Cindi Mayweather
Member
When I say "the opposite" I don't mean feminine or non-aggressive either.
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Can someone explain mansplaining to me?
- Thread starter Kinitari
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When I say "the opposite" I don't mean feminine or non-aggressive either.
Audioboxer
Member
Ah sorry I just meant I'm the opposite, that wasn't a remark on your post. I've ended a few friendships from younger days that started in high school as guy friends of mine just didn't learn and take any advice given, even mine, to stop treating their girlfriends, most who ended up heartbroken ex's as trophies or pieces of meat. I've got zero issues cutting shitty people out of my life. As you get older it gets easier to do as well.
efyu_lemonardo
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Oh wow, thanks for the very detailed reply and all the links. I will look into all of those!
(Regarding "culturally dominant", you are correct)
It's depressing that some dudes are willing to resort to believing in some fucked up sense of biology and "human nature" to avoid any blame or responsibility. In fact, it's fucking scary.
JesseEwiak
Member
The most obvious and hilarious example of mansplaining was a guy in line for the movie trying to explain who Deadpool was to Gail Simone, a person who wrote Deadpool for many issues.
Did he know who Gail Simone was?
It doesn't really matter if he did. Like imagine you're lined up for The midnight release of CoD and some dude comes to you and starts explaining to you what CoD is .
efyu_lemonardo
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As someone who has also lived their whole life with it as well as read a few studies on the topic I can say that an individual's personal experience is not representative of the experience of every male on the planet. If you'll excuse the slightly crude comparison, I've known women who experience agonizing periods and women for whom they are practically painless through most of their life. The same of course goes for pregnancy. Suggesting some people may need help dealing with physiological/hormonal shifts isn't meant to be a one size fits all solution, but it very well may be helpful for a significant subset of people.
jim-jam bongs
Member
I'm glad we have a thread where men can explain how mansplaining doesn't exist
Or how it somehow shuts down intellectual discourse
weemadarthur
Member
a REAL Deadpool fan would have known who she was
Woah this shit blew up.
Uhm, I think I can understand and appreciate why people generally don't like gendered phrases like this applied to the gender they associate with, or even any gender - I haven't heard this phrase used enough to hear it abused but I'm sure it can be.
However, I think in some contexts it can be, at the very least, relatively harmless. My friend who was talking to me about it didn't use it to shut down discussion with this random guy, she just used it to sort of preface the the observed behaviour with a known phenomena, I think. I have a better idea of what it all means now, and I've observed similar phenomena in my life.
I think if someone is using the term as a shorthand to describe something they observed that day, it doesn't seem all that offensive to me - as long as it's an accurate example. If a gyno is telling a woman about how birth works, and she's like a software dev and says "Man this doctor tried to mansplain pregnancy to me, can you believe him?" It's bad and she should feel bad. If someone is using it to shut down discussion with someone, even more so in my opinion (I seriously hate anything that tries to do that).
But overall, I think it's probably fine to just deal with it case to case. If you know someone who's always using the phrase as a form of protectionism or something, whatever they're dumb. I don't know if I endorse it, but I think that dumb person is probably going to say dumb thing whether or not they have that phrase available to them.
Uhm, I think I can understand and appreciate why people generally don't like gendered phrases like this applied to the gender they associate with, or even any gender - I haven't heard this phrase used enough to hear it abused but I'm sure it can be.
However, I think in some contexts it can be, at the very least, relatively harmless. My friend who was talking to me about it didn't use it to shut down discussion with this random guy, she just used it to sort of preface the the observed behaviour with a known phenomena, I think. I have a better idea of what it all means now, and I've observed similar phenomena in my life.
I think if someone is using the term as a shorthand to describe something they observed that day, it doesn't seem all that offensive to me - as long as it's an accurate example. If a gyno is telling a woman about how birth works, and she's like a software dev and says "Man this doctor tried to mansplain pregnancy to me, can you believe him?" It's bad and she should feel bad. If someone is using it to shut down discussion with someone, even more so in my opinion (I seriously hate anything that tries to do that).
But overall, I think it's probably fine to just deal with it case to case. If you know someone who's always using the phrase as a form of protectionism or something, whatever they're dumb. I don't know if I endorse it, but I think that dumb person is probably going to say dumb thing whether or not they have that phrase available to them.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Bahaha so true
efyu_lemonardo
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weemadarthur
Member
Audioboxer
Member
My head is hurting only a few pages into that topic. Missed it in the making.
weemadarthur
Member
Very well then. REFUSE to enjoy your sociological research! See if I could care less.
Audioboxer
Member
Lol no I'm enjoying reading it. I mean my head is hurting because WTF at some of the replies.
Oh remember some hilariously stupid, unnecessary, counter "arguments" to that.
"Men dies 4 years earlier so we should be able to retire 4 years earlier."
"Men have higher metabolism so we should get a tax break on food."
And the best one ever.
"Men make more money so we should get a lower tax bracket."
I was literally laughing at that.
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Anyway, Mayweather. Is it really that common?
All I'm getting is that more men are really disgusting. In a higher quantity than I would believe and I was a jock and a military man for a few years.weemadarthur
Member
I know what you mean. I was just being funny. Didn't you notice the grammar bait?
Audioboxer
Member
It's 3am here I should be sleeping lol.
You damaged his brain sending him to that thread, what did you expect?
Or he self inflicted it by staying up late.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Anyway, Mayweather. Is it really that common?
Common to the point where as a precaution a lot of mothers teach their daughters to not let men pick them up on the first date so they don't know where they live. Or go to his place on the first date. Or go anywhere private. Essentially, you have to prove yourself not a danger to a woman's safety during dating. Safety is a huge issue. I personally have a system set up with my best friend so that when we go on dates, we have to send a text by 11 pm to say we are ok. If the person on the date hasn't checked in by midnight then we have a deal that we have to call the police to where we had the date. It could be possible one of us forgot to because we are having so much fun but it's not worth the risk nor the intimacy. We do this until trust between our date is maintained. This wouldn't be necessary unless it's a common problem.
But further down, it's common but a lot of men are just not aware of it. I'm sure the men who talk over me at work and instantly go to the man I'm working with and for his perspective aren't often doing it out of malice. But I mean, it happens.
A lot of guys have a good nature and I don't think they genuinely mean harm. I think a lot of men would stop doing this stuff if they were aware of it. But a lot of guys are also extremely hostile and surprisingly creepy/scary/violent if we turn them down or ignore them. The problem is you never know what you're going to get. Dating is a roll of the dice and a wrong match could have really bad results, physically or emotionally, so it's always best to err on the side of caution.
I hate to say this but this is also why I like sports type guys. They tend to be more well rounded and not so bitter about stuff like a lot of geeky guys. I know it's a stereotype though.
Crap, I hate this. Not that you're doing it but that it's necessary. Really hoping that pilot study with male role models works great so we can prevent more shitty boys growing up to shitty men. Another voice of reason is always good.
For that work thing. It weirder me out a few months back when this course handler at work shined when I actually shock her hand first and thanking her for setting it up. Was about safety at work. I thank GAF for that as apparently many ignore women on that, think it was a GAF thread that brought it up at least. It's such a small thing to actually acknowledge everyone but I caught up with her later on an asked her about it, yes I like to ask questions, and yes, apparently many of us had totally ignored her and her role in all.
Yes it's true she didn't stand in the scene walking us through everything, she wasn't seen in the spotlight but she did a lot of work. She found these people, she correlated everyone's schedule, she made sure all 2100(the Swedish part) attended the lecture, engineers, floor workers and higher ups, she set everything up and only a handful of us actually did the basic thing of shaking her hand as well. I don't think people did that out of malice but just...didn't think :/
The important part is not the part with testosterone, is the part with small levels of testosterone even for women standards and the whole in between.
Knowing WHAT changed and how that has NOTHING to do with anything even closely related to how I treat people who I am sexually attracted to and 95% of the changes were related to how my metabolism and body hair reacted to it =P
Switch Back 9
a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Now see this here is a bit irritating and a bad example. I went and saw Deadpool with my girlfriend, who had no idea who the character was or anything other than it was a comic book movie with Ryan Reynolds. Had I been in the bathroom or something, and this guy said the same thing to her that he said to Gail it would have gone completely differently. Just because they're in the line doesn't mean they're familiar with the character or story.
PLUS Simone herself defended the guy saying he was innocently trying to make conversation and not being a condescending dick. Her twitter followers and people like you made it out to be a way bigger deal than it was.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Another thing to consider.
This doesn't get brought up in real life much because honestly, it's really bigger on the Internet and especially in nerd havens like neogaf and other forums which breed grounds where men can get away being bitter that they're not getting laid and that "women don't go for nice guys like us." Which is why you're seeing this term mostly online.
This doesn't get brought up in real life much because honestly, it's really bigger on the Internet and especially in nerd havens like neogaf and other forums which breed grounds where men can get away being bitter that they're not getting laid and that "women don't go for nice guys like us." Which is why you're seeing this term mostly online.
efyu_lemonardo
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Wow that was a fun read! And the part about mansplaining a woman's period wasn't even the best part. #FurTrapping
Langdon Alger
Banned
What's the proper emotion to feel when you can't get laid?
How About No
Member
"I think I'm gonna jerk off"?
jim-jam bongs
Member
Dunno, it's never happened to me
Forerunner
Member
Post on GAF ofc!
Angelus Errare
Banned
Figure out what is it about you that prevents it.
Snowman Prophet of Doom
Member
Is there anybody saying that they "can't help but rape"? Rape, like all forms of predation, is a function of opportunity and means, and genetics DO make men bigger, more aggressive, and have stronger sex drives with less discrimination in selecting partners. So, yes, it is reasonable to say that the root cause of rape is genetic, in that genes give men the tools to weaponize sex, for their own reasons, when the opportunities to do so arise, which I'd argue they unavoidably will, in any sociocultural configuration you might devise.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Ouch, that's harsh.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Work on it and find out why.
I posted earlier that I can get laid but not get a relationship. There's a hopeful in that department now thankfully. People are going to talk and need support. It happens. The problem is a lot of men online in geek enclaves act like sex is a currency they're owed and not a consensual manner of bonding.
Snowman Prophet of Doom
Member
I mean, considering the average man has a lower value in the sexual marketplace than the average woman just on the basis of the differential in average sex drive and partner discrimination between the two groups, and that the X chromosome's much greater genetic variance is highly suggestive of a historical trend of men being shut out of the reproductive process far more often than women, I'd suggest, again, that this is more an embedded feature of human sexuality than something that is specifically culturally learned. Relative lack of access, real or perceived, to something a large portion of your body is designed for and screaming at you to achieve is bound to breed bitterness, and given humans are often pretty psychologically weak and non-self-reflective creatures, it's not surprising this gets turned back around to clueless entitlement.
Langdon Alger
Banned
Any argument that mentions biology in any way will fall on deaf ears here.
weemadarthur
Member
Why will it fall on deaf ears?
Good post.
It's true. A lot of guys just get salty when they don't get laid. Well c'mon bro. Turn some of that energy into the passion and drive necessary for transforming yourself into someone ladies actually want to date and hook up with.
Don't get mad at the players, or the game. Make yourself competitive.
efyu_lemonardo
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Well now this thread has truly come full circle. Still can't believe he thought it was a good idea to go with #cuntfusing
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
Is explaining to my gf that an air conditioner on at night won't have any negative health effects mansplaining?
(She's chinese and believes in that korean fan death thing but with air conditioners).
(She's chinese and believes in that korean fan death thing but with air conditioners).
It must be a great struggle for him. He should name his next game Mine Kampf
oh god I'm so sorry everyone
I looked up the tweet. Feeling pretty A-OK about having never played or bought into Minecraft. XD
Cindi Mayweather
Member
I think it'd be a mix of both. It's natural for you to want to procreate. I have the same longing and want to have a baby. But I also feel it's social, probably more so. A man with a good head on his shoulders would, rather than blame women that he's not getting any sex, realize that there's probably something he's doing wrong before turning bitter.
Let's be real, a lot of men in nerd havens have grown bitter not through genetics but pure socialization. While a generalization, on a site like neogaf, a lot if the guys are going to be men who grew up resenting "jocks" and "bad boys" and that women/girls are clearly not considering the endless potential of dating a nerd like them. This shit starts early - as early as middle school, and you're telling me that it's purely biology that makes men bitter they're not getting a chance to take their crush to the school dance?
shinra-bansho
Member
May have been posted but here's an article and video:
http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talk...laining-what-happens-when-men-talk-over-women
The video is a bunch of examples about mansplaining and interruptions and notes things like stats about how decision making discussion is dominated by men.
http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talk...laining-what-happens-when-men-talk-over-women
The video is a bunch of examples about mansplaining and interruptions and notes things like stats about how decision making discussion is dominated by men.
I love this site, always so much on point xD
No because you KNOW exactly the knowledge your gf has on the matter. Mansplaining has more to do with the fact that most men usualy see a girl and think "she does not understand this topic" just because she is a girl
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