Where's a backpeddling gif when you need it.
*activision, EA , ubisoft and perhaps some japanese publishers sit in a room with microsoft and sony
Publishers " hey so uh, for your next consoles is there anyway to build in PC style DRM , like right into the console itself ? make it so peoples games have to sign into their online account first sort of thing"
Microsoft " well, actually we do have something like that going on but we were going to leave it up to you guys to ... "
Sony ".. excuse me, excuse me, just interrupting... it seems we have a patent on something like this "
Publishers look over patent " oh yes this is fantastic, so we just sell people discs like always but only 1 account can activate the game license now .. hahah this should kill off those pesky used games sales or at least allow us some control over them "
MS " yeah I suppose that would, obviously we'll have to come up with something a bit more draconian... a bit more old school microsoft like how about our customers have to sign in online all the time to keep playing their games so we'll always know if anything has been tampered with and shut it down asap ? "
Publishers " oh... OOOH yeah we love that , stop piracy and used games ? we'll make a shit ton of extra cash now "
Sony " yeah well, we have this patent so you guys can go ahead and use it if you want , for now we'll stay the course but let you guys decide what to do with your own games "
*sony leaves*
Publishers " okay so seriously MS , how about you take a hardline stance , we'll give you a bunch of exclusive content in all of the multiplatform releases and it won't even cost extra like on the 360 , how does that sound ? "
MS " hrmmm well we've already got at least 10 million idiots who will buy this thing just to play call of duty and it would save us a bundle .. hell we could even use it on our own games, make it mandatory across the board"
Publishers " oh and well you're at it , get rid of that indy game bullshit , people might realize that anyone can make a fun game for a few bucks and stop buying our yearly roster updates and dudemcshoot games "
MS " well... we did foster a fair bit of that community but yeah what did they ever do for us ? we won't kill 'em off but how about it's mandatory to use an established publisher to release anything on our system ? "
Publishers " yeesss.. YESSSSS this is perfect. so other then the DRM thing, there's nothign about the xbox one that consumers may not enjoy right ? we want this to be a sure thing if we bet the farm ... after all "
MS " well we did build it as a fancy PVR and we think cable companies will help subsidize cost so we can probably sell it for 299 with xbox live and a digital tv deal with a local provider, so far no one is biting but it will happen eventually "
Publishers " hrmm... well, if things go south we'll still give you guys 12 months for sure, how does that sound ? I mean if that plan goes well we could all be rolling in it for years here"
MS " exactly, so gentlemen, until next year then "
MS and Publishers raise glasses of orphan blood and toast to diabolical planning
~~~ months later , after E3 pressers ~~~~
Sony " so yeah, it turns out consumers aren't as retarded as you publishers think, all we had to do to win their favor was NOT sound like complete assholes , looking at you there MS"
MS " man fuck you guys, the cable companies weren't convinced they should pay for half our systems cost and we built the damn thing to use Kinect so we had to charge 499 $ "
Publishers " hrmm.. yeah I think maybe we'll stick with that 12 month plan... for now in the meantime we wash our hands of all this DRM nonsense "
MS " but you guys were the ones that wanted it all in the first place ! "
Publishers " actually the story we're going with is that you forced it upon us and that's what we'll run with now , public relations and all that "
Sony " hey guys, so you can still do that shit if you want but it's pretty clear from over here that our customers have no intention of supporting publishers who won't let them own their purchases for the time being "
Publishers " yeah... well you guys are coming in cheaper and easier to develop for without a failed tv partnership to screw things up either... "
MS " oh COME ON (said in a Gob bluth voice) "
~~~~
yeah ... basically I think everyone should buy a wii U this fall, a PS4 next spring / fall and possibly in 2015 MS will change their policies and have a much lower price point so that maybe you can feel not terrible about buying one then. Too bad the old games will still cost 70 bucks though....
