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G.I. Joe the Movie did Cobra Commander so dirty.

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Too bad they screwed up The Baroness.

Rise of Cobra got everyone wrong. The only thing it did good, was actually feeling like an 80's cartoon come to life. Seriously you got Baroness and a Ninja using drill machines to infiltrate GI Joe's secret underground base, to steal nanotech warheads to reach a climax in a ninja duel with the enemy escaping on jet pack. Yea that's a cartoon come to life. But they got the whole identity of GI Joe all screwed up.

The 2nd movie took alot from the more serious comic books, but it was also a very bland and smaller budget production. 2nd movie got better at sticking to the comic characterizations and such though.
 
Rise of Cobra got everyone wrong. The only thing it did good, was actually feeling like an 80's cartoon come to life. Seriously you got Baroness and a Ninja using drill machines to infiltrate GI Joe's secret underground base, to steal nanotech warheads to reach a climax in a ninja duel with the enemy escaping on jet pack. Yea that's a cartoon come to life. But they got the whole identity of GI Joe all screwed up.

The 2nd movie took alot from the more serious comic books, but it was also a very bland and smaller budget production. 2nd movie got better at sticking to the comic characterizations and such though.

2nd movie covered too much subject matter. Should have focused on 1 or two plotlines and ran with them. Seemed the 2nd one wanted to fix all the mistakes of the first.
 
Cobra Commander deserved everything he got. Dude is a complete flop who would have been dead after the first season if he didn't have Destro, Baroness, Storm Shadow, the twins, and Zartan.

Dude's a joke. I always thought he must have gotten that gig because his dad was a big shot or something.
 
Rise of Cobra was bad, but god damn was it entertaining as everyone was having fun.

Contrast to Retaliation...

What the fuck am I watching?!
 
Tomax and Xamot seemed to be CEOs and shit



Zartan a master of stealth and subterfuge, employs a ban of psychopaths with chainsaws that spit fire.

Oh right. Extensive enterprises. I always thought that was simply another COBRA shell company, and those two were just running it for CC.
 
No it's not. It's crap because it's trying to be "edgy" and "adult". It was if it was ashamed to be a show for kids.
No it's actually pretty damned good and much closer to the GI Joe comics which were better written and a bit Darker than the Cartoon.

Rise of Cobra got everyone wrong. The only thing it did good, was actually feeling like an 80's cartoon come to life. Seriously you got Baroness and a Ninja using drill machines to infiltrate GI Joe's secret underground base, to steal nanotech warheads to reach a climax in a ninja duel with the enemy escaping on jet pack. Yea that's a cartoon come to life. But they got the whole identity of GI Joe all screwed up.

The 2nd movie took alot from the more serious comic books, but it was also a very bland and smaller budget production. 2nd movie got better at sticking to the comic characterizations and such though.

Yeah it's like the actor thst played her was just fine but they have har as being "brainwashed" and Duke's ex gf. The fuck. Icing on the cake was her not even having the accent, ugh.
 
I WAS ONCE A MAN

That movie is fucking terrible but the Cobra Commander/Roadblock hour is some of the finest unintentional comedy I've ever seen.

"ONCE A MAN!"
"Whatchoo talkin about crazy old snake!"
 
No it's actually pretty damned good and much closer to the GI Joe comics which were better written and a bit Darker than the Cartoon.

Yep. There's a gap as wide as the Grand Canyon between the 80s cartoon and the Marvel comics series that was running at the same time.

The comic had no problem portraying COBRA as an actual threat, and people did get killed off when things went FUBAR
 
You know what you kids need to watch?
1jK1ZzC.jpg

This
This was by Warren Ellis, this had Cobra Commander be a badass, fucking watch it.
Get the Canadian release since IIRC it was the best ver.

yeah, Resolute is pretty good
 
Yep. There's a gap as wide as the Grand Canyon between the 80s cartoon and the Marvel comics series that was running at the same time.

The comic had no problem portraying COBRA as an actual threat, and people did get killed off when things went FUBAR
Still remember that issue focusing on Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow that had no dialogue probably my favorite issue back in the day.
 
You know what you kids need to watch?
1jK1ZzC.jpg

This
This was by Warren Ellis, this had Cobra Commander be a badass, fucking watch it.
Get the Canadian release since IIRC it was the best ver.

**respek knuckles


Really? People here think Rise of Cobra is better than Retaliation?? THE FUCK??
 
2nd movie covered too much subject matter. Should have focused on 1 or two plotlines and ran with them. Seemed the 2nd one wanted to fix all the mistakes of the first.

The extended cut (only was available through best buy in the US), kinda fixed some of the issues, most of the cut stuff was besides extra violence, was the ninja stuff. The theatrical cut chopped up the whole Jinx and Ninja stuff and made it into a montage with bad Rza voice over mostly. The extended cut had it play out better and showed it was supposed to be a little Jinx subplot.
 
Retaliation made the mistake of trying to have the audience genuinely take it seriously.

The movie opens with essentially a joke for the title sequence, and jumps to Tatum playing CoD badly and then Ninjas. Really don't see how it took itself or presented itself in much of a serious manner.

The movie just suffered from it's smaller budget and focus, as everything was so toned down in the crazy department. The whole ending sequence was nothing more than a shoot out at an old fort. The movie lacked any form of spectacle, it was too grounded outside of the Ninja mountain battle. It just came off as bland.
 
That movie sucked, though the virtuosic intro scene at the Statue of Liberty remains exhilarating. Seriously, it's an insane sensory overload.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UjHfXYpwQA
^Cobra Commander does not fuck around, nor should you even show a hint of incompetence.

No it's actually pretty damned good and much closer to the GI Joe comics which were better written and a bit Darker than the Cartoon.

No it's actually pretty damned good and much closer to the GI Joe comics which were better written and a bit Darker than the Cartoon.

Oh yeah someone I used to chat with online mentioned how it was close to the comics.
 
man the first GI Joe episodes were weird.

What with Cobra HQ having like barbarian slaves and making them combat to the death arena style.
 
you know what? I thought the second one actually wasn't a bad movie. Perfectly acceptable popcorn film.

The first one was beyond terrible though.

Both of them were super mediocre. The first had snooze-level acting, but okay action sequences. The second had snooze-level action, but okay acting.

They were so average, that the only thing I can say is that "they exist".
 
But a charming joke.

I just can't get into the super serious gritty retellings.

I can agree with that.

I just take issue with all the people thinking the 80's cartoon version was anywhere close to the comics or later cartoon versions. His plans involved things like rock bands and burger joints. He frequently ran away at the end or got clowned by the Joes.
 
If you think the Sunbow series is insane (and it is), the DIC seasons are a masterpiece of absurdity. "Ah-ah-ha, you amateurs are helpless against a REAL football player!"
"Goddammit, all you need to do is put the football right under your ass."
"I don't know where either of those are anymore, Rob Liefeld was the cartoonist today."

So Cobra Commander is Rupert Murdoch?
"The only union they should be concerned with...is the one between their heads and their shoulders."

-CC
 
"Goddammit, all you need to do is put the football right under your ass."
"I don't know where either of those are anymore, Rob Liefeld was the cartoonist today."


"The only union they should be concerned with...is the one between their heads and their shoulders."

-CC

LOL the DIC Seasons?!?!
Luckily sometimes people name things esactly what they are.
 
Hey at least DIC GI Joe gave us some damn good vehicles. I had this bad boy as a kid


The damn thing was so big I had nowhere to put it.

Also had the Battle Wagon with the motorized missile launcher that would fire all missiles like a gatling gun.


Sadly my Joe's are at my brothers house in his attic so I can't take any pics personally. Too bad the color schemes on 90s era Joe vehicles were ass. My older brother had all the badass 80's vehicles to. Many of them sadly got busted up from moving or playing with them.



soooo good.gif. At one point my brother even had the USS Flagg that was given as a gift by my aunt, it got taken back because it was too big and there was nowhere to put it :/

Never got the X-19 Phantom though, that thing was gorgeous

 
Anybody remember the drug episode where the Joes drown this guy by hosing him down with gallons of red liquid crack?
DiC-HeadmanA.jpg


THAT WAS FUCKING CRAZY
 
There were some good things about it, like that awesome intro song and the episode where GI Joe and Cobra teamed up to fight a drug dealer. Blew my mind as a child.
By coincidence, I think Falcon was the GI Joe addict in that episode. I don't know if I would use the word awesome to describe the intro song, lol.
 
The extended cut (only was available through best buy in the US), kinda fixed some of the issues, most of the cut stuff was besides extra violence, was the ninja stuff. The theatrical cut chopped up the whole Jinx and Ninja stuff and made it into a montage with bad Rza voice over mostly. The extended cut had it play out better and showed it was supposed to be a little Jinx subplot.

I really like the extended cut Retaliation a lot, and I already liked the theatrical version of the 2nd movie over the first; it gave me what I liked, the Rock as a more central figure than Tatum, who seemed more likable in this film while being less of, boss ass looking Cobra Commander, more ninja fights, and random Bruce Willis being old Joe, win-win for me!
 
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