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[Ether_Snake]

Alright, let's bring some COMMON FUCKING SENSE HERE:

#1: You took your girlfriend to a middle-of-nowhere-small-town to study.
#2: Once there, you went out to buy subs at Subway.
#3: Your dad jokingly called her a bitch.
#4: You started drinking.

Note: Remember at this point that it's probably getting late, and she's in Middle-of-Nowhere Town with no way to just get the fuck out to her place away from this mess of a night.

#5: You shattered a beer bottle by throwing it at the road after she started telling you outright she wasn't very comfortable in the whole situation.

To make it a bit easier for you to understand, as the night went on, she started seeing a picture of what her future life spent with you would lead to, and she saw this man in her mind:

Basically, you made yourself look like someone who couldn't provide a girl with security, happiness, and respect (re-read the five points). You scared her, you made her scared of the very relationship you have with her, and you scared her of what her future might be like.

Remember, to a woman, life goes by at least twice as fast as it does for you, so they are always thinking about tomorrow more so than you.

EDIT: BTW I'm not criticizing you, I don't know you, but I'm telling you what probably went through her mind.

 

[BladeWorker]

Where I'm coming from is we've had problems in the past, and fixed them. This isn't an issue we've had forever with no solution in sight. I don't see why I can't try and fix it and have a stronger relationship with her because of this.

The alternative is it doesn't work out and I leave here which puts me right where you guys want me to go now.

My own experience is that if she's always angry - snapping, being bitchy, mood swings - there's something going on in her head that she's not communicating to you (or anyone else), and it's entirely possible she doesn't even know what it is yet.

It could be anything, really, and if I were in your place, I hope I'd have the patience to give her space to figure it out.

And whenever you do meet to talk, follow your gut. GAF is right, nobody deserves a relationship where they're snapped at all the time (it's emotional torture), but if you sense this is something that can change, there's probably a good reason you feel that way.

 

[snaildog]

I should stress the part where it's not just me who is being treated like this by her. It's every one. Also this is not her "true self" being revealed as others who have known her, her whole life have noticed the change.

She has recently. As in the last few months become very snappy and mean to every one around her who care about her. Bringing her mother to tears. Losing friends. And making me feel like shit. I'd rather try and figure out what is bothering her and try to help her fix it as this is not some one I want to throw away I would rather help.

Who cares whether it's just you she's doing this to? It makes no difference. She sounds like a horrible person in a lot of ways, you're making a huge mistake by staying with her, and you'll realise this eventually (or settle down and have a really unhappy marriage, one of the two).

 

[JavaMava]

Who cares whether it's just you she's doing this to? It makes no difference. She sounds like a horrible person in a lot of ways, you're making a huge mistake by staying with her, and you'll realise this eventually (or settle down and have a really unhappy marriage, one of the two).

The idea is if it's not just me she's doing this to, it's multiple people then it's reasonable to assume her issue isn't with me but something else. And as it's happening to other people who have known her longer than I have they have the ability to know if this is her usual self or something new. It IS something new. By connecting these very few, close, color coded, numbered dots I've come to the realization this is not her usual self and there's a decent chance I might be able to discover and help her with what is ailing her. Giving us both a great and loving relationship that makes us happy.

 

[layzie1989]

You sound like me with my ex before we broke up. She became a bitch 24/7 and i thought i could help. Turns out that's just who she had become. I have the upmost contempt for her now. Wish I had had the guts to break up with her first.

 

[shanshan310]

I'm a bit torn on this one.
On one hand, she really jerked you around with a lot of things, but then you've overcome most of them. I guess if she's upset and pushing everyone away then perhaps leaving her now would make her feel completely alone - only worsening the problem. I think you should stay with her for now. Try to work though it and help solve whatever problem she may be having. If you really love her you'll stick with her and help her sort it out.
If she doesn't start to improve though, i suggest leaving. It seems like you've put in a lot of effort to hold things together, but maybe that it has been an effort isn't such a great thing.

 

[ChackanKun]

First of all, I didn't read trough the 9 pages of this thread so my apologies if any relevant update as been made.

I'm not swallowing my pride on this one. her mother is extremely controlling. She's 21. Her mother flipped out because I bought her daughter a lock for her door in the past. I'll do things for my girl, but I'm not dating her mother so I'm not going to treat her like I am.

Now..she's 21, not 31. She's a "kid", i think it's kind of normal that her mother get's worried about her when she's 1 hour away from home and alone with her boyfriend.

I took the pillow off his seat to put on mine. He saw she had a pillow on hers and he said "xxxx you took my pillow, you bitch." Like I said it was a bit uncouth, but it definitely fits in his character and not meant maliciously. He would definitly apologize to her if he had known.

Your dad is a jackass. If something like that would happen between my girlfriend and my dad, there would be punching. She is 200% right on this one.

Overall, she didn't overreact your dad thing, and i understand the rest. Just apologize and swallow your pride. Like i said, she's 21, go for pride when she's older.

 

[Inanna]

My own experience is that if she's always angry - snapping, being bitchy, mood swings - there's something going on in her head that she's not communicating to you (or anyone else), and it's entirely possible she doesn't even know what it is yet.

It could be anything, really, and if I were in your place, I hope I'd have the patience to give her space to figure it out.

And whenever you do meet to talk, follow your gut. GAF is right, nobody deserves a relationship where they're snapped at all the time (it's emotional torture), but if you sense this is something that can change, there's probably a good reason you feel that way.

Finally, I'm seeing some sense here. The rest of you cynical bastards need to gtho with your bail out advice. OP said she hasn't always been like that, maybe there's a chance they can fix it. I agree that he shouldn't let her walk all over him, and let him treat like shit, but I think op should try and find out why she's changed.

 

[just tray]

maybe she cares about you so much that there is something that you are doing that she's afraid to speak out about.Take her somewhere romantic and peaceful and you can trick her into revealing how she feels. Be smooth about it.A margarita may seal the deal depending on how she acts when drinking.Just talk about you and her in the future. Don't bring up the past. A woman's memory is far beyond that of a mans.

 

[ChackanKun]

maybe she cares about you so much that there is something that you are doing that she's afraid to speak out about.Take her somewhere romantic and peaceful and you can trick her into revealing how she feels. Be smooth about it.A margarita may seal the deal depending on how she acts when drinking.Just talk about you and her in the future. Don't bring up the past. A woman's memory is far beyond that of a mans.

Isn't one of her problems the OP drinking? I think that alcohol would make things worse.

 

[The Blue Jihad]

Finally, I'm seeing some sense here. The rest of you cynical bastards need to gtho with your bail out advice. OP said she hasn't always been like that, maybe there's a chance they can fix it. I agree that he shouldn't let her walk all over him, and let him treat like shit, but I think op should try and find out why she's changed.

The big reason most of us are telling him to bail out is because it's been months since he made the thread, and almost every single post of his since then has featured some new part of the ongoing drama.

It's a revolving door of issues with this girl. That isn't a healthy relationship, and it sure as hell isn't one worth staying in, let alone all of these ridiculous "well we've got this party, and I'm taking her up to our house, and I've got this planned for her" bullshit.

Don't label us cynics, please. We know what we're talking about. Most of us speak from real, first-hand experience in dealing with girls like this. The drama never stops. It's always something. And nobody but a professional therapist has the skills and tools to deal with it successfully.

If you, or the OP, or anyone thinks they can stay in an abusive relationship--and the OP IS in an abusive relationship--they're delusional. Trying to "wait it out" in abusive relationships just results in you feeling like shit. You have zero energy. All of your time and resources are spent trying to keep your significant other happy but the joke's on you:

The girlfriend will never be happy. Because there will always be something.

 

[Cheshire]

Nothing in life is perfect but we often see our relationships as an escape from all those frustrations; we laugh, sigh with joy and fall back on each other when tired. You can take life by the horns and wake up each day as long as you have that escape. But when that escape itself becomes susceptible to life's imperfections and unfair events, then nothing is right and everything is falling apart. Most people cannot handle the idea of feeling unsure or uncertain about a relationship - they must always feel secure and content.

But a relationship isn't just about intimacy, walking each other home and emotional support - it's also about realising you are still two individuals with unique perspectives to certain things in life. It's clear that she loves you very much and this abundance of passion has spilled over to a passion of worry and anxiety. She is confused and because she has based everything between the two of you on emotion, there is nothing clear anymore.

There is no perfect relationship. You two are partners, lovers but also human beings and you need to learn that both of you feel as strongly about what your points of view. Approach the subject matters with that in mind and try to find a middle ground instead of trying to enforce your view on the other

beautiful and true.

 

[JavaMava]

maybe she cares about you so much that there is something that you are doing that she's afraid to speak out about.Take her somewhere romantic and peaceful and you can trick her into revealing how she feels. Be smooth about it.A margarita may seal the deal depending on how she acts when drinking.Just talk about you and her in the future. Don't bring up the past. A woman's memory is far beyond that of a mans.

Isn't one of her problems the OP drinking? I think that alcohol would make things worse.

She's being more reasonable with drinking when I proved to her it wasn't an issue. She asked me to cut back, I told her I would, she didn't believe me (past males in her life couldn't), and I cut back. She's told how much that meant to her and how she loves I've done that for her.

She's completely fine with having a drink or two with me. After several months of me proving I am not only capable of limiting how much I drink but when under the influence shown I can control my actions, she has now said she wants to see me a bit more drunk when I'm with her so she can see for herself how I behave and be on my side if her mother ever brings it up again.

I'm not going to use that as an excuse to get plastered, but it shows me that she's not a completely illogical person and just needed to see for herself. Her only experience with me being drunk before ended poorly.

So yes I can take her out some where peacful and romantic. Have a drink to loosen her up a bit more and talk.

 

[2 Minutes Turkish]

Java, I've been lurking this thread for some time. Been through the whole thing, and I have an opinion/advice that comes from personal experience with a girl that sounds kind of familiar to yours.

She may have mental issues. I'm not saying that in a facetious way. I'm saying she might ACTUALLY have a mental illness. Like bipolar, maybe she suffers from depression.

The other option is, that she has actually found someone else, and doesn't feel like she can tell ANYONE about it, hence why she is attacking EVERYONE. She feels trapped because she has someone else, wants to be with them, wants to tell people, but she can't.

- If she tells her mum, her mum will probably bust her balls abot cheating and putting her through that over you, just to be with someone else in the end
- She can't tell you for obvious reasons
- It sounds like her friends and co-workers like you, so she can't tell them either for fear they will chastise her and probably tell YOU.

So right now, she feels trapped as all fuck, and is taking it out on the people making her feel trapped....EVERYONE.

It really does sound to me like you need to get out to be honest. As great as she MAY have been. It's pretty clear she's not that person anymore, or not that person to YOU anyway.

I can assure you from personal experience, that a girl who is cheating, will only act like their 'former self' for the person they're cheating with. To their current partner, they will be a COMPLETELY different person.

You can choose not to believe me, but I can tell you, unless she's mentally ill, she's cheating on you.

 

[JavaMava]

Java, I've been lurking this thread for some time. Been through the whole thing, and I have an opinion/advice that comes from personal experience with a girl that sounds kind of familiar to yours.

She may have mental issues. I'm not saying that in a facetious way. I'm saying she might ACTUALLY have a mental illness. Like bipolar, maybe she suffers from depression.

The other option is, that she has actually found someone else, and doesn't feel like she can tell ANYONE about it, hence why she is attacking EVERYONE. She feels trapped because she has someone else, wants to be with them, wants to tell people, but she can't.

- If she tells her mum, her mum will probably bust her balls abot cheating and putting her through that over you, just to be with someone else in the end
- She can't tell you for obvious reasons
- It sounds like her friends and co-workers like you, so she can't tell them either for fear they will chastise her and probably tell YOU.

So right now, she feels trapped as all fuck, and is taking it out on the people making her feel trapped....EVERYONE.

It really does sound to me like you need to get out to be honest. As great as she MAY have been. It's pretty clear she's not that person anymore, or not that person to YOU anyway.

I can assure you from personal experience, that a girl who is cheating, will only act like their 'former self' for the person they're cheating with. To their current partner, they will be a COMPLETELY different person.

You can choose not to believe me, but I can tell you, unless she's mentally ill, she's cheating on you.

She suffers from depression, talks to a therapist.

 

[JavaMava]

Here is an update.
After giving her some space, no contact for 2, 3 days I get 3 texts. The first simply "I love you" the second about an hour later "Baby?" then third an hour after that "Why won't you answer me?...". All these texts were delayed and showed up at the same time. I texted her back letting her know.

later on msn she logs on and says she feels like I don't want her. I ask why, and she tells me she's gets that feeling from me. (I don't usually go several days without contact with her). I tell her that is not the case, but I don't appreciate the way she's been talking to me recently. She doesn't respond and then after a while she says she's going to go and logs off.

I call her up and leave her a message letting her know that I'm going out of town tomorrow night to visit my mum and I won't be back until Friday. She logs on msn and says she feels like she's going to lose me. I again tell her that isn't the case. I explain to her I understand she gets flustered and frustrated easily, but it's not fair to snap at me because of that. She agrees. I tell her I need her to try and work on that. That if I tell her I don't like how I'm being spoken to it's a sign she needs to sit down and cool off. She says she will do this.

She then goes on about how much she loves me, and how she doesn't want to lose me and that she is really sorry that she has treated me poorly. I let her know I love her madly and that's why I'm willing to try and work on any of our problems instead of leaving like I would if it were some one else.

She's taking me to see a movie this Friday night.

 

[ShadyMilkman]

Here is an update.
After giving her some space, no contact for 2, 3 days I get 3 texts. The first simply "I love you" the second about an hour later "Baby?" then third an hour after that "Why won't you answer me?...". All these texts were delayed and showed up at the same time. I texted her back letting her know.

later on msn she logs on and says she feels like I don't want her. I ask why, and she tells me she's gets that feeling from me. (I don't usually go several days without contact with her). I tell her that is not the case, but I don't appreciate the way she's been talking to me recently. She doesn't respond and then after a while she says she's going to go and logs off.

I call her up and leave her a message letting her know that I'm going out of town tomorrow night to visit my mum and I won't be back until Friday. She logs on msn and says she feels like she's going to lose me. I again tell her that isn't the case. I explain to her I understand she gets flustered and frustrated easily, but it's not fair to snap at me because of that. She agrees. I tell her I need her to try and work on that. That if I tell her I don't like how I'm being spoken to it's a sign she needs to sit down and cool off. She says she will do this.

She then goes on about how much she loves me, and how she doesn't want to lose me and that she is really sorry that she has treated me poorly. I let her know I love her madly and that's why I'm willing to try and work on any of our problems instead of leaving like I would if it were some one else.

She's taking me to see a movie this Friday night.

 

[soultron]

Good work, Java. Now to see if she holds true to her word.

 

[BladeWorker]

If you, or the OP, or anyone thinks they can stay in an abusive relationship--and the OP IS in an abusive relationship--they're delusional. Trying to "wait it out" in abusive relationships just results in you feeling like shit. You have zero energy. All of your time and resources are spent trying to keep your significant other happy but the joke's on you.

Well, I would agree that abusive relationships are bad, and not worth the energy. But I also like to think that there's hope for just about everyone.

If someone who's being abused (emotionally, verbally, physically...) leaves the relationship, and the abuser takes that space, gets help, and modifies their behaviour, and can consistently demonstrate said reformed behaviour, I'd say it's possible (albeit probably not likely) to rebuild and become stronger.

 

[JavaMava]

I've been looking at it a while and I don't get the shovel picture response.

 

[soultron]

I've been looking at it a while and I don't get the shovel picture response.

"Digging yourself deeper into the hole" is the joke.

 

[C.Dark.DN]

3 months ago you had problems
in 3 months you'll still have problems

if you come to an agreement and make an update in a few months about some new problem, people will laugh at you

if you make a final break up update, people will say I told you so and say you should have been over her by now

 

[JavaMava]

3 months ago you had problems
in 3 months you'll still have problems

if you come to an agreement and make an update in a few months about some new problem, people will laugh at you

if you make a final break up update, people will say I told you so and say you should have been over her by now

You make it sounds like couples never argue. That if you have an issue, then later on you have another separate issue it's a horrible problem. My grandparents were happily married for over 50 years and I can tell you there were definitely times when they weren't in agreement.

If you can solve them you move on, if not you break up. So far we've been doing okay on solving them.

 

[snaildog]

Finally, I'm seeing some sense here. The rest of you cynical bastards need to gtho with your bail out advice. OP said she hasn't always been like that, maybe there's a chance they can fix it. I agree that he shouldn't let her walk all over him, and let him treat like shit, but I think op should try and find out why she's changed.

I'm guessing that you're either a girl or an inexperienced guy. I've seen this situation played out so many times, with myself and friends, and it ALWAYS ends the same way. I don't think I'm a cynical bastard, but if the guy wants realistic advice, that's what he's going to get.

If they end up sorting things out and live happily ever after, I will happily come back and admit that I'm wrong.

 

[Ether_Snake]

I think at this point it should not longer be a question of "who is wrong" but "I am pretty sure that this isn't how a good relationship is supposed to go so I think we should both part ways and find better".

Really. You live and learn.

 

[JavaMava]

So the relationship has been going pretty smooth after the talk. Right up until this last week it's actually been going incredible. We've both been really happy. An issue pop'ed up but I think we go it under control.

She had me hold her cell phone a week back, no pockets. While seperated I took a funny/dorky picture of myself to upload onto her cell phone wallpaper image. While picking the image I noticed some she had pictures of her ex internet girlfriend on her cell phone dated 2 months back. One was a nude. I ignored it until this week.

5 days together only one day involved sex. The rest were her kind of snapping at me and going back to being a bitch. While in bed I guess she noticed something off and that's when I told her. "You're going back to treating me like shit. I'm not happy. I think you still have feelings for this Jersey girl, I found naked pictures of her on your phone." I'm not happy with the relationship. I feel like I'm not loved. I can't ask you to love you more than you do, but if you're not in love I'm through. She cried. Told me that I was right. I need to let her know when she's being a bitch. That she can change.

I told her I'm not convinced and I need action not words. Small things. Texting me for no reason, surprise visits, inviting me over(I'm the one who makes plans), cuddling without the expectation of sex from her or my part, ect.

I've had other relationships, but this is the first one where I've fallen in love with the girl. I've found I really like being in love, but I know there are many other girls out there who I can love and will love me back if she doesn't work on these issues.

 

[wRATH2x]

I give you guys 2 weeks tops.

 

[shanshan310]

wow. I was just thinking about this thread and it popped back up!

You know what, despite how much she's put you through, and despite most of gaf telling you to just leave, i think you guys are gonna make it. You've been so much together, and each time problems have arrisen you've worked through it. You said you love her, and if you really do then i'm sure you'll work through this too. Its not the worst thing thats happened, and besides, no relationship is perfect.

EDIT: i have been pondering this for a long time Javamava, but i still have no idea whats happening in your avatar... at first i thought it was a half man half tree but now it kinda looks like he's being pulled beneath rainroad tracks. What is it?

 

[Tntnnbltn]

I give you guys 2 weeks tops.

I give them 2 weeks followed by 5 weeks followed by 3 weeks followed by six days followed by...

 

[ruxtpin]

Alright. First post to this thread... Hoping some outside guys/girls might give me some insight, as I've already discussed the situation with a couple of my exes and friends.

---

This girl I met on an online dating site and I had been dating for about 2-3 months. Things started out and everything was peachy. We planned things, went out and did stuff together, and, generally, I got the feeling that she was crazy about spending time with me (she'd sent me text messages, come see me at work, and inbetween classes.) I was in the process of getting my own place, so I'd go up and spend most of time at her apartment. She'd cook for me - which drives me wild - since I love to eat (I'm an active young man.) =P Eventually, we ended up sleeping together, which we both found to be amazing. We had a scare, where she thought her birth control might not have worked, but I told her whatever happend - that I'd be there for her, no matter what she chose to do. I just tried to be as supportive as I could.

It wasn't too long after we started sleeping together that I finished moving into my new apartment, and I thought that would make spending time together with her easier (as she could stay the night, etc.) You gotta' understand that I work ALL weekend - back-to-back 16 hour shifts - and attend uni full-time during the week, so we had to make the best of the time that was given to us (and we didn't exactly live close by - opposite sides of Atlanta.)

She occasionally goes away for the weekend to see her parents down south, and it was during the first trip that she did this that something changed. She stopped texting me on a regular basis, getting her to commit to a date/meeting was nigh impossible, and when we were together she'd barely act like I was there. One evening I confront her about this and ask her what's up; she eventually spills that she hates her job, hates where she lives, misses her family, is in debt, etc. - just hates where she's at in her life. I tell her I'm going to be there for her, and that while I can't change any of that stuff, I just want to do my best to make her happy and be a part of her life that's actually one of the high points.

Fast-forward a few weeks, and I'm still getting the same treatment. We're now arguing over stupid bullshit. Calling me her boyfriend should only apply to me onyl in the loosest sense at this point. It's almost impossible to get her to do anything with me, so I suggest that maybe we should just end it (which is tearing me up inside, because I really care about this girl and wanted this relationship to work.) She gets upset that I'm not fighting for what we have, so I tell her what I want out of the relationship. I tell her I want a girlfriend that wants me around, that actually responds when I let her know I care about her, and miss her, and tell her I love her (she actually said the "L" word to me first, and I had no problem saying it in return, because I do - I love this girl - and I haven't said this to a nonfamily member in about 10 years.)

And what do I get? Nothing. She won't tell/show me she wants me. She won't tell/show me she misses me. Everything she does says to me she doesn't want this to work between us. Somehow, it's all my fault it seems. Maybe I'm being a pussy, but when I'm in a new relationship with a girl - I want to know, verbally or through your actions, that I'm wanted, otherwise - there's no point.

I do my best to show her I that I want things to work. She calls me up at 5am in the morning one time, tells me she wants me to come over. I drive an hour to see her, through rushhour traffic, half asleep, risking my own safety - so that I can be with her... And what does she do? She sleeps, but won't even get near me. She says she needs her pillow to be comfortable. WTF? And I did the same thing a day later, and got the same response again.

I decide to give her some space, since we're officially not "together" anymore. She tells me she wants to "work" on things though, and do things together like we used to do. Alright. Cool with me. 2-3 weeks go by where I try to arrange something where we can together and spend some time with each. Nothing. She never wants too. Too tired. Too busy. Or just flakes out.

I finally get fed up. I tell her we should just stop seeing each other. I'm emotionally exhausted from trying to get a girl I'm crazy about, to feel anything remotely similar to the way she felt about me when we first started dating. It's foolish of me to think that I can make her want me by my actions and words.

---

Wall o' text - I know, but if you made it through all this and have any ideas or suggestions. Thanks.

 

[JavaMava]

/snip

My advice may not be the best, but at least you know where I'm coming from.

Does she admit to her actions? When you bring it up does she say "Yes I have/can be like that" or deny it and try to lay blame on you? With my girl, when I mention it, she admits to it. Apologizes profusely and tells me she'll work on it and she needs me to remind her when she's doing it. It makes me feel like although there is an issue, we both acknowledge it and thus are willing to try a fix it.

If that's the case stay with her. But show her you love her. You can't just tell some one you love them over and over. You need small actions to show it. Don't ask to go over. Surprise her one day with flowers. Don't expect to stay overnight or even long. Just give her a kiss the flowers, stand at the door with a quick convo and if she invites you in, go for it, if not say good night. Bring her lunch one day at work, or if the environment is right take her out to lunch for work.

Little things that aren't large time commitments that are a surprise seem to work well. It's gives them that little boost of happy that can last the day or night and they don't feel like they need to commit a night to some one if they're not in the right mood.

If she doesn't see any issue with her actions, pull away yourself. She'll notice the removal of your attention and realize how much of the relationship was you making the initiative. She'll either make a bigger effort at showing affection towards you, or maybe she's not interested and you two will drift apart. : (

 

[BronzeWolf]

The thing is that you can't really "fix" her right now.

Basically, she is responsible of her own actions and if a bad job, family problems and debt are enough to stop treating you with respect, you should look somewhere else. It's not the issues that she is facing the ones that are straining your relationship, her own decisions are.

Many guys and girls get by in shitty times without compromising their mutual love and respect, and you don't have an ounce of responsibility on what she is living right now, and as such, you shouldn't be on the receiving end of it. It's irrational to think otherwise

What can you do to help it? I would have suggested to be a little bit more sensible and giving, but it seems you already have given her a lot to be appreciated, without being recognized or rewarded. I say, try ONE LAST TIME, give yourself a time frame, one week, if she doesn't respond back after clear warnings and displays of affection, it's time to let it go.

I'm sorry to say this, but the issues you are having are nothing but of her own making, and she must sort them out before considering dating with you again.

 

[JavaMava]

So you know when your aware of your girlfriends past relationships, and you're totally okay with that. But then over the course of a month you find out she's slept with a quite a few more guys who "don't count" cause she didn't date them for more than a week?

Yeah that sucks.

You know what also sucks? Going out to a party, meeting these guys, see them be flirtatious with your girlfriend and her being completely receptive only to go home that night and find out they used to fuck.

Yeah that's awkward and sucks.

Kind of regretting not using a condom right now.