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GAF, I have no ambitions in life... I think I need help.

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MarkusRJR

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I don't know what I want to do with my life. My dad even implied I was a failure before he left on vacation last week.

For a bit of back story, my brother is a really popular phone developer and is currently on an internship. He's coming back to finish his last year of university in September. My dad told me I had to go to university or I "couldn't be a true part of the family". I went along with it thinking it be the next logical step in life. He decided to let me stay at home as long as I went to university. I can't afford an apartment on my current job so it made sense to get an education and have no expenses apart from food, phone bills, and student loans.

I decided to take some biology courses for first year. After 2 months into the courses I slowly realized it just wasn't for me. I dissected a mouse and ended up throwing up, and I just couldn't get interested in the material. It wasn't something I would enjoy for a year, let alone a life time. I decided to drop a bunch of courses and in the end I only took Psychology and World Religions (I'm an atheist and I thought it might be interesting).

I've been on Summer break for the past 2 months and I spent it looking up jobs online to get an idea of what's out there. Even after the 2 months of looking I couldn't really find anything I want to do. I don't really have any ambitions in life. My only real interests are video games and music (I've been taking vocal and piano lessons for only 2 years). Obviously those aren't actual career choices so I'm kind of clueless as to what I should go into. Course selection is at the end of this month and if I don't find something I want to do I'll end up having a repeat of this year or getting kicked out. To be honest I'm way more worried about my education than the housing situation, but I'd still prefer to live at home.

What should I do GAF? Any advise (other than insults) would be welcome. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

EDIT: I'm only 19, if that matters at all.
 
19 is a really young age and you will figure it out in time. just get a general degree or something until you can think of what to do
 
QFlX6LQ2zl9pjm0nSSNy4lFgo1_400.jpg


Just abide
 
Experiment

You like Videogames, maybe making them will excite you and get you hooked. Modeling, texturing, animating, writing, programming, try it all. (Most people who play videogames don't enjoy the LONG process of helping make them)

You like Videogames and Music? Why not make Videogame music and put together a website and sell your music.

Just start trying thing and don't stop.
 
I'd think about approaching the industry (in your case music?) from a different direction. Something that would allow you to perhaps work together with musicians. Not everyone can be a popular singer but there are many ways to work in the industry you like.
 
Not having ambitions is actually fine. In our society we learn never to be satisfied with what we have and always strive for higher goals. But you don't have to. Just try out some stuff and stick with something you don't hate. The important thing is to do something. You don't have to be a genius scientist or a rock star to have a good life.
 
I'm 34 years old and still don't know what I want to do...

After highschool I've tried 4 different studies, but finished none, then started working on the financial dept of a company my sister already worked at.

After almost 2 years there I went to my current job, buyer/planner.

Also don't have any real ambitions career-wise, just want to earn enough money to enjoy my free time and have a roof above my head, and you know what ?

It's all good.
 
I know how you feel. I'm 21 and approaching my junior year of college and I still have a lot of days where I wonder "Is this major really the right thing for me?"

I haven't made any big decisions about switching yet because I just starting taking classes related to my major last fall. I enjoyed them, but I have no ambition or motivation to study things related to my major outside of class. Not to mention if I did decide to switch, I have absolutely NO clue what I would switch to. I wasn't the adventurous time back in High School and I always gravitated towards computers and video games. I think this decision hampered me in a way because I don't know what else out there that I might be interested in,

Were you looking to get into medicine or something? I wouldn't base your opinion of college on a few biology classes. You would probably have to take them regardless of your major, best to get them out of the way early.

There's nothing wrong with taking basic science, math, and English classes right now because you're going to have to take them anyway (unless you place out of them). Also, you could turn video games or music into an occupation. It all depends on how you approach those interests; there are many aspects to each of them.
 
Dude, your 19, You should be too buy travelling, drinking , experimenting with drugs and having sex with multiple partners to worry so much about your distant future.

Just dont do nothing , keep busy with something be it study or work and forget the degree Unless you can find something you actually want to study.
 
The M.O.B said:
Experiment

You like Videogames, maybe making them will excite you and get you hooked. Modeling, texturing, animating, writing, programming, try it all. (Most people who play videogames don't enjoy the LONG process of helping make them)

You like Videogames and Music? Why not make Videogame music and put together a website and sell your music.

Just start trying thing and don't stop.
Click to expand...
I've always wanted to do 3D modelling and animating but I had the worst experience with Computer Science in high school. I had an asian teacher that could barely speak english and he just made us do worksheets. Plus, after doing high school calculus I wanted to kill myself. If 3D modeling and animation don't require university level math I'd be interested, although I'm not sure how to get started in that.

Nyx said:
I'm 34 years old and still don't know what I want to do...

After highschool I've tried 4 different studies, but finished none, then started working on the financial dept of a company my sister already worked at.

After almost 2 years there I went to my current job, buyer/planner.

Also don't have any real ambitions career-wise, just want to earn enough money to enjoy my free time and have a roof above my head, and you know what ?

It's all good.
Click to expand...
That's pretty much what I want. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing to some degree too, and not get stuck in a nightmare job for the rest of my life.

A bit off topic buy my dad has been a buyer/planner for the past 15 years. :o

goomba said:
Dude, your 19, You should be too buy travelling, drinking , experimenting with drugs and having sex with multiple partners to worry so much about your distant future.

Just dont do nothing , keep busy with something be it study or work and forget the degree Unless you can find something you actually want to study.
Click to expand...
All of my close friends moved after high school and I was kind of suicidal up until a few months ago. I'm also gay and I can't "come out" living here. I already know I'm going to lose my family after I tell them (my dad and other family members have expressed some extreme hatred to gay people), so I'm just postponing it until I can survive on my own. I don't have any money to travel either. I haven't really done anything "social" in about a year and I have no opportunities to become social here so I just need to worry about school and work.

leroidys said:
Are you in America? If so, don't spend $50k to get a general degree in something that will not get you a job.



This is the hard part. Most people can't just "follow their dreams" and have things work out. Things don't work out, and you are poor AND working retail or something shitty while praying for death. The choice isn't between doing something fulfilling and making a lot of money.
Click to expand...

I live in Canada. 1st year costed me $4k and I assume it'll probably cost $25k-$30k overall. I know things aren't going to end up well, I just want to work towards the best possible option.
 
Are you in America? If so, don't spend $50k to get a general degree in something that will not get you a job.

Yaceka said:
I've always wanted to do 3D modelling and animating but I had the worst experience with Computer Science in high school. I had an asian teacher that could barely speak english and he just made us do worksheets. Plus, after doing high school calculus I wanted to kill myself. If 3D modeling and animation don't require university level math I'd be interested, although I'm not sure how to get started in that.


That's pretty much what I want. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing to some degree too, and not get stuck in a nightmare job for the rest of my life.

A bit off topic buy my dad has been a buyer/planner for the past 15 years. :o
Click to expand...

This is the hard part. Most people can't just "follow their dreams" and have things work out. Things don't work out, and you are poor AND working retail or something shitty while praying for death. The choice isn't between doing something fulfilling and making a lot of money.
 
Speaking as a 19 year old too. Don't worry OP, we're still babies. Although I have a plan set in mind, I'm aware that it could possibly change into something completely different in the future. Just like with having no ambitions now, you'll eventually find something that you want to do for yourself. Experiment, experience, and have fun ;3
 
Yaceka said:
I don't know what I want to do with my life. My dad even implied I was a failure before he left on vacation last week.

For a bit of back story, my brother is a really popular phone developer and is currently on an internship. He's coming back to finish his last year of university in September. My dad told me I had to go to university or I "couldn't be a true part of the family". I went along with it thinking it be the next logical step in life. He decided to let me stay at home as long as I went to university. I can't afford an apartment on my current job so it made sense to get an education and have no expenses apart from food, phone bills, and student loans.

I decided to take some biology courses for first year. After 2 months into the courses I slowly realized it just wasn't for me. I dissected a mouse and ended up throwing up, and I just couldn't get interested in the material. It wasn't something I would enjoy for a year, let alone a life time. I decided to drop a bunch of courses and in the end I only took Psychology and World Religions (I'm an atheist and I thought it might be interesting).

I've been on Summer break for the past 2 months and I spent it looking up jobs online to get an idea of what's out there. Even after the 2 months of looking I couldn't really find anything I want to do. I don't really have any ambitions in life. My only real interests are video games and music (I've been taking vocal and piano lessons for only 2 years). Obviously those aren't actual career choices so I'm kind of clueless as to what I should go into. Course selection is at the end of this month and if I don't find something I want to do I'll end up having a repeat of this year or getting kicked out. To be honest I'm way more worried about my education than the housing situation, but I'd still prefer to live at home.

What should I do GAF? Any advise (other than insults) would be welcome. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

EDIT: I'm only 19, if that matters at all.
Click to expand...

You're only 19?

Seek out your interests and get involved in them. It sounds like you don't know who you are enough yet to have a grasp of what you would be happiest doing. Find your interests and enroll in classes or local groups for them. Study online about topics you find intriguing and even if you suck at any of these things stick with them so long as they still interest you as a topic. Eventually, you'll know what gives you a sense of satisfaction to get better at and this is usually the best route to find career related fields in. For me it was animation and gaming as I love art, technology, and I analyze the hell out of whatever I play and get irritated if I see a game that could have been done better.

For the record it took years of self discovery and trying lots of things to come to this final conclusion. I nearly finished an engineering degree in power plant technology before making my final choice. I already had a job waiting on me with AEP too and I tossed it for what mattered to me. Haven't regretted it since and that kind of honest realization about what I cared about gave me the drive to really accomplish a lot with my degree. I'm top of my class because I admitted to myself how much this meant to me and stopped acting like a teenager and let something in and let it matter for once. Fun is secondary to doing what matters and admitting what matters to you the most is the biggest thing you need to do. To do that you need to try enough things to figure that out for real.

Figure out who you are by what your interests are OP. Once you start discovering a bit more about what holds your interests and fulfills you the most out of those things then you will know where to focus your career.
 
You're only 19 years old, man. It's understandable that you are unsure of what you want to do.

My recommendation? Just take general education courses at college until you decide upon a major you might want to take on. Go to a councilor or student adviser to help you decide if you need to, they are great resources and it is essentially their job to help you.

The fact that you are "worried" that you don't know what you want to do is good: it shows that you care, and that you do actually want to want to do something. If you were completely apathetic to the situation, that would probably be a poor sign.

Take some gen ed courses, keep thinking about what you might want to do, talk to a student adviser, talk to friends and family (not family that will call you a failure though...wtf, that's not the kind of "support" you need to be hearing).

Chin up, you're young.
 
Yaceka said:
That's pretty much what I want. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing to some degree too, and not get stuck in a nightmare job for the rest of my life.

A bit off topic buy my dad has been a buyer/planner for the past 15 years. :o
Click to expand...

Why not try and find a job at a recordstore/musical instrument store or something?
Then you have a job, make money to be able to live on your own, and you are doing something with your hobbies.

Surely itÂ’s no dreamjob, but youÂ’re still young and have loads of time to f.e. take up a study next to the job.
 
I just turned 31 and feel kinda similar, so you really shouldn't worry about feeling that way at goddamn 19!

I'm just focusing on smaller scale goals at the moment : eating healthier, getting back into shape, catching up on TV shows, improving my guitar skills etc. instead of focusing on some big whatamigoingtodoohmygod plans.

Life is what happens when youre making other plans, etc.
 
Also coming up on 19, thought the same thing. Turns out (I guess) all you have to do are things you're good at. You don't need to stick to it forever, but again, as long as you're trying to do something. Move towards your interests and you'll discover something.

I'm good with kids (that is, kids like me or something), so I decided to tutor at my old high school, and I loved it. Hell, I ended up having 3 jobs in my old school district this past school year. Now I'm actually considering being a teacher or mentor for students, maybe a counselor. And that's discounting my other areas of interest, like acting.

Really explore your options. There's a lot hidden under the umbrellas of "music" and "video games." I'm sure you also see how the two can connect.
 
Hey atleast you are in college. You are 19.

I am 21, and have a bachelor in Sociology. Feel the same way. Also, I have never had a job. Sooooo yea. But my family is chill, because I got into college. Also 0 freinds. But Im happy, I gots internet!

I just toook up sociology because I took the social sience path in high school. I still dont know what sociology is. After 3 years and a degree. I dont know where to find info on it. I like tech and there are loads of sites not that. OH W8 THERE ARE LOL
 
Yaceka said:
I've always wanted to do 3D modelling and animating but I had the worst experience with Computer Science in high school. I had an asian teacher that could barely speak english and he just made us do worksheets. Plus, after doing high school calculus I wanted to kill myself. If 3D modeling and animation don't require university level math I'd be interested, although I'm not sure how to get started in that.
Click to expand...

They don't require math at all. Download Blender and hit youtube for tutorials. Nothing more needed really.
 
Yaceka said:
I've always wanted to do 3D modelling and animating but I had the worst experience with Computer Science in high school. I had an asian teacher that could barely speak english and he just made us do worksheets. Plus, after doing high school calculus I wanted to kill myself. If 3D modeling and animation don't require university level math I'd be interested, although I'm not sure how to get started in that.


That's pretty much what I want. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing to some degree too, and not get stuck in a nightmare job for the rest of my life.

A bit off topic buy my dad has been a buyer/planner for the past 15 years. :o


All of my close friends moved after high school and I was kind of suicidal up until a few months ago. I'm also gay and I can't "come out" living here. I already know I'm going to lose my family after I tell them (my dad and other family members have expressed some extreme hatred to gay people), so I'm just postponing it until I can survive on my own. I don't have any money to travel either. I haven't really done anything "social" in about a year and I have no opportunities to become social here so I just need to worry about school and work.



I live in Canada. 1st year costed me $4k and I assume it'll probably cost $25k-$30k overall. I know things aren't going to end up well, I just want to work towards the best possible option.
Click to expand...

No sweat, it's easy to get started. Also to my knowledge, high level math isn't required for modeling and animation at all. I've never had to use it for stuff like that. I think you are are confusing it with programming such tools.

Download Blender, it's free, and search some free tutorials, see if you like it. I'd be surprised if you came across math.
Also, don't worry about the Computer Science part, Computer Science in High School is nothing and I doubt you'd be able to learn much with this is you did had a good teacher.

EDIT: Beaten, well see my advice as a confirmation. I'm also a 19 year old with a passion for video games.
 
Hey I was the same until quite recently, but I'm 31! I was drifting in a shitty menial job, but I've begun to fall in love with cosmology and now know its what I want to do, or try my hardest to at least. Your passion is out there, and you will find it.
 
Brushing off being 19 as something that "may" be unimportant says it all. I forgot what age it is when you look back at yourself worrying about stupid shit as a kid and laugh.

Not to say all your problems will be solved mid 20s or whatever. Just that core shit is gonna happen to you in the next few years that will really shape some shit. When you are 19 you are just starting to realize you gotta figure out shit, and then you panic when it isn't delivered to you in an enlightening vision.

Don't worry about it. Stay in college. Meet people. Eventually something will spark your interest
 
I had no clue what I was doing when I was 19. In fact I'm 24 and still have no clue why I do anything other than cultural inertia.

I'm returning to school but really it's only because I don't know what else to do with my life.

So my advice to you would be to stay in school until you truly figure out whether or not you want to be there. Don't just quit because next thing you know you will have wasted 5 years of your life doing nothing productive and then you will wind up back in school anyways.

Maybe you would benefit from not being so goal-oriented. You seem stressed because you don't know what the finish line is. Maybe take this time as an opportunity to just enjoy the show, and wait for the goal to find you.

There is a lot to appreciate about life even if we don't always know where we are going.
 
Music producer or sound engineer?

Do you like movies? Maybe you want to do CGI.

Or go into filmmaking. You don't have to be a director, if you look at a film's credits there's a shitload of related jobs that aren't acting or directing.

Or since you're Canadian maybe milk packaging is in your future
 
I don't know if you can afford this but it seems to be just about the best possible thing someone with your interests and available money can do. Be warned it is crazy expensive.

https://www.digipen.edu/index.php?id=9524

Your interests are the same as mine. I'm 19. My college / job search / getting kicked out threat experience was exactly like yours. I'm doing this. The engineering one. Only difference is I've been involved in music much longer, and am already somewhat knowledgeable at a beginner level when it comes to programming. They're still accepting applications for about a month and a half. Maybe we could live together?

My problem forever has been that I could never be interested in something if it wasn't what I loved. Music or video games. Nothing ever combined them; no schooling fulfilled that interest. I feel like this program is what I've been looking for my whole life. It's brand new starting this year.
Sounds crazy but call me maybe.
 
"The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."

You'll be fine, life is for living. Do what makes you happy.
 
I'm in a very similar situation. Been going to a community college for three years part-time just taking some electives because I don't know what I want to do. Like you, my only real interest is video games (I'd be more interested in music if I had any musical talent...). I just don't know what to do with my life. I feel like I'm just wasting my time and money with college.

I'm 21, by the way. Been feeling like this since I was 18, and I honestly don't see it changing anytime soon. =/

EDIT: Also, like you, I'm gay. Actually ended up moving across the country to be with my boyfriend and away from my family after they found out... They're probably not as bad as your family seems to be, but still, I understand how that feels. Not fun at all. :(
 
I just figured out what I'm gonna do... and I'm 27. :P No problem dudes.
 
Join the Navy.

You're 19 though, no big deal. Just experiment with different subjects until something clicks. I was in your shoes coming out of High School. I had no damn clue what to do and it wasn't until I turned 25 that things started to click together.
 
I'm 21 and don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing either.
I took a year of sciences in university right out of high school, which pretty much ended with "fuck this", and that's what I THOUGHT I wanted to do, which left me really confused.
I then spent a year working a shitty job to pay off my student loan.
Then I planned on going back to school, but I didn't.
Now I've been unemployed for 8 months, doing fuck all, battling depression, etc....
Planning on going back to school in January but we'll see if that actually happens

Listen to all these other guys in here, though; it takes a long time for some people to figure shit out. I'm really worried that I'll never figure it out either...
but hey, you're still young so don't worry about it, as others in this thread have said, try things out, do things you enjoy, something will come along
 
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later."

I wouldn't want to be a true part of the family if it means pretending to be something I'm not, OP.
 
go read "what color is your parachute" at least the chapters on deciding on your ideal career. you might be surprised what sorts of things you are cut out for.
 
Don't worry about it man, you have plenty of time.

Ever since I was a young kid I had the same ambition in life, but last year that ambition started to fade.

To have a long-lasting dream like that essentially vanish was... heartbreaking. It was the coming to the reality of things which was the hardest thing to take, but I've managed to somewhat alter that ambition for the better now.

The main problem is just how many goals I have nowadays, since it has certainly gone up... a lot.
 
Your mistake was those courses. Why would you take a bunch of biology courses with no interest in the subject, or even that religious course. Your suppose to knock out the basic courses first, maybe tackle another language. Then dabble in stuff that might interest you. You can get by 2 years doing that. Take a music class here, maybe a writing class there. If youre good in math maybe try programmin if you dont like it then maybe film, photography, music... You can try it all. Make some friends, maybe seek out some new gay friends that know what your going through.
 
My best advice for you at your age and you have no idea what to do - join the Armed Forces. Seriously.

Speaking from personal experience, OP you sound like you need direction, and the military can provide that. They can expose you to a broad range of different areas of subjects and expertise, so you will also learn a lot, A LOT. All the while you will be serving your country and also you will make friends for life.

Barring that, you love games, but just because you love games doesn't mean you should look for work in the industry. Working on game development and playing games are really, really, REALLY different things, and you may find yourself not enjoying your gaming as much as before when your dealing with development everyday. Game development is tough work and very generally speaking, a high risk, low financial gain sort of business to get into. THEN again, the flip side is you enjoy every minute of it and you won't be working a day in your life, so to speak. Caveat Emptor.

You also like music - so why not look at going to a Conservatory of Music or something?
 
dentoomw said:
My best advice for you at your age and you have no idea what to do - join the Armed Forces. Seriously.

Speaking from personal experience, OP you sound like you need direction, and the military can provide that. They can expose you to a broad range of different areas of subjects and expertise, so you will also learn a lot, A LOT. All the while you will be serving your country and also you will make friends for life.
Click to expand...

and all he has to give in return is his life and his soul. what a bargain.
 
I'm 19, my dad hates me and can't find any job too, but it doesn't matter to me. I'm just going through the days assuming something good will happen eventually, and it probably will.
 
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