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[SeanR1221]

Oh I completely understand that, not even her brothers were like her. They had a much harder time with her middle brother than her. But her dad's approach didn't change and they worked it out as well.

Our daughters won't be like their mom either, but I could see me going this route (the video) and it backfiring horribly. I just think something is lost in it.

I do behavioral therapy with 7 different clients. I am like 7 different people throughout the week. Seriously.

You can't go in with a pre-set idea of what you're going to do. You need to be able to understand what is maintaining the behavior, how you can control the situation, and what will extinguish the behavior.

This is why I actually applaud his response, because he covered all of that.

But I only work as a behavioral therapist 45 hours a week, so don't mind me.

 

[AnathemicOne]

Why are you so hell-bent on refusing to simply understand that shooting the laptop is the same thing as dropping it out of a window to them? why the fuck would you analogize that with killing living beings?

What am I even supposed to do with that? he destroyed a fucking electronic device. That's all that happened here.

You're smarter and more discerning than this, GAF. I know it.

PS - dog fighting is not deeply ingrained in southern african american culture, goddamn it. it's engrained in some communities and pockets, like anything else is.



how did you even...

I'm done with you in this topic. You're not even trying to be intellectually honest anymore. Clearly.


maybe you and I should too. some people simply refuse to withdraw their face from the fucking tree it's parked in front of so that they can see the forest we're looking at.

He's correct, you don't parent from a state of bitterness, ideally one should parent in a calm and reasonable state.

 

[Meicyn]

Yes guns are bad, thanks?

Especially when slave owners and nazis use them!

 

[Ploid 3.0]

Shooting up the laptop is to follow through with his words. He said he would put a bullet through it if she did something and gave her a warning. Him not doing it and holding onto it would make him seem weak and able to be ran over. He had to stand firm and do what he said to make the punishment effective. Now she'd think twice before laughing at a warning from him.

Kids try to get away with what they can. They'll push and poke to see what they can get away with. Give them any space (with rules) and they'll walk all over you.

 

[royalan]

He's correct, you don't parent from a state of bitterness, ideally one should parent in a calm and reasonable state.

Did the father not appear calm to you in that video?

 

[AnathemicOne]

That doesn't make sense.

So parents aren't allowed to emotionally react to the actions of their children?

Parents (nobody really) shouldn't let emotions be the sole deciding factor of their actions.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

Yes guns are bad, thanks?

oh lawd this thread is fantastic. but as I figured, most of the boo birds are anti-gun and I'd wager 90% of them have never been exposed to guns or any meaningful culture where guns are a normal, socially acceptable thing to have.

purely conjecture...but you fit right into the framework, dontcha.

He's correct, you don't parent from a state of bitterness, ideally one should parent in a calm and reasonable state.

then replace "bitter" with "disappointed". "bitter" was a word I selected while writing, and you're reading into it in order to support an agenda. it's intellectually dishonest at best.

he was certainly disappointed.

I was waiting for someone to say something similar.

Dude's actions make him seem like a bitter and angry man.

WAIT! It's not cause he uses a gun.

I don't even know what you're trying to say here. You were waiting for someone to make a comment for you to pounce on? lol what?

 

[marrec]

how did you even...

I'm done with you in this topic. You're not even trying to be intellectually honest anymore. Clearly.

I was waiting for someone to say something similar.

Dude's actions make him seem like a bitter and angry man.

WAIT! It's not cause he uses a gun.

 

[truly101]

I do behavioral therapy with 7 different clients. I am like 7 different people throughout the week. Seriously.

You can't go in with a pre-set idea of what you're going to do. You need to be able to understand what is maintaining the behavior, how you can control the situation, and what will extinguish the behavior.

This is why I actually applaud his response, because he covered all of that.

But I only work as a behavioral therapist 45 hours a week, so don't mind me.

where did I disregard your opinion?

 

[Jenov]

Especially when slave owners and nazis use them!

And people wearing cowboy hats from the south (aka rednecks), don't forget them.

 

[revolverjgw]

He means well and I'm sure she's a little twit but this isn't going to work out

 

[AnathemicOne]

Did the father not appear calm to you in that video?

If he were calm we wouldn't be hearing about this video in the first place.

 

[marrec]

That doesn't make sense.

So parents aren't allowed to emotionally react to the actions of their children?

This is like, the number one rule of parenting.

 

[la flama blanca]

Update:
For those that wondered, commented, criticized, and just in general wanted to know:
My daughter came through it fine.

Yes, she's in trouble, and yes she's grounded, but that doesn't mean every moment of her life has to be miserable. She's going to come to terms with the changes that will be present for a while; no TV privileges, no Internet, etc.

In the meantime, once the initial anger passed, she sat with me reviewing some of the comments that have come in via Facebook and YouTube. One person even suggested collecting the shell casings and auctioning them on eBay. I said I’d do it if it would help contribute to her college fund! When I told her about it, she thought a minute, got a funny calculating expression on her face and said, “in that case you should shoot my phone too. We can use more bullets and I’ll go half-sies with ya on it! It’s not like I’m going to need it any time soon. And I can use the money we get to buy a new one.”

While the whole point of this story isn’t funny, what is funny to me is how weak some people out there think kids are. Our kids are as strong as we help them to be. My daughter took a horrible day in her life, had her crying fit, then got over it, accepted her punishment, and hasn’t let it (or people’s comments) destroy her strength. I don’t get any credit for that. She’s strong and able to overcome almost anything life throws at her.

Since this unsuspectingly threw her into the limelight much more strongly than either of us intended, I asked her if she wanted to make her own response video, and told her I’d let her do it if she wanted to. She doesn’t like being in front of the camera, so she declined, but I’ve told her if she wants to write a response or post a video response, I’d be OK with it. It’s only fair considering the viral nature of the whole thing. So far she’s not really interested. Quite frankly it seems she’s gotten bored of it much faster than the general public has. If that changes I’ll post it here.

FUCKING MONSTER.

/thread

 

[Meicyn]

If he were calm we wouldn't be hearing about this video in the first place.

yeah man he furiously uploaded it to youtube and shot a few more household items for good measure

 

[marrec]

I do behavioral therapy with 7 different clients. I am like 7 different people throughout the week. Seriously.

You can't go in with a pre-set idea of what you're going to do. You need to be able to understand what is maintaining the behavior, how you can control the situation, and what will extinguish the behavior.

This is why I actually applaud his response, because he covered all of that.

But I only work as a behavioral therapist 45 hours a week, so don't mind me.

He covered none of that.

Your argument from authority doesn't make it any less wrong.

 

[antonz]

If he were calm we wouldn't be hearing about this video in the first place.

That is not true at all. Sometimes it takes a bit of outside of the box thinking to get a point across. He did the normal no technology etc stuff and it didnt work. He tried something else and as his follow up states things are going better

 

[royalan]

Parents (nobody really) shouldn't let emotions be the sole deciding factor of their actions.

And what indicates to you that he is being solely guided by his emotions here? As has been pointed out before, the father is following through with a consequence that he spelled out for his daughter should her misbehavior be repeated. Sure, his daughter being a little twat angered and disappointed him, but the actual carrying out of the consequences was completely controlled and thought-out.

 

[AnathemicOne]

oh lawd this thread is fantastic. but as I figured, most of the boo birds are anti-gun and I'd wager 90% of them have never been exposed to guns or any meaningful culture where guns are a normal, socially acceptable thing to have.

purely conjecture...but you fit right into the framework, dontcha.


then replace "bitter" with "disappointed". "bitter" was a word I selected while writing, and you're reading into it in order to support an agenda. it's intellectually dishonest at best.

he was certainly disappointed.

Marine brat here. I've seen guns in action.

I was taught that guns are tools for self-defense, not discipline.

 

[Alfarif]

JamesFrancoSoGood.gif

I would have taken a shotgun to it, though.

 

[WanderingWind]

This is like, the number one rule of parenting.

That like, every parent without exception violates .

 

[la flama blanca]

If he were calm we wouldn't be hearing about this video in the first place.

lmao man stop making me laugh.

 

[Trey]

Marine brat here. I've seen guns in action.

I was taught that guns are tools for self-defense, not discipline.

The gun wasn't an integral part of the discipline process. Unless you can prove that it was.

But you can't.

 

[marrec]

That like, every parent violates without exception.

And then like, posts on YouTube for the whole world to see how emotionally unstable you are.

We've all been there.

 

[Ecto311]

that was badass - having a kid I know what its like when you do all you can and they are still a shithead - awesome video. Wish more parents would lay down the law instead of this newage time out horseshit. The end isnt even the best part - him reading her bullshit and calling her on it was the real reason to watch the video

 

[AnathemicOne]

The gun wasn't an integral part of the discipline process. Unless you can prove that it was.

But you can't.

It was stated that he promised that he would "put a bullet" if the same thing happened. The gun was an integral part of the disciplinary process as a follow up.

 

[Jenov]

maybe you and I should too. some people simply refuse to withdraw their face from the fucking tree it's parked in front of so that they can see the forest we're looking at.

It's not even that! They're being told flat out statement of fact that this helped his daughter come to an understanding, that she was not irreparably psychologically harmed or bitter, and that she's taken it as a learning experience to grow on and laugh at. But nooooooo, it can't be!

 

[Dreams-Visions]

If he were calm we wouldn't be hearing about this video in the first place.

No, we're hearing about it because people outside of his local customs and gun culture have a hard time accepting the fact that the tool used is irrelevant. People like yourself, for example.

This is like, the number one rule of parenting.

haha. yes, parents should feel no emotions at all. they are robots.

and "a bitter pill to swallow" is a fucking colloquialism. stop with this juvenile gotcha shit.

this entire stupid debate going on boils down to whether or not you can use your brain to comprehend the fact that in his community destroying with gun = destroying with hammer, pool of water, or whatever the hell else you want to use. it was a tool he used to gain a measure of satisfaction as he made his point.

It's not even that! They're being told flat out statement of fact that this helped his daughter come to an understanding, that she was not irreparably psychologically harmed or bitter, and that she's taken it as a learning experience to grow on and laugh at. But nooooooo, it can't be!

NO FUCK ALL THAT! GUNS. HE USED HOLLOW POINTS!

someone call social services.

 

[Ploid 3.0]

This is like, the number one rule of parenting.

Parent's aren't allowed to get upset at the actions of their kids? How about getting happy when they do something amazing, or comfort them when they're sad?

Hands off approach. Don't care what they do, and if you feel like punishing them, be cold and dead inside with a blank stare on your face. Better yet, do it over text. Tell them their punishment, and remember no emoticon.

 

[WanderingWind]

And then like, posts on YouTube for the whole world to see how emotionally unstable you are.

We've all been there.

Because that's what you said in the post I quoted, right?

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

JamesFrancoSoGood.gif

I would have taken a shotgun to it, though.

Is you're neck this color by any chance?

 

[Horse Detective]

I WILL BEAT YOU INTO SUBMISSION

 

[Mammoth Jones]

How about engaging in verbal communication and coming to an agreement? How about attempting to establish mutual respect? What was achieved here was instilling "fear" into someone which is never the way to go in parenting.

I honestly can't believe that people think that unloading a firearm onto a possession and posting it on youtube then achieving viral status is a proper form of discipline.

Bullshit. Nothing wrong with fear in certain contexts. Fear of consequences keeps most members of society from butchering each other on a mass scale. And even WITH consequences we manage to do way too much of that.

He tried verbal communication multiple times. Then he decided to remove a possession of hers. If he donated the laptop to charity no one would be bitching. But "OH NOOOO! A GUN!!!"

 

[marrec]

No, we're hearing about it because people outside of his local customs and gun culture have a hard time accepting the fact that the tool used is irrelevant. People like yourself, for example.



haha. yes, parents should feel no emotions at all. they are robots.

and "a bitter pill to swallow" is a fucking colloquialism. stop with this juvenile gotcha shit.

this entire stupid debate going on boils down to whether or not you can use your brain to comprehend the fact that in his community destroying with gun = destroying with hammer, pool of water, or whatever the hell else you want to use. it was a tool he used to gain a measure of satisfaction as he made his point.

Parent's aren't allowed to get upset at the actions of their kids? How about getting happy when they do something amazing, or comfort them when they're sad?

Hands off approach. Don't care what they do, and if you feel like punishing them, be cold and dead inside with a blank stare on your face. Better yet, do it over text. Tell them their punishment, and remember no emoticon.

It's clear to me that neither of you are parents, but that doesn't really matter because my experiences are anecdotal.

What I mean is, punishment should not be doled from a position of anger or bitterness. This is well known among parents who are actually concerned about the emotional health of their children.

 

[AnathemicOne]

No, we're hearing about it because people outside of his local customs and gun culture have a hard time accepting the fact that the tool used is irrelevant. People like yourself, for example.



haha. yes, parents should feel no emotions at all. they are robots.

and "a bitter pill to swallow" is a fucking colloquialism. stop with this juvenile gotcha shit.

this entire stupid debate going on boils down to whether or not you can use your brain to comprehend the fact that in his community destroying with gun = destroying with hammer, pool of water, or whatever the hell else you want to use. it was a tool he used to gain a measure of satisfaction as he made his point.



NO FUCK ALL THAT! GUNS. HE USED HOLLOW POINTS!

someone call social services.

I'm pretty sure the reason why I'm hearing it is that he intentionally posted it to youtube and it went viral. If he didn't I wouldn't be here and be on some other thread on GAF.

 

[royalan]

This is like, the number one rule of parenting.

So, if your child comes home and announces they made the honor roll, are you a bad parent if you emotionally react to that and reward them? Or are parents only expected to be cool, calm androids when their children misbehave?

Parents are allowed to be emotionally affected when their children fuck up. The rub is in the application. He didn't beat her or threaten her safety. He reclaimed his property from her, and did with it as he saw fit. In this case, shooting the hell out it. It was his right - his gun, his bullets, his laptop.

 

[Fusebox]

It's not even that! They're being told flat out statement of fact that this helped his daughter come to an understanding, that she was notpsychologically harmed or bitter, and that she's taken it as a learning experience to grow on and laugh at. But nooooooo, it can't be!

It's okay guys, the dad said his daughter hasn't been psychologically harmed, and he's an expert because he recently shot a psychology textbook.

 

[Jim E. Rossler]

Marine brat here. I've seen guns in action.

I was taught that guns are tools for self-defense, not discipline.

I was never taught that gravity and pools of chlorinated water/concrete foundations were tools for discipline
Yet why would that be ok for everyone if he threw it in a pool/on the ground?
It's because the method isn't the discipline, the ACTUAL DISCIPLINE IS, IE the laptop being destroyed, not the way you do it.
Car's aren't a form of discipline, yet the back seat is used as a method of delivering discipline (JAIL) when you misbehave in front of an officer

 

[AnathemicOne]

Bullshit. Nothing wrong with fear in certain contexts. Fear of consequences keeps most members of society from butchering each other on a mass scale. And even WITH consequences we manage to do way too much of that.

He tried verbal communication multiple times. Then he decided to remove a possession of hers. If he donated the laptop to charity no one would be bitching. But "OH NOOOO! A GUN!!!"

Fear in parental discipline? That's never a way to go. A child-parent relationship should be one with mutual respect at the very least, not a fear-of-the-consequences one, for who does the consequences in child-parent relationship, oh yeah the parent. This can easily evolve into a fear-of-the-parent relationship.

 

[Trey]

It was stated that he promised that he would "put a bullet" if the same thing happened. The gun was an integral part of the disciplinary process as a follow up.

He could have said "run it over with a truck" and the same message would have been relayed. What about the method of destruction is specifically integral to the disciplinary process? Nothing.

 

[Meicyn]

It's okay guys, the dad said his daughter hasn't been psychologically harmed, and he's an expert because he recently shot a psychology textbook.

guns sure are scary

hold me

 

[Arcteryx]

Purely speculation, partially on my own experience. I laugh at my parents now for how sheltered they were.

This guy strikes me as the type that would punch his daughter in the face if she backtalked him. At worst she's blowing off steam because her parents come off as heavy handed assholes. What she did is no worse than any kid back in my day, 'cept we talked instead of posting on facebook.

I'm not saying she shouldn't be held accountable and she shouldn't be punished, but by going to an extreme, I think the dad is installing fear and contempt instead of correcting. Thats just me.

HAHAHAAHHAHAH this is too funny

I can't even. I mean. wow. What. the. ****. Too silly to comprehend.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

It's clear to me that neither of you are parents, but that doesn't really matter because my experiences are anecdotal.

What I mean is, punishment should not be doled from a position of anger or bitterness. This is well known among parents who are actually concerned about the emotional health of their children.

He was disappointed, not overtly raging dude. He was calm. Collected and took his time to think of an appropriate response.

The argument that inappropriate behavior shouldn't be met with inappropriate behavior holds more water than "Parents should never be upset with their kids shitty, selfish behavior"

 

[truly101]

Bullshit. Nothing wrong with fear in certain contexts. Fear of consequences keeps most members of society from butchering each other on a mass scale. And even WITH consequences we manage to do way too much of that.

He tried verbal communication multiple times. Then he decided to remove a possession of hers. If he donated the laptop to charity no one would be bitching. But "OH NOOOO! A GUN!!!"

To be fair, this guy strikes me as the type that verbal communication is "I talk, you listen" which is well within a parent's right, but its probably the reason she's sounding off on him on facebook in the first place.

 

[freenudemacusers]

Re: the gun use, yeah it looks really weird, but if it's like where I grew up, where dudes would blow a few or more rounds shooting things hanging off trees rather than cut them down, it's pretty innocuous in the grand scheme of this 'event'.

Is it kind of dumb, maybe. But hey that's why they sell bullets in bulk.

I need to fix my subscription settings. this keeps popping to the top lol

 

[la flama blanca]

Does anyone else see the obvious ignorance in most of the posters here? I don't get why some of the people here are shaping this odd and mangled logic into their own impenetrable perspective. With all these speculations and all these character assessments, how can they fail to see the logic in the fact that the father has up to this point raised a child in which he clearly has an issue with being pretty unruly. According to some posters here, wouldn't he already be in jail by now? Wouldn't he have fucking killed her by now or have been arrested? You think a real psychopath with a history of violence would make a video like this? I just can't understand the blatant ignorance in this thread, I just can't.


If you think you know your child and know exactly how to deal with them with 100% effectiveness, then you are either:


Clearly not a parent
or
You still don't understand what it means to raise a child.

It's a learning PROCESS, not something you can master beforehand.

 

[marrec]

So, if your child comes home and announces they made the honor roll, are you a bad parent if you emotionally react to that and reward them? Or are parents only expected to be cool, calm androids when their children misbehave?

Parents are allowed to be emotionally affected when their children fuck up. The rub is in the application. He didn't beat her or threaten her safety. He reclaimed his property from her, and did with it as he saw fit. In this case, shooting the hell out it. It was his right - his gun, his bullets, his laptop.

This is wrong.

Parents are allowed to be emotionally affected all day. But if you punish your children from a position of anger you are doing it wrong.

This was obviously the case in this particular instance.

 

[AnathemicOne]

I was never taught that gravity and pools of chlorinated water/concrete foundations were tools for discipline
Yet why would that be ok for everyone if he threw it in a pool/on the ground?
It's because the method isn't the discipline, the ACTUAL DISCIPLINE IS, IE the laptop being destroyed, not the way you do it.
Car's aren't a form of discipline, yet the back seat is used as a method of delivering discipline (JAIL) when you misbehave in front of an officer

Because I don't know the pool and gravity are designed for other things whereas the gun is designed for only one thing?

 

[Dreams-Visions]

Re: the gun use, yeah it looks really weird, but if it's like where I grew up, where dudes would blow a few or more rounds shooting things hanging off trees rather than cut them down, it's pretty innocuous in the grand scheme of this 'event'.

Is it kind of dumb, maybe. But hey that's why they sell bullets in bulk.

I need to fix my subscription settings. this keeps popping to the top lol

some won't understand until they are directly exposed and get used to it.

 

[marrec]

It's okay guys, the dad said his daughter hasn't been psychologically harmed, and he's an expert because he recently shot a psychology textbook.

This made me laugh so much.

I trust him, he has a gun.