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[Venus Van Dam]

If her face is asymmetrical, have you tried to look only at one hemisphere at a time?

 

[Mawnster]

Sounds like he's just being brutally honest, really. Most people (and most of you) probably operate on a similar principle, even if you pretend not to.

Yeah no, I'm no Sheldon Cooper, making my significant other sign a contract before we get married that makes them promise they won't gain weight. I do not reject friends based on their physical appearance because why the fuck would that affect me in any way? And I sure as hell don't make "fat girls cry" just because they decided to flirt with me since I'm not a twat. You can just say say no, thanks, and move on. You don't need to specifically tell them you find them repulsive and hurt them.

The only defendable points are:

• You don't have to date fat people if you don't feel attracted to them.
• You have the right to dump your partner if they have let themselves go and you don't find them attractive anymore (arguable, but whatever).

The rest? Nope. Ridiculous.

 

[CrazyHorse]

You're sounding kind of like shallow prick in that OP, like, you are not particularly making us root for you in this situation.

Don't worry I am not rooting for myself. I caused this mess and don't mind suffering for it.

 

[CoolOff]

[*]You have the right to dump your partner if they have let themselves go and you don't find them attractive anymore (arguable, but whatever).

How is that arguable?

 

[Lan Dong Mik]

I have no fat female friends and I have never and will never date a fat overweight girl either. If I ever get married and the wife starts to gain weight, I will give her a chance to lose it otherwise I am gone- this type of agreement will be in a contract the future wife will need to sign before marriage. I don't care how much I love the person she will get dropped for becoming fat. I've even made a fat girl cry because she wanted to get with me and I proceeded to tell her how fat she is and how repulsive it makes her look.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Yeah no, I'm no Sheldon Cooper, making my significant other sign a contract before we get married that makes them promise they won't gain weight. I do not reject friends based on their physical appearance because why the fuck would that affect me in any way? And I sure as hell don't make "fat girls cry" just because they decided to flirt with me since I'm not a twat. You can just say say no, thanks, and move on. You don't need to specifically tell them you find them repulsive and hurt them.

The only defendable points are:

• You don't have to date fat people if you don't feel attracted to them.
• You have the right to dump your partner if they have let themselves go and you don't find them attractive anymore (arguable, but whatever).

The rest? Nope. Ridiculous.

It's not arguable and can affect your happiness/life past sex, appearance and health (people usually concentrate on those 3)

 

[CrazyHorse]

It's not arguable and can affect your happiness/life past sex, appearance and health (people usually concentrate on those 3)

Is this certain?

 

[Vicetrailia]

Is this certain?

Mileage may vary.

But it is excuseable, you have the "right" meaning no one should look down on you for making that your chief reason.

 

[Mawnster]

How is that arguable?

It's not arguable and can affect your happiness/life past sex, appearance and health (people usually concentrate on those 3)

Sigh, I knew I should've elaborated. I only said arguable because to some of us, our partners putting on weight doesn't bother us at all. They don't turn into hideous monsters and all of the sudden we are incapable of loving them anymore. However, I can understand why it would bother some other people. That's why I said arguable.

Key word, some.

 

[HeelPower]

Have you thought about how attraction/attractiveness fades ?

It most certainly does.Doubly so in absence of a strong character.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Sigh, I knew I should've elaborated. I only said arguable because to some of us, our partners putting on weight doesn't bother us at all. They don't turn into hideous monsters and all of the sudden we are incapable of loving them anymore. However, I can understand why it would bother some other people. That's why I said arguable.

Key word, some.

Oh okay, I got ya.

 

[stn]

I noticed some people saying that looks can fade. So can personality, too. People can easily become bitter, uninterested, negative, etc...

 

[LordKasual]

Yeah no, I'm no Sheldon Cooper, making my significant other sign a contract before we get married that makes them promise they won't gain weight. I do not reject friends based on their physical appearance because why the fuck would that affect me in any way? And I sure as hell don't make "fat girls cry" just because they decided to flirt with me since I'm not a twat. You can just say say no, thanks, and move on. You don't need to specifically tell them you find them repulsive and hurt them.

The only defendable points are:

• You don't have to date fat people if you don't feel attracted to them.
• You have the right to dump your partner if they have let themselves go and you don't find them attractive anymore (arguable, but whatever).

The rest? Nope. Ridiculous.

weelllll i mean the part about being so disgusted with a fat person being attracted to you that you feel the need to stomp on their self-esteem is not really what I had in mind

the concept of simply not being attracted to fat people is more what I was getting it lol

not wanting to have fat friends (specifically female friends) sounds alot more like an aversion to looking unattractive by association, which in itself sounds like a personal self-esteem issue

 

[Aphexian]

I am better looking than her and it's not often that you see a husband with a less attractive wife.

You seem like a dick.

 

[Wolfe]

Okay?

I always love responses like this. I mean clearly you get why people were making an issue with your post and yet instead of just owning up to your misstep you try to deflect and avoid.

"Yeah my mistake, should have clarified."

Not hard.

Sounds like he's just being brutally honest, really.

Sounds like he's just being a huge asshole actually.

Edit: just saw your recent post, I see what you mean now but this is why people need to clarify!

 

[T.O.P]

I always love responses like this. I mean clearly you get why people were making an issue with your post and yet instead of just owning up to your misstep you try to deflect and avoid.

"Yeah my mistake, should have clarified."

Not hard.

As i did on my next post you mean?


'kay

 

[CrazyHorse]

You seem like a dick.

You know what? I like it when someone corrects me.

I have no right to say that I am better looking than her. She actually has physical attributes better than me. All this is about how I feel personally.

Anyway I spoke to her about my doubts and she asked to break it all off. She was rather angry understandably. Unfortunately I did mention that sometimes attraction is a problem and that was a mistake. I never gave details but it's a killer thing to say. It came out because I was suggesting seeing her without the scarf (which is allowed before marriage) but I blew it.

Now I realize even more how much I like her and wish things were different. I am hoping that my mind can come to like those things that caused me doubts and sometimes I even hope that it was other things that caused doubts (e.g. over reaction or stress). Sometimes I can't even remember why I had doubts. It's just that when I was with her a few times they would come to me and really bother me, but I don't know why. This girl is a gem and I/(my brain) am a fool for having things go this way. I hope my mind changes even if she never wants me back. I do want to like her in every way even if I can never have her. I hope I get some nice dreams about her.

Being in love but having some physical attraction issues is a killer. You want to be with them but one or two small things really bother you. Good bye my beloved :-(

 

[RedSparrows]

You know what? I like it when someone corrects me.

I have no right to say that I am better looking than her. She actually has physical attributes better than me. All this is about how I feel personally.

Anyway I spoke to her about my doubts and she asked to break it all off. She was rather angry understandably. Unfortunately I did mention that sometimes attraction is a problem and that was a mistake. I never gave details but it's a killer thing to say. It came out because I was suggesting seeing her without the scarf (which is allowed before marriage) but I blew it.

Now I realize even more how much I like her and wish things were different. I am hoping that my mind can come to like those things that caused me doubts and sometimes I even hope that it was other things that caused doubts (e.g. over reaction or stress). Sometimes I can't even remember why I had doubts. It's just that when I was with her a few times they would come to me and really bother me, but I don't know why. This girl is a gem and I/(my brain) am a fool for having things go this way. I hope my mind changes even if she never wants me back. I do want to like her in every way even if I can never have her. I hope I get some nice dreams about her.

Being in love but having some physical attraction issues is a killer. You want to be with them but one or two small things really bother you. Good bye my beloved :-(

Learning experience.

We all do stupid things.

dude

etc.

Also, the fat nazis above would probably slag off me for my tummy, and my gf for her... ass. She's beautiful. Get tae fuck.

 

[labx]

You know what? I like it when someone corrects me.

I have no right to say that I am better looking than her. She actually has physical attributes better than me. All this is about how I feel personally.

Anyway I spoke to her about my doubts and she asked to break it all off. She was rather angry understandably. Unfortunately I did mention that sometimes attraction is a problem and that was a mistake. I never gave details but it's a killer thing to say. It came out because I was suggesting seeing her without the scarf (which is allowed before marriage) but I blew it.

Now I realize even more how much I like her and wish things were different. I am hoping that my mind can come to like those things that caused me doubts and sometimes I even hope that it was other things that caused doubts (e.g. over reaction or stress). Sometimes I can't even remember why I had doubts. It's just that when I was with her a few times they would come to me and really bother me, but I don't know why. This girl is a gem and I/(my brain) am a fool for having things go this way. I hope my mind changes even if she never wants me back. I do want to like her in every way even if I can never have her. I hope I get some nice dreams about her.

Being in love but having some physical attraction issues is a killer. You want to be with them but one or two small things really bother you. Good bye my beloved :-(

I don't think that if you are in love, you have issues with the physical attraction. You love your partner the way they are. You overcome the defects and don't mind them because you found their beauty as a whole. Love doesn't work like this: "I love my gf man, I think she has a good body, nice hair but that gum problem tho..." It works like this: "I love my gf man, she is beautiful regardless... (insert whatever defect)"

You now OP, Lesson learned, Stephen Hawking said one time "The universe doesn't allow perfection." So, who do you think you are to be looking for it?

Learning experience.

We all do stupid things.

dude

etc.

Also, the fat nazis above would probably slag off me for my tummy, and my gf for her... ass. She's beautiful. Get tae fuck.

I like you RedSparrows, you seem a cool dude.

 

[ELAMOR]

I have no fat female friends and I have never and will never date a fat overweight girl either. If I ever get married and the wife starts to gain weight, I will give her a chance to lose it otherwise I am gone- this type of agreement will be in a contract the future wife will need to sign before marriage. I don't care how much I love the person she will get dropped for becoming fat. I've even made a fat girl cry because she wanted to get with me and I proceeded to tell her how fat she is and how repulsive it makes her look. .

oh wow....

 

[CrazyHorse]

I don't think that if you are in love, you have issues with the physical attraction. You love your partner the way they are. You overcome the defects and don't mind them because you found their beauty as a whole. Love doesn't work like this: "I love my gf man, I think she has a good body, nice hair but that gum problem tho..." It works like this: "I love my gf man, she is beautiful regardless... (insert whatever defect)"

You now OP, Lesson learned, Stephen Hawking said one time “The universe doesn't allow perfection.” So, who do you think you are to be looking for it?

Your words are wise my friend!!

I have been working on my perceptions in the last couple of days and my love is increasing and I am actually finding myself beginning to like those things I disliked. I am going to give it some weeks perhaps and if my feelings are stronger I may approach her again. I am just afraid that a while after marriage things may revert. So that's why I am giving it time before I try again.

Neogaf has helped me and I am grateful for that.

 

[Gintamen]

Again with marriage... date her, see if it works out, marriage should be years away.

 

[labx]

Your words are wise my friend!!

I have been working on my perceptions in the last couple of days and my love is increasing and I am actually finding myself beginning to like those things I disliked. I am going to give it some weeks perhaps and if my feelings are stronger I may approach her again. I am just afraid that a while after marriage things may revert. So that's why I am giving it time before I try again.

Neogaf has helped me and I am grateful for that.

It's nothing OP, thank you for your words, you are most that welcome. I hope you can find solace and peace in your alone time away from her. Sometimes when you are so deep in the forest you only see the trunks. You need perspective.

edit: I now the marriage thing is a cultural/religious endeavor for you. But you don't have to follow those traditions and customs right away. One step at a time, get to know her better, date other women if you want, etc.