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[OneEightZero]

FHUTA?

Spoiler

Why did it take this long? ^_^

 

[Rubbish King]

"You know, I've done some reading on this and I'm sorry but I just don't think there is enough evidence to substantiate your claim."

It doesn't really matter what you say, she's going to be upset, so be prepared for that.

That's probably the best way i could say it i reckon

"Listen you old shriveled up prune I don't care if my Wi-Fi signal is making your grandchildren smoke Crack you can sit on a damn drill with a big fist attachment before I'd ever give into your crazy notions brought on by the mental frailty of age!"

Like that, but more polite.

Seems legit.

 

[marrec]

Studies show it can reduce your sperm count.

Study.

And it shows a Laptop with Wifi turned on 3 centimeters above the sperm can help reduce the viability and may damage the DNA.

 

[Orayn]

Studies show it can reduce your sperm count.

Study, singular, and that doesn't mean it was a good study or that "WIFI KILLS SPERM!" is the scientific consensus.

 

[echoshifting]

Study.

And it shows a Laptop with Wifi turned on 3 centimeters above the sperm can help reduce the viability and may damage the DNA.

brb shutting down all the wifi in my neighborhood

 

[Alucrid]

brb shutting down all the wifi in my neighborhood

you should turn them all ON, then have as much as you can

 

[Tobor]

Now about an hour ago she knocked on my door with a pen and paper, she'd asked to come in as it was really windy so she made her self comfy and then demanded i tell her what electrical stuff i had like how many computers,tvs and who's my ISP, Phone people etc. , now i dont like being mean to old people and would rather avoid conflict so i complied

Give crazy an inch, crazy will take a mile. You goofed.

 

[dab0ne]

Leave a blowdryer at her door step. That will teach her.

Even better put it in her bed, Godfather style.

 

[Numpt3]

Feed her pizza?

 

[marrec]

Feed her pizza?

I wonder if she ate Pizza that was ordered Via the internet if she would break out?

*PhilosaRaptor pose*

 

[R2D4]

Tell her to fuck off and if she puts another foot on your property you'll call the cops. Harsh but effective. Fight crazy with crazy.

 

[shinobi602]

Now about an hour ago she knocked on my door with a pen and paper, she'd asked to come in as it was really windy so she made her self comfy and then demanded i tell her what electrical stuff i had like how many computers,tvs and who's my ISP, Phone people etc. , now i dont like being mean to old people and would rather avoid conflict so i complied,?

This is where you screwed up.

Why did you do that? The hell? In the most polite way possible, I would have told her to fuck off.

 

[Alucrid]

print out a google maps image of her house, put it on her doorstep with a note saying that you have taken direct control of the government satellites.

 

[marrec]

print out a google maps image of her house, put it on her doorstep with a note saying that you have taken direct control of the government satellites.

Oooooh!

Yes, make her think you're one of those scary Hackers from Anonymous that Fox News keeps talking about.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

She might be a Virgin.

This is very good.

 

[AgentP]

get a restraining order. Tell her you are doing her and her "disease" a favor.

This.

 

[Mistake]

Nothing you say can get break through to people like this OP, my mother is a conspiracy theorist so I know first hand. She's nice, can hold a normal conversation from time to time, and even be logical, but nuts. You have limited options op, tick her off in a way where she has no reason to talk to you, or avoid her like the plague. As you've seen, people like these can talk for hours and leave you mentally exhausted, so don't be kind or you're screwed.

 

[DarthWoo]

I once met a guy who believed that not only was the laser from a barcode reader harmful if his skin was exposed to it, but that merely possessing objects that had themselves been scanned with a barcode reader was harmful. I probably should have mentioned to him that nearly everything coming out of a factory is scanned at some point.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

She saw me come home im guessing because she knocked 2 minutes after i got in so i didnt have much choice, she'd seen me through the window as i walked to the door, alas it was too late to turn back

Yeah, but you can just ignore people, you don't have to avoid them to ignore them. It isn't rude if they encroached on you first, you have to draw a line or you're going to spend your time indulging this woman.

 

[alphaNoid]

Why on earth did you stand and listen to someone babble for 40 minutes "against your will?" to begin with? Secondly, why did you let this crazy person into your life and into your home?

Serious question, do you have a spine? Are you intimidated by this 70 year old women and afraid to stand up for yourself? Do you have confrontation issues?

 

[Rubbish King]

This is where you screwed up.

Why did you do that? The hell? In the most polite way possible, I would have told her to fuck off.

i just wanted to look like i actually cared about her fake disease, she kinda started off with vague questions but she slowly started getting more intrusive i just claimed i didn't know

 

[Degen]

has been telling me she can feel the phone in my pocket as its emitting these microwaves and that i shouldn't keep it in my pocket, very awkward seeing as i left my phone at a friends a couple days ago and am yet to retrieve it.

and you just nodded your head and agreed, didn't you

 

[Alucrid]

i just wanted to look like i actually cared about her fake disease, she kinda started off with vague questions but she slowly started getting more intrusive i just claimed i didn't know

ok well next time just tell her that you can down with a disease that makes you sick when you encounter bullshit then vomit on her shoes

 

[Rubbish King]

Why on earth did you stand and listen to someone babble for 40 minutes "against your will?" to begin with? Secondly, why did you let this crazy person into your life and into your home?

Serious question, do you have a spine? Are you intimidated by this 70 year old women and afraid to stand up for yourself? Do you have confrontation issues?

I'm just not an asshole, i don't have issues over confrontation, im just thinking long term here, yeah i could just fucking stomp over the road and go ape shit and tell her to stay the fuck away, but in small towns you have to be a bit more careful what you say as everyone knows everyone and say she got really sad and shit, with my dads job i cant afford to look insensitive, its not like in big cities where you can be a cunt to somebody and never see them again

and you just nodded your head and agreed, didn't you

Lol, yup, partially because i didnt want to have to watch her squirm and also because she might go into a sub department of her bullshit factory to say how she could IDK, feel the nuclear residue from my pocket

 

[Mistake]

with my dads job i cant afford to look insensitive, its not like in big cities where you can be a cunt to somebody and never see them again

But why are you so worried over someones opinion that almost no one will take seriously? It sounds like you need to feel out the town more, build a reputation for yourself, then be a dick. All while avoiding this person as much as possible. Make a list of excuses and appear very busy all the time. Talk on your phone, even when no one is on the other line, etc.

 

[Joe Shlabotnik]

I'm just not an asshole, i don't have issues over confrontation

Yes you do, if you're conflating ignoring her or calmly but firmly pointing out that you don't have a cell phone on you with "going apeshit on her". You sound extremely wishy-washy.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

Just tell her that you've installed special filters to block the signals from crossing the street, out of deference to her illness.

 

[jett]

Seems like what you need to do is grow a pair.

 

[Cereal KiIIer]

Install these everywhere and let her come over.

 

[StriKeVillain]

But why are you so worried over someones opinion that almost no one will take seriously? It sounds like you need to feel out the town more, build a reputation for yourself, then be a dick. All while avoiding this person as much as possible. Make a list of excuses and appear very busy all the time. Talk on your phone, even when no one is on the other line, etc.

This is all unnecessary. If the OP doesn't want to speak to this woman, he shouldn't speak to her. He doesn't need to create excuses. Just ignore her and go about your business. There isn't going to be any backlash or anything, she's an old looney toon.

Of course, his problems with confrontation will probably lead him to getting pushed around but whatever. It's his course of action and his prerogative.

 

[ReadingRambo]

Sounds like she could possibly have dementia. My grandmother became convinced that people in the neighborhood were stealing from her and she would go door to door demanding the return of her possessions. They handled it like adults and escorted her back to her home and told her relatives and we took care of it. Also, people saying to call the police if she comes onto your property again are nuts. If you can't handle a 70 year old woman in a civil manner then you are the crazy neighbor. Call the police only if you feel threatened, or that she is becoming a danger to herself.

 

[marrec]

Just tell her that you've installed special filters to block the signals from crossing the street, out of deference to her illness.

"Yer fibers aren't working, this Kehjigger here tells me it's not."

 

[Rubbish King]

This is all unnecessary. If the OP doesn't want to speak to this woman, he shouldn't speak to her. He doesn't need to create excuses. Just ignore her and go about your business. There isn't going to be any backlash or anything, she's an old looney toon.

Of course, his problems with confrontation will probably lead him to getting pushed around but whatever. It's his course of action and his prerogative.

Seriously it's not to do purely with confrontation, my dad is the local Vicar, it'll reflect poorly on him if i'm rude or aggressive because all the old biddies gossip, probably should've stated that in the OP.. :S, i understand what i need to do now anyway, next time i'm just going to tell her straight i don't believe she has a problem/illness and i will call the police if she continues to harass me

 

[ReadingRambo]

Seriously it's not to do purely with confrontation, my dad is the local Vicar, it'll reflect poorly on him because all the old biddies gossip, probably should've stated that in the OP.. :S, i understand what i need to do now anyway, next time i'm just going to tell her straight i don't believe she has a problem/illness and i will call the police if she continues to harass me

Yep take the high road and threaten a 70 year old woman. FFS, this world sometimes....

 

[jett]

Yep take the high road and threaten a 70 year old woman. FFS, this world sometimes....

You. STFU.

Just because someone's an old, decrepit, insane person doesn't mean they can do whatever the fuck they want.

 

[Rubbish King]

Yep take the high road and threaten a 70 year old woman. FFS, this world sometimes....

I dont mean it in a threatening way, my mum just came home and told me she's called round a few times fishing around, it just seems like the right thing to do, maybe i wont use 'police threat' but it seems the easiest way to do this, the responses have been varied but ive come to the conclusion that the best way is to just do it cleanly and quick, to minimise the damage, so she doesn't get hurt too badly in the long run and there's nothing to bitch about


But yeah, I guess I'll bump to let you guys know if I grow a sack or not

 

[Silphonica]

Why do I feel like this is the second time I've read this story on here?

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

"Yer fibers aren't working, this Kehjigger here tells me it's not."

"This do-hickey says it does, it's a tachyon reader [meat thermometer]."

 

[Mistake]

This is all unnecessary. If the OP doesn't want to speak to this woman, he shouldn't speak to her. He doesn't need to create excuses. Just ignore her and go about your business. There isn't going to be any backlash or anything, she's an old looney toon.

Of course that's one thing he should be doing. But he wasn't being direct with the situation, so I gave a different answer.

Good luck Tash, you don't want to be dealing with this on a regular basis. It's good to end it quick in some way or another

 

[OgTheClever]

It's fairly well established now that electromagnetic hypersensitivity is far more of a psychological condition than a physical one. Honestly with this woman, I'd try not to be too rude, but I don't think there should be any obligation to conform to her demands at all.

 

[ReadingRambo]

You. STFU.

Just because someone's an old, decrepit, insane person doesn't mean they can do whatever the fuck they want.

There are better ways to handle it than involving the goddamned police. And as far as I can tell, the OP is the one who stopped to talk to her AND let her into his home.

 

[Baconbitz]

Put one of those mifi portable routers in her mailbox.

 

[alphaNoid]

I'm just not an asshole, i don't have issues over confrontation, im just thinking long term here, yeah i could just fucking stomp over the road and go ape shit and tell her to stay the fuck away, but in small towns you have to be a bit more careful what you say as everyone knows everyone and say she got really sad and shit, with my dads job i cant afford to look insensitive, its not like in big cities where you can be a cunt to somebody and never see them again

I understand and I apologize if I came off like I was attacking you. I suppose I"m a bit more of an asshole when the time comes. Theres a place and time for everything, including being an ass I think. But to each his own, I only asked because it seems like you're concerned with this crazy lady in your life, when you have voluntarily put yourself in every situation.

My advice is to just remove yourself from these situations, by whatever means you're comfortable with. Life's too short to let the crazies in!

 

[FStop7]

Right so i moved not to long ago to a seaside town with my family and there was this old woman across the street, the first time i met her i was walking my dog, she told me that she has a disease where she suffers from burns(?) from electric devices and things like phone lines and wi-fi, she talked with me about the disease and how she's done her research and that even though the doctors dont believe her she's definitely go this thing for about 45 minutes (against my will) whilst my dog just sat there clearly bored as shit.

She was clearly crazy from first glance she's 70 odd and has a massive purple wig with tonnes of weird make up on.

Now about an hour ago she knocked on my door with a pen and paper, she'd asked to come in as it was really windy so she made her self comfy and then demanded i tell her what electrical stuff i had like how many computers,tvs and who's my ISP, Phone people etc. , now i dont like being mean to old people and would rather avoid conflict so i complied, she then said there had been a cable installed into my house last week, she leads me round to where it is and it's a disused phone cable that's been there longer than she's lived her but she has just spent 20-30 minutes telling me how she can feel it and that its making her 'buzz' Now i say this and she basically calls me a liar and says she'll be back

Now I'm not saying that the disease isn't real, apparently it's a recognised disability in a few countries in Europe? But this crazy lady for the whole half an hour she bombarded me with this shit has been telling me she can feel the phone in my pocket as its emitting these microwaves and that i shouldn't keep it in my pocket, very awkward seeing as i left my phone at a friends a couple days ago and am yet to retrieve it.

SO this all being said i dont even know what to do, because i know she'll be back and i have no idea what she's going to do with all this information i've willingly given her but i sense a storm is a coming.

What can i do GAF?

The disease is bullshit. She's bullshit. Leave a microwave oven at her front door.

 

[SolsticeZero]

Just don't look. Just don't look.

 

[Rubbish King]

Why do I feel like this is the second time I've read this story on here?

Who knows, i've seen a few similar threads, im glad i posted it though it made it easier to think about it

 

[LuchaShaq]

i actually thought about experimenting with some old nokias, go over the road in the dead of night and strategically place them around her house then see what happens

Another good suggestion

Exactly why i didn't demand her to leave, she is a fairly nice lady just really nuts



She saw me come home im guessing because she knocked 2 minutes after i got in so i didnt have much choice, she'd seen me through the window as i walked to the door, alas it was too late to turn back

So? She is an old lady let her knock all she wants she will tire out.

Or open the door and tell her to fuck off.

You brought this upon yourself for letting her rant at you for an hour in the first place, dumb move.

 

[FStop7]

Sounds like she could possibly have dementia. My grandmother became convinced that people in the neighborhood were stealing from her and she would go door to door demanding the return of her possessions. They handled it like adults and escorted her back to her home and told her relatives and we took care of it.

Did they give her stuff back?

 

[Mammoth Jones]

i dont like being mean to old people and would rather avoid conflict so i complied

She's not the problem, you are.

 

[SMT]

You gladly let her come into your house, without notifying the authorities! You are way too trusting, she may have been jotting-down your electronics list and conveying it to thieves. And she'll get a cut for scouting-out the place. I know the elderly look trustworthy, but they can also use their frail disposition as an advantage when it comes to malevolence.

Don't let anyone else push you over OP, I'd also get a deadbolt installed.