Support NeoGAF

[efyu_lemonardo]

Yeah, outside of the us the stats are even more alarming. Women make up 90% of the victims.

The original quote was that in 2 out of 3 cases of homicide where the victim was a woman, the perpetrator was a partner or family member. In that context what does your 90% number mean?

I think there's some confusion here. Unless we're talking about something other than homicides, then by far more men are killed each year than women.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homicide_statistics_by_gender
In fact, out of the small number of countries where this is the exception only 3-4 had reported a large number of homicides to begin with and in none of those countries could I find a significant gap between the number of female and male victims.

Are we separating domestic and sex related homicide from general homicide? What am I missing here?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

Edit: rereading some posts, it seems you meant that outside of the US 90% of victims of domestic homicide are women?

 

[paragonpro]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

 

[A Link to the Past]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

Well then, can I ask how many people you've talked with on this issue who believe that mansplaining is a real and legitimate thing that happens?

 

[paragonpro]

Well then, can I ask how many people you've talked with on this issue who believe that mansplaining is a real and legitimate thing that happens?

Mostly just my friend who is a very hardcore feminist, as she usually has a better understanding of these things than I do. I dont doubt that its a thing that happens, that women still get talked down to. But its not just women this happens to. It can come from anyone who has a superiority complex about them. Im a guy and ive come across it before at school and work. What me and my friend were both in agreement on however is that thd term "mansplaining" has lost its original meaning and is now used as a one note sign off to silence differentiating opinions.

 

[snarge]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

I keep hearing that it's a "silencing tactic". Why is this? Does it ever actually work as a way to silence the target? Do men just give up, sulk, and go home when they hear it? I don't think so. It's not silencing tactic, it's a snarky insult, plain and simple. If the person who receives it can't figure out how to retort, then I don't know what to say. Git gud at arguing?

And don't worry about making friends on GAF! I appreciate honest opinions and discourse, so get em out there.

 

[Infinite]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

The thing about mansplaining is that it occurs where there was no argument or even a discussion happening.

 

[Nudull]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=824698

It gets kinda weird as the thread go on, when you see a few suggest that if a girl just had sex with him the whole thing could have been avoided.

Gods, that thread...

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

Except it really isn't. Most opinions that go with the mansplaining tend to be used towards correcting women when they didn't ask or need it, since again, there are dudes who are compelled to put women down no matter what. You could have an opinion and still say it in a super-shitty way.

Also, triggers and trigger warnings are still perfectly valid. It's assholes who think they're above decency and empathy that's the bigger issue, constantly mocking them and spitting in the eye of folks who even so much as request them in the name of "teaching them kids about the real world".

 

[weemadarthur]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

Would you please do me a favor before continuing to discuss, given that you base your understanding of women's issues on what one single young woman has to say? I would like you to pause, and think of a parallel dimension. In this parallel dimension, every time you've seen a person use the term "mansplain", they were in fact 100% accurate. Now please consider all the times you've seen it. If the user was accurate to use the word, was discussion halted? Or did discussion continue?

 

[Audioboxer]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

People may use it, in fact people may use anything as a silencing tactic. That is on those individuals complete lack of ability to be involved in discourse though, not a status quo.

It is not a one shoe fits all scenario where you can just drive-by and say "it's used to silence, kthx".

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I agree with Notch here. Its a way to silence an opinion you dont like without the real need for a counter argument. Unfortunatley its kind of like what "triggered" (a word that started out having good intentions) has become. I know this post wont make me a lot of friends here. But thats what I honestly belive.

Men's opinions have never been silenced. We've just had thin skin or bad arguments.

It's like Trump saying he was being silenced and censored when he was live back to back to back on all three major news networks to tell us that.

 

[Nephix]

The biggest problem with the word "Mansplaining" is that it makes it more difficult for people with social phobia and other psychological disorders to speak up.
Like, it's already damn difficult for some to talk in public or express their own opinion even among friends, why make it harder?

I suffer from a disorder myself and I can say for certain that the rise of the word "Mansplaining" has made me more drawn back and I tend not to post anything anywhere; here or on other places.
If my opinion doesn't matter only by virtue of being a man, I might as well just shut up and kill myself; Is what it feels like sometimes. Sorry for the strong words but for me personally, it's a problem.

 

[ClosingADoor]

The biggest problem with the word "Mansplaining" is that it makes it more difficult for people with social phobia and other psychological disorders to speak up.
Like, it's already damn difficult for some to talk in public or express their own opinion even among friends, why make it harder?

I suffer from a disorder myself and I can say for certain that the rise of the word "Mansplaining" has made me more drawn back and I tend not to post anything anywhere; here or on other places.
If my opinion doesn't matter only by virtue of being a man, I might as well just shut up and kill myself; Is what it feels like sometimes. Sorry for the strong words but for me personally, it's a problem.

Honestly, that is more an issue you have yourself then something that others force on you.

 

[Audioboxer]

The biggest problem with the word "Mansplaining" is that it makes it more difficult for people with social phobia and other psychological disorders to speak up.
Like, it's already damn difficult for some to talk in public or express their own opinion even among friends, why make it harder?

I suffer from a disorder myself and I can say for certain that the rise of the word "Mansplaining" has made me more drawn back and I tend not to post anything anywhere; here or on other places.
If my opinion doesn't matter only by virtue of being a man, I might as well just shut up and kill myself; Is what it feels like sometimes. Sorry for the strong words but for me personally, it's a problem.

Honestly, that is more an issue you have yourself then something that others force on you.

Yeah, I agree with Closing. Sorry about your struggles, but in a world of free speech you have every right to share yourself and your feelings regardless of gender. Just make sure it's constructive and be prepared to be challenged. Don't be scared by default. That is what it is to be human (to have yourself challenged and grow/mature into a wiser person).

If friends simply shut you down for no good reason, then that is just bad company. Bad ideas need to be fought with good ideas, not just shut down. However NeoGAF isn't high school/your parents and obviously will ban for outright obnoxious people and remarks. Most of which probably have a post history of multiple things showing an unwillingness to learn and/or constant unnecessary jibes at folks on the board/folks in general.

 

[partyphone]

The biggest problem with the word "Mansplaining" is that it makes it more difficult for people with social phobia and other psychological disorders to speak up.
Like, it's already damn difficult for some to talk in public or express their own opinion even among friends, why make it harder?

I suffer from a disorder myself and I can say for certain that the rise of the word "Mansplaining" has made me more drawn back and I tend not to post anything anywhere; here or on other places.
If my opinion doesn't matter only by virtue of being a man, I might as well just shut up and kill myself; Is what it feels like sometimes. Sorry for the strong words but for me personally, it's a problem.

It seems like you have a misconception of what mansplaining is. it's not that all men are wrong because they're men. just don't be a condescending jerk, especially towards women and other marginalized people. it's not hard to do if you're just a little bit thoughtful.

 

[Sai-kun]

I'm so sick of the way people communicate

Same but unironically

 

[Pau]

The biggest problem with the word "Mansplaining" is that it makes it more difficult for people with social phobia and other psychological disorders to speak up.
Like, it's already damn difficult for some to talk in public or express their own opinion even among friends, why make it harder?

I suffer from a disorder myself and I can say for certain that the rise of the word "Mansplaining" has made me more drawn back and I tend not to post anything anywhere; here or on other places.
If my opinion doesn't matter only by virtue of being a man, I might as well just shut up and kill myself; Is what it feels like sometimes. Sorry for the strong words but for me personally, it's a problem.

I think you misunderstood the word. It does not mean that your opinion doesn't matter ny virtue of being a man. If you want to define the word in relation to yourself, it just means if you're going to explain something to a woman 1) don't assume she needs the explanation so don't do it unprompted and 2) don't deny women's experiences in discussions - particularly if they seem to refute your argument.

An example of #1 that I already gave in the thread: I cosplayed as The Question at a con. A lot of men (and only men) came up to me saying "You probably don't know anything about the character you're dressed as so let me tell you something about them..." Don't assume a woman doesn't know anything about what she's doing just because she's a woman. You can extrapolate this to work, school, etc. If you don't do stuff like the above, congrats, mansplaining doesn't apply to you.

(I'll add that if someone seems like they're struggling with something, sure, politely ask if they would like help. But that's not the cases we're talking about.)

 

[Audioboxer]

I think you misunderstood the word. It does not mean that your opinion doesn't matter ny virtue of being a man. If you want to define the word in relation to yourself, it just means if you're going to explain something to a woman 1) don't assume she needs the explanation so don't do it unprompted and 2) don't deny women's experiences in discussions - particularly if they seem to refute your argument.

An example of #1 that I already gave in the thread: I cosplayed as The Question at a con. A lot of men (and only men) came up to me saying "You probably don't know anything about the character you're dressed as so let me tell you something about them..." Don't assume a woman doesn't know anything about what she's doing just because she's a woman. You can extrapolate this to work, school, etc. If someone seems like they're struggling with something, sure, ask if they would like help.

If anything that is just like the rudest thing possible. I've never gone up to anyone I don't know, or even know and said "you look like you need me to explain that/this to you...". I just can't... Why? smh

Any time I've spoken to a cosplayer it's just been to say awesome costume, or fan squeal a little and say I love that game/movie/tv show or whatever.

 

[Pau]

If anything that is just like the rudest thing possible. I've never gone up to anyone I don't know, or even know and said "you look like you need me to explain that/this to you...". I just can't... Why? smh

Any time I've spoken to a cosplayer it's just been to say awesome costume, or fan squeal a little and say I love that game/movie/tv show or whatever.

I talked to some guys who were either cosplaying as the same hero or had before and none of them experienced this stuff. I think a lot of people assume that girls cosplay only for attention and don't do it because they're actually fans or some nonsense. I don't know if those comments were intended to come of as rude or if those guys just were excited to teach me some (usually incorret) facts about the character? I dunno. I get wanting to talk about the character, but it's not that hard to just preface it with "Hey what did you think about x storyline or characterization?"

 

[Lego Boss]

Is it like explaining the offside rule to a woman

 

[Audioboxer]

I talked to some guys who were either cosplaying as the same hero or had before and none of them experienced this stuff. I think a lot of people assume that girls cosplay only for attention and don't do it because they're actually fans or some nonsense. I don't know if those comments were intended to come of as rude or if those guys just were excited to teach me some (usually incorret) facts about the character? I dunno. I get wanting to talk about the character, but it's not that hard to just preface it with "Hey what did you think about x storyline or characterization?"

Yeah exactly, that is the normal respectful way for a human to act. I'd be ashamed of myself charging up to someone and trying to play an educator.

I mean so what if someone even dresses up as a character without playing the game anyway? My ex-GF dressed as Amaterasu at EGX a few years back. I gush over that game (Okami) but she never got around to playing it, just seen me hump it constantly and go on about my platinum trophy. No one treated her like that, just wanted some pictures or to say nice costume. She even won a prize on the EGX cosplay stage. Was proud of her as first time cosplaying.

 

[weemadarthur]

Is it like explaining the offside rule to a woman

There are 573 posts explaining what it is and isn't. Perhaps you could start by reading them?

 

[Lego Boss]

There are 573 posts explaining what it is and isn't. Perhaps you could start by reading them?

Sorry, it was meant to be joke.

 

[The Flash]

Are people who make these kinds of threads looking for a GAFsplaination?

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Jesus Christ. That's a lot of new posts.

Welp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sySZbdCOBRs

 

[Nephix]

I think you misunderstood the word. It does not mean that your opinion doesn't matter ny virtue of being a man. If you want to define the word in relation to yourself, it just means if you're going to explain something to a woman 1) don't assume she needs the explanation so don't do it unprompted and 2) don't deny women's experiences in discussions - particularly if they seem to refute your argument.

An example of #1 that I already gave in the thread: I cosplayed as The Question at a con. A lot of men (and only men) came up to me saying "You probably don't know anything about the character you're dressed as so let me tell you something about them..." Don't assume a woman doesn't know anything about what she's doing just because she's a woman. You can extrapolate this to work, school, etc. If you don't do stuff like the above, congrats, mansplaining doesn't apply to you.

(I'll add that if someone seems like they're struggling with something, sure, politely ask if they would like help. But that's not the cases we're talking about.)

Maybe it's because I'm lucky enough to have good people around me but I've literally never in my 26 something years on this planet caught a man trying to explain something to a woman thinking she's clueless about the subject because she's a woman.
And it's not like I live a sheltered life, I've been around the world many times in my life thus far all while learning new languages and getting to know different cultures.

Literally every conversation I've ever been part of starts with - "Do you know about X?"

Unless it's mansplaining and misogynistic to even ask the question if the person you're talking to is familiar with something? You never know if someone knows about a certain thing until you ask if they know about it.
But then again maybe you're always pretty much alone in being interested in a certain thing and assume everyone regardless of gender doesn't know much about it and you proceed to explain without asking the question.

 

[Sylas]

Maybe it's because I'm lucky enough to have good people around me but I've literally never in my 26 something years on this planet caught a man trying to explain something to a woman thinking she's clueless about the subject because she's a woman.
And it's not like I live a sheltered life, I've been around the world many times in my life thus far all while learning new languages and getting to know different cultures.

Literally every conversation I've ever been part of starts with - "Do you know about X?"

Unless it's mansplaining and misogynistic to even ask the question if the person you're talking to is familiar with something? You never know if someone knows about a certain thing until you ask if they know about it.
But then again maybe you're always pretty much alone in being interested in a certain thing and assume everyone regardless of gender doesn't know much about it and you proceed to explain without asking the question.

That last bit seems a lot like sniping and passive aggressive commentary. Maybe don't do that. Or maybe I'm reading into it incorrectly! I'd go so far as to say you are lucky if you've never seen it firsthand--though you're really going a long way towards explaining why you don't think it's a thing when people have actual accounts of it happening to them.

So, y'know. Cognitive dissonance at work here. It's fine to disagree but using your own experience to invalidate another person's is just another version of mansplaining.

"I've never experienced this so clearly it's not a thing."

You very nearly hit the nail on the head. Don't ask loaded questions. They make it seem like you're chomping at the bit to explain 'em a thing. If someone is cosplaying--to use the person you quoted's example--don't ask if they know who the character is. Don't assume they don't know something that is very clearly on display. There's no real harm in asking someone, "Hey, did you know..." or, "Man, I never realized..."

Also:

The dude goes on to say he was joking but he also had lots of people trying to defend him by saying he was in the right.

 

[mollipen]

I keep hearing that it's a "silencing tactic". Why is this? Does it ever actually work as a way to silence the target?

I think it does at times come along with the attitude "you're wrong but you're just supposed to know why you're wrong and I'm not going to explain it to you." I don't know that I'd exactly call that a silencing tactic, but it's definitely something intended to have no actual conversation about the situation take place.

The thing about "mansplaining" is that sometimes it's guys who legitimately are trying to be helpful but don't understand how their "help" will be received on the other end. And at times when it isn't that, we already have words that don't instantly put the person on the defensive because of who they are (not what they're doing).

 

[Sylas]

I think it does at times come along with the attitude "you're wrong but you're just supposed to know why you're wrong and I'm not going to explain it to you." I don't know that I'd exactly call that a silencing tactic, but it's definitely something intended to have no actual conversation about the situation take place.

The thing about "mansplaining" is that sometimes it's guys who legitimately are trying to be helpful but don't understand how their "help" will be received on the other end. And at times when it isn't that, we already have words that don't instantly put the person on the defensive because of who they are (not what they're doing).

It's not on someone else to constantly have to explain why another person's behavior is wrong. That's how children are treated!

Telling someone to shut up frequently earns the same defensive reaction. There are very few ways to tell someone they're being an ass about something without coming off as rude or curt--especially if you don't know the person very well.

It doesn't matter if you're legitimately trying to help. If someone says you're doing something they don't like, you do one of two things. "Am I doing something wrong?" or "Why do they not like it?"

If you aren't able to ask yourself either of those things that's a you problem.

 

[Nephix]

That last bit seems a lot like sniping and passive aggressive commentary. Maybe don't do that. Or maybe I'm reading into it incorrectly! I'd go so far as to say you are lucky if you've never seen it firsthand--though you're really going a long way towards explaining why you don't think it's a thing when people have actual accounts of it happening to them.

So, y'know. Cognitive dissonance at work here. It's fine to disagree but using your own experience to invalidate another person's is just another version of mansplaining.

"I've never experienced this so clearly it's not a thing."

You very nearly hit the nail on the head. Don't ask loaded questions. They make it seem like you're chomping at the bit to explain 'em a thing. If someone is cosplaying--to use the person you quoted's example--don't ask if they know who the character is. Don't assume they don't know something that is very clearly on display. There's no real harm in asking someone, "Hey, did you know..." or, "Man, I never realized..."

Also:

Well I wasn't trying to say it's not a thing at all; just how it's not a thing for me personally because I haven't encountered it. Sorry if I sounded ignorant.

The word itself and how it can be misinterpreted and twisted by people with ulterior motives feels like a disservice to the people that deal with the problem on a regular basis.
Is how I personally feel about it I guess; people are all equal and as such our vocabulary should also reflect that equality on all levels.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

This is the best game ever.

I think I posted this before but I was at my fighting game hang out and a guy just goes and assumes that I don't know SFV exists and it comes out in literally two months. He's trying to explain the buttons and shit. "This is light punch, this is medium punch..." So I just play "tee hee I'm dumb" game.

He looked devastated when I destroyed him.

Like, for some reason he thinks I'm not there to fight other people, that I'm probably some other dudes girlfriend or whatever, but still.

 

[Misha]

Well I wasn't trying to say it's not a thing at all; just how it's not a thing for me personally because I haven't encountered it. Sorry if I sounded ignorant.

The word itself and how it can be misinterpreted and twisted by people with ulterior motives feels like a disservice to the people that deal with the problem on a regular basis.
Is how I personally feel about it I guess; people are all equal and as such our vocabulary should also reflect that equality on all levels.

People also do the same with appeal to authority and straw man. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with the term since its describing a specific phenomena that does indeed happen.

(I do wish it sounded better though)

 

[Sushi Nao]

Silencing opinions isn't wrong in and of itself. If the data propping up someone's opinion is made up primarily of the contents of their own anus, it is far more productive to cut it off there and let them know than to sit around discussing a premise that is nonsense at its core.

Totally. One of the worst things to happen to western society is the idea that everyone's opinion is worth something.

 

[Lego Boss]

Totally. One of the worst things to happen to western society is the idea that everyone's opinion is worth something.

Working in HE in the UK, this would be such a good premise to apply.

On the topic of this, I'm wondering how 'mansplaining' applies to teaching? I always try to gather the thoughts and views of the individual/class before speaking, but I'm obviously going to be mansplaining at some point. At what point is it meaningless (or worse insulting) BS and/or ego tripping.

I'm having an existential crisis about it at the moment , where I feel it might just be best to do some free association instead . . .

 

[Ordlan]

If someone says you're doing something they don't like, you do one of two things. "Am I doing something wrong?" or "Why do they not like it?"

If you aren't able to ask yourself either of those things that's a you problem.

I think you're giving men way too much credit if you think they are able to figure such things out by themselves.

Seriously though, there are people who are too oblivious to take cues from people and properly evaluate their own actions, but are still willing and able to be educated on social issues. If you want to get angry at a guy for mansplaining even though there was no malicious intent, that's your right, but I think explaining what he did wrong is much more helpful. Is that womansplaining?

 

[kiunchbb]

For demonstration purposes, that is a wonderful, succinct example.

She has made what is clearly a joke. However, technically, what she has said is wrong. Mansplaining is the phenomenon where, had this been said by a man, it would have been taken for a joke, and would be unlikely to see followup, but since it was said by a woman, some men see a need to educate and correct "wrong" information.

Now, this example in particular, is a funny grey zone. The man in question made the reply in jest ("um actually" being the giveaway, and he followed it up later) because it would be ironically funny to mansplain on a joke about mansplaining. But, even in this ironic use, it still qualifies, in the way that ironic racism or classism are also indefensible.

Yeah, but people on the internet rushing to correct other people is nothing new in the internet. Kind of like what everyone doing in this thread. The only difference is gaf does not identify accounts by gender. If gaf did identify everyone by gender, every men that reply to a female in this thread would be mansplaining.

 

[lazygecko]

This is the best game ever.

I think I posted this before but I was at my fighting game hang out and a guy just goes and assumes that I don't know SFV exists and it comes out in literally two months. He's trying to explain the buttons and shit. "This is light punch, this is medium punch..." So I just play "tee hee I'm dumb" game.

He looked devastated when I destroyed him.

Like, for some reason he thinks I'm not there to fight other people, that I'm probably some other dudes girlfriend or whatever, but still.

This seems fairly common as I've heard more than one anecdote like that from women in predominantly male-dominated subcultures. I guess it works pretty well as a coping mechanism when you have to put up with that shit all the time.

 

[weemadarthur]

Working in HE in the UK, this would be such a good premise to apply.

On the topic of this, I'm wondering how 'mansplaining' applies to teaching? I always try to gather the thoughts and views of the individual/class before speaking, but I'm obviously going to be mansplaining at some point. At what point is it meaningless (or worse insulting) BS and/or ego tripping.

I'm having an existential crisis about it at the moment , where I feel it might just be best to do some free association instead . . .

You're the teacher? Your job is to teach people. Anyone who has signed up for the class is assumed to not know the material yet.

Unless you're teaching daily makeup techniques to a female clientele, I don't see how you can legitimately confuse the concepts. Unless you're joking again, it's very hard to tell due to Poe's Law.

 

[partyphone]

Yeah, but people on the internet rushing to correct other people is nothing new in the internet. Kind of like what everyone doing in this thread. The only difference is gaf does not identify accounts by gender. If gaf did identify everyone by gender, every men that reply to a female in this thread would be mansplaining.

just because it happens to everyone doesn't mean mansplaining shouldn't be specifically called out. our society is extremely sexist so mansplaining is a particularly pernicious subset of being a condescending jerk.

 

[GnawtyDog]

Any opinion (about female subjects) a man has that sees through their own lenses that women might object to can be categorized as mansplaining by women at random. In short...not much to worry about.

 

[Unbounded]

What confuses me a bit is the extreme necessity of the word "mansplaining" when apparently the vast population of men ,(the people who you apparently want to understand the word and what it means so you can discuss it), have no idea what it means in the first place and an even larger amount of people in general aren't even in complete agreement over what the word means in the first place.

As far as I can tell, (looking at this thread, at least), the only males who do actually have an idea of what the word means are those who are normally in more feminist circles, while the rest only seem to have figured out a possible, uncertain definition from seeing it used in conversation.

 

[Pau]

Maybe it's because I'm lucky enough to have good people around me but I've literally never in my 26 something years on this planet caught a man trying to explain something to a woman thinking she's clueless about the subject because she's a woman.
And it's not like I live a sheltered life, I've been around the world many times in my life thus far all while learning new languages and getting to know different cultures.

Literally every conversation I've ever been part of starts with - "Do you know about X?"

Unless it's mansplaining and misogynistic to even ask the question if the person you're talking to is familiar with something? You never know if someone knows about a certain thing until you ask if they know about it.
But then again maybe you're always pretty much alone in being interested in a certain thing and assume everyone regardless of gender doesn't know much about it and you proceed to explain without asking the question.

I think a lot of men can easily go through life without seeing some of the more problematic interactions between men and women. Same thing happens with street harassment.

It's not mansplaining or misogynistic to ask but always be aware of the context. So it's not about randomly asking if other pepole share your interests. It's about when a women is clearly doing something that if a man where doing it, no one would second guess his knowledge.

If I'm wearing a Robin shirt, asking "Do you know about the Robins?" is kind of silly. Or to use Cindi's example, if I'm playing a game, asking if I know how to play it is also pretty silly. But these are the kinds of this we get a lot. This is going more into the fake geek girl thing, but it might help illuminate some of the weird ways some guys react to women saying they have any sort of knowledge no matter how inconsequential. There's been too many times when I've said I'm into Batman that guys have been like "No you aren't. Prove it."

And this isn't even really going into those men who try to explain that women's experiences/knowledge aren't actually valid but rather that they know better even without ever having to deal with the subject at hand.

 

[Pau]

Silencing opinions isn't wrong in and of itself. If the data propping up someone's opinion is made up primarily of the contents of their own anus, it is far more productive to cut it off there and let them know than to sit around discussing a premise that is nonsense at its core.

Yes but some of those people take issue that their premise is nonsense at its core - especially if it's a woman saying so. So you get guys being like "my opinion was silenced because I'm a man" when in reality their opinion was shut down because it was ridiculous, factually incorrect, etc.

 

[Lego Boss]

You're the teacher? Your job is to teach people. Anyone who has signed up for the class is assumed to not know the material yet.

Unless you're teaching daily makeup techniques to a female clientele, I don't see how you can legitimately confuse the concepts. Unless you're joking again, it's very hard to tell due to Poe's Law.

No, not joking, being serious. I think I have communication issues.

I'm probably well suited to HE then . . .

 

[partyphone]

What confuses me a bit is the extreme necessity of the word "mansplaining" when apparently the vast population of men ,(the people who you apparently want to understand the word and what it means so you can discuss it), have no idea what it means in the first place and an even larger amount of people in general aren't even in complete agreement over what the word means in the first place.

As far as I can tell, (looking at this thread, at least), the only males who do actually have an idea of what the word means are those who are normally in more feminist circles, while the rest only seem to have figured out a possible, uncertain definition from seeing it used in conversation.

there's a connection between knowing what the term means and not being guilty of doing it.

there are two ways to respond to learning about it. one is to go "huh, I never thought about it that way I'll try not to do it in the future". the other is to get defensive about it and try to claim it doesn't happen or that it's no worse than what happens to men.

and it's obviously not the worst thing men do to women. it's part of a larger culture of misogyny and sexism. it's important to shine a light on all of the shitty things we do.

 

[Ordlan]

As far as I can tell, (looking at this thread, at least), the only males who do actually have an idea of what the word means are those who are normally in more feminist circles, while the rest only seem to have figured out a possible, uncertain definition from seeing it used in conversation.

Many misogynists also understand what mansplaining means, but they choose to interpret the use of the word as a way to dismiss their ideology.

 

[Cipherr]

Gendered insults suck. We should be ashamed of the ones we already have. I have zero interest in the creation or proliferation of more of them. Hope to see many of the existing ones heading towards non-use by the time I die hopefully, and hope that no new ones gain any actual steam as well.


"Bu....but this scenario actually happens!"

Yeah I know it does. Doesn't change my opinion that gendered insults suck.

 

[chaobreaker]

I looked up the tweet. Feeling pretty A-OK about having never played or bought into Minecraft. XD

Good thing he sold the IP to Microsoft. Now the game is being developed by more competent developers who are most likely not asshats. He won't earn a single cent from any purchase now and forever.

 

[Audioboxer]

Good thing he sold the IP to Microsoft. Now the game is being developed by more competent developers who are most likely not asshats. He won't earn a single cent from any purchase now and forever.

He has a large following many of whom will be younger audiences though, that's what is shitty. It's not so much Minecraft that matters but Notch being aware like it or not he has a multi-aged fanbase. I mean as I've said everyone has freedom of speech but I'd like to think if I were in a position knowing I have a lot of young followers I'd act fairly sensibly (a cliche "role model" so to speak). At least being aware on public accounts...

 

[chaobreaker]

He has a large following many of whom will be younger audiences though, that's what is shitty. It's not so much Minecraft that matters but Notch being aware like it or not he has a multi-aged fanbase. I mean as I've said everyone has freedom of speech but I'd like to think if I were in a position knowing I have a lot of young followers I'd act fairly sensibly (a cliche "role model" so to speak). At least being aware on public accounts...

I think most Minecraft streamers and LPers are aware of their young fanbase and curate their content in order to make it more kid-friendly. The legacy of Minecraft doesn't end with notch. It ends with the people at Mojang and fans who make content for the game.

Plus, I doubt any 12 year old Minecraft fan knows who notch even is.

 

[Audioboxer]

I think most Minecraft streamers and LPers are aware of their young fanbase and curate their content in order to make it more kid-friendly. The legacy of Minecraft doesn't end with notch. It ends with the people at Mojang and fans who make content for the game.

I know but many younger ones started on the Minecraft bandwagon when Notch was around. He has 3.76m followers!

I couldn't care less about swearing in general, although potty mouth kids are pretty crude to see in open (as most of them don't have the ability to self censor like we do and keep crudeness more private), but the cunt remark and some of the other stuff... I can just see kids now saying that because Notch does.

Either way just my 2 cents if I were in such a position of popularity and knew I had younger audiences.