I find that many, many people have this mindset that they have to martyr themselves when they become parents, as if they cease to exist for anything but childcare anymore. My wife and I both agreed back in November when we found out that we were pregnant that we would always be sure to put ourselves first and our family a close second. Helicopter parents are weird. How can you parent well if you're totally stressed all the time because you make no time for yourselves?
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Gamers with Kids: Backlogs from Hell
- Thread starter mdsfx
- Start date
I find that many, many people have this mindset that they have to martyr themselves when they become parents, as if they cease to exist for anything but childcare anymore. My wife and I both agreed back in November when we found out that we were pregnant that we would always be sure to put ourselves first and our family a close second. Helicopter parents are weird. How can you parent well if you're totally stressed all the time because you make no time for yourselves?
That's why we're waiting 4-5 years to even think about having a second. There are more strikes in the "Against" column than the "For" column right now.
Black Mantis
Member
Yup, OP sums up my gaming life perfectly. Sometimes a game will come along that I'll grab every possible moment to play it (Sunset Overdrive was the last one and Halo 5 is shaping up to be the next one), but generally I have to be more selective in what I buy, otherwise I'm just adding to my backlog.
AliasGreed
Member
I'm on the same boat, the key for me is to embrace hand held gaming. Vita and 3ds you can play in spurts on 30 minutes then go back to doing your real life chores.
CambriaRising
Member
It's going to get easier when your child gets a little older. Trust me.
megabytecr
Member
In the same boat, I have one day a week for a 4-6 hour session, then if lucky I will get 1-2 hours here and there, which are really not tailored for a massive game, so I pick up a match on FIFA, or a quick CS GO session. The so called, best gaming value, or time sinkers, aren't so hot for me, even if I want to play them.
Ideally, I would love to have a lot of Single Player games, with a length between 6-8 hours each.
Ideally, I would love to have a lot of Single Player games, with a length between 6-8 hours each.
Marty Chinn
Member
Eh? I advocate getting it over with for several reasons. You're always going to have to deal with both kids. The first one is fairly self sufficient but you still have to tend to both of them, so waiting 4 or 5 years isn't going to help that much. However, waiting means the siblings will have a bigger gap between them which can affect all sorts of things like them playing together, how you deal with daycare or school, passing down clothes, toys, any other stuff. It's a big money saver taking advantage of those things. Then think further down the line of how old you'll be relative to when the second or even third if you plan to go that far will be in college, etc. Plus you're just spreading out how long it will be before both kids are old enough to do some things. There's a lot of good reasons to have the closer to each other rather than spread them apart.
Omegasquash
Member
I've had lots of people say this, my wife, my mother in law, and my sister in law chief among them. They grew up with decidedly more assets than I did, so we'll see about the expense thing panning out.
I'm on the "kids first, myself second, wife/relationship with wife third" track. That all three align 99% of the time makes things easy, but the 1% is also a straight up conditional.
I've got a four-year-old and another due in October, so I completely understand your situation. I buy more games than I need to and rarely finish them. I actually find myself replaying games that I've already finished fairly often because I know exactly what I need to do and I know that they're fun throughout. (Or, if there are some bad parts, I know what to expect.)
I play portable games much more than PC or console games simply because of the convenience. I can play them on my lunch break at work and in small bursts at home, as well as during my usual gaming time after the family goes to bed.
I play portable games much more than PC or console games simply because of the convenience. I can play them on my lunch break at work and in small bursts at home, as well as during my usual gaming time after the family goes to bed.
Omegasquash
Member
Always remember that 2 kids is more than twice the work. It is also what 3DS/Vita/setting up a fucking 360 in your bedroom and beating RE4 HD is for.
Because after the oldest is asleep, your ass will still be up at 3 am for a few months.
Backlogger
Member
I feel like the OP and I should be friends. I have 2 kids and 1 on the way. Huge backlog of games. I play stuff on easy and skip extra content to get through it more quickly so I can get onto the next game. I haven't 100%'d a game in years.
I also find myself playing LEGO games and Minecraft with my son, which cuts into my "daddy game" time ("daddy" games are games that my son isn't allowed to play yet).
I love my kids though, so I deal with it.
I also find myself playing LEGO games and Minecraft with my son, which cuts into my "daddy game" time ("daddy" games are games that my son isn't allowed to play yet).
I love my kids though, so I deal with it.
You definitely have to make some time for yourself or else you'll either go crazy or you're kids will move out someday and you'll be left a husk of a human being who lived only for their kids. My wife and I make sure to take time for ourselves, both together and separately. It makes us better parents. It works out nicely that my wife is social so she wants to go spend time visiting with friends so when she goes out a few evenings a month (mostly on "knitting dates"), I get extra time alone with the TV.
Life's about balance.
I feel ya OP. I have a one-year-old son that I hope becomes a little gamer in a few years, so I can get some of my game time back and we can play together.
This past year I bought a PS4 and a Vita so I can Remote Play whenever I can squeeze in some time, and it has been a lifesaver. It's probably the way I game the most at this point. If a game has custom controls specifically for Remote Play, it's a big selling point for me.
This past year I bought a PS4 and a Vita so I can Remote Play whenever I can squeeze in some time, and it has been a lifesaver. It's probably the way I game the most at this point. If a game has custom controls specifically for Remote Play, it's a big selling point for me.
BenjiZombie
Neo Member
Amen brother!
Varjis
Member
Just wrapped up all the achievements in Witcher 3 and getting ready to start the next game in ye olde backlog and looking at fall releases and crying a little.
For me, the only playing time is after my 3 year old goes to sleep or Saturday afternoons if he spends some time with the grandparents and the wife doesn't have any honey dos...
For me, the only playing time is after my 3 year old goes to sleep or Saturday afternoons if he spends some time with the grandparents and the wife doesn't have any honey dos...
Marty Chinn
Member
Every once in a great while your kids will take serious interest in your hobbies. A day to remember:
After watching Wreck-It Ralf - "Can you take me to an arcade? I want to play on the big games.".... "absolutely"
Watching my 20 month old and 4 year old discover my arcade cabinet and both play Street Fighter 2 for the first time was amusing. I'm glad I got a video of their first ever match.
My son is 8, and he's such a good gamer now. We play splatoon, wooly world, hyrule warriors (acebest). Animal Crossing, fantasy life ... Minecraft on vita. Pretty Nintendo heavy, but still, good times. Oh, Rayman legends, lego games. So much gaming.
WiiU and portable we play together so much.
For me, I play on PC in the evenings after his bed time. I just consumed all the episodes of Life Is Strange. Went through dark souls 2, shadow of mordor in one to two hour stints 3 or 4 times a week.
So, keep it up. It can work out really well.
WiiU and portable we play together so much.
For me, I play on PC in the evenings after his bed time. I just consumed all the episodes of Life Is Strange. Went through dark souls 2, shadow of mordor in one to two hour stints 3 or 4 times a week.
So, keep it up. It can work out really well.
It was so amazing watching my son go from being barely able to move a character to actually completing levels in games like DKC Returns and Super Mario 3D Land. Those games, along with just running around ruining a town in Animal Crossing, even helped him with some of his motor skills since he's autistic and was having issues with that sort of thing.
Until just a couple of months ago, he would often ask me to play a game so that he could see parts of the levels that he couldn't reach on his own. I admit that it got annoying when he asked me to do "Grassland Groove" in DKC:TF for the tenth time in a day, though. Now that he's improving, he says "I want to do it all by myself" for most games that he tries. (Sniff...)
Until just a couple of months ago, he would often ask me to play a game so that he could see parts of the levels that he couldn't reach on his own. I admit that it got annoying when he asked me to do "Grassland Groove" in DKC:TF for the tenth time in a day, though. Now that he's improving, he says "I want to do it all by myself" for most games that he tries. (Sniff...)
Daughter is 1 1/2 now... i can usually get away with playing for a few hours in the morning and afternoon when she goes down for a nap... but yeah any online games... i have to preface by saying "if i randomly AFK... its the babby."
Fortunately im the stay at home parent... when the wife comes home from work, her and the kid pass out and i play all fucking night! lol.
Fortunately im the stay at home parent... when the wife comes home from work, her and the kid pass out and i play all fucking night! lol.
RuneFactoryFanboy
Member
I only have one but I understand where you are coming from. I have the exact same thoughts about online gaming too so I don't bother until after bed time.
My backlog isn't growing at a faster rate or anything. It's really just forced me to be much more selective of what I play. I don't play many Indie or B-Tier games anymore because with my time so limited, why not fill it with cream-of-the-crop content? Do I spend my time on this months simple indie game from Playstation Plus? Or do I jump into this deep, well received game from some of the industry's top talent?
My backlog isn't growing at a faster rate or anything. It's really just forced me to be much more selective of what I play. I don't play many Indie or B-Tier games anymore because with my time so limited, why not fill it with cream-of-the-crop content? Do I spend my time on this months simple indie game from Playstation Plus? Or do I jump into this deep, well received game from some of the industry's top talent?
Oh my God, this is literally me right now. It hit me during Arkham Knight, where I just wanted everything spoon fed to me so that I could beat the game as fast as possible. After I beat the game, I was like: "Oh okay, so that just happened." There was a time where I savored exploration, where I cranked that difficulty right up because I loved the challenge...but now? Nope, ain't got time for that shit.
And like you mentioned, online games....yeah, no. My friends keep asking me to jump back into Dota...HAH. Not happening, bro (but maybe that's a good thing). Maybe I'll be able to play CoD on the weekends, maybe...
Priorities man, kids are the best thing ever, but time is no longer your own, especially for a time consuming hobby like video games. It's worse when you're one of those guys who likes mastering games as well.
*Typed in the comfort of my workplace, because I doubt I'll have the time to do so at home
And like you mentioned, online games....yeah, no. My friends keep asking me to jump back into Dota...HAH. Not happening, bro (but maybe that's a good thing). Maybe I'll be able to play CoD on the weekends, maybe...
Priorities man, kids are the best thing ever, but time is no longer your own, especially for a time consuming hobby like video games. It's worse when you're one of those guys who likes mastering games as well.
*Typed in the comfort of my workplace, because I doubt I'll have the time to do so at home
speedomodel
Member
Son is a month and half. Already feeling the games pile up...
TheyTookOurJobs
Member
I don't have kids (I live part-time with my parents), but I have to take care of my elderly Mom like she's a baby. Which also means I have to do everything she used to do (housework, grocery shopping) + I have to take care of things in my house.
I don't get as much time in on gaming as I'd like to. I feel your pain.
I don't get as much time in on gaming as I'd like to. I feel your pain.
Omegasquash
Member
Every once in a great while your kids will take serious interest in your hobbies. A day to remember:
After watching Wreck-It Ralf - "Can you take me to an arcade? I want to play on the big games.".... "absolutely
A few weeks ago, I took my son to Funspot up in NH. I only took a few pictures, but seeing him play Space Harrier, After Burner, and Super Hang-on was amazing.
stop buying games just because they're on sale
especially steam sales or humble bundles
all that shit does is give you a backlog
I haven't bought anything from a steam sale in years and it's great. my backlog is down to three games and should be completely gone by the end of the month.
I also don't buy new games anymore unless they're $40 or less. these summer droughts (and january/february droughts) are awesome for the backlog, provided you don't go on ebay or steam and just keep buying random games.
I actively stopped buying games at random in january of 2014. my backlog was at 110 games at the time. I'd still buy the new games I was really interested in (not kinda interested in, not games that got good reviews, just games I KNEW I wanted), and in 2014 that might have been, what... 7 or 8 games in total? clear tropical freeze, and it's back to chipping away at the backlog. clear three games off the backlog, mario kart 8 comes out. I finish that in a week, and it's back to the backlog. my general rule was to try and clear at least 3 games between playing new games. for every new game I buy, clear three or more off the backlog.
and now i've all but eradicated my backlog. the main objective is to stop buying tons of random, cheap games. you know you don't have the time to play them, and deep down, you don't even want to play them. you just bought them because they were cheap and you heard they were good. fuck that shit. buy a new game when you're ready to play it, even if it's more expensive at a later time. and if you care about clearing your backlog, you aren't ready to play it until that backlog is clear. unless it's called P.T, that game ain't going anywhere.
oh, and the most important thing: don't play JRPGs. just quit them cold turkey
especially steam sales or humble bundles
all that shit does is give you a backlog
I haven't bought anything from a steam sale in years and it's great. my backlog is down to three games and should be completely gone by the end of the month.
I also don't buy new games anymore unless they're $40 or less. these summer droughts (and january/february droughts) are awesome for the backlog, provided you don't go on ebay or steam and just keep buying random games.
I actively stopped buying games at random in january of 2014. my backlog was at 110 games at the time. I'd still buy the new games I was really interested in (not kinda interested in, not games that got good reviews, just games I KNEW I wanted), and in 2014 that might have been, what... 7 or 8 games in total? clear tropical freeze, and it's back to chipping away at the backlog. clear three games off the backlog, mario kart 8 comes out. I finish that in a week, and it's back to the backlog. my general rule was to try and clear at least 3 games between playing new games. for every new game I buy, clear three or more off the backlog.
and now i've all but eradicated my backlog. the main objective is to stop buying tons of random, cheap games. you know you don't have the time to play them, and deep down, you don't even want to play them. you just bought them because they were cheap and you heard they were good. fuck that shit. buy a new game when you're ready to play it, even if it's more expensive at a later time. and if you care about clearing your backlog, you aren't ready to play it until that backlog is clear. unless it's called P.T, that game ain't going anywhere.
oh, and the most important thing: don't play JRPGs. just quit them cold turkey
Mihalis0013
Neo Member
I'm in a similar boat (Have Xbox One, PS4 and Eyefinity PC). Here are my tips, it has helped me a lot...
Make spreadsheet of games you want to play and order them by priority keeping stuff that hasn't come out all at the bottom
When games are on crazy sale that are on your list buy them then.
Learn to love 5 hour energy shots and use at 10:30pm on Friday and Saturday night. Should get you to around 3ish before your brain is complete mush and will give just enough sleep not to go clinically insane when your children wake you up in a few hours
Finally, don't worry about getting or playing games when they come out. Since I've stopper worrying about OMG Game X is out! It's been great. Sure I am LTTP on pretty much everything these days but so what? I get them cheaper and by the time I pick them up they're already patched the 19 or so times required to get them right.
As an added bonus, I get gift cards for all the systems from people for holidays, birthdays and such so I haven't actually had to buy myself a game since Forza 5 on launch day.
Only exceptions are sports games or multiplayer.
Oh and for multiplayer... Hearthstone... you can play it on your phone or tablet as well as PC which makes sneaking in games while dinner is being prepared much easier than switching the tv over or jumping on a PC and throwing on a headset.
GL OP and everyone else!
Make spreadsheet of games you want to play and order them by priority keeping stuff that hasn't come out all at the bottom
When games are on crazy sale that are on your list buy them then.
Learn to love 5 hour energy shots and use at 10:30pm on Friday and Saturday night. Should get you to around 3ish before your brain is complete mush and will give just enough sleep not to go clinically insane when your children wake you up in a few hours
Finally, don't worry about getting or playing games when they come out. Since I've stopper worrying about OMG Game X is out! It's been great. Sure I am LTTP on pretty much everything these days but so what? I get them cheaper and by the time I pick them up they're already patched the 19 or so times required to get them right.
As an added bonus, I get gift cards for all the systems from people for holidays, birthdays and such so I haven't actually had to buy myself a game since Forza 5 on launch day.
Only exceptions are sports games or multiplayer.
Oh and for multiplayer... Hearthstone... you can play it on your phone or tablet as well as PC which makes sneaking in games while dinner is being prepared much easier than switching the tv over or jumping on a PC and throwing on a headset.
GL OP and everyone else!
RedNumberFive
Banned
I've got a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I also have a wife that works evenings and is working on her masters over the weekend. I'm lucky if I can get 2 hours in a week these days.
That said, I left work a bit early today so I can finally wrap up Batman. What am I doing on GAF?
That said, I left work a bit early today so I can finally wrap up Batman. What am I doing on GAF?
SillyEskimo
Member
I have 2 daughters ages 6&8 that play so intently with each other that they could care less if my wife and I are there half the time. I can pretty much play video games whenever I want.
So my advice is to have more kids
So my advice is to have more kids
Sikamikanico
#1 Dad
This thread man.
I'm just reading and saying "yep...yep...uhuh....tell me about it!"
My backlog is enormous, and I only have one child, my son, who's only 16 months old.
He LOVES the controllers though. Proper little gamer in the making.
But I've put a ban on buying most stuff now. Halo 5 and Tomb Raider will be the next purchases pretty much.
And Gears...
And Fallout 4....
And...
Fuck it man, we're all screwed!
I'm just reading and saying "yep...yep...uhuh....tell me about it!"
My backlog is enormous, and I only have one child, my son, who's only 16 months old.
He LOVES the controllers though. Proper little gamer in the making.
But I've put a ban on buying most stuff now. Halo 5 and Tomb Raider will be the next purchases pretty much.
And Gears...
And Fallout 4....
And...
Fuck it man, we're all screwed!
Aces&Eights
Member
Lol, oh just wait until she is in Jr high.... muwahahaha
mdsfx
Member
Hahaha
DeathByBacklog
Member
You sir...I can relate to.
I do wish cutscenes were universally skippable, pause-able and with a summary of what was said that you can access from the menu. Too often some essential bit of plot flies past while I'm fielding a question from my other half and I end up trying to find it on youtube on my lunch break!
I find them a bit over-used, TBH. It's cool for exposition or for showing characters relaxing if those models don't easily exist in-engine, but if it's a critical fight that can't be represented in gameplay where the game is 90% about fighting, it always ends up feeling like the director's need for something to look and work out the way (s)he wants it to took priority over me actually playing out a pivotal moment in a twenty-hour+ story.
My most despised use of this is when a villain that turned up and tried to kill you then runs away while you watch in a cut scene, after you've been wiping the floor with them. You know that in gameplay you'd be hunting them down and finishing what you started, it just leaves me feeling a bit cheated at the blatant implied stupidity of my character once the director wrestles control from me to save his precious pawn with the hand-of-god.
AngmarsKing701
Member
2 boys, 17 and 15. They spend more time on the Xbone than I do. I'm finally getting back to playing stuff on Steam. And in 3 years I'll be able to tackle the backlog once I'm in empty nester mode.
DJ_Lae
Member
I've stopped worrying about my backlog, although I know it's enormous and in the several hundreds at this point. I just play what I'm most interested in at any given time, even if it's a new release. I try not to buy as many as I used to, at least.
Only my oldest daughter plays games so far (she's 5). Other two are a bit young yet. But they're all spoiled by having a pretty fantastic library of games suitable for their age including a back catalogue of stuff too.
Only my oldest daughter plays games so far (she's 5). Other two are a bit young yet. But they're all spoiled by having a pretty fantastic library of games suitable for their age including a back catalogue of stuff too.
RealityCheque
Banned
I'm a dad to two girls aged 5 and 2. And I hear you OP, time is precious.
But I have a few simple strategies that help me finish 2-3 games a month.
1) no TV in my free time. It's shit, games are infinitely more entertaining.
2) don't be a completionist, finish the game and move on. Theres a lot of the Witcher 3 I've yet to see but I'm satisfied with the 60 hours or so that I spent with it.
3) play with your kids as well. Ella, my 5 year old, is just starting to get good enough at a few games that it's becoming something we can do together. Started her off with Lego Marvel which she loved and its helped her move onto more complex things. Shes currently mad for trials evolution which is huge fun in split screen.
4) set a plan every month, be realistic and set aside time to enjoy your hobby. GAF is here for you.
But I have a few simple strategies that help me finish 2-3 games a month.
1) no TV in my free time. It's shit, games are infinitely more entertaining.
2) don't be a completionist, finish the game and move on. Theres a lot of the Witcher 3 I've yet to see but I'm satisfied with the 60 hours or so that I spent with it.
3) play with your kids as well. Ella, my 5 year old, is just starting to get good enough at a few games that it's becoming something we can do together. Started her off with Lego Marvel which she loved and its helped her move onto more complex things. Shes currently mad for trials evolution which is huge fun in split screen.
4) set a plan every month, be realistic and set aside time to enjoy your hobby. GAF is here for you.
Depends on the kids. As a dad of a 6 yr old special needs son and an 18 month old climbing monkey/menace of a daughter, I don't see a way out until at least one of them is in college.
My "the things I really want to finish" backlog right now includes finishing the campaign and dlc for destiny and finding the time and people to do the raids. Far cry 4 is still in the box. I'm maybe 25% through dragon age inquisition. Borderlands THC has me at about the same point in Borlderlands 2 that I had to put it down on the PS3. And so far I've resisted the urge of witcher 3 but damn it's been hard to not buy it.
My goal now is to finish one of these before Fallout 4 comes out in a few months.
Sigh.