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Diamonds are bullshit (no, not literally, but...)

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WonkyPanda said:
So, this is something that I just went through after spending about 11k on an engagement ring.

Now, one side of me clearly realizes the ridiculousness of the situation; we're talking factories full of diamonds with artificial constraints placed on the supply chain to shoot demand. Thankfully, I bought conflict free, but that doesn't excuse the atrocities that are committed for these rocks.

But, look, let's call it what it is: a status symbol. If you don't think others will judge you for the size of your wife's rock, then you're a naive fool and I applaud your demeanor. If that doesn't bother you, and your wife obviously doesn't care, then don't buy a ring; they're overpriced and bad investments.

With that being said, I believe it's a safe bet to say that many women would like a diamond of at least moderate value and I can guarantee they eye engagement rings with the same eye that any red-blooded male eyes a beautiful car.

For me personally, I knew that she didn't care about having the biggest rock or the nicest ring. I think she would have been happy with a $5k dollar ring. However, to me, she is someone so special that I felt going above and beyond and pampering her, so to speak, to give her the best that I could have, because she deserves it. And, truth be told, call me shallow if you'd like, it does make me happy to know that she does have a ring that will be judged in a favorable light by others.
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In the same boat as you. Proposed last year and ended up spending mid teens for a nice ring. She loves it and I'm happy I got it for her.

I've spent more cash on other hobbies without nothing to show for it whereas this ring will continue to shine for years on end. If anything, hoping to upgrade it down the road as my vendor (BlueNile) has a nice trade up policy.

Would she have been happy with something smaller and cheaper? yeah but it's more about what I wanted to represent.

As for the monstrosities around diamonds, I support oppressive oil shieks and communist Chinese that have no respect for human rights many times over with my spending so I tend to not care much.

haha she just commented, "it's really sparkly!"
 
RukusProvider said:
If anything, hoping to upgrade it down the road as my vendor (BlueNile) has a nice trade up policy.
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Spending money on an engagement ring is one thing, but trading up seems utterly pointless. Not just financially, but shouldn't the original ring represent the day you got engaged and have continuity?
 
I just hope you guys are getting big discounts. Start at 40% and work from there. The mark ups are huge so they have a lot of wriggle room.
 
I'll add that if you do go the real diamond route, research "eye clean" vs "loop clean". You'll be surprised that even with good lighting and perfect vision most people can't distinguish some diamonds that are separated by $5k. Most women cannot tell the difference between .80ct and 1ct unless they have something very similar to compare it to. If your GF carries a loop then please disregard my post and run for the hills.


D4Danger said:
they're diamonds. They're just made in a lab.
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From my experience, lab diamonds can't go far beyond 1ct without a lot of discoloration. A few years ago, most lab diamonds that size would get a slightly yellow tint to them. Nowadays, they're much closer (gemesis.com). Personally, for anything lower than 1ct, I'd go lab and nobody will know the difference.
 
Thanks for including those GIFs. I really didn't know how you felt about this until I saw those.
 
Seems like a fuckin horrendous waste of money to me. But hey, antiquated tradition and sparkly jewelry, what do I know.
 
Never understood the appeal of diamonds. If you're gonna spend an obscene amount of money on a gem, at least pick something with a nice colour. Rubies are pretty neat, likewise Emeralds.

Also digging the suggestions in this post. Heaps of great colours/effects there I wasn't aware existed.
 
adamy said:
mind = blown that this is new to some people
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If everyone knew it the industry would probably collapse practically overnight.

Though, honestly, I kind of suspect it IS slowly crumbling, the internet makes it extremely easy to discover this stuff and we're not talking about something that really looks particularly amazing anyway. But I haven't looked into actual sales to see how that actually pans out, or if people are just redirecting to less bloody alternatives.
 
Never, ever buying a real diamond. Never, ever marrying a girl who requires a diamond. I guess it sucks for people without a backbone and with no other options.
 
Eusis said:
If everyone knew it the industry would probably collapse practically overnight.

Though, honestly, I kind of suspect it IS slowly crumbling, the internet makes it extremely easy to discover this stuff and we're not talking about something that really looks particularly amazing anyway. But I haven't looked into actual sales to see how that actually pans out, or if people are just redirecting to less bloody alternatives.
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I think the diamond extraction and consumer sales are actually booming not struggling. Huge demand coming from China.
 
RukusProvider said:
Or just maaaaaybe people have different tastes. I know, it's a toughie!
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I'm talking about the people who actually care about where diamonds come from, and agree that they are huge wastes of money. Intelligent and pragmatic people. It's not a question of taste.
 
milanbaros said:
I think the diamond extraction and consumer sales are actually booming not struggling. Huge demand coming from China.
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When I started reading that I was disappointed... until I saw from WHERE. This makes me curious about how it is in each country then and the marketing trends in each, I can see a combination of education and economy causing a North American downturn, whereas it starts to take off in China because of their own economy.
 
Are the alternatives (which are pretty cool) typically a lot cheaper than diamond?

Is there anything on par or even more expensive that diamond that is still in the "affordable" spectrum?

I love some of the names that come up when you search on rare gemstones, so even though I'm not looking to buy a ring anytime soon I love reading these threads to learn something new.
 
Let's be real here. Needing diamonds is about a half-step removed from being utterly fascinated by scraps of tin foil.
 
lupin23rd said:
Are the alternatives (which are pretty cool) typically a lot cheaper than diamond?

Is there anything on par or even more expensive that diamond that is still in the "affordable" spectrum?

I love some of the names that come up when you search on rare gemstones, so even though I'm not looking to buy a ring anytime soon I love reading these threads to learn something new.
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Some of the antics behind acquiring other minerals/gems/metals isn't so nice either.
 
My grandparents and parents were jewelers and owned their own business so my wedding gift to me is my engagement ring which my dad will just make when the time comes.

I'm glad I'll never have to bother with it.. My good friends also get a special discount, so I'm well liked. :P

Growing up, I saw people waste money on the dumbest fucking shit you could imagine. People are so stupid with these things.

You know what they say about a fool and his money!
 
My wife refuses to wear rings because she says they annoy her. She asked me how much I was going to spend on her ring and the next day she accosted me with a handful of quotes for solar panel installation and said she would prefer that as a gift.
 
I don't know why people would get married these days, and before saying "it's a sign of the manifestation of our love, remind us of the significance of it" let me tell you those things don't substitute real love. Don't get married, problem solved.

The other immediate solution is to find the right person, not the first one you come across by.
 
As a guy who was married, for a decade, and might even get married again someday, I have one thing to say to these guys talking about JUST HOW AMAZINGLY SPECIAL their loved one is.

Don't put that pussy on a pedestal.

And fuck giving a shit about what other people think about her ring. If they give a shit, they suck. And if she gives a shit, she sucks. Or is at least a moron.

That is all.
 
My wife wanted sapphires and white gold even before I told her diamonds are worthless rocks that people lose hands to mine. I hope future colleagues don't judge me as a miser for obliging her request.
 
entrement said:
Yep. The brainwashing is strong.
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Yup.

My wife and I have pretty much identical views on money; we save, avoid debt, don't drive fancy cars, would rather pay off our small house than buy a bigger one, etc. We both work hard. When we spend, we spend on experiences (travel), not material things.

When it came to an engagement ring, she wanted a big diamond. I was honestly surprised at how adamant she was about it. I gave her a pass and got it - it's literally (and I know the meaning of that word :p ) the one thing she's ever acted like a princess about.
 
freddy said:
My wife refuses to wear rings because she says they annoy her. She asked me how much I was going to spend on her ring and the next day she accosted me with a handful of quotes for solar panel installation and said she would prefer that as a gift.
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She's a keeper.
 
freddy said:
My wife refuses to wear rings because she says they annoy her. She asked me how much I was going to spend on her ring and the next day she accosted me with a handful of quotes for solar panel installation and said she would prefer that as a gift.
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So awesome.
 
Ive never understood people that spend $50K on a wedding and loads on a ring - id rather a quiet, intimate ceremony with a few friends and then put $50K deposit on a house or something like this.

I know people who have spent $30K on their wedding (which apparently is not much on wedding standards) and put it all on credit cards, starting their married life in debt.

i think that is just really irresponsible. Also, the whole thing of having to invite friends of relatives and being forced to invite people from your office etc - just seems like a waste of money to me.

Id rather:

- Small ceremony
- Huge honeymoon holiday
- deposit for house.
 
adamy said:
Gonna have to disagree with this point. You give people way too much credit.
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I think you're giving people too much credit if you really believe that only "some" dont know that.
I am sure that the vast majority of people think diamonds are rare and dont know that the supply is kept limited to raise the price.
 
Haly said:
Synthetic diamonds.
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Any recommendations on a good online dealer to buy synthetic diamonds?

Yes, I got my wife a real diamond years ago, paying a good bundle for it. We also had a custom band made for it. Since then, I think she would be amenable to going the synthetic route this time. I would definitely be up front with it.
 
Tenks said:
Not really. I know the full background on diamonds and I was the one who actually steered us in that direction. Real talk; if you don't buy your girl a diamond engagement ring everyone will think it is because you're a cheap skate. It sucks but it is the reality of the situation. So now, for the rest of your life, you'll have people looking down at your wife's hand, seeing a non-diamond and secretly judging you. Yeah I understand the whole "don't care what people think" but these could be people you should care what they think. So now you have to explain and get on your super annoying soapbox about the atrocities of the diamond industry. It isn't something I was willing to put up with my entire life. Buying the diamond cost me an extra thousand dollars but kept me away from many, many future headaches.
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This is not true at all. Because she gives a shit about negative externalities caused by our capitalist world system, she told me that would take back the ring if it had a diamond in it.

I was going to get her a ruby because it's our shared birthstone, but I read about Burma and the ruby monopoly going on there.

We ended up going with a blue sapphire and she has only received compliments on it. If you're so insecure that people will think you're cheap than maybe you should take off the fedora.
 
I think I've made my feelings clear already, there sre ethical ways of acquiring these gemstone and really I can understand why people would invest in them as a symbol or tradition.

At the same time, its the greatest msrketing ploy thats ever existed(when you have Royalty and celberties as your chief advertisers). Its history is largely disturbing, I don't even think the DeBeers company is allowed to operate on American soil.

Anyways, I don't really care for this product or the enterprise behind but in all honesty, I don't know if I can lecture anyone on thier gestures of love.
 
J-Rod said:
I doubt most people are intensely aware about how diamonds are mined or how many products are made under slave like conditions. It doesn't mean everyone with a diamond ring are shallow and stupid. What is stupid is to characterize everyone like that and it is a bit hypocritical too considering almost nobody's hands are clean when it comes to buying shit that was made by exploiting people in poorer countries.
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LuchaShaq said:
Expensive diamond dug up by slaves/price controlled by cartells
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Haly said:
Never buy their diamonds unless you want blood on your hands.
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A lot of people posting about the unethical practices involved in diamond mining is commendable... but somewhat ironic.
 
So many people in here have no sense of romance.

I spent about 5k on my wife's engagement ring. I would have loved to spend more if I had a better job at the time. For our wedding bands we both got diamonds in them. As a man I'm proud to wear a wedding ring that has diamonds in it. I like that the thing that I wear every day which represents my marriage is actually worth something.
Our wedding cost us about 50k. It was the most beautiful, romantic day of our lives. Worth every dollar.
I'm planning on buying my wife some nice diamond earrings soon. Not for any occasion, just because I love her.
Fuck money. It's worthless and meaningless.

And no, I'm not rich.
And I do shop around and try not to support dodgy companies.
 
It's not always a trade off between a ring and a honeymoon/house down payment/some other thing. That's why I waited until I was 30 to get married, because I wanted to be well established first. I think it worked out pretty great for us.
 
Yep, all the blood on the hands means if someone wants a diamond.. ain't gonna work.

There's plenty of no-diamond women out there. If they want 18,000$ worth of something, it's going to be the down payment on our house.

edit: Hell, they're going to have to put up with me not wearing a ring. I just don't like wearing them, it's extremely irritating to me to have a ring or a watch on for some reason.
 
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