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Coworker Bully - How to deal?
- Thread starter Philia
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ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Urinate around your cube.
Skellig Gra
Member
Talk to HR. That's what they are there for.
Woody Invincible
Banned
Came into the thread to deliver some advise, and then saw it was woman stuff. Completely different ballfield.
And guys, based of my HR department, litigation litigation litigation. They are too afraid to do anything to anybody.
And guys, based of my HR department, litigation litigation litigation. They are too afraid to do anything to anybody.
There's really nothing else to say beyond this.
Ninja Scooter
Member
Say "asshole says what" really quickly so that she can't understand you which means she will likely reply with a "what?", thus making her the asshole. Done and done.
And if there is retaliation, she gone.
blame space
Banned
have you considered spreading malicious rumors about her?
LOL! Thanks for this, I needed some cheering up.
And yeah, HR is all over this now... I hope. They say they'll talk about it and with her while I'm on vacation next week. I'm really really really hoping for some real change after that.
LyleLanley
Banned
Standard office rules. At lunch time find the biggest person there and try to beat the shit out of them. Even if you get the shit kicked out of you, and you will, you'll at least have earned the respect of your fellow co-workers.
PartlyCloudlike
Member
Your op is vague. What makes her a bully besides talking over you? I've worked with people who I perceived to be rude or disagreeable, but I leaned to deal with it. If she's aggressively undermining you or going out of her way to make your work life miserable, then speak to your manager.
You are calling someone a bully at work but the only thing you mentioned that I can even see slightly as "bullying" is talking over you.. which she may not be doing on purpose. I'm not there obviously, but maybe you're just around someone high-energy (or hopped up on caffeine) who isn't intentionally doing anything to make you feel bad.
You pointing out on a public forum that you think she is favored kind of comes across as bullying to me, tbh. But, again, I'm not there to experience the behavior as you are.
You pointing out on a public forum that you think she is favored kind of comes across as bullying to me, tbh. But, again, I'm not there to experience the behavior as you are.
Comfort Jones
Banned
OP you are being mad vague about what this bullying is.
She can't really deny it now. There's proof in 3 other people who have issues with her too. I think I've finally broke the last straw because I'm a straight arrow.
I didn't mean to be vague, but that's the issue. Its... vague but its consistent and has been for months now. She's undermining everything I do, take stuff I do for granted and have an attitude. I know it sounds pretty lame but I'm not kidding when I said 3 other people had issues with her.
That's still real vague. Good luck with HR.
I feel this makes it really hard for me to fairly comment on it too. I feel like I'm not getting the whole story, or both sides. Walking in on this and only taking your word for it could make it seem like you just don't like someone and are getting other co-workers to gang up on the disliked person too. (Which I don't think you're doing.. just to be mindful that HR has to look at things from as many angles/perspectives as possible, and much prefers when people can talk amongst themselves like adults.)
HR handled it terribly by making a meeting between me and the manager in question. Refused to move me and he plotted to get me dismissed with false errors and accusations.
I contacted acas and union, the union provide a lawyer following my dismissal. Tribunal happened, I won he got sacked and I got damages. Might I add that I worked for the tribunals services in the moj at time which was crazy.
Had to get a judge from Wales due to personal relationships.
Main thing, you need to be a model employee and document everything.
Oyashrio-Sama
Member
What kind of bulling is she doing? Pawning off her own work on you? Calling you Fartburt when she goddamn well knows your name is Filburt? Taking your lunch?
Just take a dump in one of her desk drawers.
Just take a dump in one of her desk drawers.
Spaced Harrier
Member
Send her a fetish survey and compare results.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Probably just talk to HR.
Okay, that's it then. I'm that model employee and I've documented every little detail and I've sent it to HR. From I've gathered, the initial idea was just talk to her but after seeing my laundry list, it changed to talking to the head vet (who owns the hospital).
ginger ninja
Banned
Best of luck OP
If it doesn't work out, you can always try jacking off in her coffee. Maximum they will you give you is 6 months community service.
Silphonica
Banned
https://youtu.be/xiFWAM4tmGY?t=27s
Probably just talk to HR.
quite honestly I would file a grievance against her.
ClosingADoor
Member
Seems you are doing everything you can already. Push HR for it and document the stuff se does. Still don't get what she is doing, but if four people complained she must be bad to work with.
You're sorted then. Continue to document everything that can be perceived as retribution even if it could be nothing. Dates and times. Don't record them, doesn't help as depending on your states law could be illegal without permission.
Also DO NOT talk to fellow employees about your case, turns into a telephone game of twisting your words.
entremet
Member
I've always confronted workplace bullies directly, but I don't recommended it since most workplace cultures are passive aggressive corporate hellholes.
Bullies operate the same way, once you show a backbone they let up.
Just be aware that HR may not help you if she's a star performer.
Bullies operate the same way, once you show a backbone they let up.
Just be aware that HR may not help you if she's a star performer.
thecouncil
Banned
OP was the bully the whole time...
Let me put it this way, its vague in a word but when you see the laundry list of shit she did, its not vague at all. Its snide as all hell.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/09/20/how-to-deal-with-a-bullying-boss/
According to this, she've nearly done all that in the list. :\
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/09/20/how-to-deal-with-a-bullying-boss/
According to this, she've nearly done all that in the list. :\
I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, so I'm glad you said it!
It depends on how much favored she is, but, most likely:
1.) Higher ups aren't going to take any action.
2.) She'll know it was you.
3.) She'll make it worse.
Start looking for another job or figure out a way to deal with it. I left my situation for a higher salary, better region, and better people. Now I actually work with people I like, so it's not all bad news.
The thing about higher ups... its narrow. There's 4 vets, the head vet who owns the hospital and then there's two other vets and one new vet. The new vet is not involved, but the middle two are definite friends of this bullying coworker I'm talking about only because she've done favors and babysat their kids and so on. She can get away a lot of shit because of it.
Anyway, the head vet however actually recently told me he liked me (citing me as one of his favorite employees) and that is the main KICK I needed to tell HR about it. So that way, finally, HR can get with him and kick some ass. But the thing is, he employs with the other two vets and I have no idea how they're gonna take this at all. :\ Its all nearly in house stuff since its a small hospital.
Anyway, the head vet however actually recently told me he liked me (citing me as one of his favorite employees) and that is the main KICK I needed to tell HR about it. So that way, finally, HR can get with him and kick some ass. But the thing is, he employs with the other two vets and I have no idea how they're gonna take this at all. :\ Its all nearly in house stuff since its a small hospital.
I was going to say this because a family member was in this kind of situation, but HR didn't do anything at all to help them. Utterly useless despite complaints from multiple people, because there was pretty obvious favoritism.
lifa-cobex
Member
Have you tried leaning over and sincerely asking "wtf is your problem?"
I totally thought of this a bunch of times but we're not allowed to curse at the hospital. Its write up if you do.
entremet
Member
Take her to the side. And you don't have to use profanity.
Dog Problems
Banned
Probably just talk to HR.
I don't know, power bombs tend to solves problems quickly.
lifa-cobex
Member
Ok then maybe not as aggressive.
Perhaps something like
"Have you got an issue or something? You keep doing X and X. Whats the matter?"
"Have people and myself ragged you off or something?"
Just try and jump to the root of it. It will make you feel better even if you get a shit reaction.
At least you tried.
DeVeAn
Member
I learned the HARD way how to deal with this... Human resources should be called corporate defenses. All they do is help you to incriminate yourself and make your life miserable.
This may not be the answer, but what I did is quit and find another job. It was the best thing I ever did never look back have no regrets.
Here's the sad thing while I have moved on I have since kept in touch with a couple of coworkers and I seem to be the topic of the day for them on how I quit like a champ. I have a much better life now so in the end it worked out for me.
Her excuse was she's going through a stressful time. Her parents treating her badly, she needs to move out, breaking up with her boyfriend, car accident, a stubborn coworker (obviously NOT me, but another one who is an older lady who complained about her) or two (another coworker but she's unreliable and cries at a drop of a hat.)
Turns out all those issues should had resolved weeks ago... her improvement never happened. Obviously.
I hope not. :\ HR was a lady I liked and I don't think there's any problem of questioning my evidence or her to call my integrity in question if that could imply that she's reliable.
Turns out all those issues should had resolved weeks ago... her improvement never happened. Obviously.
I hope not. :\ HR was a lady I liked and I don't think there's any problem of questioning my evidence or her to call my integrity in question if that could imply that she's reliable.
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