Yeah its pretty much this from everyone where I work.
Half the time too, you understand the players frustrations and you already know about the problems/hate, but you have a tonne of other stuff to deal with, its too late to change, beaurocracy, a whole tonne of reasons why you can't change stuff. Its kind of frustrating because a lot of developers know they can do better, or atleast really really want to.
Also its a personality thing, but I find it easy to ignore the people just spouting crap. There's always a subset of people that are gonna rage about pointless stuff.
I love fan outcry a lot of the time though, it makes companies and developers pay attention. It's easy to get stuck in a bubble.
I must say though, people calling out with death threats and saying people should be fired. Is just wtf.
If the criticism is salient (i.e. I was actually responsible for that decision, rather than it been an issue that was out of my hands), then I'd take those kinds of comments as a strong sign of displeasure... which indeed is exactly what it is.
Having said that... I think the biggest mind fucks as a developer would be having your previous words come back to bite you in the ass in a big way.
Case in point, Mechwarrior Online - sought crowd funding while making a bunch of promises to hardcore mechwarrior fans. Essentially promising an immersive simulation of the BT universe - only to evolve into an online shooter with mechs and simulator elements.
If they had sold it as the latter - it probably would've still recieved a large amount of funding (because it's been years since the launch of any MW product, much more one with a well received art style), but the current player base would not have worried too much about the changes to the state of the game (addition of a third person camera to provide new players with a better understanding of the orientation of their mechs and torsos).
And it would've given them room to maneuver into the in universe battle tech elements.
As it stands, they're pretty much in a no-win situation now given how many 'promises they've broken'. The trust is gone, even if there is a competent game buried in there.
So I guess the lesson of the game is...
Control your messaging. Don't make promises, only give people an indication of the direction you'd like to take the game and always tell them that you reserve the rights to alter the direction of the game upon further development, feedback and evidence. Until these things have actually been made and tested, it's all up in the air. Tell them it's a goddamn outline, and that the details will vary as the pieces start locking together.