Support NeoGAF

[Hoya Destroyer]

When I first heard this monologue from 'V for Vendetta' I was like holy shit! The whole thing really impressed me. I wish I had this guys vocabulary.
Voila!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26h-H6CFO-A

His second speech rallying the English people (if you seek as I seek!) was also amazing IMO.

 

[Sapiens]

Ratatouille.

I loved this one.

 

[StuBurns]

The best monologue happens to be from the best movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9PzSNy3xj0

Synecdoche, New York

EDIT: Someone already posted it, dang nabbit.

 

[MightyKAC]

Damn it, why does this have to be about MOVIE monologues?

Well I guess I'll just take this bit from Riley on the Boondocks to some other thread.....

Soooooo damn gangsta.

 

[Empty]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI5hrcwU7Dk

You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I won't have it! Is that clear? You think you've merely stopped a business deal. That is not the case! The Arabs have taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back! It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity! It is ecological balance! You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations. There are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multinational dominion of dollars. Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, reichmarks, rins, rubles, pounds, and shekels. It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this planet.

That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and YOU... WILL... ATONE! Am I getting through to you, Mr. Beale? You get up on your little twenty-one inch screen and howl about America and democracy. There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM, and ITT, and AT&T, and DuPont, Dow, Union Carbide, and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today. What do you think the Russians talk about in their councils of state, Karl Marx? They get out their linear programming charts, statistical decision theories, minimax solutions, and compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions and investments, just like we do.

We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Mr. Beale. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business, Mr. Beale. It has been since man crawled out of the slime. And our children will live, Mr. Beale, to see that... perfect world... in which there's no war or famine, oppression or brutality. One vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all men will hold a share of stock. All necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused. And I have chosen you, Mr. Beale, to preach this evangel.

network has a ludicrous number of great monolgues but this is my favourite.

 

[Professor Beef]

Clerks 2 had one of my favorites, from when they're all in jail.


Jay: Jesus fucking Christ, what good are you, you fuck!?
Silent Bob: You know, that hurts. Like, what do you ever add to the fucking proceeding? You got like one answer for everything: "pussy, man."
Randal: Man, you must love this fucking guy, 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else's standards. "I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what's expected of me." And the fucking insane part is, he ain't even crazy about the chick he's marrying or Florida, never mind the fact that he's got a perfectly good chick right here in Jersey who he's nuts about, and even Anne fucking Frank could see she's nuts about him too. And she likes you for who you are, man. She ain't trying to stuff you into a box you'll never fit into, not to mention that she's carrying your hideous fucking chud of a kid. Jesus, if you had any sense whatsoever, you'd fucking stop trying to bray it up with the rest of the sheep and live your life the way it makes sense to you, you fucking ass.
Dante: Oh yeah? And what's that? You obviously have such a great handle on your life. What would you do if you were in my position? Or even what you would do in your own position? Swing that judgmental pendulum back the other way and tell me how you'd solve all your problems, asshole. What the fuck would the great Randal Graves do if he was half the master of his destiny that I'M SUPPOSED TO BE?
Randal: I'D BUY THE QUICK-STOP, AND RE-OPEN IT MYSELF. That's what I'd do -- that's what we should do!

 

[JakeK812]

I didn't find the monologue at the end of Clerks 2 to be so outstanding, but the one at the end of the original? Brilliant.

Randall: Oh fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go: trying to pass the buck! Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex-girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You want to blame somebody? Blame yourself! "I'm not even supposed to be here today" You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here - you're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder, like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you over-compensate for having what is basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons! Anybody could waltz in here and do our jobs. You - you're so obsessed with making everything seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante - and badly I might add. I work in a sh!tty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right man, he has no delusions about what he does. Us - we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people who come in here to buy a paper or God forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?

 

[bengraven]

We had a similar thread a few weeks ago that started with the Charlie Chaplin "Great Dictator" speech and NOTHING I've seen compares to that.

 

[cj_iwakura]

Whole thread needs more Kevin Smith monologues, especially from Chasing Amy.

[Hooper X]
Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy.

Bust this. Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down. Even in a galaxy far, far away.

Check this shit. You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker; nazi poster boy, blonde hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy. Nubian God!

[Banky]
What's a nubian?

[Hooper X]
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Now. Vader, he's a spiritual brother. Down with the force and all that good shit.
Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a lightsaber, then the boy decides he's gon run the fuckin' universe. Gets a whole CLAN of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the fuck do you call that!?

[Banky]
Intergalactic civil war?

[Hooper X]
GENTRIFICATION!
They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy, quote unquote, safe for white folks! And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble crusty old white man! They tryin' to say that deep down inside, we all wants to be white!

-Well isn't that true!?

-BLACK RAGE! I'll kill any white folks I'll lay my motherfuckin' eyes on!

 

[BrokenSymmetry]

President Bartlett's (Martin Sheen) monologue in the "Two Chathedrals" episode of The West Wing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FScv89J6rro

You're a son of a bitch you know that? She bought her first new car and you hit her with a drunk driver. What, is that supposed to be funny? "You can't conceive nor can I the strangeness of the mercy of God," says Graham Green. I think I know who's ass he was kissing there, 'cause I think your're just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman, the warning shot? That was my son, what did I ever do to yours but praise his glory and praise his name? There's a tropical storm that's gaining speed and power. They say we haven't had a storm this bad since you took out that Tender ship of mine in the North Atlantic last year, sixty-eight crew. You know what a Tender ship does? It fixes the other ships, and, delivers the mail, that's all it can do. Gracias Tibiago Domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin, I've committed many sins. Have I displeased you, you feckless thug? Three point eight billion new jobs that wasn't good? Bailed out Mexico, Increased foreign trade, 30 million new acres of land for conservation, put Mendoza on the bench, we're not fighting a war, I've raised 3 children. That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse? Hace credam a deo pio? A deo iusto, a deo scico? Cruciatus in crucem. Tuus in terra sertvus, nuntius fui. Officium perfecti. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem.

 

[StuBurns]

Great, now I have to rewatch all of the West Wing, the box set is in the loft too, it's a pain to get to, thanks for that.

 

[Kinyou]

From OSS 117: Lost in Rio (by Michel Hazanavicius, starring Jean Dujardin):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2uG2dUMb_U]

Haha, I love the nazi monologue

 

[mclem]

A lot of what I like's already been said; I was going to mention Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross, and *also* Two Cathedrals from The West Wing

There's two or three in Shawshank Redemption. Brooks' letter home is a good one, as is Red's monologue at the parole board. Also, if you count it, the end of the film itself is mostly monologue, too.

Another film with a lot of wonderful (but utterly chilling, in this case) monologues would be Conspiracy.

 

[bengraven]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbn-GjL6WLA&list=FLm27rD71Y7W4KF9rzdFVIxg&feature=mh_lolz

Here's the Great Dictator speech uncut, unedited, and with original music. Also includes the last bit, which is usually cut up, with him exhausted and exuberant, speaking to his love interest across the distance. It's just as beautiful.

 

[Insane Metal]

And whilst not strictly a monologue due to the interruptions, I just had to post this:

Scent of a Woman snitch speech

Hell yes!

Also, Inglorious Basterds.

 

[SuperAndroid17]

Johnny Depp in BLOW

Hello Dad. You know I remember a lifetime ago, when I was about 3 1/2 feet tall, weighing all of 60 pounds, but every inch your son. I remember those Saturday mornings going to work with my dad, we'd climb into that big green truck. I thought that truck... was the biggest truck in the universe pop. I remember how important the job we did was, how if it wasn't for us, people would freeze to death. I thought you were the strongest man in the world. And remember those home videos when mom would dress up like Loretta Young, barbeques and football games, ice cream, playing with the Tuna. And when I left for California only to come home with the FBI chasing me, and that FBI agent Trout had to kneel down to put my boots on and you said, "That's where you belong you son of a bitch, puttin on Georgie's boots." That was a good one pop, you remember that. And remember that time when you told me that money wasn't real. Well old man, I'm 42 years old, and I finally realize what you were trying to tell me, so many years ago. I finally understand. Your the best, pop, just wish I could have done more for you, wish we had more time. Anyway, may the wind always be at your back, and the sun always upon your face, and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars. I love you Dad. Love George.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCbXx67zNLc


amazing... the ending was great too.

"So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last day of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door"

Johnny Depp's delivery is unmatched

 

[ComputerMKII]

We are born alone, live our lives alone and die alone. Alone, forever alone. Even when fucking we're alone. Alone with our body, alone with our life, which is like a tunnel, impossible to share. Over the years it only gets worse, only leaving memories of a life that's slowly deteriorating. Life is a tunnel. Everyone has his own little tunnel. Only there is no light at the end. It is a void. Even memories will be gone. The old people do know this. They live a simple life... they have small pensions and a small grave. And it's all completely useless. Even having children. When you're old and poor they will put you in a home to let you suffer in silence. They don't care. They don't love their parents. It's a myth. You only love your mother when she feeds you. And your father when he gives you money. Once her breasts are all dried out or when your father's pockets are empty, better put them away and hope they'll die a quick and cheap death.

It's the law of life. Only when there's an inheritance do the children pretend to be nice. But for a fridge or TV there is no need to play nice guy. Maybe just the bare minimum, for ease of mind. Call them every other month, a couple tears at the funeral and you've done your duty. Love and friendship. It's all full of shit, illusions from your youth to cover up the fact that all human relationships are redundant.

Sure friendship and love are useful, only when they're beneficiary. Reality is much more corrupted. You love your mother because she feeds you so you stay alive. Your friend because he helps you get a job so you stay alive. Your wife because she cooks for you and relieves you of your sperm and gives you children to look after you when you're old and afraid to die.

But punish your child once and it'll retaliate when you're old. The punishment will be their tool. When they put you in a home that will be their excuse to hide their disinterest that we all have towards our up bringers.

No, fucking is definitely misunderstood. It's even damn expensive. But well, it's a pastime. When you don't want to fuck no more that's when you know your time is up. And that it's all been the same in this life. Merely a reproduction code that's been imprinted on us, that we think we should obey. Being born against your will. Eat. Wave your dick around. Make new life. Die. Life is one big void. It's always been and it'll always be. A large void that can do just fine without me.

I don't want to play that game anymore. not in this life. I want to experience something personal, something intense. I don't want to be the final replaceable part of a giant machine. The day I die I want to have done more than the shit millions of fuckers have done together. Look at it like this ...every sucker's done the same things that I did. I don't know. I must find a reason, an excuse or whatever to find the motivation to go on another 20 years. Until I die.

Should I start my life all over I'd want to make porn movies. It's all clear. The people who do that understand the human race. Either you're born with a cock which has to be a big hard dick filling snatches. Or you're born with a pussy which has to be filled with cock. In both scenarios you'll still be alone.

Yeah, I'm a dick. That's it. I'm a sad, sad dick... and to earn some respect I must be hard all the time.

(I Stand Alone)