Support NeoGAF

[Late Flag]

If you've only been dating for eight weeks (going by the math), then both of the following statements are true:

1. You and she don't know each other well enough for her to take your advice seriously. I wouldn't if I were her. That's not a knock against you personally. If I'm her, I'm going to be listening to my family and close friends, not the guy I just started dating eight weeks ago.

2. You're not tied down with her and can cut your losses very easily.

The chorus of posters who are telling you to run are giving you top-shelf advice, and you should take it.

 

[Morts]

Read the op, she did in the brief window between her ex and meeting the op.



She's 9 weeks pregnant and they've dated for 2 months. Do the fucking math.

You guys are awful.



Again.
What is with this thread....

I read the OP, the timeline was communicated poorly. It's hard to do the math when all we get is vague phrases like "a couple months". Calm down.

 

[SocksAndShoes]

Maybe not but it's a trend here on gaf.

Hmmm, I must have missed the "Let's sterilize poor people" threads then...

 

[TheMAK]

Push her down the stairs...



/j

 

[wenis]

Run hard and fast. Don't look back. Not your problem.

 

[Valhelm]

Shit lets just sterilize all the poor people. We're helping save you from the shit live you might give your poor children! It's for your own good!

Fuck off. Children born into poverty have lives that are statistically less happy, healthy, and fulfilling. If couples in poverty want to have children, that's their choice, but dooming a child to a life of poverty is horribly cruel.

 

[xxracerxx]

Push her down the stairs...



/j

Hilarious.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

If you feel like abortion is the road and she doesn't I would stay far away. She has 1 and is going to have another. If you dont wanna be a dad this girl isnt the one you should be taking a chance with.

 

[KingGondo]

I'm an empathetic person, but you should bail OP.

The kid isn't yours. Her family situation sounds terrible. You don't have that much of a connection to her, and things are going to get extremely messy... messier than they already are.

By all means: be there for her as a friend for emotional support, but DO NOT get entangled in a relationship.

 

[The Albatross]

OP, you're not the father so I don't really think you should be educating her or getting her to see one way or another. It's her choice. Part of being pro-choice is also accepting if a woman chooses to go through with pregnancy and keep her child.

Personally, if I were you, I'd break it off with her. Plus, you might not know her that well if you think she's a relationship type and already has a 1-year-old with custody issues and is now pregnant again, while dating you.

 

[Agnostic]

OP has crossed the event horizon and will not be able to escape. Congrats on the sex and having your own child with her in about 2 years.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

I've been seeing this girl a couple month's now

She's pregnant; 9 weeks, Not mine.

Sit down. Relax. Breathe.

You do NOT want all that drama.

Find someone who has their shit together.

 

[Skellig Gra]

GTFO as quickly as possible. It is the only solution.

 

[sirap]

Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of feeling obligated to take care of her. You're not, no matter how cruel it may seem. A kid isn't something to make light of; even if it isn't yours, having one in your life can seriously change your life.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

/j

I was like "that was dumb" but I think it's cool now because you put a slash j there.

 

[davepoobond]

i can understand why she wouldn't, since she already has a baby by the same guy, but here's the thing for you:

you're going to be on the hook for all of it and the father is going to hook up with her again down the road (since his alcoholism isn't enough for her to sever all ties) whether you are in a relationship with her or not, or she'll leave you for him despite it being a terrible idea

if she was rationally thinking about the whole situation she would be excising him from her life as soon as they split. she didn't do that, so she won't do that, and she's hoping you're going to put up with all of this and share the responsibility that you have no part in.

apparently they didn't do any birth control, to boot. so i'd be angry about that, personally.

 

[Kyzer]

I consider myself at least mildly intelligent, and thanks to GAF and YouTube I feel I have a solid understanding for most things in the world even if I'll never experience them intimately. .

Nooooooooooooo

Its her life her choice like you said, but you dont have to be with her if you don't want to.

 

[Irobot82]

Fuck off. Children born into poverty have lives that are statistically less happy, healthy, and fulfilling. If couples in poverty want to have children, that's their choice, but dooming a child to a life of poverty is horribly cruel.

Go fuck yourself. My family was dirt poor growing up. Get the fuck out with your death to poor people shit.

 

[Producer]

You've been dating less than a year and she's pregnant with a second baby (thats not yours)

Pack it up while there's still time

 

[The Albatross]

Fuck off. Children born into poverty have lives that are statistically less happy, healthy, and fulfilling. If couples in poverty want to have children, that's their choice, but dooming a child to a life of poverty is horribly cruel.

So economically disadvantaged people who choose to have children are "horribly cruel" to their children?

The fuck is wrong with you?

 

[NoFaceNico]

Don't worry about the kid, that's not your problem, that's her problem (and the co-worker), don't let her dump that on you.

Your bigger issue is that she's unfaithful and your feelings for her obviously don't match her feelings for you because people who care about each other don't do that kind of shit.

Seriously.

[She's] a real sweetheart but in typical southern fashion has put her heart in the wrong place and been hurt

WTF???!?!

It's her choice, her life, and I'll respect whatever she chooses.

Great. Let us know if she ever decides to respect you.

 

[DeaconKnowledge]

Forget her. Leave.

 

[Valhelm]

Go fuck yourself. My family was dirt poor growing up. Get the fuck out with your death to poor people shit.

I'm not wishing death to anybody. Nobody in this thread is doing that. What we're saying is that children who grow up dirt poor quite often die dirt poor, and are more likely to die dirt poor if they have more siblings.

This is exactly why family planning is really fucking important.

 

[Vooduu]

Run.

Many fish in the sea.

 

[commedieu]

What's the point of living if you don't have love. stick with it man!

What if her baby grows up to be winston Churchill?

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Go fuck yourself. My family was dirt poor growing up. Get the fuck out with your death to poor people shit.

Yea.... What the fuck is this notion that kids are doomed to a horrible life if their parents struggle growing up. wtf.

I know ALOT of people that came from dirt poor shit. Namely my father. I guess he should have been aborted? Guess what, he strived and did what he had to do and ended up making good money and NOT being poor when he had kids of his own.

 

[ApharmdX]

We started dating right after; Its not an open relationship, she's 9 weeks and its why she's been sick.
The guy said he'd support it (or he's saying so now at least) but it's hard to think their relationship will work off nothing at all.

Ok, that makes sense. But you broke up with her? I'm still confused. Are you trying to understand why she won't have an abortion?

I'm a man, but I've been with women who have had abortions (once my kid, presumably). And I've been with a woman who refused to have one. You have to understand, it's not logic-driven, at all. Woman often feel a deep connection to a fetus that they carry. For us men it's abstract. For them, it's their entire world in a way that to me seems impossible for us to understand.

 

[Not Spaceghost]

She didn't tell you she was pregnant until now? You guys have been together for at least 2 months then.

Well first of all you're not the father, so you can give advice but you can't be over baring about an abortion because it's got literally nothing to do with you on that level. You're still the new guy.

My suggestion would be to just dip unless you're really interested in raising kids with a woman who you just met and they're not even yours.

She sounds like she leads a very unstable life, I think you should consider the effect that could have on you.

 

[RockTurtle]

Fuck off. Children born into poverty have lives that are statistically less happy, healthy, and fulfilling. If couples in poverty want to have children, that's their choice, but dooming a child to a life of poverty is horribly cruel.

i came from a third world country with a single mother and we lived in dirt poor conditions.

we were still happy most of the time and made due and are doing well now :/ things can change even for well-off people.

 

[GhostWriter24]

Move on.

If not, that's incredibly noble of you, but prepare to face some extreme hardships. Good luck.

 

[Drencrom]

She's your ex-gf and you've only known her for 9 weeks. Bail and let her have her child if she wants to.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

What's the point of living if you don't have love. stick with it man!

What if her baby grows up to be winston Churchill?

Why you saying that? LMAO.

You know the real answer:

 

[mullet2000]

Op, you've been with this girl for mere months, she's pregnant with her second with a kid that isn't yours, and your immediate reaction isn't to just cut your losses and leave? I'm honestly curious why you'd even consider staying. Do you have trouble finding women to date usually? Severe guilt? Any other issues?

Also, you should know your mother's regret of her abortion is not common. There was a recent study that showed 90%+ of women who get one do not regret it.

 

[entremet]

Dude.

They were red flags all over this chick.

-Out of wedlock single mom.
-Poor and can't make ends meet.
-Can't think into the future long enough to know that unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy, which she can't afford.
-Poor judge of character based on the father of her kids she's chosen. If kids are starving, and they are if she can't make rent, it shows she chose a terrible dude.

Bad news bears, bro.

There are tons of single chicks without baggage out there that want to date. Stop trying to save this girl.

 

[kinggroin]

Fuck off. Children born into poverty have lives that are statistically less happy, healthy, and fulfilling. If couples in poverty want to have children, that's their choice, but dooming a child to a life of poverty is horribly cruel.

There's no doomed fucking guarantee my man. If poor folk want kids, then they'll have them and HOPEFULLY will find a way to raise out of their financial situation.

I was born into a horrible neighborhood, initially only raised by my mother making shit pay. She got hitched with a very hard working man and we very slowly moved onwards and upwards. She sacrificed a lot of her own comfort to make my sister and I happy, and its paid off dividends to her and us.

 

[Revolutionary]

Bail. Too many red flags.

 

[Afrocious]

OP, you do you, but I implore you sincerely think about whether or not you want to stay with this woman, and if you do, if she'll be able to take care of two children or if you can take care of two children.

There's nothing wrong with dating a mother. Shame on those who think otherwise.

Stop trying to save this girl.

This is important. The moment you begin to see yourself as some kind of hero, that's when shit hits the fan.

 

[Mossybrew]

OP needs to pack up and run for the hills ASAP.

 

[TheMAK]

Time to grab one of those

 

[Hazmat]

She's your ex-gf and you've only known her for 9 weeks. Bail and let her have her child if she wants to.

This. Just be glad the kid isn't yours. She has problems, but they're her problems.

 

[UFO]

She's not your wife, it's not your kid, you have literally ZERO input on this. Support whatever her choice is.

 

[KingGondo]

What's the point of living if you don't have love. stick with it man!

What if her baby grows up to be winston Churchill?

Relevant question: is the father a member of English aristocracy?

If the answer is no, I have some bad news about the Churchill dream.

 

[HeySeuss]

Huh. I didn't know the dirty poor's weren't allowed to have kids. I guess I'm glad I was born into a middle class family. Because otherwise I would've been a waste of ejaculate and a complete drain on society.

Prolly would've been strung out on smack and killed people in the subway for touching my shopping cart I stole from the dollar tree.

 

[Amentallica]

God your options suck!
If that was the case I and my 5 brothers would have been all adopted or aborted?
I grew up poor as hell, and we all have outstanding careers now, sure it was hard for my mom and dad but she did her best and loved us, and now we are all fine.

You wouldn't have known any different since you would have never been born.

This guy is only two months into dating this woman who is bearing another man's child. He has no obligation. This relationship is premature. He should just leave if this is too much. The option to abort or adopt is her problem.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

Push her down the stairs...

Time to grab one of those

You got about 2 more minutes left for open mic night. Make 'em count.

 

[ApharmdX]

She's not your wife, it's not your kid, you have literally ZERO input on this. Support whatever her choice is.

Support it from a safe distance, maybe. OP has no reason to stay in this situation. It will be a hard one, almost 100% guaranteed.

 

[Mauricio_Magus]

Bail out, now.

 

[StoopKid]

Abandon ship immediately. Get the hell out and don't look back.

.

Cheated on you and prego.

 

[davepoobond]

I'm not wishing death to anybody. Nobody in this thread is doing that. What we're saying is that children who grow up dirt poor quite often die dirt poor, and are more likely to die dirt poor if they have more siblings.

This is exactly why family planning is really fucking important.

only rich people should have children, we need to stop the breeding of the proletariats

Huh. I didn't know the dirty poor's weren't allowed to have kids. I guess I'm glad I was born into a middle class family. Because otherwise I would've been a waste of ejaculate and a complete drain on society.

Prolly would've been strung out on smack and killed people in the subway for touching my shopping cart I stole from the dollar tree.

everyone knows its not worth being born if you're poor!

 

[TylerD]

God your options suck!
If that was the case I and my 5 brothers would have been all adopted or aborted?
I grew up poor as hell, and we all have outstanding careers now, sure it was hard for my mom and dad but she did her best and loved us, and now we are all fine.

Don't you mean "Give the kid a chance " ?