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Dating-age: How to not be a "nice guy?"

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Synth_floyd said:
How about this?

Girl: "My favorite band is X." However you hate that band. Is your response:

a) "Me too!"
b) "Uh, yeah they're okay."
c) "I don't like them."
d) "Worst. Band. Ever."

From all the "be assertive" advice the correct answer would seem to be in between C and D but it seems really rude to just rip their favorite band. I assume you should assert your true opinion but not do it in a way that makes you sound like a dick?
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I've had great success in situations like that with a "Wait, I thought we were talking about good music?" reply. Depending on your tone, you can come off as a huge dick and fuck up the night, the trick is to let them think you're being sarcastic enough that they aren't sure if they should defend their tastes or not. Play it from there.
 
Haha good ideas all around. I never realized how much of a pussy I was until not long before I posted here and then reading this thread only confirmed it even more. I can't change overnight but at least now I've made a commitment to being more confident.
 
Date of Lies said:
cutting masturbation gives you more energy, makes you more sexual, direct, with a higher testosterone level, but sometimes makes you appear more sexually eager than you'd like.

The nice guy is someone who says what he thinks others would like to hear in order to get their approval. A confident man makes no excuses for his needs, wants or opinions, and is always ready to share them, in a respect manner. Do not bottle it in, just say what's on your mind, that's the key. Even to the point where you'll tell a girl you're hitting it off with: "I totally see myself having sex with you". Grow some balls, you can do it. It gets you pussy. Juicy pussy.
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That's not great advice at all. Women can tell whether or not a man is truly confident and I don't think it's ever wise to inform a woman that you want to have sex with her. You have to be playful and smooth. Blurting out, "I totally see myself having sex with you," is a bit too upfront for a lot of people and it is a mood killer for a woman.
 
Synth_floyd said:
How about this?

Girl: "My favorite band is X." However you hate that band. Is your response:

a) "Me too!"
b) "Uh, yeah they're okay."
c) "I don't like them."
d) "Worst. Band. Ever."

From all the "be assertive" advice the correct answer would seem to be in between C and D but it seems really rude to just rip their favorite band. I assume you should assert your true opinion but not do it in a way that makes you sound like a dick?
Click to expand...
e) slap her

she'll be sucking you off before you know it
 
Synth_floyd said:
How about this?

Girl: "My favorite band is X." However you hate that band. Is your response:

a) "Me too!"
b) "Uh, yeah they're okay."
c) "I don't like them."
d) "Worst. Band. Ever."

From all the "be assertive" advice the correct answer would seem to be in between C and D but it seems really rude to just rip their favorite band. I assume you should assert your true opinion but not do it in a way that makes you sound like a dick?
Click to expand...

Now, that's where guys usually go wrong.

all the answer is incorrect, they either make you "too nice" (pussy who don't have an opinion) or asshole.

Why do you want to response like that in the first place ?

She's offering a piece of herself (her taste in music), and you assuming you have to reply by offering a piece of yourself (your opinion on the band). That's the wrong way to do it.

The right answer would be somewhere along the line of e) "what do you like about them"? "do you go to any of their concerts?", "what's your favorite song, album, member?"...etc

Girls don't need you to comment on their taste, they don't need you agreeing with them either. There are a thousand better responses than bringing up your negative taste, they made better conversation too.

Girl would be way more impressed if you act like you are trying to understand them, or trying to know them better instead of judging them. AND they love attention.

Rule of thumb is your opinion doesn't matter, you don't even have to bring your taste up.

Worry about how you sound, how you look, how you think all the time will only make you seem like a selfish, unconfident asshole. Or a pussy if you try to be nice at the same time.

Let them do the talking, it's easier that way.
 
Ela Hadrun said:
There ya go, OP; find a woman who can't make any decisions and you will be ALL SET :lol

She won't even be able to decide to break up with you!!
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I've slowly learned most women are this way. :lol
I've never gotten a date as of late by saying "You wanna do something sometime?" but rather saying "this day, this time, this place. Let's meet." and then adjusting it to fit our schedules.
Here's an interesting puzzle for some of you. I am making plans for tomorrow evening and I said I was cooking dinner. I asked if there was anything in particular she wanted to have since I was going shopping anyway. All she told me was that she can't eat cheese. I retorted with the fact that I love cheese but hell, Japan really isn't a cheese country so I rarely cook with it. Her reply was "You like cheese but you don't like me!"
So what's the response to give?
I told her she tastes better than cheese. ^_-
 
RevenantKioku said:
I've slowly learned most women are this way. :lol
I've never gotten a date as of late by saying "You wanna do something sometime?" but rather saying "this day, this time, this place. Let's meet." and then adjusting it to fit our schedules.
Here's an interesting puzzle for some of you. I am making plans for tomorrow evening and I said I was cooking dinner. I asked if there was anything in particular she wanted to have since I was going shopping anyway. All she told me was that she can't eat cheese. I retorted with the fact that I love cheese but hell, Japan really isn't a cheese country so I rarely cook with it. Her reply was "You like cheese but you don't like me!"
So what's the response to give?
I told her she tastes better than cheese. ^_-
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You can send her my way, I hate cheese too, so we'd have something in common already. :D
 
djtiesto said:
You can send her my way, I hate cheese too, so we'd have something in common already. :D
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Oh no. I quite like this one, and I still don't know if she's carrying my child or not.
 
Ela Hadrun said:
There ya go, OP; find a woman who can't make any decisions and you will be ALL SET :lol

She won't even be able to decide to break up with you!!
Click to expand...

Look, it's not that the woman can't make a decision. She wants to see that YOU can make a decision... but hey, continue to take advice from virgins and ignore people that actually have talked to girls and I'm sure you will get far with the opposite sex!
 
Flo_Evans said:
Look, it's not that the woman can't make a decision. She wants to see that YOU can make a decision... but hey, continue to take advice from virgins and ignore people that actually have talked to girls and I'm sure you will get far with the opposite sex!
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Lol, I *am* the opposite sex!
 
Ela Hadrun said:
Lol, I *am* the opposite sex!
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your pm inbox has been compromised, the neckbearded virgins are already putting their shinny armors on and our perma junior slave members are searching pics of you on social networks as we speak
you have no chance to survive make your time
 
Why do so many people seem willing to change for a date with a girl? lol Why not just do/say what comes naturally instead of needing to think about what you're meant to do/say? If they don't like you then they don't like you..... Eventually they'll get pissed off with you even if they don't work it out originally. :-/
 
I don't know why all you guys need all of this to get girls man. Most girls will go out with you if you honestly just ask them out. Be confident about it, and they will go out with you.
 
These threads always annoy me because they're unneeded. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're nice or an asshole because you can get girls either way. There are many, many types of girls and they all have different taste, personalities, etc. Some girls go for assholes; others don't. If you're not getting a bite in one spot then perhaps it would be better for you to move elsewhere.

Don't be a doormat. Keep your self-interest in check. Don't bend over backwards for anyone. Don't allow people to walk on you. Once you place yourself in the dirt you may as well make your home there.
 
sedaku said:
She's offering a piece of herself (her taste in music), and you assuming you have to reply by offering a piece of yourself (your opinion on the band). That's the wrong way to do it.

The right answer would be somewhere along the line of e) "what do you like about them"? "do you go to any of their concerts?", "what's your favorite song, album, member?"...etc

Girls don't need you to comment on their taste, they don't need you agreeing with them either. There are a thousand better responses than bringing up your negative taste, they made better conversation too.

Girl would be way more impressed if you act like you are trying to understand them, or trying to know them better instead of judging them. AND they love attention.

Rule of thumb is your opinion doesn't matter, you don't even have to bring your taste up.

Worry about how you sound, how you look, how you think all the time will only make you seem like a selfish, unconfident asshole. Or a pussy if you try to be nice at the same time.

Let them do the talking, it's easier that way.
Click to expand...
This advice is good stuff but you have to be judicious with it. I can get the ball rolling with relationships using it no problem but I also get burned out on a relationship real fast because of it too. (I spend too much time talking to people in the outside world that don't give a shit about what I have to say already. Don't need that crap from someone trying to enslave me for the rest of my life!)
 
Someone earlier mentioned that many women want men who remind them of their fathers..

However, this really depends on how their fathers treated them when they were growing up.

Daddy's girl types, who had a warm relationship w/ their father when they were kids, are likely to be attracted to men who resemble their fathers.

On the other hand, women who had an unhealthy relationship with their father growing up will be much less likely to be attracted to men who remind them of their father.

Maybe this is why so many Asian girls go for white guys?

Since a lot of traditional Asian fathers are very authoritarian and emotionally distant...sometimes abusive.
 
Synth_floyd said:
Recently I realized my failures in dating and women are due to the fact that I am a stereotypical "nice guy." Aka, a boring pussy who is simply trying to please others at the expense of himself and this is apparent to everyone else and they respond appropriately. I've done my fair share of dating but most times it ends after the first date as at first I thought I was too ugly maybe or boring but I realize it's because I'm too "nice." I've heard general advise like "be more assertive" and "do what you want, not what others want" and of course the "be cocky and funny" but what exactly do these mean? I've already screwed up enough potential relationships because of my weakness so what are some ways to gain confidence and be more assertive without just turning into an asshole?
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Rent a couple of Errol Flynn movies and just act like him.
 
Something drastic has to happen to you to break your nature. Getting cheated on by a girl you love, for example. That will harden you the fuck up real quick.
 
Well, the stay away strategy does work. My ex SWORE she didn't need a person like me anymore in her life. So I let her go a week and a half. I get a text last night saying that every time a song came on it reminded her of me, and that we should hang out today.

I told her no because as a former nice guy, I have finally found not only confidence, but self worth. Why the hell would I want to continue to submit to a girl who tells me she preferred the "old" me when I feel like I have finally broken out of my shell and am more open to just asking that girl out.

In truth, I probably shouldn't have slapped her on the ass after seeing her for the first time in over a year, but that's another story...
 
When she's depressed make a joke about how she should take anti depressants like prozac.
When she claims something on her body hurts, tell her to cut it off.
When she says she's bored. Tell her to go suck a nail.

Don't buy her anything.

Don't be like "you're ugly" though. It should always be a reaction to her.
 
Absinthe said:
There's no way in hell I'm reading through all of that fucking armchair psychology and posturing.
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But you read this thread.

It's basically her experience (and mine) with people who think they're nice guys -- Nice guys vs "Nice Guys." One group is actually nice, the other group uses their supposed niceness to cover up the fact that they're pathetic assholes and rather misogynist. I've seen it happen again and again, quite often on GAF. Her article is a really good summary on her experiences with these types, and I think it's very true.

The moral of the story is the same as this thread: be an interesting person, not useless, manipulative shell of a man and everything will work out for you.
 
Synth_floyd said:
Recently I realized my failures in dating and women are due to the fact that I am a stereotypical "nice guy." Aka, a boring pussy who is simply trying to please others at the expense of himself and this is apparent to everyone else and they respond appropriately. I've done my fair share of dating but most times it ends after the first date as at first I thought I was too ugly maybe or boring but I realize it's because I'm too "nice." I've heard general advise like "be more assertive" and "do what you want, not what others want" and of course the "be cocky and funny" but what exactly do these mean? I've already screwed up enough potential relationships because of my weakness so what are some ways to gain confidence and be more assertive without just turning into an asshole?
Click to expand...

same shit here, I mean this shit is carrying over to work; i am too fucking nice to people.
 
OpinionatedCyborg said:
But you read this thread.

It's basically her experience (and mine) with people who think they're nice guys -- Nice guys vs "Nice Guys." One group is actually nice, the other group uses their supposed niceness to cover up the fact that they're pathetic assholes and rather misogynist. I've seen it happen again and again, quite often on GAF.

The moral of the story is the same as this thread: be an interesting person, not useless, manipulative shell of a man and everything will work out for you.
Click to expand...

As I've said before, there are many things to take into consideration. It's hard to give people advice on women because every woman is different. Some women like assholes. Some women like nice guys. Some women like a combination. There are so many different variations and instances that it boggles the mind. It's all about confidence more than anything. If a woman rejects you then she is robbing herself. She is depriving herself. If you don't think like that then you're fucked.
 
Absinthe said:
As I've said before, there are many things to take into consideration. It's hard to give people advice on women because every woman is different. Some women like assholes. Some women like nice guys. Some women like a combination. There are so many different variations and instances that it boggles the mind. It's all about confidence more than anything. If a woman rejects you then she is robbing herself. She is depriving herself. If you don't think like that then you're fucked.
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She's not depriving herself of anything if she doesn't like you. If she decided to go out with you and she wasn't attracted to you, she'd be depriving herself of a worthwhile date. Likewise, you'd be depriving yourself of a worthwhile girlfriend. If you need mind games to make yourself feel confident, so be it...
 
OpinionatedCyborg said:
She's not depriving herself of anything if she doesn't like you. If she decided to go out with you and she wasn't attracted to you, she'd be depriving herself of a worthwhile date. Likewise, you'd be depriving yourself of a worthwhile girlfriend. If you need mind games to make yourself feel confident, so be it...
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Oh, but she would be.
 
:lol
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errolflynn250.jpg
 
OpinionatedCyborg said:
There are plenty of fish in the sea. I'm bet there are even several other Absinthes out there. Sorry, even you aren't that special.
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Whatever. The fact remains that I think that most women are fucking cunts and will be treated accordingly.
 
Just be weary about taking advice about specific women on the internet. There are so many variables that the people you ask have NO idea about. Only YOU know what is good or bad for you, we can only guide you to see the potential in yourself rather than the potential of what OTHERS see in you.
 
Alright, that's it. I'm going to put this little no masturbation method to the test for one whole month and see if I handle myself better around the ladies. I smell bullshit, but I'm intrigued. It's worth pointing out that I usually can't go for more than two days without doing the deed, and don't make it a habit to talk to random girls. This will be an interesting challenge to say the least.

I'll try to keep you guys posted on my results.
 
NaughtyCalibur said:
Alright, that's it. I'm going to put this little no masturbation method to the test for one whole month and see if I handle myself better around the ladies. I smell bullshit, but I'm intrigued. It's worth pointing out that I usually can't go for more than two days without doing the deed, and don't make it a habit to talk to random girls. This will be an interesting challenge to say the least.

I'll try to keep you guys posted on my results.
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What the hell.... i'm in too.
 
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