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Dawson's Creek: Watch Me Die Slowly

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White Man

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Ok, I watched the first episode and a half of Dawson's Creek, and it is pretty much the most awful show ever created.

The first scene of the pilot features Dawson and Joey in Dawson's bedroom watching ET. They're 15. Joey goes to leave for the night, and Dawson asks why she doesn't spend the night over like they have since they were kids. Joey explains that they are changing and as hormonally fueled teens, it's probably not such a hot idea to do that any more. Dawson eventually convinces Joey to stay over, as innocently as she always has.

Now, looking at that brief description, you'd think this could be a nice beginning to an awkward coming-of-age story about lost innocence, or the arbitrary nature of growing up. The unignorable problem that rears its hideous hydra head is the dialogue: These two 15 year olds talk like they're thesaurus- and meth-fueled graduate student screenwriters. Over the course of the episode, there are words used that I'd not brave to try to spin in a conversation. There are cultural references that made me glad I was surfing IMDB while watching. In short, these "kids" don't talk like teenagers at all.

Now, after a steady diet of Buffy and <3 Veronica Mars, I've built up a healthy suspension of disbelief when it comes to precocious teenagers, and after the especially soap opera-y second season of VM (which I mostly enjoyed), I thought I'd be able to swallow Dawson's Creek easily. How wrong I was! Either the writers for this show are completely out of touch, or they're doing something over my head. Since I refuse to give up on the first season, I have formulated a reason that the show is the way it is:

I think the show is a fairly high concept deconstruction of puberty. The writers are playing a game: What would happen if you took a mid-20s to mid-30s person, injected them with the hormones of a 15 year old, gave them a bunch of plastic surgery to make them inexplicably look about 5 years older than the 15 year olds they will be portraying, and tossed them back in high school? Dawson's Creek, that's what! It's pretty much like Lost, except with high school instead of an island, and it's less dumb.


---
Note that I am changing the rules of my original challenge. I'd rather watch at a nice pace and give the episodes the appropriate rants they deserve. And I confess, I wouldn't be able to choke down 6 seasons worth of this shit in 2 weeks if I had a mouth the size of the moon.
 
I watched all the Dawnson's creek saisons and i even went to spoilers board (and some privy pro-Dawnson/Joey messageboard plotting against the pro-Pacey/Joey fangirls)
 
Apropos the reference-filled dialogue and a wit too big for their own self, it's one of the great charms about Gilmore Girls, so I can't back you up on that complaint in general. But I also think Dawson's Creek is a terrible show with lame dialogue, so I'll second that.
 
What happened to you White Man? You used to be cool.

I'm not sure whether that means stop watching the terrible show Dawson's Creek, or don't puss out on watching the terrible show Dawson's Creek.
 
Both Dawons Creek and Gilmore Girls have retarded dialogue. It doesn't make any sense for ANYONE to talk like that, no matter how large one's vocabulary is. Awful, awful, writing.
 
Defcon said:
It doesn't make any sense for ANYONE to talk like that, no matter how large one's vocabulary is. Awful, awful, writing.

DennisMiller.JPG
 
Defcon said:
Both Dawons Creek and Gilmore Girls have retarded dialogue. It doesn't make any sense for ANYONE to talk like that, no matter how large one's vocabulary is. Awful, awful, writing.


I'm kinda having the same problem with Veronica Mars this season. Many times the characters are too witty for their own good.
 
Defcon said:
Both Dawons Creek and Gilmore Girls have retarded dialogue. It doesn't make any sense for ANYONE to talk like that, no matter how large one's vocabulary is. Awful, awful, writing.
It doesn't make sense for people to talk most ways dialogue is presented in tv drama. Who cares what "makes sense" as long as it is entertaining.
 
It's true. I remember watching the very first episode way back when and telling my friends that the children sounded more like adults than the adults did.
 
Peru said:
Apropos the reference-filled dialogue and a wit too big for their own self, it's one of the great charms about Gilmore Girls, so I can't back you up on that complaint in general. But I also think Dawson's Creek is a terrible show with lame dialogue, so I'll second that.

I was actually discussing this very topic with Drinky. Gilmore Girls is excusable. It has a nice mother-daughter thing goind. You get the idea that these two have been through a lot together. The mother is intelligent, and it's rubbed off on the daughter. In Dawson's Creek you get the distinct idea that the kids are smarter than the adults. That's not the case with Gilmore.

Also, I pussed out because I realized I'd die. I watched 16 eps of Veronica Mars (a show I do like) on Saturday, and I was just about insane then. I can only imagine if I had watched that much Dawson's Creek in a day.

It doesn't make sense for people to talk most ways dialogue is presented in tv drama. Who cares what "makes sense" as long as it is entertaining.

And a good drama has to balance believability with suspension of disbelief. Despite any entertainment value, the dialogue and its content are of a caliber that is well outside the realm of possibility for 15 year old kids.

Also, I ****ing hate Dawson. That **** has a perfect ****in' life. I hope he gets drunk and makes anti-semetic comments.
 
White Man said:
It's pretty much like Lost, except with high school instead of an island, and it's less dumb.


---
Note that I am changing the rules of my original challenge. I'd rather watch at a nice pace and give the episodes the appropriate rants they deserve. And I confess, I wouldn't be able to choke down 6 seasons worth of this shit in 2 weeks if I had a mouth the size of the moon.

:lol :lol :lol

I'm proud to say that the most I've watched of this show was about 3 minutes and that was by mistake.

So when you say it's like Lost, but less dumb...do you mean Dawson's Creek is less dumb, or Lost is less dumb? I pray you answer correctly or some Lost fans (myself *not* included) may go all Lord of the Flies on you.
 
TheOMan said:
:lol :lol :lol
So when you say it's like Lost, but less dumb...do you mean Dawson's Creek is less dumb, or Lost is less dumb? I pray you answer correctly or some Lost fans (myself *not* included) may go all Lord of the Flies on you.

I don't think it's in my best interest to answer this question.
 
Dawson's Creek has some of the worst dialogue in a tv show. I knew that's what you were gonna complain about after reading the first couple of lines in your post.
 
And a good drama has to balance believability with suspension of disbelief. Despite any entertainment value, the dialogue and its content are of a caliber that is well outside the realm of possibility for 15 year old kids.

Sure enough.
 
:lol

As I browsed the Best Buy DVD section, I came across seasons 1 through 5 (or 6?) of Dawson's Creek today. It reminded me of White Man's plan... but I now see that Dawson has broken your frail little heart with the first episode. I'm disappointed. :p
 
One of the worst shows ever to become popular. You're in for a treat, White Man - the first season is actually the best one, there's a huge drop-off in quality around the end of the second season, beginning of the third. If it can be called "quality." :lol
 
You know, this reminds me. Did My So Called Life ever get a DVD release?

Also aren't there like 8 or so seasons of Dawsons? Christ I don't know why I'm tempted to spoiler this but
I thought the show didn't get out of HS till the very end. So they get held back alot? Or theres a giant disconnect between season and years? This isn't addressed at all?

And I watched S1 of VM within like a week and thought that was an overdose. This teen drama shit should come with a warning on it.
 
dude, whiteman, you gotta let the show develop!!! i used to wake up at 9am just to turn on TBS to watch their back to back episodes monday through friday. sadly, they've stopped that. i'm seriously contemplating picking up some DVDS....thank god for amazon.com...no way i'd pick 'em up at a brick and mortar store...
 
MAF claims that Dawson doesn't get any for the longest time, but he also says the show totally falls apart in season 3 when everyone gets Friends-y and start to sleep with one another. Does Dawson get any then? I really ahte him and want him to be left out.

And why do there appear to be no cocky assholish people on this show? There has to be a snarky asshole somewhere.
 
The "Dennis Miller"-ified teens thing has been parodied pretty much since the shows inception...there's a MadTV skit of lil kids(probably 8-10) playing Dawson and Joey, talking like adults but with their lil kiddie lisps, then a ladder shows up at Dawson's window, and it's Jen saying "Dawson...we've got to talk"...then Joey says "Ah, the inevitable love triangle reasserts itself", then Dawson says "Fade...to...black"
 
I did find it hilarious that the show started off focusing on this love triangle revolving around Dawson, but in the end he didn't end up with anybody. I actually thought that was the only realistic aspect of the show (there's no way any guy as whiny as Dawson is gonna be able to keep a woman). The Pacey character was a player though
 
White Man said:
MAF claims that Dawson doesn't get any for the longest time, but he also says the show totally falls apart in season 3 when everyone gets Friends-y and start to sleep with one another. Does Dawson get any then? I really ahte him and want him to be left out.

And why do there appear to be no cocky assholish people on this show? There has to be a snarky asshole somewhere.


Dawson doesn't actually get some until Season 5 if I remember correctly. Its the season where everyone goes off to college, and one weekend while he's at home, he hooks up with Jen (michelle williams) and loses his virginity.
 
bigfurb said:
I did find it hilarious that the show started off focusing on this love triangle revolving around Dawson, but in the end he didn't end up with anybody. I actually thought that was the only realistic aspect of the show (there's no way any guy as whiny as Dawson is gonna be able to keep a woman). The Pacey character was a player though


Pacey is the f*cking man. They might as well have renamed the show pacey's creek halfway through season 3, cuz by that point I didn't give a flying f*ck about Dawson, except to finally see his reaction
when he finds out Pacey and Joey are together, and that they've also been f*cking.
That was priceless.
 
White Man said:
Ok, I watched the first episode and a half of Dawson's Creek, and it is pretty much the most awful show ever created.

The first scene of the pilot features Dawson and Joey in Dawson's bedroom watching ET. They're 15. Joey goes to leave for the night, and Dawson asks why she doesn't spend the night over like they have since they were kids. Joey explains that they are changing and as hormonally fueled teens, it's probably not such a hot idea to do that any more. Dawson eventually convinces Joey to stay over, as innocently as she always has.

Now, looking at that brief description, you'd think this could be a nice beginning to an awkward coming-of-age story about lost innocence, or the arbitrary nature of growing up. The unignorable problem that rears its hideous hydra head is the dialogue: These two 15 year olds talk like they're thesaurus- and meth-fueled graduate student screenwriters. Over the course of the episode, there are words used that I'd not brave to try to spin in a conversation. There are cultural references that made me glad I was surfing IMDB while watching. In short, these "kids" don't talk like teenagers at all.

Now, after a steady diet of Buffy and <3 Veronica Mars, I've built up a healthy suspension of disbelief when it comes to precocious teenagers, and after the especially soap opera-y second season of VM (which I mostly enjoyed), I thought I'd be able to swallow Dawson's Creek easily. How wrong I was! Either the writers for this show are completely out of touch, or they're doing something over my head. Since I refuse to give up on the first season, I have formulated a reason that the show is the way it is:

I think the show is a fairly high concept deconstruction of puberty. The writers are playing a game: What would happen if you took a mid-20s to mid-30s person, injected them with the hormones of a 15 year old, gave them a bunch of plastic surgery to make them inexplicably look about 5 years older than the 15 year olds they will be portraying, and tossed them back in high school? Dawson's Creek, that's what! It's pretty much like Lost, except with high school instead of an island, and it's less dumb.


---
Note that I am changing the rules of my original challenge. I'd rather watch at a nice pace and give the episodes the appropriate rants they deserve. And I confess, I wouldn't be able to choke down 6 seasons worth of this shit in 2 weeks if I had a mouth the size of the moon.

That sir, is just about the best review of a teen soap I've ever read. Bravo!
 
White Man said:
MAF claims that Dawson doesn't get any for the longest time, but he also says the show totally falls apart in season 3 when everyone gets Friends-y and start to sleep with one another. Does Dawson get any then? I really ahte him and want him to be left out.

And why do there appear to be no cocky assholish people on this show? There has to be a snarky asshole somewhere.

Pacey is the cocky assholish person. That's why he became the most popular character on the show.

Dawson was never written very well. He was a boring character, and the show made the mistake of titling itself after him...
 
I think all American teen shows suffer from bad dialogue, I haven't been able to watch a whole show because the pacing, dialogue and general structure of conversations irritates me. I've actually walked away from women I've met if I felt their conversation/speech pattern/vocabulary were in any way influenced by the watching of American teen dramas.

Also Buffy "gets me goat" with its over use of dialogue, just kick monsters' arses.
 
Juice said:
That sir, is just about the best review of a teen soap I've ever read. Bravo!
Hear, hear!

Also, I don't think I ever want to watch this show, ever. From some discussion I've seen on the board, though, I think I really want to watch 7th Heaven. A drama based on an uptight, Kristian family sounds so unbelievably awesome.
 
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