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Family Guy - this show is NOT FUNNY

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seat said:
Can anyone find a funny quote from a recent episode of The Simpsons? To bad you can't. It's unpossible.
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There are some good funny quotes from the Simpsons. Difference is, they don't have the exposure that the older ones do (bigger audience that's older now).

I consider New Simpsons to start at Season 11. "Inflammable means flammable? What a country!" is probably the most recognizable quote from New Simpsons.

Top 10 from Seasons 11-20

10. Thank God it's Doomsday (season 17)
God: I don't know what you did to him, but he hasn't been the same ever since.
(shot of Jesus turning in a swing, alone)

9. You Kent Always Get What You Want (season 18)
Rod Flanders: What are you doing, daddy?
Ned Flanders: Imploring some people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish an innocent man for doing something that nobody saw. That's what I'm doing!
Rod Flanders: Daddy, we think you need a new mommy.
Ned Flanders: First things first!

8. Springfield Up (season 18)
Eleanor Abernathy, age 32: I just like to wind down by having a drink every now and then with Buster here. I may even get another cat.
Eleanor Abernathy, age 40: (screams gibberish and throws cats at the camera)

7. Dial 'N' for Nerder (season 19)
Bart Simpson: See that fat lady with the moustache? That's you.
Lisa Simpson: See that hippo rolling in dung? You're the dung.
Marge Simpson: That's enough. You each got one in.
Bart Simpson: Oh, but her's was better.

6. I'm Goin' to Praiseland (season 12)
Wiggum: What's that floating mask? You want me to shoot everybody?

5. Skinner's Sense of Snow (season 12)
Skinner: Nibbles, chew through my ball sack!

4. Behind the Laughter (season 11)
Marge: I can't believe it! We won another contest!
Homer: The Simpsons are going to Delaware!
Lisa: I want to see Wilmington!
Bart: I want to visit a screen door factory!​
Homer: This'll be the last season.
(editor nods)


3. Trilogy of Error (season 12)
Dr. Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

2. Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? (season 11)
Homer: I don't need Lisa to write a good review. The food at the Gilded Truffle really... What's a good word? (Maggie sucks on her pacifier) Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really... (looks at Santa's Little Helper) Come on, help me out here!
Santa's Little Helper: Ruff!
Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
Homer: Chewy! That's inspired!

1. Half-Decent Proposal (season 13)
Artie Ziff: I've traveled the world and the seven seas. I AM WATCHING YOU THROUGH A CAMERA! (Marge's eyes snap open)
 
Season 11 was still decent. Behind the Laughter was great. It really went downhill starting with Season 12.

Those quotes would be funny except...there's no context because people haven't seen those episodes. :/
 
vicissitudes said:
Season 11 was still decent. Behind the Laughter was great. It really went downhill starting with Season 12.

Those quotes would be funny except...there's no context because people haven't seen those episodes. :/
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Season 14 was point of no return. Season 13 wasn't that great either but it had many good and some very good episodes.
 
omg rite said:
Yes, I'm exaggerating, mocking some of the douches in this very thread.
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Haha. You're such a jackass. Never examine yourself. You would rob the world of jokes at your expense.



Administrator: And what are your reasons for wanting a Little Brother?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!
Homer: Uh, revenge?
Homer's brain: That's it, I'm gettin' outta here. [footsteps, and a door slam]

Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: [cheerily] I like stories.

Homer: Oh, Lord! Why do You mock me?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's a waffle Bart stuck to the ceiling.
(Marge pries the waffle off the ceiling.)
Homer: Lord, I know I shouldn't eat Thee, but... (munch munch munch)
mmm...sacrilicious.


10. Thank God it's Doomsday (season 17)
God: I don't know what you did to him, but he hasn't been the same ever since.
(shot of Jesus turning in a swing, alone)
Click to expand...

I say that's the funniest joke ever to include Jesus.
 
seat said:
Can anyone find a funny quote from a recent episode of The Simpsons? To bad you can't. It's unpossible.
Click to expand...

I can find plenty. Then again, I actually, you know, WATCH it instead of bitching about it all the time.

Also, is it me, or with a few exceptions has Family Guy been re-tooled as the Stewie and Brian show? I can't remember the last time Lois, Meg, or Chris was prominently featured in an episode. Peter had his chance last week (and man did it suck.)

edit: while i'm here, let's destroy all doubt in the ridiculous "Family Guy is better than the Simpsons" rhetoric that has sprung up with bite size Youtube clips.

Illegal Fireworks

Homer decides to teach

Inbred Kids

Trampoline Nightmare

Donut Hell

Lie Detector
 
DeaconKnowledge said:
I can find plenty. Then again, I actually, you know, WATCH it instead of bitching about it all the time.

Also, is it me, or with a few exceptions has Family Guy been re-tooled as the Stewie and Brian show? I can't remember the last time Lois, Meg, or Chris was prominently featured in an episode. Peter had his chance last week (and man did it suck.)
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Basically. Everything Peter does is stupid now. Lois has done nothing. The "everyone hates Meg" jokes got tired. They tried doing something with her a few season back but that didn't really do anything for me. Chris has been annoying since the beginning and thank God they seemed to have realized this. It's funny because Stewie and Brian didn't really do anything together for the first season or two if I remember correctly but now it's all they do (at least it works).
 
Also, it seems like Family Guy and the Simpsons went through the same thing. Started off as a great show about a typical American family with strange quirks. A talking dog, a genius baby. They get into some wacky situations. After a few seasons the writers run out of ideas. So what do the writers do? "Well let's see Peter is kinda dim-witted...let's keep doing that and make him do stupid things." Eventually it becomes "how stupid can Peter get? What kind of stupid thing can we get him to do this week?" and then the character just pisses you off. Same thing happened with Homer. Subtleties in character are milked for all they're worth. Sure Lisa is smart but it was never the focus. As the show went on every time Lisa opens her mouth it's some pedantic crap no one cares about. (I haven't watched the last 6-7 seasons so I have no idea what they're doing with her now)

The worst part of Family guy is the random flashbacks and drawn-out jokes. In earlier seasons jokes were drawn out to a point of being awkward, and that's what made it funny. The timing has to be right for awkward humor. Now not only do jokes draw out for way too long, way past the point of being funny, but they're so predictable because they've been doing this for years. Same thing with flashbacks. Too many now and you could see them coming a mile away.

Don't get me wrong, I still watch Family Guy. It still gets in a few good jokes in most episodes. But the show has clearly lost its wit. Actually I didn't think a lot of the stuff in season one was all that great. I'd take season four over season one any day. But the past two years or so it's been going downhill.
 
Sol.. said:
It's formulaic comedy is geared to everyone old and young nerd or jock but if you're left out ....Well i'm sorry then. I'm sure in the future they will make a joke where peter's eyes get real big and a big ass triangle replaces his mouth while a tear drop appears over his head and his arms flail wildly while a small panda bear fucks a orange and then it will appeal to your sense of otaku funny.



Whammy.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol

Damn that was good.
 
The problem with Homer wasn't that he got stupider, it was that he got meaner. He used to just be a neglient father who meant well, but these days he's a full blown asshole.

Anyway, back to the quotes!

"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?"

*Homer sits in chair, chair breaks*

"Doh! Stupid poetic justice."
 
AniHawk said:
There are some good funny quotes from the Simpsons. Difference is, they don't have the exposure that the older ones do (bigger audience that's older now).
Click to expand...

Am I the only the one that didn't find any of this funny? I stopped buying Simpsons DVDs at Season 9 because I looked at the episode list of Season 10 and I remembered all of them being fairly suckage.
 
legend166 said:
The problem with Homer wasn't that he got stupider, it was that he got meaner. He used to just be a neglient father who meant well, but these days he's a full blown asshole.
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I... don't really think so. They just removed all his humanity, really. The writing just got worse overall. Homer was really mean back in season 2, partly because he was more human. "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand" is probably the worst thing he's said throughout the entire series, because it was at a moment when the show was far more realistic.
 
Mr. Sam said:
Am I the only the one that didn't find any of this funny? I stopped buying Simpsons DVDs at Season 9 because I looked at the episode list of Season 10 and I remembered all of them being fairly suckage.
Click to expand...

Strangely, part of what works for me in stuff like "Dial 'N' for Nerder" is that the kids were acting like kids. The quote comes from when they were being lazy, just watching TV. I guess it's sad that I have to note that hey, this is something not totally outlandish and dumb, but I liked the episode overall. My favorite joke comes from a part without dialogue though.

The Artie Ziff line is sung to the tune of "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics, at the end of the episode.

Yeah, context is required for a lot of these.

The "I can't believe we won another contest!" exchange is good, but it becomes the best part of season 12's finale, since it's used as the opening piece of dialogue.
 
AniHawk said:
I... don't really think so. They just removed all his humanity, really. The writing just got worse overall. Homer was really mean back in season 2, partly because he was more human. "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand" is probably the worst thing he's said throughout the entire series, because it was at a moment when the show was far more realistic.
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Yeah I agree when the shows start becoming less and less realistic and the characters start turning into really exaggerated versions of themselves and less like humans...that's when the shows get bad.

Come to think of it this is also what happened to Heroes.
 
Rewrite said:
Both are excellent. :lol :lol :lol
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The best part was Marge going through the bag.

"Homer, I don't know what you have planned for tonight, but count me out."
Nathan Rain said:
More like...episode 10 :lol

Show has progressively gone downhill since launch. :(
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Company Man was episode 17. Company Man was the best episode of the entire series.
 
AniHawk said:
Strangely, part of what works for me in stuff like "Dial 'N' for Nerder" is that the kids were acting like kids. The quote comes from when they were being lazy, just watching TV. I guess it's sad that I have to note that hey, this is something not totally outlandish and dumb, but I liked the episode overall. My favorite joke comes from a part without dialogue though.
Click to expand...

Such a great episode. One reason I really liked this episode was cohesiveness of the plot. N for Nerder had great and solid story (even side plot was okay) and it buildup to a great joke.

My biggest problem with todays Simpsons is that they try to tie a bunch of small jokes together with a semi-coherent plot and usually it ends up in a mess.
 
AniHawk said:
When? Episode 18? 19?
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Err, I dunno. Who cares. None of them have jobs anymore (it seems). But that's for another thread.

Back to more Simpson quotes!

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

My biggest problem with todays Simpsons is that they try to tie a bunch of small jokes together with a semi-coherent plot and usually it ends up in a mess.
Click to expand...

Are you sure you're not talking about Family Guy?
 
vicissitudes said:
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
Click to expand...

:lol :lol

This has got to be one of the most brutal things ever said in the show. I just love how Hartman says "son" at the end of the sentence.
 
Man, this thread reminded me of how much I used to love the Simpsons. :-/

I used to come home from school and religiously watch the reruns on fox and WB.
 
vicissitudes said:
Season 11 was still decent. Behind the Laughter was great. It really went downhill starting with Season 12.

Those quotes would be funny except...there's no context because people haven't seen those episodes. :/
Click to expand...

One of my favorite episodes of the whole show!

Damn...looking at all of these Simpsons quotes, and then looking at the Family Guy clips posted, how can anyone even think these two shows are even in the same universe of funny?
 
Editor: Well you keep using words like "pasgetti" and "mamatoes". You made numerous theatening references to the UN. And at the end, you repeated the words "Screw Flanders" over and over again.




Mimi: Who are you and why are you ruining my retirement party?
Homer: I'll have you know I wandered off from the tour.
Editor: Well, at least you like the food.
Homer: Oh, I like food alright ...
[Homer breaks into song]
I like pizza, I like bagels,
I like hot dogs with mustard and beer
Editor: I get the picture
Homer: [continues, ignoring him]
I'll eat eggplant,
I could even eat a baby deer
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Who's that baby deer on the lawn there?
Editor: Enough already!
 
Is it time to start arguing over the best episodes of the Simpsons?

If so, I want to address Ani's neglect of Lemon of Troy and Simpson Tide.
 
platypotamus said:
Is it time to start arguing over the best episodes of the Simpsons?

If so, I want to address Ani's neglect of Lemon of Troy and Simpson Tide.
Click to expand...

Boo on Simpson Tide. I like it, but it's one of the average episodes from Season 9.

Lemon of Troy is good. If it was a top 20, there'd be a lot more season 6/7 stuff (Lemon of Troy, And Maggie Makes Three, Bart vs. Australia, Marge Be Not Proud, Mother Simpson, Much Apu About Nothing).
 
RadioHeadAche said:
Editor: Well you keep using words like "pasgetti" and "mamatoes". You made numerous theatening references to the UN. And at the end, you repeated the words "Screw Flanders" over and over again.




Mimi: Who are you and why are you ruining my retirement party?
Homer: I'll have you know I wandered off from the tour.
Editor: Well, at least you like the food.
Homer: Oh, I like food alright ...
[Homer breaks into song]
I like pizza, I like bagels,
I like hot dogs with mustard and beer
Editor: I get the picture
Homer: [continues, ignoring him]
I'll eat eggplant,
I could even eat a baby deer
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Who's that baby deer on the lawn there?
Editor: Enough already!
Click to expand...
A groin-grabbingly good team!
 
AniHawk said:
Boo on Simpson Tide. I like it, but it's one of the average episodes from Season 9.

Lemon of Troy is good. If it was a top 20, there'd be a lot more season 6/7 stuff (Lemon of Troy, And Maggie Makes Three, Bart vs. Australia, Marge Be Not Proud, Mother Simpson, Much Apu About Nothing).
Click to expand...


Oops. I only mentioned Simpson Tide because I thought it was season 12, and it would definitely deserve a mention if it were in the second half of your groups. Don't know where I got that idea.


I'd put Lemon of Troy in your top 10, but I think the one I'd switch it for would probably make you pretty angry, so read at your own risk...

Totally never liked The Way We Was
 
Hmm, checking out the episodes on Wikipedia, turns out season 2 kinda sucked as well. Didn't really start getting Godly til season 3 and onwards.

Now, in no particular order, my top 10 (forgive me if I didn't get the titles exactly right):

1. The Sideshow Bob episode at Terror Lake
2. The cat burglar
3. The Prohibition
4. Bart the Lover
5. The episode when Skinner gets fired.
6. Brother, can you spare two dimes?
7. Lisa's First Word.
8. The Monorail
9. Whacking Day
10. The "I Didn't Do It" episode.
 
platypotamus said:
Oops. I only mentioned Simpson Tide because I thought it was season 12, and it would definitely deserve a mention if it were in the second half of your groups. Don't know where I got that idea.


I'd put Lemon of Troy in your top 10, but I think the one I'd switch it for would probably make you pretty angry, so read at your own risk...

Totally never liked The Way We Was
Click to expand...

HERETIC!
 
Oblivion said:
Hmm, checking out the episodes on Wikipedia, turns out season 2 kinda sucked as well. Didn't really start getting Godly til season 3 and onwards.

Now, in no particular order, my top 10 (forgive me if I didn't get the titles exactly right):

1. The Sideshow Bob episode at Terror Lake
2. The cat burglar
3. The Prohibition
4. Bart the Lover
5. The episode when Skinner gets fired.
6. Brother, can you spare two dimes?
7. Lisa's First Word.
8. The Monorail
9. Whacking Day
10. The "I Didn't Do It" episode.
Click to expand...

Season 2's my favorite, though season 6 is probably the funniest. Season 7 felt like they tried going back to season 2 stuff. It was the first season to be run by fans who grew up watching the show.
 
legend166 said:
Lemon of Troy is just brilliant.

"Tute on son, tute on!"


"Rocky II plus Rocky V equals Rocky VII, Adrian's Revenge!"
Click to expand...

Bart's "Oh yeah..." when he opens the door with the tiger behind it again always cracks me up.
 
AniHawk said:
Season 2's my favorite, though season 6 is probably the funniest. Season 7 felt like they tried going back to season 2 stuff. It was the first season to be run by fans who grew up watching the show.
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Eh, I dunno. It wasn't bad by any means, of course, I just felt they were still getting in the groove during season 2.
 
AniHawk said:
Bart's "Oh yeah..." when he opens the door with the tiger behind it again always cracks me up.
Click to expand...

Wait, I thought that moment was on the houseboat when he was looking for a spot to jump off from Sideshow Bob?
 
platypotamus said:
Wait, I thought that moment was on the houseboat when he was looking for a spot to jump off from Sideshow Bob?
Click to expand...

Oh, damn. That's right.

That was another good one. One of the season 5 episodes that I really liked (and one of the last from Conan O'Brien).
 
Marge: Oh, you have nothing to worry about, honey.
Homer: Your mother's right, Bart. Sure, you're the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob's criminal schemes…
Marge: We're very proud of you, by the way.
Homer: …and sure, he's probably so insane with rage that he'd butcher you horribly if he could.
Marge: But, he's safely locked away.
Homer: In a medium-security prison.
Marge: For life!
Homer: Unless he gets out somehow.
Marge: Which is impossible.
Homer: Or so you'd think! Except he's done it so many times before.

The delivery of those lines by both Homer and Marge are fantastic. :lol
 
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
 
AniHawk said:
Marge: There's something different about Bart.
Homer: Did he get new glasses?
Marge: No, I think something's bothering him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I'd ask him what's wrong, but I'm afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant!
Homer: It is, Marge. Admit it.
Click to expand...

:lol What episode is that?
 
Another fragment that always cracks me up, is the part of The Springfield Connection with this guy:

6004FreakinGuns.png


Wiggum: All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is _not_ something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.
Man: Forget about the badge! When do we get the freakin' guns?!
Wiggum: Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name.
Man: I've had it up to here with your "rules"!


The guy's not even wearing a training outfit, and the twitching and the yelling and the arm gestures :lol :lol
 
Best Ever
1. Deep Space Homer
2. Homer: Bad Man
3. Homer Goes to College
4. King-Size Homer
5. The Homer They Fall
6. Lisa on Ice
7. Bart's Comet
8. Lemon of Troy
9. Marge Be Not Proud
10. Radioactive Man

Best Sentimental
1. Mother Simpson
2. And Maggie Makes Three
3. Lisa's Substitute
 
Souldriver said:
Another fragment that always cracks me up, is the part of The Springfield Connection with this guy:

6004FreakinGuns.png


Wiggum: All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is _not_ something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.
Man: Forget about the badge! When do we get the freakin' guns?!
Wiggum: Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name.
Man: I've had it up to here with your "rules"!


The guy's not even wearing a training outfit, and the twitching and the yelling and the arm gestures :lol :lol
Click to expand...


The way he says "rules" is awesome.
 
AniHawk said:
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
Click to expand...

I like how Homer kept bringing up the glasses. :lol
 
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