Yes, this is another thread about a guy who makes LOOOOOONG articles about why he likes or dislikes this or that thing and how it's done, and yes, this is a guy who's character types in third person ALL CAPS (and don't worry, I've got a dealie right here that'll get rid of that all caps), but I seriously doubt that little niggles like those should keep you from dismissing the article in question out of hand, okay? Okay. So, moving on...
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens unleashed itself like a stabbed rat who was injected with speedball late last year and brought about a revival of a franchise whose certainty was under doubt after the last mainline film just over 10 years prior disappointed plenty. A critical and commercial hit in the highest order, it seemed like to many, it was the perfect hangover cure to a throbbing pain that only hurt more the more you thought about. Personally, I thought it was okay, a fun, pleasant (something we'll see talked about a bit more here) feature...but in the 7 months since the release of the movie, has the goodwill of it being a seemingly competent Star Wars feature really speak for the rest of the movie underneath? Did it really felt like a genuine moment in cinema on par with (most) of the Originals or did we just give it a pass because it just made us feel good in that mome...ahhh, I might as well drop the pretence here. This is an article as to why Film Crit Hulk didn't like Episode VII, and throughout these 7 chapters...
1. "THE CORE"
2. CINEMATIC LYING
3. THE ARC OF AN AUDIENCE
4. "QUICKLY, NOW..."
5. AFFECTATION: CHARACTER VS. PERSONALITY
6. "SURE YOU CAN DESTROY WORLDS, BUT CAN YOU BUILD THEM?"
7. THE NOSTALGIA BUTTON
He gives us why the movie makes him feel the way he is and what it means to him as a fan of the series.
Film Crit Hulk said:
J.J. ABRAMS MOVIES MAKE HULK FEEL INSANE.
HULK FEELS LIKE WE GO THROUGH THE SAME SEQUENCE OF EVENTS EVERY TIME. ONE OF HIS MOVIES COMES OUT. THE MOVIE IS DEEMED FUN, ENERGETIC, AND PRETTY ACCEPTABLE OVERALL. HISTORICALLY SPEAKING, THESE FILMS HAVE A CENTRAL MYSTERIOUS QUESTION AS THE DRIVING FORCE OF THE ACTION, OR IN THE VERY LEAST, AN AIR OF MYSTERIOUSNESS AS TO WHAT THE FILM WILL ACTUALLY CONTAIN. THIS IS THANKS TO THE TED-TALK-PATENTED "MYSTERY BOX" THEORY PUT FORTH BY ABRAMS HIMSELF. AND EVEN IF THE GENERAL CONSENSUS SEEMS TO BE THAT THESE FILMS ARRIVE AT UNSATISFYING CONCLUSIONS, THEY AT LEAST HAVE THE DIGNITY TO BE ENTERTAINING ALONG THE WAY.
BUT IT IS ALSO COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT THE SLOW REVEAL OF TIME TENDS TO MAKE THE EFFECT OF THESE MOVIES FADE AWAY. PEOPLE FIND THEY DO NOT ENDEAR THEMSELVES TO REPEAT VIEWINGS. PEOPLE FIND THAT THEY OFTEN FALL APART UPON CLOSE EXAMINATION. FOR THE TRUTH ABOUT THESE FILMS IS THAT OUR ENJOYMENT OF THEM IS FLEETING. HULK TALKED ABOUT THIS REALITY WITH BOTH SUPER 8 AND STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS. BUT IN OUR NEVERENDING QUEST FOR CINEMATIC UNDERSTANDING - THE REAL QUESTION IS WHY? WHAT IS IT ABOUT J.J.'S SPECIFIC MODUS OPERANDI THAT ENCOURAGES SUCH A RESPONSE? WHAT MAKES A MOVIE HAVE THIS KIND OF EFFECT TIME AND TIME AGAIN? IT ACTUALLY GOES RIGHT PAST A SIMPLE ERROR TO A CORE SIMPLICITY:
THE STORIES ARE LITERALLY DESIGNED TO PLEASE IN THE MOMENT... NOT TO LAST.
NOT EVEN WITHIN THE MOVIES THEMSELVES.
***
J.J. ABRAMS' MOVIES ARE LIARS.
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J.J. ABRAMS MOVIES ARE DESPERATE LOVE SEEKERS.
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J.J. ABRAMS MOVIES ARE SOCIOPATHS.
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IT'S SAFE TO SAY HULK WAS DEEPLY AFRAID THAT THESE ONGOING ISSUES WOULD INFECT THE FILM. BUT STILL... THIS WAS STAR WARS. AND THE NEWS ODDLY PROVED TO HULK THAT "THE CORE" WAS INTACT. THAT HOPE STILL EXISTED. AND IT WAS SOMETHING FURTHER HARDENED WHEN NONE OTHER THAN RIAN JOHNSON WAS REVEALED TO BE THE DIRECTOR OF EPISODE VIII. AND SO, HULK DEEPLY HOPED THAT J.J. GOING INTO THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE WOULD UNEARTH SOME KIND OF DEEP CHANGE. AFTER ALL, HE IS SO GOOD AT CREATING ENERGY AND CINEMATIC VERVE THAT MAYBE A SCRIPT WITHOUT THE MYSTERY BOX CLOAKING WOULD ALLOW HIM TO FINALLY ENGAGE IN A STRAIGHT FORWARD WAY! MAYBE A TRADITIONAL ADVENTURE WITH A SOLID SCRIPT FROM THE ASSISTANCE OF THE GREAT LAWRENCE KASDAN WOULD INSPIRE SOMETHING LOVELY! MAYBE THE FILM WOULD FINALLY ALLOW HIM TO COME BACK TO THE CENTRAL PILLARS OF STORY AND HE WOULD MAKE NOT JUST A GOOD MOVIE, BUT A GREAT ONE!
... THESE ARE THE THINGS HULK HOPED.
BUT IT TURNS OUT J.J. WITHOUT THE DRAW OF THE MYSTERY BOX IS EVEN LESS COMPELLING THAN HE IS WITH IT, AND THE HOLLOWNESS AT THE CORE OF HIS STORYTELLING IS INFINITELY MORE APPARENT.
[AUDIBLE SIGH]
THIS IS WHERE HULK SAYS HULK DIDN'T LIKE STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS VERY MUCH.
***
THERE'S NOTHING INHERENTLY WRONG WITH WANTING TO BE DELIGHTFUL, NOR WITH AN AUDIENCE WANTING TO CONSUME SOMETHING DELIGHTFUL... BUT BOY HOWDY DID THE FILMMAKERS GO FULL-TILT IN THAT AIM AND THAT AIM ALONE. TO THE POINT THAT IT SEEMS THEY LOOKED AT EVERY MOMENT AND WORKED BACKWARDS FROM THE INTENDED RESULT.
... AND THEY NEVER, EVER CARED IF IT WAS EARNED.
***
NOT ONLY IS REY CONFIDENT AND THEN JUST DELIVERS ON THAT CONFIDENCE WITH NO REVERSAL/EXPECTATION, BUT ON A STRUCTURAL LEVEL THE STORYTELLING DOESN'T ESCALATE OR PILE ON: THEY THROW A COMPLICATION AT YOU, HAVE THE HEROES GET OUT OF IT (SEEMINGLY JUST BECAUSE), THEN THROW ANOTHER COMPLICATION BEFORE YOU HAVE TO TIME TO THINK OF WHETHER THE LAST OVERCOMING WAS EVEN SATISFYING. WHICH IS NOT ONLY BORING IN AND OF ITSELF, BUT TAPS INTO A BIGGER PROBLEM...
LITERALLY EVERY DAMN SCENE FEELS LIKE THIS.
***
TO WIT, THERE'S A LITTLE TINY MOMENT THAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T THINK OF WHEN IT COMES TO THE LAST SEQUENCE OF THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS, BUT IT'S THAT LITTLE MOMENT OF RELUCTANCE WHERE AFTER LUKE CONFRONTS HAN ABOUT NOT JOINING THE BATTLE. HAN JUST ENDS UP BRUSHING LUKE OFF. HE THEN GETS LIP FROM CHEWY, AND YOU SEE HAN SAY "WHAT? I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING." AND EVEN THOUGH THAT MOMENT OF DOUBT REGISTERS WITH THE AUDIENCE AND GOSH OH GOLLY MAYBE "TIPS THE HAND," THAT HE FEELS BAD ABOUT IT - IT TURNS OUT THAT TIPPING IS ACTUALLY CRITICAL TO THE DRAMATIC FUNCTION. BECAUSE WE ARE ABOUT TO GO INTO A LONG, THRILLING SEQUENCE WHERE THE DRAMA WILL MAKE US COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT HAN SOLO ANYWAY. AND WHEN AT THE LAST SECOND, HE COMES RUSHING DOWN, SUN BLAZING BEHIND HIM, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE DEUS EX MACHINA, BECAUSE IT'S BEEN DRAMATICALLY JUSTIFIED. WE UNDERSTAND WHY HE CAME BACK AND BETTER YET, WE ARE THRILLED THAT HE DID.
IN THE MOMENT OF DRAMATIC ELATION, YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO EXCLAIM:
"OF COURSE!"
YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO YELL "OH, THAT WAS OUT OF NOWHERE, BUT OK!"
***
ULTIMATELY, WHO IS FINN? THE TRUTH IS HULK HAS NO IDEA. HULK CAN'T PIN HIS PSYCHE DOWN. IF WE WERE TO TAKE THAT FAMOUS TEST FROM RED LETTER MEDIA'S EPISODE 1 REVIEW AND "DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER" HULK WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SUM HIM UP COHERENTLY LIKE WE CAN DO WITH THE ORIGINAL CAST. WITH FINN, HULK JUST KNOWS HULK "LIKED" ALL THE THINGS HE DID, BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO COHERENT CHARACTERIZATION. IT'S JUST A IN-THE-MOMENT PLEASING ONE.
REY HAS A SIMILAR PROBLEM, IN THAT SHE'S NOT SO MUCH A CHARACTER AS SHE IS A LIST OF POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES. THE WHOLE DISCUSSION OF HER BEING A MARY SUE IS TANGENTIAL TO THE FACT SHE JUST DOESN'T HAVE A REAL PSYCHE BEING PLAYED. HER CHARACTER CAN TOTALLY BE AN AWESOME WHIZ KID WHOSE GREAT AT STUFF, BUT WHAT'S HER TRUE WANT? WHAT'S STOPPING HER FROM ADVENTURE? WHAT IS SHE FAILING AT? WHAT'S HER FLAW? WHAT DOES THAT FAILURE OR REALIZATION ALLOW HER TO DO AT THE END OF THE MOVIE THAT SHE COULD NEVER DO AT THE BEGINNING? ALL LEARNING COMES FROM FAILURE, AFTER ALL. BUT DON'T SAY SHE LEARNS HOW TO "USE THE FORCE" BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T REALLY FAIL IN THAT PURSUIT. SHE JUST DISCOVERS SHE CAN USE IT STEP-BY-STEP "JUST BECAUSE." TO COMPARE, THINK ABOUT THE WAY LUKE FAILS WITH THE BLASTER AND THE WAY THAT MIRRORS THE GREAT DRAMA WITH THE FINAL TRENCH RUN. BUT WITH J.J.? SHE FAILS AT BEING ABLE TO DO A MIND CONTROL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY JUST TRIES AGAIN AND SUCCEEDS. LIKE, UM, WHAT DID SHE LEARN IN BETWEEN THOSE TWO EFFORTS? WHAT WAS DRAMATICALLY DEMONSTRATED? DID SHE JUST TRY HARDER WITH HER BRAIN? DID SHE JUST GAIN ABILITY IMMEDIATELY? HOW IS HULK SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT ANY OF THIS? IT'S SO SYMBOLIC OF J.J.'S WORST HABITS...
JUST MOVE THEM ALONG BECAUSE IT'S WHERE THE AUDIENCE WANTS THEM TO BE.
***
SERIOUSLY. YOU CAST GWENDOLINE CHRISTIE AS THE VOICE AND THEN YOU DO... THAT??!?! SHE IS BARELY IN THIS MOVIE IN ANY KIND OF WAY AND THEY WANT HER HALF-ASSED OFF-SCREEN COMEUPPANCE TO MEAN SOMETHING?!?!?! JEEZEY PETES. THEY MUST HAVE BUILT THAT COOL ARMOR AND BEEN LIKE "GOOD JOB, EVERYONE WE DID IT! NO NEED TO DO ANYTHING MORE WITH THIS!"
AGAIN, THE ONLY NEW CHARACTER WHO EVEN MAKES SENSE AS PERSON IS KYLO REN. WE KEEP GETTING REVEALING SHADES OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE FILM (TOLD ODDLY, WITH POOR SEQUENCING), BUT THOSE SHADES AT LEAST ADD UP TO SOMETHING COHERENT. THAT SEQUENCING IS CRITICAL BECAUSE IT NOT ONLY TIES INTO THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE OF CHARACTERIZATION AND PLOT, IT ALL LEADS UP TO THE MOST DAMNING QUESTION HULK CAN ASK OF THIS MOVIE...
WHY IS HAN SOLO'S DEATH SO UNDERWHELMING IN THE FORCE AWAKENS
?
***
TO HULK, IT JUST MAKES YOU REALIZE A KEY DIFFERENCE: THE PREQUELS WERE TERRIBLY DIRECTED MOVIES, FLAT AND LIFELESS, CLUNKY BEYOND BELIEF... BUT THEY AT LEAST HAD SOME KIND OF WEIRD FUNCTIONAL FOUNDATION THAT MADE SENSE. MEANWHILE, THE FORCE AWAKENS IS "GOOD DIRECTION," BUT ON A STORY FUNCTION LEVEL, IT'S AS TONE DEAF TO HULK AS "NOW, THIS IS POD RACING!"
***
UNLIKE THE ORIGINAL MOVIE, WHERE YOU IMMEDIATELY GET THESE LITTLE GUYS ON THE RUN FROM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL EMPIRE (BRILLIANTLY SHOWN THROUGH SCALE OF THE TWO SHIPS AND ENSUING BATTLE), WE GET SOMETHING MUCH DIFFERENT HERE. BECAUSE EVERY FURTHER ARTICULATION OF PLOT FROM THE TITLE SCROLL ONWARD JUST MAKES HULK MORE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING, NOT LESS. EVERYTHING IN TERMS OF INFORMATION IS JUST SO GUARDED, HALF-HEARTED, OR TEASED OUT IN CRYPTIC ALLUSION. THE MOVIE IS LITERALLY AFRAID TO BE CLEAR FOR FEAR THAT DOING SO WOULD BE... BORING? AND EVEN THE INFORMATION WHICH IS PRESENTED DOESN'T MAKE A LICK OF DAMN SENSE. THESE ARE SIMPLE QUESTIONS: WHO IS IN POWER? WHY DOES THE FIRST ORDER SEEM JUST LIKE THE EMPIRE AGAIN AND THE RESISTANCE JUST LIKE THE REBELS? WHAT MAKES THEM DIFFERENT FROM THE LAST ITERATIONS? WHAT ARE THEY AFTER BESIDES FIGHTING EACH OTHER? WHAT DOES THE REPUBLIC THINK OF THIS? WHY DOES IT TAKE 2/3 OF THE MOVIE TO EVEN GET A SENSE OF THE RESISTANCE? HOW DOES THE WORLD FEEL ABOUT THE WAR? WHAT'S WITH THIS BIG LASER PLANET AND WHAT EXACTLY DOES THE WORLD THINK OF IT? (ONE FRIEND IMMEDIATELY TEXTED: "DARTH PLANET WAS DUMB AS FUCK.")
NOW, WHEN HULK VOICED CONCERN SOME PEOPLE GOT VERY UPSET AND SAID HULK WASN'T GIVING ENOUGH CREDIT AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE QUESTIONS COULD BE ANSWERED! BUT NOT BY REFERENCING THE MOVIE. INSTEAD HULK WAS INSTEAD DIRECTED TO... AN ARTICLE THAT EXPLAINS THE ANSWER. LET HULK SAY THAT AGAIN: NOT A SEQUENCE IN THE MOVIE. BUT AN ARTICLE THAT EXPLAINS IT (AND NOT WELL EITHER BECAUSE WHAT IS EXPLAINED ON THE PAGE STILL DOESN'T ACCOUNT FOR WHAT WE SEE ONSCREEN)... SO HERE'S HULK'S QUESTION:
IS THIS HOW WE ARE GOING TO WATCH MOVIES NOW?
***
THE ENTIRE FILM IS A REFERENCE.
NOT ONLY IS THAT PROBLEMATIC, THAT CAN'T BE THE WAY TO MAKE ANYTHING GOOD AND SELF-SUSTAINING. AND WHAT'S WORSE, SO MANY OF THE ISSUES AND PLOT POINTS INTRODUCED ARE HAND-WAVED AWAY WITH AN "OH, WE'LL GET TO THAT IN THE NEXT MOVIE." HULK WILL HAPPILY ARGUE THAT THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TV SHOW EPISODIC MODEL MARVEL USES. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T WORK WITHOUT WHAT COMES BEFORE, NOR WORKS WITHOUT WHAT COMES LATER. AND EVERY ARGUMENT AS TO THAT FUNCTION MAKES HULK WANTS TO SCREAM, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS MOVIE? WHAT ABOUT ITS NEEDS? WHAT ABOUT MAKING THIS FILM WORK BETTER? WHAT ABOUT STORY SATISFACTION WITHIN THE NARRATIVE?!?" BECAUSE EVERYTHING GOOD OUTSIDE OF THESE QUESTIONS IS NOTHING MORE THAN A TRICK. A WAY NOT TO DO THE ACTUAL WORK. A WAY TO RUSH TO AN EFFECT. HULK ALWAYS ARGUES: YOU SHOULD ONLY HAVE THE MOVIE IN FRONT OF YOU. NOTHING MORE. NOTHING LESS.
***
THERE IS A CENTRAL HYPOCRISY TO NOSTALGIA ENTERTAINMENT IN THAT IT NEVER WORKS IN THE WAY IN THE WAY PEOPLE HOPE. HULK TALKED ABOUT IT A GREAT DEAL IN HULK'S COLUMN ON WHY COMEDY SEQUELS ARE SO HARD. IT'S BECAUSE THE FEELING WE GET WHEN WE PRESS THE NOSTALGIA BUTTON IS NOT ONE OF DRAMATIC CATHARSIS. IT'S A WARM SUNBEAM. A DREAMY PLACATION. BUT THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IS THAT NOSTALGIA ITSELF IS INHERENTLY FLEETING. YOU CAN GET CAUGHT UP IN THE ADORATION OF MEMORY, BUT THERE IS ALWAYS THAT INEVITABLE SOBERING MOMENT YOU REALIZE YOU ARE IN THE PRESENT. THAT THOSE GLORY DAYS HAVE GONE BY AND YOU ONLY LEFT WITH WHAT IS AHEAD OF YOU (AS A CERTAIN SPRINGSTEEN SONG WILL BACK UP). TONY SOPRANO SAID IT HIMSELF, THAT THERE'S NO SADDER GAME THAN THAT OF "REMEMBER WHEN..." IT ALL SPEAKS TO A TRUTH THAT WE SO READILY ACCEPT IN STORYTELLING, BUT SO RARELY ACCEPT FOR OURSELVES AS AN AUDIENCE: YOU CAN NEVER REALLY GO BACK.
***
ON PAPER, THE FORCE AWAKENS IS A MOVIE THAT KNOWS IT HAS TO BE THE FIRST ENTRY OF A NEW TRILOGY. AND YOU HAVE THE NEW CHARACTERS ALL READY TO DO THAT. BUT THIS GOAL WAS NOT TIED INTO THE MOVIE'S IDENTITY. IT CARED FAR, FAR TOO MUCH ABOUT PRESSING THE NOSTALGIA BUTTON, WHEN THE GOAL SHOULD'VE HAVE BEEN TO GET PEOPLE TO FORGET THEY WERE WATCHING A STAR WARS MOVIE ALL TOGETHER. IT'S NO ACCIDENT THAT THE FILM'S MOST SUCCESSFUL MOMENTS ARE WHEN THEY FIND THE WAYS TO TRULY DO THAT, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE FEELS STEEPED IN AN OLD REVERENCE. YES, IT LOVES STAR WARS. BUT IN 1977 THERE WAS NO STAR WARS THAT PEOPLE WERE DRAWING ON. THEY WERE NOT FORCED TO LOOK BACKWARD, NOR TO START PLAYING CONNECT THE DOTS, NOR TO SIMPLY WAIT FOR CHARACTERS TO SHOW UP. AND THUS THIS FILM MISSES EVERY CHANCE TO TELL A REAL STORY BECAUSE IT IS INDEBTED TO PRESSING THE NOSTALGIA BUTTON AS DIRECTLY, QUICKLY, AND "EFFECTIVELY" AS POSSIBLE... AND IT MAY MAKE PEOPLE SMILE...
BUT IT WILL NEVER FEED THEM IN THE CORE.
THIS SPECIFIC NOSTALGIA-BASED FAILURE OF THE FILM, COMES TOGETHER WITH THE WHOLE SET OF FAILURES PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED: THE LYING. THE PACING. THE AFFECTATION. THE POOR WORLD BUILDING. TO MAKE ONE OF THE MOST STRANGE CINEMA-GOING EXPERIENCES THAT HULK CAN THINK OF. BECAUSE AGAIN, PRESSING THE NOSTALGIA BUTTON WORKS IN A WAY. JUST AS CINEMATIC LYING WORKS IN A WAY. JUST AS MOVING AT A BRISK PACE WORKS IN A WAY. AND JUST AS BEING CHARMING DEFINITELY WORKS IN A WAY, TO THE POINT THAT THE FILM CAN SO EFFECTIVELY JUST WASH RIGHT OVER YOU. TO THE POINT THAT J.J. SEEMS TO BE SLOWLY MASTERING THIS KIND OF THING. YOU CAN TAKE IT ALL IN WITH A CONTENTED SMILE, BUT ONLY IF YOU JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT ANY OF IT FOR A DAMN SECOND. PERHAPS PUT BEST BY A FRIEND OF HULK'S:
"I LIKE THE FORCE AWAKENS, BUT ONLY WHEN IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME."
ON PAPER, THE FORCE AWAKENS IS A MOVIE THAT KNOWS IT HAS TO BE THE FIRST ENTRY OF A NEW TRILOGY. AND YOU HAVE THE NEW CHARACTERS ALL READY TO DO THAT. BUT THIS GOAL WAS NOT TIED INTO THE MOVIE'S IDENTITY. IT CARED FAR, FAR TOO MUCH ABOUT PRESSING THE NOSTALGIA BUTTON, WHEN THE GOAL SHOULD'VE HAVE BEEN TO GET PEOPLE TO FORGET THEY WERE WATCHING A STAR WARS MOVIE ALL TOGETHER. IT'S NO ACCIDENT THAT THE FILM'S MOST SUCCESSFUL MOMENTS ARE WHEN THEY FIND THE WAYS TO TRULY DO THAT, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE FEELS STEEPED IN AN OLD REVERENCE. YES, IT LOVES STAR WARS.
THERE'S A LOT OF LAYERS TO IT SURPRISINGLY, BUT PLEASE KNOW IT WAS COUNTER-INTUITIVE TO EVEN HULK. HULK STARTED DOING THE CAPS AND WAS COMPLETELY SURPRISED BY THE AFFECTATION. LET'S PUT IT LIKE THIS: WHEN SOMEONE IS WILLING TO OVERLOOK THE GOOFY NATURE OF ALL-CAPS THIRD PERSON, THEN THEY TEND TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO IS MORE WILLING TO ENGAGE IN ACTUAL DIALOGUE AND "GET OUTSIDE THEMSELVES" SO TO SPEAK. AGAIN, HULK WAS MORE SURPRISED BY THIS THAN ANYONE. BUT IT'S RESULTED IN AMAZING DIALOGUES AND A GROUP OF WONDERFUL READERS WHO ARE INCREDIBLY RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS. THE ENTIRE EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN NOTHING SHORT OF LOVELY.
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
It doesn't have to be self sustaining or a liar or whatever else he typed. It was good, characters were likable and it set- up a lot of interesting things. Also, Hulk doesn't really yell all the time.
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
I love ya Hulk, but at some point I have to just give up on the long-winded articles that continually repeat themselves. There's only so many times you can use variations of "X is a lying liar of a film-maker that directs pretty films with no soul or heart or whatever" before it becomes empty criticism.
One of the reasons why I enjoy the James Bond retrospective is that it's comparatively lean and dense (which is funny because it's easily his longest piece, especially when you combine all of them), and it also actually details a unique perspective on each film while building to a larger point about James Bond.
Hmmm. I can't say I disagree with his assessment. But I still enjoyed TFA if only because I felt the new characters had charisma enough that they overshadowed the honestly very shallow plot of the movie.
If they had gone with anyone else than Ridley, Boyega, and Driver, the movie would have been far worse and easily forgettable.
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
NOT ONLY IS REY CONFIDENT AND THEN JUST DELIVERS ON THAT CONFIDENCE WITH NO REVERSAL/EXPECTATION, BUT ON A STRUCTURAL LEVEL THE STORYTELLING DOESN'T ESCALATE OR PILE ON: THEY THROW A COMPLICATION AT YOU, HAVE THE HEROES GET OUT OF IT (SEEMINGLY JUST BECAUSE), THEN THROW ANOTHER COMPLICATION BEFORE YOU HAVE TO TIME TO THINK OF WHETHER THE LAST OVERCOMING WAS EVEN SATISFYING. WHICH IS NOT ONLY BORING IN AND OF ITSELF, BUT TAPS INTO A BIGGER PROBLEM...
I have to respect and honor his opinion from a film theory and critic point of view. But this sounds like someone who is trying too hard to be a critic (in neither a negative or positive way---an actual critic). My question is: why is he concerned with having time to THINK if the last thing that happened was satisfying? Why not FEEL? If that makes any sense, or maybe I'm rambling.
It's also a long ass article that most people won't put in the effort to read the whole thing and just take aim at the quotes. It's incredibly easy to translate the article using either the convert case linked in the OP or the DeHulkifier. That people find it easier to complain than actually spend a couple of seconds making it more palatable for them to read speaks volumes.
First up: here's the DeHulkifier if you can't deal with all caps.
From Film Crit Hulk himself:
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
It's also a long ass article that most people won't put in the effort to read the whole thing and just take aim at the quotes. It's incredibly easy to translate the article using either the convert case linked in the OP or the DeHulkifier. That people find it easier to complain than actually spend a couple of seconds making it more palatable for them to read speaks volumes.
I have to respect and honor his opinion from a film theory and critic point of view. But this sounds like someone who is trying too hard to be a critic (in neither a negative or positive way---an actual critic). My question is: why is he concerned with having time to THINK if the last thing that happened was satisfying? Why not FEEL? If that makes any sense, or maybe I'm rambling.
In the moment I can't imagine he's doing anything other that feeling, it's just that he can then later switch into analytical mode and deconstruct why he felt what he felt.
I usually read long articles on my iPad, where neither DeHulkifier of convertcase are much of a solution (not easy to copy the whole thing on a tablet).
Shame because I enjoyed his essay on Kingsman, but I can't be assed to fix his articles whenever I want to read them, especially when the fixes don't work on all devices.
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
It's also a long ass article that most people won't put in the effort to read the whole thing and just take aim at the quotes. It's incredibly easy to translate the article using either the convert case linked in the OP or the DeHulkifier. That people find it easier to complain than actually spend a couple of seconds making it more palatable for them to read speaks volumes.
That's fair enough, but from what I'm seeing the complaints he's making have already been noted plenty of times since the film came out. I just don't think there's really anything new or interesting here.
I gotta say while I didn't dislike the movie at all, when it's all said and done it's the most forgettable movie of the saga, I say this as someone who was literally put to sleep by how bored I was watching the Phantom Menace.
I think this most gets to the heart of the whole "Mary Sue" conversation, which is that Rey's character (and really almost every character in this film, but she is presented as the primary protagonist) is just thin
That's fair enough, but from what I'm seeing the complaints he's making have already been noted plenty of times since the film came out. I just don't think there's really anything new or interesting here.
Thank God I actually read some of this; now I know someone of note doesn't like Star Wars VII. We actually agree
In the Box Office thread I blamed Tomorrowland for killing TRON. Tomorrowland had one scene where Disney was like, "HUR HUR we own Star Wars now, we can name drop it all we want!". Now I also hate Star Wars for killing TRON.
Yup. He says that 'only those who want to engage in discussion will look past the caps' but it's like nah bruh write like a normal fucking person. It's akin to an angry person shouting about what they think about something on the street, they're not worth engaging when they're trying to shout their opinions about a movie at you. You just walk by and snicker.
Edit-also glad to hear that it confirms that Rey is indeed the mariest of sues
I think this most gets to the heart of the whole "Mary Sue" conversation, which is that Rey's character (and really almost every character in this film, but she is presented as the primary protagonist) is just thin
I don't really see how the protagonists in the other movies are less thin by comparison, especially just from the one film. We'll obviously learn more about them as the movies come out, just as we did the other sets of characters. I'm already a lot more interested in what's up with Rey tbh.
I hear this a lot when it comes to analytical criticism, but what are you even talking about? If you don't want to read an analysis, don't read it, no need to come here and try to shit on it because you can't be asked to read the article.
Thank God I actually read some of this; now I know someone of note doesn't like Star Wars VII. We actually agree
In the Box Office thread I blamed Tomorrowland for killing TRON. Tomorrowland had one scene where Disney was like, "HUR HUR we own Star Wars now, we can name drop it all we want!". Now I also hate Star Wars for killing TRON.
Thank God I actually read some of this; now I know someone of note doesn't like Star Wars VII. We actually agree
In the Box Office thread I blamed Tomorrowland for killing TRON. Tomorrowland had one scene where Disney was like, "HUR HUR we own Star Wars now, we can name drop it all we want!". Now I also hate Star Wars for killing TRON.
ULTIMATELY, WHO IS FINN? THE TRUTH IS HULK HAS NO IDEA. HULK CAN'T PIN HIS PSYCHE DOWN. IF WE WERE TO TAKE THAT FAMOUS TEST FROM RED LETTER MEDIA'S EPISODE 1 REVIEW AND "DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER" HULK WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SUM HIM UP COHERENTLY LIKE WE CAN DO WITH THE ORIGINAL CAST. WITH FINN, HULK JUST KNOWS HULK "LIKED" ALL THE THINGS HE DID, BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO COHERENT CHARACTERIZATION. IT'S JUST A IN-THE-MOMENT PLEASING ONE..
I don't know.... I felt like the saving grace of The Force Awaken is that it had strong, interesting characters to cover the weak plot. Their relationships and interactions are what kept the whole thing really afloat for me.
In the moment I can't imagine he's doing anything other that feeling, it's just that he can then later switch into analytical mode and deconstruct why he felt what he felt.
I don't really see how the protagonists in the other movies are less thin by comparison, especially just from the one film. We'll obviously learn more about them as the movies come out, just as we did the other sets of characters. I'm already a lot more interested in what's up with Rey tbh.
I could be wrong, but I feel like his criticism is confusing lack of backstory/history with thin characters. We know a lot more about the characters in A New Hope compared to TFA.
I don't really see how the protagonists in the other movies are less thin by comparison, especially just from the one film. We'll obviously learn more about them as the movies come out, just as we did the other sets of characters. I'm already a lot more interested in what's up with Rey tbh.
Here's the example I always use, and like Hulk talks about, a lot of it comes down to small moments that are missing. In the original film, Luke has that famous line "I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters."
Its one line, but it instantly provides all the context we need for "Luke is a decent shot"
In contrast, TFA feels lacking in anything that contextualizes character skill and background that way. Rey's background is so much of a mystery. All they needed was a similar "I've helped Gardjo-enwik run cross planet deliveries, but nothing like this!" to give us some context for how Rey has any idea how to pilot a spaceship and it would do so much
I don't know.... I felt like the saving grace of The Force Awaken is that it had strong, interesting characters to cover the weak plot. Their relationships and interactions are what kept the whole thing really afloat for me.
I feel like this could be said about every SW plot, especially ANH. It's more of a character story than anything, the relationships and conflict is what mostly drives these stories. There were a lot of new interesting things going on in the story; the plot has very basic beats but in typical Star Wars fashion, the plot beats only serve the character conflicts. Star Wars is extremely straightforward and accessible. The plots are very simplistic but there's more to the actual characters. Rey has plenty of mystery to her and Kylo is the most interesting villain next to Vader we've seen in the series.
In contrast, TFA feels lacking in anything that contextualizes character skill and background that way. Rey's background is so much of a mystery. All they needed was a similar "I've helped Gardjo-enwik run cross planet deliveries, but nothing like this!" to give us some context for how Rey has any idea how to pilot a spaceship and it would do so much
Personally didn't feel that way, there's more mystery to her but I like that. I felt like I got to know her pretty well during her intro/scenes on Jakku. Her being able to pilot the Falcon is mostly space magic stuff (the Force) lol
Finn doesn't totally fail the RLM test, but man...I'm trying to think now, and I'm not sure how to describe him other than "guy who wants to do the right thing"
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
Honestly I've found the caps tends to weed out the people who really aren't all that interested in a proper discussion of the article (which I've yet to read and will do now), and just want to take shots. Of course they just take shots at the caps lock instead.
On one hand, it differentiates him from everyone else. The image of The Hulk barking out flowery insights and criticisms is amusing and it adds another layer to his writing. He has interesting things to say in a way that also entertains. That's kind of genius.
But.
It's hard to not to see through it, sometimes. This is a way for a very pretentious writer to make his writing seem less pretentious. Imagine any of his Kanye West pieces without this gimmick. Horrible, right?
Oh the whole, I like Film Crit Hulk. I wouldn't evoke his viewpoint in an argument, but I'm interested in what he thinks about the films I like.
Personally didn't feel that way, there's more mystery to her but I like that. I felt like I got to know her pretty well during her intro/scenes on Jakku. Her being able to pilot the Falcon is mostly space magic stuff (the Force) lol
I don't feel like it did. She's very much a mystery. She's deliberately a mystery, her character revelation over the course of the film more or less amounts to "is a Star Wars fan". I never get a sense for what she wants besides "she wants to find Luke Skywalker because he's Luke Skywalker"
I don't feel like it did. She's very much a mystery. She's deliberately a mystery, her character revelation over the course of the film more or less amounts to "is a Star Wars fan". I never get a sense for what she wants besides "she wants to find Luke Skywalker because he's Luke Skywalker"
Finn doesn't totally fail the RLM test, but man...I'm trying to think now, and I'm not sure how to describe him other than "guy who wants to do the right thing"
Finn's insecure and socially awkward. He's very childish in his worldview and mannerisms, often not thinking of the ultimate results of his actions or going to emotional extremes. He puts a lot of value on relationships with people who do connect with him, to the point that said relationships eventually overcome his cowardice.
I'm surprised people have trouble describing Finn's character of all people. He's got the most well-defined arc in Force Awakens and is hardly subtle. Most of the interaction with Han Solo is contrasting Han's world-wise self-confidence with Finn the greenhorn.
Finn doesn't totally fail the RLM test, but man...I'm trying to think now, and I'm not sure how to describe him other than "guy who wants to do the right thing"
I had him pegged down as an everyman type character. Something that the audience could relate more to, which is something I don't think has really been seen in the movies.
Yeah I just...don't like that. It feels like pushing the Force to even more of a bad place. The last time they did "the Force is a guiding force of destiny" it went badly and I dislike it conceptually. Why does she do anything? Because the Force told her to
Finn's insecure and socially awkward. He's very childish in his worldview and mannerisms, often not thinking of the ultimate results of his actions or going to emotional extremes. He puts a lot of value on relationships with people who do connect with him, to the point that said relationships eventually overcome his cowardice.
Yeah I just...don't like that. It feels like pushing the Force to even more of a bad place. The last time they did "the Force is a guiding force of destiny" it went badly and I dislike it conceptually
It's a bit more, thinking about it... I think what propels her toward finding Luke is the lightsaber incident. It draws her to it, and causes her to have a whirlwind of visions. That interests her, and furthermore Maz tells her that whoever she's waiting for on Jakku isn't coming back. At this point, finding Luke is now a bigger thing for her.
It made her ask questions, like why me, what does this lightsaber have anything to do with me, what did those visions mean, etc. And Luke is probably someone who can answer those questions.
It's a bit more, thinking about it... I think what propels her toward finding Luke is the lightsaber incident. It draws her to it, and causes her to have a whirlwind of visions. That interests her, and furthermore Maz tells her that whoever she's waiting for on Jakku isn't coming back. At this point, finding Luke is now a bigger thing for her.
It made her ask questions, like why me, what does this lightsaber have anything to do with me, what did those visions mean, etc. And Luke is probably someone who can answer those questions.
For me, its ultimately tied to the pacing article this also highlights: because everything is so breakneck it ends up feeling like "because Force" way too often, because the real answer is "we needed to get her to the next scene". Why do her force powers improve? Is it because she learns anything? No, its because her force powers need to work for the plot to happen
And to be clear, I don't mean to pick on Rey here, Finn, Han and Leia all have very similar problems, but the movie makes Rey the center of everything
No. They can do a new one whenever they want. They only want to make movies that make half a billion dollars or more though. The movies that do end up getting made are still gonna be hollow anyways.
What did they really expect out of the franchise based on the first TRON? Can't they like, write a good story first, then make the movie with reasonable expecations, and not like, "WE'RE MAKING THE NEXT PIRATES/MATRIX/STAR WARS".
Speaking of Rey, I found Patricia Whitmore in Independence Day 2 to be closer to the character she should've been. ID2 isn't great, but I liked Patty.
