Stilton Disco
Member
I told them that fence wouldn't hold a Rhino!
...Oh no, wait, I meant to tell them!
...Oh no, wait, I meant to tell them!
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Favourite Simpsons joke?
- Thread starter SpaceWolf
- Start date
- Status
MetroidPrimeRib
Banned
I have three children and no money. Why can't I have no children and three money?
This one too
"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene."
"What country is this car from?"
"It no longer exists, but take her for a test-drive and you'll agree--'Zagreb ebnen zloty diev!'"
"Put it in 'H!'"
This entire scene never fails to get a rise out of me. It's so brilliantly-written and -animated.
This one too
Homer: This is my quest. I'm like that guy. That Spanish guy. You know, he fought the windmill...
Marge: Don Quixote?
Homer: No, that's not it. What's-his-name, the Man of La Mancha.
Marge: Don Quixote.
Homer: No!
Marge: I really think that was the character's name. Don Quixote.
Homer: Fine! I'll look it up! [heads off and consults a reference]
Marge: Well, who was it?
Homer: Never mind.
Marge: Don Quixote?
Homer: No, that's not it. What's-his-name, the Man of La Mancha.
Marge: Don Quixote.
Homer: No!
Marge: I really think that was the character's name. Don Quixote.
Homer: Fine! I'll look it up! [heads off and consults a reference]
Marge: Well, who was it?
Homer: Never mind.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
The opening segment of that episode was golden. 🤣
CalhounBurns
Neo Member
"I'm seeing double here...four Krusty's!"
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
'It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.'
Then the little laugh.
Then the little laugh.
Treehouse of Horror has some great ones:
Sideshow Bob: The deed is done...23 years of trying to kill an 11 year old child
-------
When Death is killed and Moe tried to hang himself
Moe: Gee if I knew it would take this long I would have put the TV on...
Pizza guy: Pizza delivery
Moe: Money's on the table, no tip
Pizza guy: You miserable bastard!
Moe: That's why I'm up here...
Sideshow Bob: The deed is done...23 years of trying to kill an 11 year old child
-------
When Death is killed and Moe tried to hang himself
Moe: Gee if I knew it would take this long I would have put the TV on...
Pizza guy: Pizza delivery
Moe: Money's on the table, no tip
Pizza guy: You miserable bastard!
Moe: That's why I'm up here...
minor effort
Banned
Homer:
OK, look: I've done some bad things in my life, but harassing women is not one of them. Like one time, we were having this race with the stupid olde timey bicycle with the big wheel in front, so I figure, "We'll see about that!" So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and...
OK, look: I've done some bad things in my life, but harassing women is not one of them. Like one time, we were having this race with the stupid olde timey bicycle with the big wheel in front, so I figure, "We'll see about that!" So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and...
Poor GRIMES
Banned
McGarnagle: You gotta tell them what you saw, Billy.
Billy: But I'm so scared, McGarnagle.
McGarnagle: You gotta do this one for me, Billy. McGarnagle.
Billy: OK. For you...McGarnagle.
[next scene]
Chief: Well, McGarnagle, Billy is dead. He slit his throat from ear to ear.
McGarnagle: Hey. I'm trying to eat lunch here.
--
"I'm telling you, I didn't do anything."
"I don't care."
--
"Bart. I don't wanna alarm you, but there may be a boogey man or boogey men in the house."
--
--
Billy: But I'm so scared, McGarnagle.
McGarnagle: You gotta do this one for me, Billy. McGarnagle.
Billy: OK. For you...McGarnagle.
[next scene]
Chief: Well, McGarnagle, Billy is dead. He slit his throat from ear to ear.
McGarnagle: Hey. I'm trying to eat lunch here.
--
"I'm telling you, I didn't do anything."
"I don't care."
--
"Bart. I don't wanna alarm you, but there may be a boogey man or boogey men in the house."
--
--
AlteredBeast
Fork 'em, Sparky!
"I'm seeing double here...four Krusty's!"
One of the best gags, for sure.
minor effort
Banned
Also a favorite from Two Dozen and One Greyhounds:
It's so sad but it never fails to make me laugh.
It's so sad but it never fails to make me laugh.
Rockin' Ranger
Member
Aaron Strife
Banned
My real favorite is probably Worker and Parasite, but just so we're not repeating ourselves:
Grandpa's line after ("Are you Baaaart?") is great too.
Grandpa's line after ("Are you Baaaart?") is great too.
blazinglord
Member
Two stand out for me:
When Homer takes Bart to the steel mill after he worries that Bart is gay.
And
When Homer takes Bart to the steel mill after he worries that Bart is gay.
And
openrob
Member
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Bashō!
Name another building!
Name another building!
Poor GRIMES
Banned
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
This is it for me, though sometimes I forget its from the Simpsons. Just every now and then I'll remember the headline and start giggling.
Skellig Gra
Member
Bake him away toys is another great one lmao
I don't have a favourite, but this whole scene always has me in stitches:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-vuVjiF8Jk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-vuVjiF8Jk
This as well (also from the same episode).
tiltnkirby
Member
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ6wSei-NJU
From 'Homie the Clown' where he beats the shit out of the Krusty burgler.
From 'Homie the Clown' where he beats the shit out of the Krusty burgler.
The Real Abed
Perma-Junior
That "STYX and STONES" record store joke is one of the best sign gags on the show since "Stoner's Pot Palace".
Plus Flanders himself enjoying the song.
"I've come to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels."
Strangelove77
Member
Fantastapotamus
Wrong about commas, wrong about everything
"They spell and pronounce their names differently"
No idea why but this kills me every time
Also this
No idea why but this kills me every time
Also this
Vault Dweller 111
Member
I keep agreeing with the posts and then the next one tops it. What a great show.
TetraxShards
Member
My real favorite is probably Worker and Parasite, but just so we're not repeating ourselves:
Grandpa's line after ("Are you Baaaart?") is great too.
"Does your father know you're working here?"
"It was his idea."
"In that case, I'll have a whiskey sour."
Fantastapotamus
Wrong about commas, wrong about everything
Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Sorry, there are just too many jokes I love
Sorry, there are just too many jokes I love
Fantastapotamus
Wrong about commas, wrong about everything
It's crazy that people can post a still image of a random scene and even without reading the caption or context I start laughing.
I must have watched every episode in Seasons 1-17 at least 3 or 4 times over the years.
I must have watched every episode in Seasons 1-17 at least 3 or 4 times over the years.
Sectorseven
Member
I have to go now.
Jeff Albertson
Member
I sentence you to kiss my ass!
Also 'That's the joke' is one that lives on!
I think my favourite has to be 'I don't know' though, Homers delivery is just perfect
Edit just thought of another that gets me everytime:
Brad Goodman: Be like the boy!
Everyone: [very quickly] Be like the boy! Be like the boy!
Brad Goodman: Just the ladies!
Ladies: Be like boy! Be like boy!
Brad Goodman: Now, the seniors at the back!
Grampa, Jasper and Old Jewish Man: We like Roy! We like Roy!
Also 'That's the joke' is one that lives on!
I think my favourite has to be 'I don't know' though, Homers delivery is just perfect
Edit just thought of another that gets me everytime:
Brad Goodman: Be like the boy!
Everyone: [very quickly] Be like the boy! Be like the boy!
Brad Goodman: Just the ladies!
Ladies: Be like boy! Be like boy!
Brad Goodman: Now, the seniors at the back!
Grampa, Jasper and Old Jewish Man: We like Roy! We like Roy!
MrPing1000
Member
Leonard Nimoy: My job here is done.
Barney Gumble: What do you mean? You didn't do anything.
Leonard Nimoy: [chuckles] Didn't I?
So good.
Barney Gumble: What do you mean? You didn't do anything.
Leonard Nimoy: [chuckles] Didn't I?
So good.
Michael F. Assbender
Banned
Way too many to name, but the first that popped into my head was:
Rhomega Beta
Member
Is that Ruth Powers near the top?
AlphaStriker
Member
- Status