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[Ceallach]

Ugh. I got underway today

Like, I know it's my job but I hate beig out on the open water for no damn reason. Also hate being away from my kid(and the $200 in sitter fees for a week stings a little too).

 

[RobotNinjaHornets]

Also how come waitresses at restaurants are so ridiculously good looking? Like I went to a burger joint and one of them looked like a supermodel version of Daisey Ridley. Like chill human race you don't gotta look that good

I feel like this doesn't happen in England but then I can't actually think of any times I've been to a restaurant recently

If I eat out these days it tends to be at a pub

 

[Jobbs]

ok! so what story do you make out of this grocery-stalker..I bought: a bag of chips, soda, a cup of mixed fruits, turkish pasta, baby spinach and cake mix.

Spoiler

addicted to food and desperate ._.

I'd call her Cody -- Not traditionally a girl's name, but ironically I think it works better as one. Cody is restless. Her overbearing family doesn't give her a moment to herself. She needs a way out. She needs a plan... But for tonight it's just chips and spinach and cake washed down by soda and turkish pasta.

 

[trab pu kcip]

Thats because your beauty leaves people dumbstruck

aww haha you're just the smoothest! :"3 I doubt that's the case though. I don't always look like my FakeGAF avatar..especially when shopping groceries..although I could make a mask out of that I suppose. of course people wouldn't stare then!

Haha, agreed, that is indeed kind of adorbs. Also, growing up is just way too boring.


oh this talk reminds me of cancelling my tv subscription thingie.

is it porn?

I'd call her Cody -- Not traditionally a girl's name, but ironically I think it works better as one. Cody is restless. Her overbearing family doesn't give her a moment to herself. She needs a way out. She needs a plan... But for tonight it's just chips and spinach and cake washed down by soda and turkish pasta.

actually not bad!

 

[Silphonica]

i almost always fall in love with my waitress at any restaurant. its annoying as fuck

 

[SystemBug]

You know what pisses me off? The bait and switch some restaurants do where they lead you to your table with the most attractive host in the building, then set you up with a plain looking server for the rest of the night. Not cool. Better just don't get my hopes up to begin with!

Oh yeah that happened lol. But we kinda got seated near the kitchen area so she was in eye view. Not that I was staring!!!

I remember one time we went to a restaurant and I swear to god the lady who took us the our table looked like a mix of Olivia Wilde and Emma Stone. Howwwwwwwwwwww.

 

[FloatOn]

Oh yeah that happened lol. But we kinda got seated near the kitchen area so she was in eye view. Not that I was staring!!!

I remember one time we went to a restaurant and I swear to god the lady who took us the our table looked like a mix of Olivia Wilde and Emma Stone. Howwwwwwwwwwww.

 

[Misha]

Will I ever be able to do this?


NO

I used to do something like that for a slavic dancing group when I was a kid. We did a lot of stuff that needed some flexibility that I probably didn't have
(obviously with very different clothes and stage and general mannerisms and the 90% of the stuff because my computer only loaded the leg kicking thing and I didn't see the rest so basically like none of it)

 

[LookAtMeGo]

aww haha you're just the smoothest! :"3 I doubt that's the case though. I don't always look like my FakeGAF avatar..especially when shopping groceries..although I could make a mask out of that I suppose. of course people wouldn't stare then!

Usually when I go grocery shopping I'm covered in hay and strands of hay sticking out of my beard with dirt all over my face and muddy boots. I look like a hobo.

 

[Prophet Steve]

aww haha you're just the smoothest! :"3 I doubt that's the case though. I don't always look like my FakeGAF avatar..especially when shopping groceries..although I could make a mask out of that I suppose. of course people wouldn't stare then!


is it porn?



actually not bad!

Usually I just take a picture of myself on one of my good days, and then wear that as a mask.

I don't think anyone has caught on yet.

 

[Deleted member 10571]

is it porn?

It is really not. Who would ever pay for porn these days.
Just regular old cable tv that I never ever EVER use except when there's guests. I feel I'd be way better off with a regular old Chromecast.

 

[Professor Beef]

Reminds me that I have to register to vote. This will be my first election as an American citizen.

Remember to clap once you cast your vote. Saluting or shedding a tear in front of the flag will also suffice.

 

[Fluvian]

We finally got shomi where I live. Netflix has its original content which I like but shomis movie selection destroys Netflixes here.


Damn, I should just PM you for ideas before I compliment anyone from now on.

Heres another classy line I use at the clubs. "Me Tarzan, you fine as fuck".....Can only be used on girls named Jane (or Margot Robbie)

 

[trab pu kcip]

Usually when I go grocery shopping I'm covered in hay and strands of hay sticking out of my beard with dirt all over my face and muddy boots. I look like a hobo.

oh no, the hay look is hot.

 

[3phemeral]

When did this happen? LOL

 

[Jobbs]

When did this happen? LOL

 

[You Know Nothing]

Remember to clap once you cast your vote. Saluting or shedding a tear in front of the flag will also suffice.

I always have a bald eagle on hand to let fly majestically after I've cast my vote.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Heres another classy line I use at the clubs. "Me Tarzan, you fine as fuck".....Can only be used on girls named Jane (or Margot Robbie)

Best line is "omg somebody farted, lets get out of here"

Bonus points if you actually fart.

oh no, the hay look is hot.

It must be the horse poo musk that gets people then.

When did this happen? LOL

Holy shit. Dude is creepy AF.

 

[3phemeral]

[edit] why are these gifs so big. lol

 

[Professor Beef]

I always have a bald eagle on hand to let fly majestically after I've cast my vote.

A true patriot T___T7

 

[Vazra]

[edit] why are these gifs so big. lol

Too big for you? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[Jobbs]

aww haha you're just the smoothest! :"3 I doubt that's the case though. I don't always look like my FakeGAF avatar..especially when shopping groceries..

Incidentally, I don't think I've ever met a girl I thought was pretty who could ever stop looking pretty just because of plain clothes or no makeup or whatever it is that makes them think they look bad on a given day. It's all in their minds!

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

oh god, that gif is revolting. Picking up on people not wanting to be touched is not a difficult concept to learn. huuuuuu.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

So now this thread is about Ted Cruz incest.

 

[Baroquemantic]

You know what pisses me off? The bait and switch some restaurants do where they lead you to your table with the most attractive host in the building, then set you up with a plain looking server for the rest of the night. Not cool. Better just don't get my hopes up to begin with!

They're just giving you a life lesson when they do that!

That foine piece of a host is just there as bait to reel you in. They're not actually concerned about you. That average looking server is the one who will make sure you're taken care of. They check on you and make sure you good without you even having to ask. They smart, they loyal, they grateful, and they make sure you are appreciated.

Restaurants: The Unintended Schools of Life

 

[You Know Nothing]

Even Ted Cruz's own daughter can't stand him. Impressive.

 

[3phemeral]

Too big for you? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I have various compensatory mechanisms to handle overload.

 

[Josh with a J]

Yo I swear nike stores always has the hottest girls working there

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

When did this happen? LOL

He's trying out Biden, Biden.

 

[trab pu kcip]

where do the hot guys work at then? asking for a friend.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

You know what pisses me off? The bait and switch some restaurants do where they lead you to your table with the most attractive host in the building, then set you up with a plain looking server for the rest of the night. Not cool. Better just don't get my hopes up to begin with!

I usually fall in love with the plain one over the overtly bubbly likeable one.

 

[Dai101]

where do the hot guys work at then? asking for a friend.

i own my own business...... oh wait, you said hot. Never mind then.

 

[Jobbs]

where do the hot guys work at then? asking for a friend.

Chili's. Always hot guys for some reason. I'd never take a girl there. I don't need that.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

where do the hot guys work at then? asking for a friend.

I work from home.

oh. didn't see that coming. oh. rimshot.

 

[Fluvian]

He's trying out Biden, Biden.

What is it with older men thinking it's cute to give pre-pubescent girls kisses? you just look like a fucking creep, even if it's your daughter.

 

[Baroquemantic]

where do the hot guys work at then? asking for a friend.

Babies R Us.

They believe that if a woman thinks they like kids, it'll increase their chances.

 

[Fluvian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9Za99O9-kw
It was barely acceptable in the 70's, let alone now.

 

[Vazra]

where do the hot guys work at then? asking for a friend.

I'm unemployed sadly so no hot guys working.

 

[Fluvian]

I'm unemployed sadly so no hot guys working.

The guys I work with are all super ripped, but they all have kinda ugly faces. Like weak chins, wonky eyes and really bad acne.

 

[Halcyon]

My now-wife says to me "I love stopping at Starbucks at this shopping center, it's a little pleasure in my life" when I first started dating her. She mentions it was a good place for first dates in her dating routine.

We stop there at some point. I immediately see what is happening. A guy works there that looks like David Beckham. Ice blue eyes and has a goddam man-bun. I understood at that point that I was nothing compared to starbucks guy. I was just another in the long line in her attempts to demonstrate her availability and longing for this Alec Baldwin eyed mother fucker.

I told her my gay-dar was going off and she was visibly deflated. He wasn't gay though. That glorious bastard was a slayer.


Moral of the story. I want a late.

 

[Jobbs]

What is it with older men thinking it's cute to give pre-pubescent girls kisses? you just look like a fucking creep, even if it's your daughter.

I'll kiss my nieces (and then contract one of the illnesses they gathered up at school) but I wouldn't try to kiss someone else's kids. That'd be pretty bizarre, but I'm not convinced Joe Biden is a pedophile, I just think he's Joe Biden. He's quite a character and sort of a force of nature when it comes to meeting people and being affectionate with everyone.

 

[trab pu kcip]

I work from home.

oh. didn't see that coming. oh. rimshot.

i own my own business...... oh wait, you said hot. Never mind then.

you do Dai? what kind of business? also managing their own businesses and never going out must be the trick cuz it explains why I never run into them

Chili's. Always hot guys for some reason. I'd never take a girl there. I don't need that.

yeah? I've actually been there a couple of times! my ex used to take me there on base here. we always had female waiters that were like...overly talkative and polite. these fake conversations are too much for me. I always wondered if it was an American thing they need to learn in waiter training to get tipped more or if it was because of my male company.
..but so yeah..only gals in my experience

Babies R Us.

They believe that if a woman thinks they like kids, it'll increase their chances.

time to get some diapers.

 

[Vazra]

The guys I work with are all super ripped, but they all have kinda ugly faces. Like weak chins, wonky eyes and really bad acne.

They got the body and I got the face now let my face rub over their bodies. #Gross

 

[liliththepale]

They're just giving you a life lesson when they do that!

That foine piece of a host is just there as bait to reel you in. They're not actually concerned about you. That average looking server is the one who will make sure you're taken care of. They check on you and make sure you good without you even having to ask. They smart, they loyal, they grateful, and they make sure you are appreciated.

Restaurants: The Unintended Schools of Life

All for the low, low price of 20–30%!

I usually fall in love with the plain one over the overtly bubbly likeable one.

Yeah, bubbly's not for everybody. I'm glad you know what you like.

I'm unemployed sadly so no hot guys working.

Sorry if this is too personal, but what's that about? Taking a break? Unable to find anything decent?

I've spent a few stints unemployed ("freelancing") but I always end up too bored, so I go back to work.

 

[Fluvian]

I'll kiss my nieces (and then contract one of the illnesses they gathered up at school) but I wouldn't try to kiss someone else's kids. That'd be pretty bizarre, but I'm not convinced Joe Biden is a pedophile, I just think he's Joe Biden. He's quite a character and sort of a force of nature when it comes to meeting people and being affectionate with everyone.

He might have been told it would look cute by his PR guy or something, I guess I'm just not very touchy feely, my dad put his hand on my shoulder the other day and my instant reaction was to get angry, but the whole family is like that. I've never in my entire life given my mother or father a kiss, I can never remember hugging dad and I only seem to hug mum on her birthday or something.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I like Joe Biden. But he does come off as an overly touchy fellow.

 

[Jobbs]

time to get some diapers.

Cody bought diapers. Hmm the story just got more complicated.

He might have been told it would look cute by his PR guy or something, I guess I'm just not very touchy feely, my dad put his hand on my shoulder the other day and my instant reaction was to get angry, but the whole family is like that. I've never in my entire life given my mother or father a kiss, I can never remember hugging dad and I only seem to hug mum on her birthday or something.

I'm a hugger. I'll hug people (men or women) if I like them. It's good for the soul. (also feels much cleaner than a handshake, ew hands)

 

[Clydefrog]

I've never in my entire life given my mother or father a kiss, I can never remember hugging dad and I only seem to hug mum on her birthday or something.

wat.

 

[trab pu kcip]

Cody bought diapers. Hmm the story just got more complicated.



I'm a hugger. I'll hug people (men or women) if I like them. It's good for the soul. (also feels much cleaner than a handshake, ew hands)

aw yiss, me too! hugs are the best.<3 although some people do weak hugs. they're the worst.

 

[Vazra]

Sorry if this is too personal, but what's that about? Taking a break? Unable to find anything decent?

I've spent a few stints unemployed ("freelancing") but I always end up too bored, so I go back to work.

Basically I apply to almost anything I find but a lot of places here are closing or reducing staff so it has been a pain in the ass but I also think in part my appearance might have to be another issue since I'm obese and well presentation counts I suppose.