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Former friend won't leave me alone

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faridmon said:
WTF? I have like, 80 frinds in my friendlist. a 1000? Is that normal over there in America?
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Depends on whether or not your definition of "Friend" is summarized as 'Someone I met for a few minutes once."
 
This is one more reason why I have never gotten into Facebook: It all feels too damn fake.

Oh well, you're on there and apparently active, so... Add her back to shut her up. So you have 301 friends instead of 300. You probably don't give an adequate shit about all 300 of those people either, so why not add her and just be done with the shenanigans? Once this nonsense begins to invade your actual life - ie. through the phone, potentially impacting important moments with people you actually give a damn about - just do whatever is necessary to mitigate the invasion.

Add her back. Get it over with. No sense fussing over something this mindless.
 
I read the whole thing hoping for an eventual stalking fiasco. I did not find one, please rectify.
 
Red Nightmare said:
This us the kind of BS you kids worry about these days? Geezus. I'm glad I grew up without this "social networking" crap.
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Facebook is just a communications tool that facilitates bringing stuff like this to light. Obviously, the fact that his removal of her as a friend on Facebook bothered her so much to keep pestering him to add her back, and the fact that her persistence prompted this very thread on his part indicates that there's something more complicated to this relationship than just "silly Facebook drama."
 
facebook_movie_poster.jpg
 
BamYouHaveAids said:
Give me back my time YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
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So true :lol

Goddamn dojokun, what a bs story, just admit that you like(d) her and you're pissed that she has lead you on or something. This has nothing to do with her not putting enough 'effort'. Either you actually dislike her, or you like her and it's not going your way. Don't try to pretend like you don't care, you wouldn't have gotten your panties up in a bunch if that were true.
 
Steve Youngblood said:
Facebook is just a communications tool that facilitates bringing stuff like this to light. Obviously, the fact that his removal of her as a friend on Facebook bothered her so much to keep pestering him to add her back, and the fact that her persistence prompted this very thread on his part indicates that there's something more complicated to this relationship than just "silly Facebook drama."
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I've read enough studies on the emotional impact of social networking between people to know that there's some real emotional issues involved, and that it's not utterly ridiculous. I do, however, feel that it creates a dimension of artificial connection between people that would otherwise have gone their separate ways, naturally I might add. I don't consider this lingering to be a worthwhile thing to cultivate, which is why I have little interest in Facebook, along with a host of other factors.

I mean, as a person interested in business, I have to know something about it - but I don't plan to engage with it on a personal level.
 
Vinci said:
I've read enough studies on the emotional impact of social networking between people to know that there's some real emotional issues involved, and that it's not utterly ridiculous. I do, however, feel that it creates a dimension of artificial connection between people that would otherwise have gone their separate ways, naturally I might add. I don't consider this lingering to be a worthwhile thing to cultivate, which is why I have little interest in Facebook, along with a host of other factors.
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I don't disagree with that. Anytime I get some event invitation that was clearly just a mass invitation to everyone in their friends list, a certain degree of artificiality to all of this becomes clear. But I'm just kind of getting at is clarifying that, though it's possible it may not have even occurred without social networking, Facebook in a case like this one seems to merely be an instrument to bring about a further examination of the relationship between these two people. Why is she so disturbed by him removing her? Why is he putting so much thought into what to do next? I don't care to hypothesize about what is really going on here, but it seems to me to be more than silly Facebook nonsense.
 
I don't understand why you didn't just text or message her back your reason for cutting her out. Or just add her back. Who cares.
 
What the fuck am I reading, for God's sake. First of all, it's tail that you're clearly not interested in, why even put so much thought and effort into it is beyond me. Second of all, this is Facebook you're talking about. Facebook. Are you serious?
 
Steve Youngblood said:
Eh, it makes perfect sense to do so. The only time it bothers me is when people feel compelled to advertise that they're did so via status updates ("Just purged my friends list, so be happy that you made the cut!").
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What the hell? Do people actually do this?
 
Steve Youngblood said:
I don't disagree with that. Anytime I get some event invitation that was clearly just a mass invitation to everyone in their friends list, a certain degree of artificiality to all of this becomes clear. But I'm just kind of getting at is clarifying that, though it's possible it may not have even occurred without social networking, Facebook in a case like this one seems to merely be an instrument to bring about a further examination of the relationship between these two people. Why is she so disturbed by him removing her? Why is he putting so much thought into what to do next? I don't care to hypothesize about what is really going on here, but it seems to me to be more than silly Facebook nonsense.
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It's because he actively chose to remove her from his life. Though this had occurred passively over the years in the real world as each went his and her separate ways, it's not the same as being rejected until it was a direct action that he initiated.
 
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And I mean you, OP, you're that woman.

"A girl didn't pick me and now I don't have the balls to tell her to leave me alone" doesn't count as a real problem.
 
Just delete your Facebook account altogether, you'll feel liberated (granted I have never had close to 100 contacts, much less a thousand(!!!), so you probably enjoy it a great deal...).
 
Really disappointed this wasn't a stalker story -- would've been a problem worth reading about.

Let her know she was dropped because you haven't spoken in 3 years, and your FB is for your 300 closest friends only.
 
I am probably late on this, but I say you should think about her feelings. It obviously really hurt her feelings when you deleted her. Are you so important that you can't toss somebody your bread crumbs? Have you ever been rejected? Did it not hurt terribly?
 
So this woman who've you worked with, lived with, and who shares multiple similar interests, somehow doesn't make the cut for top 300 PEOPLE. WTF?! I couldn't come up with 300 people if I counted every person I remember from real life or online, and was allowed to count each person 5 times.
 
weekend_warrior said:
I couldn't come up with 300 people if I counted every person I remember from real life or online, and was allowed to count each person 5 times.
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Haha! Pretty much. :-)

How can people have some many friends and people they'd want to share intimate details about themselves with? It boggles my mind, but yeah, I'm 33 and admittedly out of the loop.
 
Wow, common dude use some sense. Add the bitch lol. If you don't want her to see your updates then block her from seeing your updates. That's the gentleman's way.
 
You guys are probably all right. Yeah I'm a dick. LosDaddies, I am unbanned. (I was last banned for saying something dirty I think. Ban message was "You're a sick fuck, dude."). I'll just add her and keep up this charade that Facebooking got me into. Maybe you guys suggesting that I deactivate my account are right.
 
dojokun said:
You guys are probably all right. Yeah I'm a dick. LosDaddies, I am unbanned. (I was last banned for saying something dirty I think. Ban message was "You're a sick fuck, dude."). I'll just add her and keep up this charade that Facebooking got me into. Maybe you guys suggesting that I deactivate my account are right.
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Completely depends on whether there are people that you do actively interact with via Facebook. Having one person out of 301 (still mind-boggling, honestly) isn't so bad from a pity standpoint.
 
dojokun said:
Three years ago I wouldn't think of deleting her, but after these past three years I just didn't/don't think we are friends.
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You can't be friends with someone you don't hang out with?

Man up and tell her you don't want to be her friend if that's the way you feel about it.

Some people are just bad about keeping up with everybody... and unless they've heard something from you indicating that you consider the friendship over, they're going to assume that everything is cool.
 
dojokun said:
I probably wasn't clear. I don't have 300 BFFs or something like that. I have roughly 300 people (on facebook) that put in a reasonable amount of effort to see me or hang out, given how long I've known them, how far they live from me, etc. And I do the same for them. People I just met yesterday can be my facebook friend if we're genuinely interested in hanging out, talking to each other, etc. All factors are taken into account. Not that I sit down and spend all day thinking about it, but you know from your gut who is a friend or who is currently on track to being a friend, and who's just someone that you're reduced to politely acknowledging their existence.

She has been "friends" with me for three years and lives really close, yet we just dont see each other. Our friendship isnt going anywhere.
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right.....
 
For fucks sake, just add her. Who cares? That's what Facebook is, right? A way to keep some sort of nominal contact with people we don't have time for anymore.
 
Whoompthereitis said:
For fucks sake, just add her. Who cares? That's what Facebook is, right? A way to keep some sort of nominal contact with people we don't have time for anymore.
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It's a great tool for organizing events and stuff though. Also makes a good answering machine if you have pals that check it more often than their phones.
 
Whoompthereitis said:
For fucks sake, just add her. Who cares? That's what Facebook is, right? A way to keep some sort of nominal contact with people we don't have time for anymore.
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I don't think he should add her just so she can feel better about herself. OP just needs to tell her that he doesn't care to be friends with her and she needs to get the fuck over it.
 
Pinko Marx said:
I don't think he should add her just so she can feel better about herself. OP just needs to tell her that he doesn't care to be friends with her and she needs to get the fuck over it.
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Still pretty pathetic that this all came to a head over Facebook. God this generation is awful.
 
Sounds to me like she's making the effort to let you know you guys are friends. Seriously though, this is just facebook...
 
I hate this facebook drama, fuck facebook and having 300 friends really and spending several days over this bullshit drama, you better be under 20 OP :P
 
i say dont add her.. she sounds like a creep.

i hate that compulsion to add people out of some sort of curtesy.. if you're not friends fuck off.. you're not impressing anybody with 8000 friends.
 
I think certain people maintain friendships in their minds, without actually maintaining them. Does that make sense? Because they're thinking about you, they think that you're still actively friends. They're oblivious to the passage of time and the lack of actual, real, consistent contact.

Also, 1000 friends on Facebook? Wow. I cut mine from 80 to 50 and that felt like a major culling.
 
Devolution said:
Still pretty pathetic that this all came to a head over Facebook. God this generation is awful.
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I definitely agree. I refuse to believe OP is older than 16, otherwise he'd have the maturity and knowhow to handle this situation himself.
ITS FACEBOOK DRAMA.
 
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