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[GrayFoxPL]

Nope. Fear of spiders (like most phobias) is learned.

That's silly, spiders never post pretending to be people.

It's you again 8 legged Alien!

 

[Bgamer90]

NO NO NO NO NO.

 

[Menome]

NO NO NO NO NO.

#Mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia LET ME GO#

 

[Saint Gregory]

the leg span is roughly the width of a dollar bill, not sure if this one is actually hobo, think I will release it

Wait, do you mean the long way across width of a dollar bill?!?!?!

If so please don't release that thing, I don't want to chance it somehow making its way across country to find me in Maryland D:

 

[GhaleonEB]

Looks like a house spider, but it's hard to tell. I'd be cautious. I have lots of them around my house and every now and then some that large get inside.

This was on my front porch a few months ago:

And this was under my crawl space when I was doing work there:

For scale, the tube off to the left is about as wide around as a tube of toilet paper.

They scare the hell out of me but are usually harmless. Usually.

 

[Irnbru]

Looks like a house spider, but it's hard to tell. I'd be cautious. I have lots of them around my house and every now and then some that large get inside.

This was on my front porch a few months ago:


And this was under my crawl space when I was doing work there:



For scale, the tube off to the left is about as wide around as a tube of toilet paper.

They scare the hell out of me but are usually harmless. Usually.

You could probably get Australian citizenship with all the crazy bugs you deal with jeez.

 

[Jaeger]

FUCK THAT.

And did he say "...I caught "one""?

 

[striferser]

Don't burn your house down.
Ask someone with guts to take care of it for you

 

[The Elite]

The first thing I do when I enter one of these "Found spiders what do I do?" threads is look at the OP's location.

OP update your location.

Is it just me?

 

[Menome]

The first thing I do when I enter one of these "Found spiders what do I do?" threads is look at the OP's location.

OP update your location.

Is it just me?

Do you have a blacklist in your TARDIS data banks of places to never land?

-Australia
-OP's house
-Metebelis 3

 

[GhaleonEB]

The first thing I do when I enter one of these "Found spiders what do I do?" threads is look at the OP's location.

OP update your location.

Is it just me?

He's in Oregon. For now, at least.

 

[TheJLC]

Yup... Do this to your closet.

 

[Perfect Cha0s]

Looks like a house spider, but it's hard to tell. I'd be cautious. I have lots of them around my house and every now and then some that large get inside.

This was on my front porch a few months ago:

And this was under my crawl space when I was doing work there:

For scale, the tube off to the left is about as wide around as a tube of toilet paper.

They scare the hell out of me but are usually harmless. Usually.

Uh huh, sure. Since I didn't see your hand in either of those pictures, I'm going to assume you're their spider overlord here to do some astroturfing PR work.

 

[Cragvis]

Looks like a house spider, but it's hard to tell. I'd be cautious. I have lots of them around my house and every now and then some that large get inside.

And this was under my crawl space when I was doing work there:

For scale, the tube off to the left is about as wide around as a tube of toilet paper.

....

 

[Stinkles]

Oh, then it totally might be hobo spiders.

Make sure your will is up to date.

Yep we get em in our basement. No brown recluses though, despite everyone claiming they do.

 

[Twilight Gap]

List of places to never visit:

Australia
Florida
Oregon

 

[Saint Gregory]

List of places to never visit:

Australia
Florida
Oregon

Come on now, aside from the bath salt zombies Florida isn't really that bad. I see way more lizards there than giant spiders.

 

[dalin80]

Don't do anything rash OP.

Ok, that video is fucking terrifying.

Seriously, I'm not sleeping tonight.

 

[Legendarybeepa]

I clicked on this thread and started reading the OP. The picture suddenly appeared, I screamed and threw my ipad across the floor and called for my wife to come and get rid of the page. I was on the shitter at the time.

Not my finest moment.

 

[agrajag]

Nuke it from orbit, that's the only way to be sure.

 

[studyguy]

RIP OP

 

[Saint Gregory]

Nuke it from orbit, that's the only way to be sure.

It was done

Too bad we all got caught in the chain reaction :'(

 

[Messofanego]

Come on now, aside from the bath salt zombies Florida isn't really that bad. I see way more lizards there than giant spiders.

Dude, lizards are awesome. Whenever we go back to our Pakistan house, there's always one running around probably gobbling some insects.

 

[Ape Gone Insane]

Went to wipe my face with a towel today and as I was rubbing, I felt a ball of string in the towel. I clutched it and pulled it out and it was a big black spider wriggling about in my hand. Dropped it and nope'd the fuck out of there.

 

[P3P5I]

Went to wipe my face with a towel today and as I was rubbing, I felt a ball of string in the towel. I clutched it and pulled it out and it was a big black spider wriggling about in my hand. Dropped it and nope'd the fuck out of there.

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg nooooooooooooooo

Just turn the stove on and never look back.

 

[jaythagamer]

Went to wipe my face with a towel today and as I was rubbing, I felt a ball of string in the towel. I clutched it and pulled it out and it was a big black spider wriggling about in my hand. Dropped it and nope'd the fuck out of there.

Well done, I cringed

 

[Ape Gone Insane]

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg nooooooooooooooo

Just turn the stove on and never look back.

Well done, I cringed

I only just spotted a small bite mark on my thumb where I held it as it was squirming around.

Time to amputate.

 

[jaythagamer]

I only just spotted a small bite mark on my thumb where I held it as it was squirming around.

Time to amputate.

I'm sorry
take the whole arm, to be safe

 

[Mlatador]

Funny thing is, spiders are probably as afraid of huge-ass humans as they are of them. When you find one in your towel, you're like "Aaaaahhh, SPIDER!" while the spider is "Oh shit, GIAAANT!!!".

And then, if you are a good person, the stupid game begins. You grab a glass and are like "Alright, little buddy, I'm gonna catch you and bring you out, just don't move"´, while the spider is "Mothafucka is coming after me, retreat!!!".

 

[theytookourjobz]

Funny thing is, spiders are probably as afraid of huge-ass humans as they are of them. When you find one in your towel, you're like "Aaaaahhh, SPIDER!" while the spider is "Oh shit, GIAAANT!!!".

And then, if you are a good person, the stupid game begins. You grab a glass and are like "Alright, little buddy, I'm gonna catch you and bring you out, just don't move"´, while the spider is "Mothafucka is coming after me, retreat!!!".

You seem to have some uncanny insight into the inner monologue of a spider... Hmm...

 

[Carbonox]

Don't worry not dead yet, though I'm sure some of you would like me to be. You will never get your hands on my stash of pornographic dota comics beneath my mattress! Cleared out most the closet, didn't find anything; none of the funneled cobwebs that hobo spiders create. Which makes me think that they were just hiding in the closet as I recently learned my sister was the aggressor in the situation.

She told me that she was just sitting there on tumblr, with headphones in listening to music when she heard this tapping. She turned to see this spider crawling beneath the sliding door, so she gets the fly swatter and chases it away. She told me she lost it so she grabbed her knife and went back to what she was doing. Later is when she said it came back, this time with it's little fangs or whutever they are called reared up charging at her, so she got her knife and partially stabbed it. That is when it curled up into ball and rolled into the closet. She saw at least one other in the closet, as did I when I got home.

I will have pics later of my search, and I'm beginging to think they might have moved on to another part of the house, possibly, not really sure though.

the fuck is this, critters?

SpiderGAF is the best GAF. No other threads make me laugh as much as these ones.

 

[Mlatador]

You seem to have some uncanny insight into the inner monologue of a spider... Hmm...

Spoiler

 

[Skele7on]

You guys need to man up, the spider isn't out to actually get you.

if it was, it has 8 legs so can out run you. can use string as strong as steel to bind you in a web, and it'll slurp out your insides after its liquidated them leaving you as just a husk.

Just get a glass and a sheet of paper and set them free.

Just remember every spider you kill has a family, they will come and revenge their sons/brothers/daughter/sisters death.

 

[Apt101]

I was cleaning out my dad's shed in prep for a move he and the new wife were undergoing, and ran into what had to be the largest spiders in Virginia. I did not know they got that big around here. The size of my hand, easily. Gruesome looking body, skinny shiny legs that looked like they were made of metal, striped I think.

Since I can't kill anything and am deathly afraid of spiders I let my then girlfriend capture them one at a time in jars and put them outside. But damn they were scary.

 

[stressboy]

Oregon here.. and the OP's spider looks like a Giant House Spider. Supposedly harmless but fuck do they get huge. I spotted one in my bathroom last fall that was the largest spider I had ever seen outside of a few black widows in California.

 

[Smokey]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRV4d9LCawU



EDIT.

Just find it hilarious he has his young kid there with him when trying to tackle that beast.

Shiittt Lmao

 

[Yrael]

Here's one of the biggest huntsmans I've ever encountered (it was on the wall just above my bed when I was travelling interstate):

It was substantially bigger than my palm.

 

[Mlatador]

That's a big one. Someone needs to start a kickstarter for a spider-catching device (without killing them), so you can catch them safely and bring them out. It would need a plastic arm, some sort of bowl and a mechanism that closes the bowl once you've successfully caught one.

It would totally make sense, because what do you do with such a big spider. I wouldn't want to kill it an make a mess on my wall.

 

[Yrael]

If I don't have any cups around that are big enough I usually just use my hands (after grabbing some tissue, so the spider doesn't bite me).

 

[twobear]

i thought that we only have shit spiders in the UK but like two weeks ago i found out that the false black widow is an invasive species here and then like two days ago i met someone who'd been bitten by one :[

 

[condompickle]

turn on the grill medium/high. 1 min each side. dip in ceaser dressing and sprinkle on parmesan.

 

[MikeDown]

I decided to take the spider I caught down to the woods by the park, I have yet to encounter anymore inside the house sense then. Maybe I'm safe?

 

[Menome]

That's a big one. Someone needs to start a kickstarter for a spider-catching device (without killing them), so you can catch them safely and bring them out. It would need a plastic arm, some sort of bowl and a mechanism that closes the bowl once you've successfully caught one.

It would totally make sense, because what do you do with such a big spider. I wouldn't want to kill it an make a mess on my wall.

Already exist, and pretty cheap. Not automatic, so you still have to slide the plastic in, but at no point are you at risk of touching the bugger.

 

[Mlatador]

If I don't have any cups around that are big enough I usually just use my hands (after grabbing some tissue, so the spider doesn't bite me).

Ok, that's some hardcore stuff right there, lol!

Already exist, and pretty cheap. Not automatic, so you still have to slide the plastic in, but at no point are you at risk of touching the bugger.

Yo, that's exactly what I was talking about. No problem if it is not automatic. What's that thing called. This is a really good idea.

 

[Menome]

I decided to take the spider I caught down to the woods by the park, I have yet to encounter anymore inside the house sense then. Maybe I'm safe?

Keep an eye out for a series of unexplained deaths near the park in your local paper.

 

[RCSI]

That's a big one. Someone needs to start a kickstarter for a spider-catching device (without killing them), so you can catch them safely and bring them out. It would need a plastic arm, some sort of bowl and a mechanism that closes the bowl once you've successfully caught one.

It would totally make sense, because what do you do with such a big spider. I wouldn't want to kill it an make a mess on my wall.

Back when I was in elementary school (1998), one of my classmates built a device just like that to catch small insects, spiders, etc. One hand and you could open or close the container, capturing the victims. He was even featured on a late night show. Maybe even hook up the catcher with an electric zapper or burner.

 

[VoxPop]

I caught one...

EDIT: Tried identifying it, and I looked more like a house spider then a hobo or wolf spider, so I took it into the wood down by the park and released it.

I hope you blindfolded it when you took it out to the woods or its coming back for you with its horde.

 

[Fularu]

I'll never understand GAF's usual fear of spiders.

Especially Giant House Spiders as it seems to be the case here. They're the best "antipest" you can have, and they're both free and harmless.

 

[echoshifting]

I was never really afraid of spiders until I met the hobo. We lived in a house with an infestation that was so bad we had to hire an exterminator. They came back though

Probably the one thing I don't miss about Oregon

 

[Ape Gone Insane]

Already exist, and pretty cheap. Not automatic, so you still have to slide the plastic in, but at no point are you at risk of touching the bugger.

I have one of these. Due to the size of the plastic, it can really only catch baby/medium spiders, anything bigger and you're pretty much chopping its legs off.