• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Best/funniest Soulsborne messages

The "but hole" ones are soooo rarely funny.

I like ones that get creative with the "musings" or use of words in unconventional ways.

My favorite lately is just leaving messages with "____, right?" or "_____, man." attached to the end.

My highest rated is in front of the melted statue in Lothric Castle:

"It'll happen to you too, man."
 
If Salt & Sanctuary counts, before the Witch of the Lake, I found a message somebody left that said "Crazy Beach Ahead." I fucking lost it.
 
JpnLJzd.jpg
Click to expand...

.
 
On a straight path on Dark Souls II, over a dozen messages.
"Message ahead."
"Could this be a message?"
"Message and then message."
"Try message."

It was pretty dumb, but that something so stupid got so many players to join in was funny.
 
In DSIII, I like the tradition of leaving some form of "friend ahead" "friend but tears" or "nice fellow" in front of [late game spoilers]
the dead Anor Londo giant blacksmith.

I've never minded the jokes or spam messages in the games. To me, these are supposed to be the scrawlings of half-mad undead people desperately trying to form coherent thoughts and communicate with others.

It feels right that many of the messages come off as drunken babble. Why wouldn't, for example, so many of the undead leave a delusional "invisible wall ahead" message in front of every other wall? They're all going crazy, hitting everything they can because they're paranoid and lost. (Just like you, the player, looking for secrets.)
 
Try tongue, and then Ahhh! Thrust...

in front of the firekeeper



Quite something ahead, but I can't take this....

In front of a Sword decoration laying on a pedastal
 
Snacks the sober sea lion said:
On a straight path on Dark Souls II, over a dozen messages.
"Message ahead."
"Could this be a message?"
"Message and then message."
"Try message."

It was pretty dumb, but that something so stupid got so many players to join in was funny.
Click to expand...

Saw this the other day too. I was laughing my ass off, but my girlfriend didn't get it.
 
Auctopus said:
I might sound a bit "No Fun Allowed" but I always saw those "But hole" and "thrust attack" comments in front of female NPCs being left by /r/gaming mouth-breathers...
Click to expand...

This ^

Can't really be pestered with the messages at all to be honest, so I was glad my PS+ expired before DaS 3 released. Enjoyed my offline playthrough.

Couldn't believe the devs left a note telling us to cut the bridge down.
 
I liked, "time for beanpole, fatty" in front a barred door in ds3. I also liked, "time for cleansing" next to the mobs that are furiously scratching the floor in BB's cainhurst castle.
 
The tongue/finger but hole/amazing chest ones are really lame and uncreative. If you're going to leave dirty message at least be creative about it. They are so common that I've seen them a million times.

I liked the "man? woman?" one in front of that shaking carriage in the entrance of Aldia's Keep in DS2.

And in DS3, "Be wary of crab, time for bleeding" or something in front of a female NPC. lol, at least this one was creative.

"Don't give up, skeleton!" was funny the first time but also got a bit old.

"Oh, man!" before a difficult encounter in Bloodborne.

Fatty jokes. "Try jog, fatty" in front of a narrow opening the character can't go through.

Wheelchair jokes. Also got old, but the first times, I admit I laughed and they aren't as ubiquitous as "tongue but hole".

"Dwarf required ahead" for small openings near the ground.

"guts?" in front of the greatsword loot in Dark Souls 3.

(I also rate up most useful messages, but it's always the silly ones that get more ratings it seems. :( )

Baraka in the White House said:
"Lever ahead" placed directly in front of a lever.
Click to expand...
Haha, that one actually helped me once. For some reason my eyes glazed over and I missed the lever so the message made me go "huh... that's right! Thanks!". xD

Erheller said:
Dark Souls III
Click to expand...
Haha perfect! I think I saw a similar one.

RevolverRoden said:
I always laugh at "pitiful really"
Click to expand...
I love seeing those after finding a big chest with... Tomb Mold.
 
I usually like them.

I hate the ones in DS2 where it says "illusory wall ahead" directly in front of an illusory wall though. I never found out if placing the message that close would keep you from actually pressing X against the wall.
 
Akuun said:
I usually like them.

I hate the ones in DS2 where it says "illusory wall ahead" directly in front of an illusory wall though. I never found out if placing the message that close would keep you from actually pressing X against the wall.
Click to expand...
It won't. The game prioritizes triggering the illusory wall over reading the message.
 
Not exactly what's being asked for but the timing of someone rating my message.

I gave up at the boss in this area though from what I hear there's a way to summon NPC's (and other players but I don't know what kind of level match making logic it does and if there are any compatible players out there) so I'll have to look that up.
 
One of my favorites is "I did it!" on a hard to reach area that you have to jump/platform to, apparently unintended by the devs. So weird how it changes the pacing of the game, you might try for several minutes just jumping to a piece of railing or something. It's practically a minigame. Those parts remind me of 3D platformers where movement itself is fun enough to base a game on.
 
Being told to thrust at anything with a hole gets a bit tiresome.

I definitely enjoy a bunch of the messages though, some of them can be pretty funny.

They've gotten a little bit old, but I still enjoy the "No illusory wall ahead" messages right in front of a typical wall. Thank you kind stranger, for the hot tip.

I've enjoyed putting "fine work" messages in areas that are difficult to reach/jump to, but are ultimately pointless.
 
I saw a message on Blacksmith Ed's bed in Demon's Souls that said "Ed's Grindstone". I laughed. "Amazing chest ahead" is also a classic. The "Try tongue but hole"-type ones do nothing for me.
 
My favorite had to be in ds3 in front of a dead
asylum demon
in the
old demon kings
chamber. It was a message saying touch but hole. Along with the point forward emote actually doing the action
 
Venfayth said:
I know what you're talking about, but the order of the second and third Lords are actually interchangeable.

I got to Yhorm before Aldritch

I got tired of seeing all the sex joke messages quite early on in 3, there are a LOT of them.

Oddly enough, I have an odd fondness for the "horse!" messages in the corner in 2 :P
Click to expand...

LOL i put a lot of horse messages in DS 2....
there was one like "horse ahead and then a horse"
also i put lots of "love ahead" and other love related msgs in Ds3
 
Favorite one was in DS3. There's a place in the demon ruins where you get to a huge ladder, extremely reminiscent of the sequence in MGS3 where the theme song is played, so of course that immediately starts going through my head. On the ground in front of the ladder is the message "lizard soup", which is of course the closest someone could get to "snake eater". I thought that was pretty great.
 
I was playing demons souls for the first time the other day and on the bed of the hidden blacksmith there was a Sticky White Stuff message. I had seen the message a couple other times before, but this one in particular caught me off guard and gave me a good laugh.

Edit: beaten
 
There's something about the limited vocabulary that makes the messages so charming. My favourite one is from Dark Souls 2, in the room with Vendrick: "Poor soul, circling around."

In Dark Souls 3 I've left a couple messages, my two highest rated ones are:
"Ahh, poor soul" in front of the
Giant Blacksmith
in
Anor Londo

and

"This place again? but lonely..." in the
dark Firelink shrine.
 
In Dark Souls 2 there was a random small tree by itself in the Shaded Woods and I put "try circling around, and then item!" like it was some Paper Mario shit. Hopefully I tricked someone with that one.
 
After walking up all the stairs to
Irithyll of the Boreal Valley
in DS3, I saw a "Good work, fatty!" message just at the top, with a gesture of someone in Smough's armor resting.
 
In a room with a lot of breakable objects, some variation of "Time for rolling!" with a gesture of the author pumping his fist in the air .

On top of one of the iron chain bridges in Brume Tower: "Weakness: resignation and then Try below"

After defeating Burnt Ivory King in Dark Souls II, leaving you staring at the waterfall of lava: "destroy, ring!"

Lollipop Dave said:
Yl6veh2.jpg
.
Click to expand...

lmao

Captainbojanglesiii said:
"If only I had a princess" in front of a Notched Whip
Click to expand...

Holy shit.
 
MagnoSauce said:
One of my favorites is "I did it!" on a hard to reach area that you have to jump/platform to, apparently unintended by the devs. So weird how it changes the pacing of the game, you might try for several minutes just jumping to a piece of railing or something. It's practically a minigame. Those parts remind me of 3D platformers where movement itself is fun enough to base a game on.
Click to expand...

And then attacking the shit out of any and all geometry in the immediate area thinking an illusory wall might be somewhere nearby.
 
My favorite so far is "Don't give up, fatty" in front of the dead Winged Knight reaching for a spear on the High Wall (right before the alive Winged Knight).
 
Try thrust but hole, with a guy doing a salute that makes it look like he's fingerings a corpses but. It slayed me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

  • Poll
Best "of the" best
40
1K
uncreativename replied
  • Poll
Funniest Gaming Moment in the last 15 Years
2 3
106
2K
TerribleAtThisGame replied
Best game ever
2 3 4
169
1K
DeaconOfTheDank replied
Best Thunderstorms In Video Games
2
86
779
Polaris replied
  • Locked
[WC] Sony raised PS5 prices in key regions and Xbox instantly became the cheaper console, creating one of the funniest value swings in years
Business Platform 
27
272
Artistic replied
Top Bottom