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[CNN.com] Last gen console reports cards are here!

Justin Bailey

------ ------
http://money.cnn.com/2006/06/21/commentary/game_over/column_gaming/index.htm

Playstation2 - A
Xbox - B-
Gamecube -
D
<--- Oh Snizzzzap
GameBoy Advance - A

Miss GameCube? Can we speak in private?

Frankly, I'm quite disappointed in you. Your brothers and sisters have been star pupils for years, but you never seemed to apply yourself. You were late with software homework assignments and many projects lacked heart. You were absent when we discussed important topics like online gaming. And frankly, your fashion sense was questionable. (A purple box with a handle? Hardly stylish.) This laissez faire attitude let everyone in class bypass you, yet you never seemed to really care.

lol gamecube's a girl
 
WHERE IS N-GAGE AND GIZ? TSK TSK, THIS SCHOOL IS A FAILURE SCHOOL FOR LOSING STUDENTS. WHERE ARE THEY, OVER THERE? I DO NOT KNOW, SOME CAPS LOCK.
 

Any1

Member
CNN said:
I am attaching a note for your parent Sony (Charts), though, because I'm becoming more and more concerned about your attitude. You've become increasingly arrogant this term and you're starting to alienate people. It's not affecting sales yet, but I know how image conscious you kids are - and it's hurting your image. You've been the BMOC for a long while. Don't let hubris ruin that for you.

:lol
 

VALIS

Member
'S fair, I guess. I would've given the Xbox a B or B+ because it usually had the best version of multi-console games and didn't require a memory card, godblessit. PS2s variety was downright insane, although it needs to be said 90% of the j-rpgs on the console were tired, cliched junk compared to most of the j-rpgs on the PS1. The Gamecube, alas, didn't end up with all that many compelling titles at the end of the day (sure it had a dozen or two, but that's not many).
 

Ponn

Banned
Infernal Monkey said:
WHERE IS N-GAGE AND GIZ? TSK TSK, THIS SCHOOL IS A FAILURE SCHOOL FOR LOSING STUDENTS. WHERE ARE THEY, OVER THERE? I DO NOT KNOW, SOME CAPS LOCK.

They do not attend this school. They go to a "Special Ed" school on a very short bus.
 

Gchaime

Member
Your cousin - Game Boy Advance - did outstanding work, rightfully earning his "A." You risked expulsion at times. Yes, your sales, at 21 million, were close to Xbox - but with your pedigree, I was expecting much better numbers. Be happy with your grade of "D." I certainly hope your younger brother Wii doesn't follow in your footsteps.

According to wikipedia the GBA sold 38 million units in the Americas.

Anyway last-gen. As fanboy i can't get excited about last gen. It's this/next gen which i get overly emotionally about.
 
PS3 is starting to be bullied at school, Wii has brought some friends called fans and their dark sides, called internet trolls, and x360 wants PS3 to be buried, so he says nothing :lol
 
But...But...But... I LOVED my Gamecube ! :(
icon85.gif
 

MMaRsu

Banned
WHAT

Gamecube D?

sadpanda.gif


That makes me a sad panda :(

You know what, I'm going to give CNN an E for effort, and T for nice Try
 

Dilbert

Member
Funny, I seem to remember that discussion after class going a different way...

Teacher: Miss GameCube? Can we speak in private?

Frankly, I'm quite disappointed in you. Your brothers and sisters have been star pupils for years, but you never seemed to apply yourself. You were late with software homework assignments and many projects lacked heart. You were absent when we discussed important topics like online gaming. And frankly, your fashion sense was questionable. (A purple box with a handle? Hardly stylish.) This laissez faire attitude let everyone in class bypass you, yet you never seemed to really care.

Gamecube: (makes eye contact with the teacher and holds his gaze) I'm sorry. I know I must have disappointed you. It's just...well...over the last few years, I've changed, and my mind is constantly distracted by...stuff. Surely you must have noticed? (smiles)

Teacher: (looks at her swelling bosom barely contained by her shirt) Ummm...yes, yes, I can see that you've been going through some things. But I had such high hopes for you. I expected more.

Gamecube: Oh, would you like something more? (winks and reaches for his growing erection) Is there anything I can do to improve my grade? (unzips)

Teacher: Knock that shit off, young lady. You think waggling my wand is gonna change your grade? What are you, nuts? Get the **** out of here, slut.
 
-jinx- said:
Funny, I seem to remember that discussion after class going a different way...

LOL someone watches too much Bookworm Bitches.

I'd give the GC a D too, and I love the thing. But it was a bunch of wasted potential, with only a few games truly showing what it was capable of (RE4, WW, MP). Truth of the matter is there were too many long gaps with no games, no online to speak of, and few AAA titles. Obviously Nintendo's stuff was golden, but once again third party was non-existant. And what was all that GBA-GC connectivity tripe they fed us?

Iwata said it best; if Wii's only goal is to outsell GameCube, it'll fail.

GC: The little console that could've, but didn't.
 
Yeah. Going to college and having a job, I only have so much time to play games these days. I know some of you guys need a new game every week, but I didn't. I love Nintendo games the most, and my Gamecube was all I needed. So, whatever.

It deserves an A+ for Smash Bros. alone. :D No other game has kept me constantly playing for six ****ing years.
 

NotMSRP

Member
Teacher: Miss GameCube? Can we speak in private?

Frankly, I'm quite disappointed in you. Your brothers and sisters have been star pupils for years, but you never seemed to apply yourself. You were late with software homework assignments and many projects lacked heart. You were absent when we discussed important topics like online gaming. And frankly, your fashion sense was questionable. (A purple box with a handle? Hardly stylish.) This laissez faire attitude let everyone in class bypass you, yet you never seemed to really care.

Gamecube: (makes eye contact with the teacher and holds his gaze) I'm sorry. I know I must have disappointed you. It's just...well...over the last few years, I've changed, and my mind is constantly distracted by...stuff. Surely you must have noticed? (smiles)

Teacher: (looks at her swelling bosom barely contained by her shirt) Ummm...yes, yes, I can see that you've been going through some things. But I had such high hopes for you. I expected more.

Gamecube: Oh, would you like something more? (winks and reaches for his growing erection) Is there anything I can do to improve my grade? (unzips)

Teacher: Knock that shit off, young lady. You think waggling my wand is gonna change your grade? What are you, nuts? Get the **** out of here, slut.
dickgurl?
 

psy18

Member
Teacher: Miss GameCube? Can we speak in private?

You've got potential, but you missed it. I think you're the brightest (hardware) in class but you know being jenius won't make you number one. I think the problem is you're being shy and not asking other for help. You should've make friends (developers) in from start so they can support you. You work alone(first party) and only have several close friends you can rely on. You've made it hard for yourself and this is the result. Better luck next time.


:D
 

VALIS

Member
NotMSRP said:
Because of 360's lame BC, wouldn't the GC version be the best for multiplatform titles?

If all 30 million Xboxes suddenly evaporated into thin air, yes. *scratches head*
 

terrene

Banned
psy18 said:
Teacher: Miss GameCube? Can we speak in private?

You've got potential, but you missed it. I think you're the brightest (hardware) in class but you know being jenius won't make you number one. I think the problem is you're being shy and not asking other for help. You should've make friends (developers) in from start so they can support you. You work alone(first party) and only have several close friends you can rely on. You've made it hard for yourself and this is the result. Better luck next time.


:D
Man, it kills me when mother****ers can't spell the word "genius." I have never seen it with a "j" until today.
 

Speevy

Banned
The Xbox was definitely a great console through its run, but cutting off in Fall 2005 is definitely worth a deduction.
 

rs7k

Member
NotMSRP said:
Because of 360's lame BC, wouldn't the GC version be the best for multiplatform titles?

I understand your retarded logic. It's like my Xbox exploded when the 360 came out.
 

melvoin

Banned
worldrunover said:
And what was all that GBA-GC connectivity tripe they fed us?

This "tripe" was an attempt to distinguish the console from the others by leveraging Nintendo's strength in the handheld market, not an attempt to screw people by making them buy 4 GBAs to play multiplayer, as is often assumed. The idea was that players already had the GBAs, which was perfectly valid considering the substantial userbase.

If you've ever really played Four Swords Adventures or Pac-Man Vs., you'd realize the potential in the concept. The fact that Sony is planning to connect PSP and PS3 further validates Nintendo. The main mistake Nintendo made was trying to advertise it as a main feature of the console, but without providing any must-have killer apps to back it up.

Another major mistake was Nintendo's handling of the feature in relation to 3rd parties. Though they offered incentives for its use(reduced licensing fees, I believe), they seemed to set no real guidelines for the quality of the implementation. Therefore, most 3rd parties, EA and Ubisoft in particular, typically met the requirement in the simplest way possible, usually through dinky throwaway "unlockables" you'd get for connecting the GC version of a game to its GBA counterpart.

Overall, I think a D is fair. Though I'm a Nintendo fanboy myself, I would have given them an F.

Some major mistakes that they made(strictly in a commercial sense):

- No Mario game at launch, despite having 5 years to develop it.

- Questionable design. I like the way the gamecube looks myself, but artistic considerations don't apply wihen dealing with mass audiences. The same goes with Wind Waker.

- Continued struggles with "mature" audiences. RE and Eternal Darkness are fine, but if Nintendo ever wants to shed the kiddy image(and draw 3rd party m-rated software), they'll have to publish more than two M-rated titles per generation.

- The well-documented post-launch drought.

- Overdependence on franchise characters. Underdevelopment of new franchises, such as Battalion Wars and Geist.

- No sports sims. When Nintendo dumped Left Field, they effectively relinquished any pretense of recognizing the sports genre. Wave Race and 1080 were pawned off on the a derivative and undertalented studio(NST), the NBA Courtside franchise was axed, a prospective NFL Football game from Retro Studios was cancelled, and lord only knows what happened to Nintendo Pennant Chase Baseball. Just as with "mature" games, Nintendo counted on 3rd parties in this regard-- and found that, without stoking the fire with first-party releases, the audience won't be there to pick up the 3rd party games.

- Retro Studios. Nintendo expected a number of key launch/post-launch period titles from Retro, but mismanagement resulted in considerable downsizing and the inability to produce more than one major title at any one time. Furthermore, the talent that is there has been wasted updating a commercially moribund series, when it could have been providing original Western-style franchises to complement Nintendo's established studios.

Achievements

- Though 3rd party software lagged greatly behind the other two consoles, GC still had roughly twice as much 3rd party support as the N64.

- Re-establishing relations with Square. Taking the initiative to establish working relationships with other major 3rd parties, such as Namco, Capcom, Sega, and EA.

- Despite all of GC's struggles, and the fact that it was evident by 2003 that it would be the odd console out, Nintendo has stuck with it-- and with generous bundling practices, still managed to keep it alive, however tenuously, through the complete console cycle.
 

DaCocoBrova

Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
Can't say I agree with that GC score. It was right behind the PS2 in terms of best exclusive content.
 

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
Speevy said:
The Xbox was definitely a great console through its run, but cutting off in Fall 2005 is definitely worth a deduction.


if your roommate dies during term, you automatically graduate.
 

darscot

Member
I'm rather happy with my cube. I'm not that hard core and sure I would have liked a few more AAA titles but all in all it was a good console. Also with GBA being such an amazing system it filled the void and then some. In my mind the GBA was the clear winner last gen. It's what I played the most.
 
Regardless of what CNN says, I still own about 3 times more GC games than Xbox games and about 85% of those are exclusives too. I love my GC.
 

mollipen

Member
Why is everybody so surprised? Of course the GameCube is a girl... all the consoles are. Also, I'd love to see what grade they did/would have given the N64, because the GC slaughtered that console in terms of quality in every aspect. (Well, okay... except for Goldeneye and the Aki wrestlers.)

gctan.jpg
 
shidoshi said:
Why is everybody so surprised? Of course the GameCube is a girl... all the consoles are. Also, I'd love to see what grade they did/would have given the N64, because the GC slaughtered that console in terms of quality in every aspect. (Well, okay... except for Goldeneye and the Aki wrestlers.)
no... no it didn't...

I think some people here may be overstating the GC's appeal. It really is limited. I loved my GC for SSBM alone, but aside SSBM it had 7 other games throughout it's lifetime I deemed worth owning. 7 games in 5 years. That's not good. only SEVEN. With PS2, I could get a new game to rent or own or borrow every month. And the Xbox every other month. The GC later on in life didn't even get 3rd party games, which is alright because it seemingly never got the good versions of 3rd party games...

BTW: Exclusives aren't everything. Over 90% of the games last gen were 3rd party, and I dare you to say all of those games suck. I'll kill you.
 

Chairman Yang

if he talks about books, you better damn well listen
I'd bump up the Cube to a C-, probably...it wasn't THAT far behind the Xbox in terms of great exclusives, if you take the PC into account.
 
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