize the openly racist "preferences" that white gays cling to, which may be what happened with your ex.

 

[deefol]

As a black man I noticed that you hit a glass ceiling when you want more than sex with dating apps.

But somehow I went to smash one night and I'm now in a two year relationship

 

[Rembrandt]

But somehow I went to smash one night and I'm now in a two year relationship

Haven't lived until it happens to you once.

 

[Keikaku]

Online dating is a dumpster fire for that and many many many reasons. It's one of the few "places" where it's still socially acceptable in the mainstream to be racist as all hell and they can pull the "just preference!" card anytime they want. You have to be white, good looking, and tall if you want any chance of having consistent success. Anything that deviates from that template and you've got a bafflingly disproportionate uphill battle in these dating sites/apps.

"Millions" is pretty hyperbolic. The dating pool in these apps seems endless when you first begin, but by week 3 you're still sifting through the same folks. Then you move on to another app and you realize they're nearly all the same people ignoring each other.

And that's 3 weeks assuming you live in a large metropolitan area. If you're not it's more like one week.

As a counterpoint, I'm a fairly average looking Indian (very clearly Indian) dude with a Dad-bod and I was getting around 1-2 dates every 3 weeks or so in Seattle/Redmond, WA over the course of about 1.5 years. I met my girlfriend on there and we've been together for 3.5 years now. This sort of experience wasn't unique to me either as I have at least 3 friends in similar situations.

Online dating can and does work really well.

 

[tehfryguy]

My name is very hard to pronounce. It's uncommon and southern European.

I once changed my name to David and instantly it changed my matches and dialog. It was super annoying. Racism is very real. I feel bad for anyone of African descent, it's hard enough creating a spark online. But I've been flat out told by women "I'd never date a black guy." (I'm white but they confided in me for some random reason)

Part of me thought ok, preference, but the follow up to that statement is usually damning.

Keep in mind I live in Southern California, I consider it a more progressive part of the country.Makes me ill sometimes.

 

[Madness]

Wait... what.. That's kind of genius, though I don't see how it could possibly work.

Your friend is a genius.

One girl he met in a random european history class with me. She helped tutor english as a second language students and had plans to go to China later etc. And she was really pretty. And he would sit by her sometimes if she came early and a spot was open. And then he asked her if she wanted to do anything later one day, and she brushed him off, I have work etc. And so like maybe 3 weeks later after we found out her llans for China, he was like, are you going to go there to basically just shit all over them, pretend to be their white savior, little do they know you're so racist and don't give others the time of day. And you could tell she felt it in her bones. And he was just trolling. Criticize her whole plan etc. And then was like you're so racist you cannot even get coffee with me after class and then she did and it went from there. I think he ended up sleeping with her a few weeks before finals but they definitely went out. And he was smart, almost predatory like that and it made me uneasy at times. I was still a bit introverted then. Hard to explain now in memory. But he would get all thrse arts and university girls to go out with them, make them feel, for lack of a better word guilty. At clubs would say to the hot bartender, did you charge me more than my friend because I'm muslim, that aint cool and then would end up with a free shot, maybe a number. And that is when I started to realize that how devastating it would be for someone who probably wasn't racist to be called racist and they would go out of their to prove they weren't.

 

[akira28]

I guess they couldn't let us put in our own preferences because it would fuck up their algorithm. But I would like to put a checkbox for 'any racial hangups', so people just wouldn't have to deal with that bullshit. You see them on your like list, you can safely assume they cliked the 'any' box.

Instead of assuming the 'any' box is conceptual and in the minds of all good people.

 

[FairyD]

Online dating is rough. It's disheartening when you come across that shit.

 

[daffy]

I never had any problems picking up women on online dating sites as a Latin guy. I feel like it's become a trendy thing these days for white chicks to have a brown boyfriend, at least here in Texas. I also cleaned up even more in predominantly white areas; I'm guessing because I stood out more.

But yeah, some people won't want to date us--

Yeah that's where you lost me. Are you really gonna sit here and pretend being a Latin guy in Texas is at all similar to being black in America? Blacks get a very specific slice of America's bullshit and here you are trying to involve yourself as non black people are known to do when they have no idea how fucked it is.

 

[Numb]

My name is very hard to pronounce. It's uncommon and southern European.

I once changed my name to David and instantly it changed my matches and dialog. It was super annoying. Racism is very real. I feel bad for anyone of African descent, it's hard enough creating a spark online. But I've been flat out told by women "I'd never date a black guy." (I'm white but they confided in me for some random reason)

Part of me thought ok, preference, but the follow up to that statement is usually damning.

Keep in mind I live in Southern California, I consider it a more progressive part of the country.Makes me ill sometimes.

People have had a 100% failure rate at saying and writing my name all my life. Not gonna bother with these apps. No way. Helps being handsome

 

[Two Words]

I guess they couldn't let us put in our own preferences because it would fuck up their algorithm. But I would like to put a checkbox for 'any racial hangups', so people just wouldn't have to deal with that bullshit. You see them on your like list, you can safely assume they cliked the 'any' box.

Instead of assuming the 'any' box is conceptual and in the minds of all good people.

Many people wouldn't check anything that would say they have "racial hangups" and still have racial hangups.

 

[neurosyphilis]

If someone is unwilling to date you because of the color of your skin, then fuck em, death to them. That shouldn't even be a factor.

 

[ModBot]

have you considered dating online while pretending not to be a sexist asshole?