This is only true if the entirety of your relationship revolves around sex and you're not very good at it.
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Does it matter how many sexual partners your so had?
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This is only true if the entirety of your relationship revolves around sex and you're not very good at it.
Foliorum Viridum
Banned
If you're not breaking the seal, no deal.
Devolution
Member
^5.
I am ashamed to say that when I read the word "hi" in your post, my legs spread on reflex. Oh dear.
Sex is a big part in a relationship for me yes. It doesn't revolve around it.
All according to...
Always-honest
Banned
the true mantra of insecure men.
Devolution
Member
If you enjoy someone's company, pretty much anything done with them is special. I don't see sex being less special because they've done it with others before. Other things don't get tainted this way do they?
kinoki
Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
I had this conversation with a "friend" yesterday. While every new person is something else and if you want to please him/her you need to learn the wiring since no two are the same. The worst thing in the world is having sex with a virgin. I hate how society wants to enforce abstience and how virginity is something pure.
Done that often?
Devolution
Member
In all honesty I'm telling my daughter if she's my physical replica to find a small dicked dude (or get her a small dildo to work with) to take her virginity before she plays the field. Mine was not just painful the first time but every time I had sex for weeks afterward. And dealing with big dick on top of all that. Just ugh.
Jaffaboy
Member
I get your point and you're right. But I would find the sex act with this person less special if she's done it with a lot of other guys. I wasn't talking about the relationship in its entirety. I chose my wording a bit wrong for that part.
Let me guess. You haven't.
If you meet someone that you share a 'special' bond with then good sex will naturally follow, regardless of previous partners. Unless you're measuring yourself against her former partners, I can't see why it should matter if there was one or one hundred.
Precisely.
"Shall we see a film hun?"
"Depends. What films have you seen with other men, how hard did you laugh and was there a nice meal afterwards?".
Devolution
Member
This is the exact sample I thought of too. Hah.
Foliorum Viridum
Banned
Or woman. Way to be sexist, man.
Devolution
Member
I tend to see the opposite with women when such a thing does occur. For the most part.
I dunno man, the ladyfolk that I've spoken to don't seem all that keen on male virgins. I think we might have way more hangups about that kinda thing. Plus, it's harder to please a woman than a man so experience is definitely a plus.
Foliorum Viridum
Banned
It was only a silly quip.
My missus had a few partners before me and I was a virgin though, so I'll brand her a virgin lover for the sake of this convo!
My missus had a few partners before me and I was a virgin though, so I'll brand her a virgin lover for the sake of this convo!
Roland Deschain
Member
Not important. But when I was younger there seemed to be a part in my lizard brain which preferred (almost demanded) that any girl I met should be as pure as possible. Probably just insecure.
Devolution
Member
You can install a new hymen.
Can guys get that too?
Devolution
Member
Yeah just throw some blood on your sheets and find a sobber.
Start watching anime and collecting figurines.
Zeouterlimits
Member
Does it bother me on some level that my girlfriend had more partners than me? Yes.
But I know it's stupid and unfair so I move past it and tell that dumb insecure voice in my head to get lost and enjoy being in love an amazing woman who makes you happy.
But I know it's stupid and unfair so I move past it and tell that dumb insecure voice in my head to get lost and enjoy being in love an amazing woman who makes you happy.
It mattered to me when I was taking my first faltering steps into sex as a teen. I reckon it's because the more she'd had, the likelier it was that they'd be better / have a bigger dick than me.
Nowadays, I couldn't give a shit.
never! regardless of the past, i think sex is and will always be special for all parties involved.
Devolution
Member
This is a worry for women as well but it doesn't project itself in the same manner. It takes the direction of being curious about exes or an unhealthy obsession with them.
Bomber Bob
Banned
Always-honest
Banned
Men have a hymen?
Anyway, i don't see many women explicitly asking for virgins. But i'm sure some like the fantasy
Almost verbatim. I like promiscuous girls but only if it's what she wants to do not cos of daddy issues or something.
No, it doesn't really matter to me at all. Though I personally might feel a bit intimidated, it's completely up to her (or him) how she deals with sex. As long as as the relationship will be monogamous when it's official, I'm cool. And if having had more experience makes her better in bed, I'm all for it.
Yeah, I once made the mistake of telling a girlfriend that the only reason I'd stayed in my previous relationship so long was because of the sex. At the time, my thinking was 'see how rubbish our relationship was!', but obviously that's not what was taken away from the conversation. You live and learn!
That's a good point. I've been working on the assumption that we're talking about a well-adjusted person that just happens to enjoy a lot of sex.
Always-honest
Banned
Bomber Bob
Banned
there is no such a thing like too many sex partners
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Obviously no. Ideally my partner would have more experience than me.
Bulbo Urethral Baggins
Banned
I used to be much more of a jealous person when I was younger, but I look back at those times with shame. It's really stupid to hold things like that against someone. I have to say it's a consideration in choosing a SO, but only in extreme circumstances. If I met someone who slept with 250 guys over the last year or two, I think I'd have second thoughts about settling down with that girl. I want someone who enjoys sex, but I don't want someone who will literally sleep with anyone.
We just discussed this peripherally in another thread, so I'll restate my position here. The traditional arguments against a high number of sexual partners -- that it makes one "impure" or that it is a sin against God -- are obviously silly or are reliant on religious convictions that not all of share. As such, those are not reasonable arguments .
However, saying that a large number of sexual partners is "not unethical" is not the same as saying "it's a good thing." Watching lots of TV is not something many of us would say is unethical, but we wouldn't exactly say it's great thing to do, or that it's a highly productive use of your time.
In other words, any complaints I have about promiscuity are comparatively light, and are certainly not based in traditional moral values, which, again, seem illogical to me. I tend to be drawn to aggressive, driven people who are highly accomplished, and thus don't have a lot of time to spend playing video games, or watching lots of TV, or seeking out lots of sexual partners. This is not an absolute rule and of course no person is a machine who spends absolutely no time on ephemeral pleasures -- I certainly don't exclude myself from that, either -- but people who spend a relatively large amount of time focusing on immediate pleasure are rarely going to appeal to me, and this applies to both genders and to romantic and non-romantic relationships.
However, saying that a large number of sexual partners is "not unethical" is not the same as saying "it's a good thing." Watching lots of TV is not something many of us would say is unethical, but we wouldn't exactly say it's great thing to do, or that it's a highly productive use of your time.
In other words, any complaints I have about promiscuity are comparatively light, and are certainly not based in traditional moral values, which, again, seem illogical to me. I tend to be drawn to aggressive, driven people who are highly accomplished, and thus don't have a lot of time to spend playing video games, or watching lots of TV, or seeking out lots of sexual partners. This is not an absolute rule and of course no person is a machine who spends absolutely no time on ephemeral pleasures -- I certainly don't exclude myself from that, either -- but people who spend a relatively large amount of time focusing on immediate pleasure are rarely going to appeal to me, and this applies to both genders and to romantic and non-romantic relationships.
Red Liquorice
Member
Sluts aren't sexy.
Man, Gaf sure does put a lot of emphasis on sex in a relationship. Like... 99% emphasis. My worry would be more on emotional problems that may be related to past relationships. I can move on from an ex pretty easy, but I've got friends who still think about 'what could have been' with girls THEY dumped.
shadyspace
Banned
People make such a big deal out of fucking good lord
Doctor Decimate
Member
that doesn't mean i have to know all about it. i'm perfectly fine not knowing how she learned to do that one thing with her tongue
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