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Being well spoken=nerdy. Anyone gotten this?

I used the word "circuitous" in a meeting once and had more than one person ask what it meant and then proceed to make comments about the "fancy" words I use. :|
 
I have a different problem. Down in the South, people say I speak/sound white.

I hate that.

Just because I don't fit into a stereotype doesn't mean I'm white. I was raised over seas and lived near or on a base my entire life growing up... of course I'm going to sound a bit different.
 
Addi said:
Not necessarily, good looks can be threatening, so can vocabulary. A combination of the two can make the person seem arrogant and up his own ass.

Being seen as nerdy (in a negative way) has a lot to do with not being able to pick up on social cues. It might not be your vocabulary that make you seem nerdy, but your inability to adapt to different environments. You don't need to pull out academic expressions when you are hanging with your bros.
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Good points.
 
I usually dumb it down for people. The key to communicating successfully is speaking in terms people can understand.

Also relevant

604386.jpg
 
I think it's the way you speak average/less intelligent/mainstream people can find some words complicated to understand. What i do is i try to guess how smart (not literally just looking at how they speak) someone is during a conversation and use the appropriate words they should understand.

Looks are a big part of whypeople would call someone that. My hobbies are very nerdy and i even have a couple of Zelda tats but no one irl calls me that. Not trying to brag but i look above average and the tattoo's are done in a neat way and i dress well so mainstreams simply don't care.

It's the same with hot nerdy girls/guys no one will care if you have the nerdiest hobbies ever but if you look like one they will.

But in your case i think it might be the way you speak not your looks unless you have weird glasses and dress the part ofcourse but i doubt you do.
 
I have an Irish and Scottish name, and I'm an eloquent speaker with a substantial vocabulary. Employers always get a rude awakening when a black guy shows up to the interview.
 
I'm reminded of the line during the opening monologue/rant in The Newsroom, when Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels' character) says, "...we aspired to intelligence; we didn't belittle it..."

I've never been able to comprehend why this happens...
I was going to say it was due to social constructs within ethnic groups, but on second thought I wonder if it has more to do with socioeconomic and class bias.

It's been my observation that anytime a group of people identifies with and normalizes what most would classify as sub-par education - think of the stereotypical inner city/ghetto and the back hills of the Appalachian states - there is a definite animosity towards the well-educated. I think of the countless TV shows and movies where higher education is portrayed as synonymous with corruption and disdain for the "common man", and the "common man" is the epitome of virtue.

I see it across all races - being from "da hood" or "down home" is better than being "uptown" or "boujee", being street smart is better than being book smart...

I dealt with it as a Mexican growing up in a predominately Mexican-American, lower-class neighborhood/school. I was well-read and did well in school, and was bullied and teased for it. When we moved to Michigan, and a predominately white area, it didn't change much. I was teased because I played football but held a decent GPA and participated in the arts (choir/theater).

I've never understood the allure of being intentionally uneducated or uncultured - and I stress "intentionally". Especially in this day and age, where we literally have a world of information at our fingertips...
 
JonnyDBrit said:
It's often tied to old concepts of class, and thus, intellectualism, in that previously the people who could most commonly afford a higher education, and thus sophisticated speech, were the wealthy. As well, since more complex understanding requires more precise language, intellectuals are expected to be better spoken so as to not confuse their meaning. But this does encourage the notion that being well spoken automatically means intellectual or nerdy, when in that perspective it's more correlation than causation.

Admittedly in my case I am a nerd, but people have often commented on my ability to speak and argue a point as an indication of presumed intellect.
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I really don't like the way you speak.
 
The trick is to use casual speech to say what you mean, and employ your big vocabulary sparingly, when you need an apt word with appropriate shades of meaning. People think it's weird if you don't sound like a regular person in everyday life, because it actually is weird to throw around less common words to make a mundane point.

If you don't want to be seen as socially maladjusted, don't overuse a heightened vocabulary to show off your marvelous intellect or whatever. And don't be like those silly people that throw out a five dollar word they're not sure about because they think it sounds neat. The real benefit of a developed vocabulary is having a sophisticated internal editor that helps you say the right thing at the right time.

Sometimes I slip into my older patterns of overwrought speech when I'm talking about academic subjects, because it's a good excuse to flex, and it's fun. But you actually sound smarter when you dial down the showy language and lay out a well formed thought.
 
I was always well spoken growing up and moving to a city definitely led to me getting called a nerd for the way I talk. A friend of mine even said I spoke like a white person which bothered me more than he intended probably. I do catch myself dumbing down some of the vocab around certain friend groups, I love em to death but being significantly better spoken than those around you makes you feel like an outsider.
 
I am fairly spoken in real life but my writing skills have deteriorated after excessively using WhatsApp and text messages for the past 3 years.

I find it very jarring when I encounter people who employ slang in their everyday language, or if they swear excessively. You will rarely ever hear me swearing in real life, although it's a lot easier to type 'fuck' on the internet/phone.

It isn't nerdy to be well spoken but I really guess that depends on the community you are from and the type of people you have grown up with.
 
I guess it depends on the situation. Do you use million dollar words in situations that don't call for it? Like in a casual conversation with friends, do you throw in unusually unique words when they serve no purpose other than to make you look superior to the group? Or do you try too hard to impress people you don't know by throwing in a word of the day?

Also if you do this and wear a fedora then the answer is a definitive yes. And if this is the case, nerdy is being used as a synonym for ass hat.
 
Not so much in person, but some people have made fun of my texts, which are grammatically correct complete sentences, using real words and no shorthands or emojis.
 
Hankodank said:
I'm reminded of the line during the opening monologue/rant in The Newsroom, when Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels' character) says, "...we aspired to intelligence; we didn't belittle it..."

I've never been able to comprehend why this happens...
I was going to say it was due to social constructs within ethnic groups, but on second thought I wonder if it has more to do with socioeconomic and class bias.

It's been my observation that anytime a group of people identifies with and normalizes what most would classify as sub-par education - think of the stereotypical inner city/ghetto and the back hills of the Appalachian states - there is a definite animosity towards the well-educated. I think of the countless TV shows and movies where higher education is portrayed as synonymous with corruption and disdain for the "common man", and the "common man" is the epitome of virtue.

I see it across all races - being from "da hood" or "down home" is better than being "uptown" or "boujee", being street smart is better than being book smart...

I dealt with it as a Mexican growing up in a predominately Mexican-American, lower-class neighborhood/school. I was well-read and did well in school, and was bullied and teased for it. When we moved to Michigan, and a predominately white area, it didn't change much. I was teased because I played football but held a decent GPA and participated in the arts (choir/theater).

I've never understood the allure of being intentionally uneducated or uncultured - and I stress "intentionally". Especially in this day and age, where we literally have a world of information at our fingertips...
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Probably because some people inherently believe someone who is well-educated is a judgement about them personally. Especially in disadvantaged places where everyone else wasn't smart enough or lucky enough to get a proper education, it can be treated as an affront. So maybe you're stuck in a dead-end job or neighborhood, but at least you're not acting like that highfalutin' asshole over there who thinks he's better than us. Hell, sometimes educated people certainly do (I'm sure people can think of examples of some liberal arts college ass who tries to veer every conversation to Infinite Jest because he's read it and oh, you haven't? That's a shame) but there's also a bit of projection involved.

There can also be something of a racial component. As people have pointed out, a good education is tacitly not something a lot of minorities get, so speaking well becomes a "white" attribute to people as opposed to something strictly to do with class or economics. This is doubly-harmful because I've seen through AmeriCorps how this attitude actively discourages minority achievement, often in peers actively picking on anyone who actually shows academic aptitude. Especially with boys.
 
Steel said:
There's a bit of a line between being well-spoken and going out of your way to avoid using vernacular language. The latter is just pretentious. I wouldn't even call it nerdy, posh is closer.
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Agreed. I always think of this exchange from the John Adams miniseries:

Abigail: John, there is not a person in Boston who doubts your education. Your command of language.

John: Oh no. You are charming me, Abigail! You never charm me. What you are about to say is cutting.

Abigail: John. . . . Vanity.

John: Vain?

Abigail: You have overburdened your argument with ostentatious erudition. You do not need to quote great men to show you are one.
 
Never heard anyone being called nerdy just for being well-spoken. But there is a subset of people, who like to speak in a very convoluted and faux-archaic way, that I think it could apply to.
 
Monocle said:
The trick is to use casual speech to say what you mean, and employ your big vocabulary sparingly, when you need an apt word with appropriate shades of meaning. People think it's weird if you don't sound like a regular person in everyday life, because it actually is weird to throw around less common words to make a mundane point.

If you don't want to be seen as socially maladjusted, don't overuse a heightened vocabulary to show off your marvelous intellect or whatever. And don't be like those silly people that throw out a five dollar word they're not sure about because they think it sounds neat. The real benefit of a developed vocabulary is having a sophisticated internal editor that helps you say the right thing at the right time.

Sometimes I slip into my older patterns of overwrought speech when I'm talking about academic subjects, because it's a good excuse to flex, and it's fun. But you actually sound smarter when you dial down the showy language and lay out a well formed thought.
Click to expand...

Funny thing, I barely use big words. I write like I speak most of the time.

And to be fair, being good with the language has brought me way more material rewards via career advancement, so I'm not complaining. I just thought it was a funny observation. I'm in Sales, so I need to dial down my language all the time to connect with prospects.
 
Nah, but I'm not very articulate. I can make my points well enough, but I often don't have the vocabulary to say it concise enough. I sure as hell get annoyed at people who clearly use words they know others largely don't know. You're not teaching anyone anything and essentially baiting them into a one-sided conversation where they'll likely end up feeling stupid.
 
cromofo said:
Depends on your appearance.
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Yes that but it's probably also about your inflection/cadence and what you decide to talk about.

There are very well spoken people that would never be considered nerdy. If you are very well spoken and use that skill to dissect the newest X-Men movie people will probably think you are kinda nerdy (not disparaging with that word, I think I'm pretty nerdy in certain ways).
 
In my experience it's more about diction, which can be a part of being "well-spoken" but "well-spoken" usually means eloquence.

If you speak with a large vocabulary using uncommon large words you're more likely to be called nerdy.

FF Seraphim said:
Never nerdy but as a minority I have been told I talk like a white person. It leaves me dumbstruck to say the least.
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In high school I had a bunch of black classmates who got that criticism from their communities and they often expressed frustration with that attitude.
 
It's okay to be well spoken, but the real art is in being adaptable and knowing your audience in a given conversation in the same way that you likely interact differently with family/parents vs friends.
 
Back in high school, sure, but that mostly stopped once I got to college. It probably differs depending on what industry you're in too... Like if you work in a notably blue collar industry I could see a cultural rejection of that.

I definitely 'code switch' when it comes to the audience I'm with, though. I'm not sure if 'code switching' is used in different class situations or only when it comes to race, but my demeanor, vocabulary, and style will change fairly dramatically if I'm out with guys that I play basketball with versus when I'm at work or hanging with different people.
 
tokkun said:
If "well-spoken" means communicating in a way that ensures the people listening to you best understand the thoughts you are trying to convey, then no, I don't think being well-spoken brands you as a nerd.

However, I think a lot of people actually equate "well-spoken" with the use of obscure words, which often has the opposite effect - making it more difficult for listeners to understand you. This is something I do associate with nerds, because it demonstrates either that the person has poor social intelligence or that they are attempting to assert their intellectual status in a heavy-handed way.
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Tokkun gets it.
 
It's up there with being a geek because you're way into something. Surprise: No. That's being an enthusiast.
Then again my definition of a geek is being an enthusiast (w/ media) + socially awkward.
 
Some people definitely want to make themselves sound smarter by using a larger vocabulary.

But you can smell those people a mile away.
 
Kurdel said:
Some people definitely want to make themselves sound smarter by using a larger vocabulary.

But you can smell those people a mile away.
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Yeah I'd say say this is sort of how I see it among level headed people that aren't striving for anti-intellectualism. Like are you being natural with how you communicate regardless of your vocabulary? If it doesn't feel like you are trying to be that pony tail guy from Good Will Hunting bar scene then you're good.

Among people that straight up hate intelligence, well, that's something else.
 
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