Before you head off, without a doubt I can empathise and understand. It's why in my lifetime I'll probably only ever watch 5% of the anime ever made. I personally prefer content with thought-provoking storylines, and I'm far more choosy around comedy. I feel the same way about video games for example, where it can at times be challenging to find content that isn't almost exclusively "dude bro" or "sexualised on steroids". To quickly try and sum it up, I find it incredibly important to criticise, point out a lack of variation and for sure, to be exact in criticisms of sexual content, such as highlight when it's fired in out of nowhere. Often in anime, you do get a serious tone scene that just goes YOLO here's some breasts for no real reason. A lot of people watching that get... nothing out of that. Probably an eye roll and why.gif? I get that. I see it myself. What causes me to care more than people bashing those displays of sexual content is when I feel there is a little nuance lacking in being clear about what sexism/sexist behaviour actually is and isn't. The waters can get murky at times, sure, but as I've tried to say being sex-positive for me is accepting there will be content at times that isn't to my taste, or that I even give up on due to what the writers have done, but that doesn't immediately mean said content is sexist/writers are sexist/anyone who views and enjoys or doesn't mind are sexist. Sexism implies a serious derogatory view on women/disrespect. To some, that can mean any sort of sexual depiction of a woman or a woman's body, but that to me is where it can start to become like a puritan movement. It's also what causes the disconnect where some of said people will champion a woman doing as she pleases with her body as long as she is happy, but then turning around and contradicting that approach where they will be overly hostile to any displays of nudity/flirtation/sexual roleplay/etc. While it may be few and far between there are actually females who to enjoy sexual displays via characters/fantasy roleplay. I could never buy and display some of the figurines Japan kindly produces for the anime market, but hey, have a browse on Twitter and you'll find some girls/women who enjoy collecting and displaying. Cosplay is often a taboo subject because again, there are many sex-positive cosplayers who actively enjoy role playing as some of the lewdest or provocative characters to come out of games or anime or comics. Life is complex, there is a balance to be had everywhere, and often I just feel dealing in absolutes or extremes just isn't helpful. To be clear again, criticising or disliking a character for being sexual/not your interest is not the same as accusations of sexism.
I think what doesn't actually help here is the term "fanservice" is a pretty dumb one. It implies a double positive by nature "fan / service", but it's used to seemingly umbrella ALL the displays of sexuality in anime. Not just anything that can be argued as sex-positive. Of which there are plenty of seriously questionable choices/uses (such as children, I mean, 5,000-year-old dragons) thrown in along with the more harmless boobs and butt jokes or the main protagonist for the roleplay of fantasy/power getting all the girls. It's not all the same. For any sexist/borderline "illegal" content that exists in anime, there are other tropes that may be tiring, but they exist in all mediums in life whether it be games, tv, movies or books. As we're a sexual species it's not going to be possible to rewrite human history/biology and try and expunge all crude/mischevious behaviour that doesn't serve lofty goals. I mean, how many of us have flings/one night stands/fleeting romances/flirt on Tinder?
The point there is as long as humans are consenting and happy, sexual exploration/enjoyment and consumption will occur. I get that yourself and many others will routinely disclaimer "we're not trying to remove/censor", and I accept that, the key focus of my debate is on challenging anyone who in my opinion throws around accusations of sexism a little carelessly. Asking for more diversity, or trying to point out to content creators when they go overboard/make stupid choices is not the same as just blanket accusing people of quite a heinous act/belief system (sexism).
Ultimately though, we can both agree, about 80%* of anime is indeed trash
*
figure pulled from my ass, but it's probably true.
