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Dark Chocolate is the worst practical joke in history

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I feel cheated growing up and being given milk chocolate, "white bread", and kraft singles.

Once I switched to actual chocolate, bread, and cheese, I could never go back.
 
best chocolate:
AHI_434d50323139323630_1_LowRes_JPG.JPG
 
PAULINK said:
I bought a bag of the Hershey miniature chocolates, and I pick through it like i'm trying to avoid stepping in dog poop. Like, 1/4th of this bag is inedible. Dark chocolate is obviously a cost cutting method so companies can raise their profit margins, and the worst part is the people who think it's better than milk chocolate.

Can we all agree?
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FUCK no.
No one really likes this stuff.
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so I don't count as a person now?
I can't even give this stuff away, I have to pay my friend to eat them.
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even with a general consensus there's a minority with an opinion
 
Dark chocolate is a Godsend for people like me who's trying to maintain healthy eating habits and successfully losing weight. Knew milk chocolate was unhealthy in large quantities, but had no idea how bad. It really jacks up your teeth after a while.
 
RevenWolf said:
Buys HERSHEYS chocolate.

Says that people that eat dark chocolate have poor taste.

Riiiiiiiggggghhhhhtttt.

Dark chocolate is actual chocolate, milk chocolate is essentially condensed milk with some chocolates mixed in.
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Pretty much. People who like milk chocolate but hate dark chocolate actually like the milk and sugar, not the chocolate.
 
PAULINK said:
I bought a bag of the Hershey miniature chocolates, and I pick through it like i'm trying to avoid stepping in dog poop. Like, 1/4th of this bag is inedible. Dark chocolate is obviously a cost cutting method so companies can raise their profit margins, and the worst part is the people who think it's better than milk chocolate.

Can we all agree? No one really likes this stuff. I can't even give this stuff away, I have to pay my friend to eat them.
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nope.


olives are the worst practical joke ever

they make your entire face hurt when you eat them

and they have pits designed to shatter your teeth

i don't get it
 
Dark chocolate is the original chocolate and is more expensive than milk chocolate OP.

It's in all your coffees and fine desserts for a reason. All chocolate is good, but dark is best and my heart goes out to you and your weak mouth.
 
Dark chocolate is best chocolate.

Though I guess if you buy bottom of the barrel chocolate, you would want it to be as sugary as possible to hide the taste.
 
I don't care for any kind of chocolate on its own. It's alright, but I think it's better when paired with something like nuts or caramel.
 
Hershey's isn't even chocolate. It's like a high-sugar cocoa mix with some vanillin added for no fucking reason other than to make it taste like someone just puked up some real chocolate.

A good dark chocolate, at around 70-80% is perfect.
But I'm not a snob and a lower % dark chocolate chocolate or milk chocolate can also be good. Just not Hersheys.

I sometimes buy the supermarket bargain economy dark chocolate (Fin Carre, 50% cocoa and only about 35p for 100g). It tastes pretty good and is about infinity times better than anything Hershey have ever made, while costing a fraction of the price.
 
What madness is this? Dark chocolate is the only good kind. Love a nice 80%. It actually tastes like chocolate instead of sugar.
 
Tagg9 said:
Thank you making this thread.

Dark chocolate is indeed the devil incarnate and I firmly believe some dark power has tricked a large majority of the population into thinking it is somehow better than the superior god-level milk chocolate.
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Flavonoids, mother fucker. Stuff literally makes us happier.
 
It's hard for me to eat dark chocolate by itself, but I can usually tolerate dark chocolate truffles and PF Milano's are awesome.
 
PAULINK said:
I bought a bag of the Hershey miniature chocolates, and I pick through it like i'm trying to avoid stepping in dog poop. Like, 1/4th of this bag is inedible. Dark chocolate is obviously a cost cutting method so companies can raise their profit margins, and the worst part is the people who think it's better than milk chocolate.

Can we all agree? No one really likes this stuff. I can't even give this stuff away, I have to pay my friend to eat them.
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Reported for shitposting.
 
Vex Krone said:
OFFICIAL tier list ***

S Tier
--------
Dark Chocolate
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God that looks delicious. Also your ranking looks pretty good but I've never tried 2 and 3.

Also, look at the color difference between dark and milk chocolate. Milk chocolate looks to be the color of diarreah.
 
It's funny how defensive dark chocolate eaters get about enjoying a product not really meant for the human taste bud. Just embrace being abnormal instead of lashing out.
 
Stop eating chocolate from garbage companies. Hershey's anything tastes bad. If you like any other Hershey's chocolate, you should be ashamed of your words and deeds.
 
SparkleMotion said:
It's funny how defensive dark chocolate eaters get about enjoying a product not really meant for the human taste bud. Just embrace being abnormal instead of lashing out.
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Spicy foods are a more literal example there. The plants developed spiciness as a defense mechanism against those who aren't supposed to eat them, and we're crazy motherfuckers who not only seek that out but BREED THEM to be even hotter. Nevermind caffeine, a natural insecticide that we go get hooped up on instead.

And alcohol is a POISON from sugar fermenting. Just never talk about anything "not made for human tastes" because in reality we're a depraved species that rarely knows limits.
 
MANGOD said:
Does OP and those with such an opinion as him have sugar in your coffee cause if so NO
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PAULINK said:
Don't get me wrong, I drink black coffee. It's horrible bitter taste has a purpose, wakes you right up and makes you remember why you are alive.

Dark Chocolate has no purpose, except tricking your younger sibling that you love him so you bought him dark chocolate.
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so then i am right
 
SparkleMotion said:
Why are all these dark chocolate fans proud to eat something that doesn't taste good? I HAVE A REFINED PALATE CAUSE I EAT SOMETHING THE HUMAN TASTE BUD REJECTS.
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Nah man, it's not about it being bitter, it's about finding the perfect balance where the sweet and bitter cancel out and all you're left with is chocolate deliciousness.
 
If they wanted I cut costs, they'd just but a shit ton more sugar in it.

Dark Chocolate is grown up chocolate. The darker, the better.

Although I have appreciated fine German chocolates of all kinds.
 
smh at getting your chocolate from a big chain like hershey's and not going to your local mom and pop shop, which there are a dozen of in even the smallest towns and are immeasurably better than chain chocolate

next you'll tell me you drink things that aren't water and coffee (but only black coffee, cream and sugar just dilute that deliciously repulsive bitter flavor)
 
SparkleMotion said:
It's funny how defensive dark chocolate eaters get about enjoying a product not really meant for the human taste bud. Just embrace being abnormal instead of lashing out.
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The problem is people who claim to like chocolate but not dark chocolate really only like the sugar and other fillers that are more prevalent in the milk and white chocolates.

There are also wide range of percentages of dark chocolate. And even though the lower percentages have less cocoa in them. Typically, some of the brands people have mentioned here, for example, have less of the nasty fillers that some of the mass produced brands have like Hershey's.

Take a look at candy in the US, ever notice some labels on candy bars that say "made with chocolate"? instead of just calling it "chocolate"? That's because they legally cannot call the covering (or whatnot) chocolate, so they side step the issue with the phrase "made with chocolate" and other phrases similar to but not actually "chocolate". Check out this older article http://abcnews.go.com/Business/IndustryInfo/story?id=5689239&page=1

Does this mean you can't still enjoy them? Not at all, but don't fool yourself into thinking that what some of the stuff you are eating is chocolate.
 
dralla said:
I love dark chocolate. It's gotta be the good kind though, and extra dark. Endangered Species 88% bar is the best.
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I actually tried the 90% a little while ago.

Might as well be eating chalk, in my opinion.
 
Boney said:
Haha sure thing buddy. Have fun with disgusting carbonated drinks
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I enjoy a root beer on occasion but stick to mostly water.

I don't eat things that taste like they're fist fighting my taste buds. Lighting them on fire? I am happy with. Love spicy food. Fuck off with overly bitter shit.

edit: I used to eat a little bit of condensed milk out of the can when I was like 10-12.
_______

For reference, I actually like a nice block of dark chocolate (but only very specific kinds, getting around 80% is fucked and you're insane), but I have a mean sweet tooth and the idea that other people somehow think sugary sweet tastes are abominable is laughable to me.
 
Guess Who said:
smh at getting your chocolate from a big chain like hershey's and not going to your local mom and pop shop, which there are a dozen of in even the smallest towns and are immeasurably better than chain chocolate
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You say this with a defensive smugness as if it's impossible to order chocolate online or something.

https://www.chocosphere.com/

Willing to bet that any random click there will produce results infinitely better than Hershey's. If the follow-up is that Hershey's costs substantially less, then yes, of course it does, because it's mass produced chocolate made as cheaply as possible and can't even be called chocolate in some countries.
 
OP, this thread is the worst practical joke in history.

Come to terms with the fact that not all chocolate has to be diabetes-inducing levels of sweet, and maybe you'll appreciate the superior form of chocolate :]
 
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