• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

GF's friend doesn't like me

Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

This is no longer something you can ignore.
 
Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...
Naaaaah, red flags all up in here. Are you sure her friends' views aren't also her views, except she's more hesitant to voice them as hers? Because that's crazy.
 
Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

Bro walk out the door now.
 
Yeah sorry OP. As long as that girl is your GF's friend she will always mess with your relationship. Your GF needs to tell her friend that she needs to accept that she picked you as her BF and stand down with the judgement.

If not, this won't be the last time. Imagine you are away for a week and she's hanging out with her friend every day - her friend is gonna suggest they go out clubbing with some dudes, and of course her intentions will not be to make sure your GF stays sober.
 
Tell your GF about your feelings, and how you aren't hostile to the friend, but the friend's behavior is something you want to avoid.
 
Yeah, suggest to your GF that she spend less time with her friend. Ultimately it is her choice, but if she is asking you for support to "snap her out if it" you can suggest this.

But it is troubling that your GF would allow her friend to be such an immature influence. Your a freaking doctor and on GAF, you are a godammned catch!!!
 
Ignore her.

Or tell your GF to check her on that disrespect. The fact you haven't mentioned that she has done exactly that is a red flag.
 
My first serious relationship's best friend/roommate didn't like me, she tried to put me down when talking to my ex. And later I found out she tried to ruin my exes next relationship after me too, that's when when my ex realized she was fucking crazy lol. But yeah if your girlfriends friend's reasons for not liking you are fucking stupid then just ignore her focus on your girl.
 
I would say just ignore the friend. If your GF is dumb enough to be influenced by her friend, then it is her problem. Smart people can easily see past the material things, and you want a smart partner always. You have a great career already OP, be confident.

Also, how do you know these things? Does your GF tell what her friend parrots? Tell her to stop talking about someone so undesirable.
 
Your Entertainer said:
I'm worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to "make the effort" to come over to my place, and that she wouldn't spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She's usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

RedFlags.jpg


Has your GF ever told her friend to shut up about disrespecting you? Has her friend said anything disrespectful to you when she is around and she did nothing?
 
If she says things like that around you, call her out on them. Really - do not just sit there and take it. Rejoinder.

Or at the very least, effect disdain.
 
Once you out of debt and full on doctor on full salary you'll probably make more than whoever's spoiling her. That and you'll have a better moral set too not using hat to flaunt your superficiality. Fuck her. You and your gf are doing awesome.
 
She sounds terribly materialistic and selfish. As long as your girlfriend doesn't get swayed, it shouldn't matter.

Perhaps she is just jealous and worried about herself and is overcompensating. Deep down she probably knows her fling is just that while you are settled with her friend and a great career.
 
ShyMel said:
I would talk to your girlfriend about her because her actions you told us about are rude and seem to be overstepping. Also, if I was your girlfriend, I really would not want to hang around another woman like that.
Click to expand...

This is how I feel. I would be pissed if my boyfriend was hanging with a friend that was actively trying to get him to hook up with other chicks. What the fuck?

And if I had a friend who was shit talking my serious boyfriend for superficial reasons? And throwing guys at me constantly? UM, BYE. It's disrespectful as fuck to everyone.

Edit:

Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

I don't care what anyone says. Humans are social creatures and we learn from each other. The people you hang around will rub off on you.
 
norm9 said:
Stealth brag.
Click to expand...

OP just admitted to being short.

My s/o has a friend who at times has disapproved at me. Meanwhile this friend is beginning to settle for someone more than 20 years her senior... (she's of the belief that men are only valuable for their money, apparently) Did slightly affect my s/o's behavior in rare occasions. They've grown more distant as the irrational behavior of friend at times was more evident. Also helps that they live very far apart from each other now.
 
My GF and her other friends have absolutely called the girl out on her hating. Reading what I've described, my GF's recent behavior isn't quite as shitty as it comes across but there's definitely was an influence, at least in that one instance. She caught it though, and was adamant about not falling for it. It sounds like they're all starting to come to terms with how ridiculous she's being.
 
She sounds like a piece of shit you shouldn't care about. Who gives a shit if someone like that likes you? It sounds like you don't like her which is really the correct answer for someone like that.
 
I would tell your GF's friend to get fucked. She sounds completely awful. I know that's not helpful advice, but her behavior would make my anger boil over and the result would not be pretty.
 
I honestly don't understand how you can have a friend who is trying to get you with someone when they know perfectly well you're in a relationship. OP that friend of your GF is a crappy person and you should tell you GF why they're still friends.
 
Your Entertainer said:
My GF and her other friends have absolutely called the girl out on her hating. Reading what I've described, my GF's recent behavior isn't quite as shitty as it comes across but there's definitely an influence, at least in that one instance. She caught it though, and was adamant about not falling for it.
Click to expand...

Honestly, if her friend continues this behavior AFTER she's been told not to and your GF isn't taking steps to distance herself, you have a big problem here. Loyalty only goes so far and if her friend doesn't respect your GF (which is clearly the case), they shouldn't be friends, period.
 
Your Entertainer said:
My GF and her other friends have absolutely called the girl out on her hating. Reading what I've described, my GF's recent behavior isn't quite as shitty as it comes across but there's definitely an influence, at least in that one instance. She caught it though, and was adamant about not falling for it.
Click to expand...

My wife has nearly ended friendships over a small hint of being disrespectful. And she would expect the same from me. If you want to be with a women long term, I would hope you would look for a similar quality in a woman towards you and vice versa.
 
This doesn't sound like ur gf's friend dislikes u
This sounds like she is actively trying to sabotage ur relationship
 
Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

I was going to say something different, but now that I saw this, it's a giant red flag. You need to have a pretty direct 1-on-1 talk with your GF about this. The fact that she wants you to "snap her out of it" is a good sign that she regrets what she did, but you need to have a very real discussion about her friend. All of the things you said above spells out some pretty bad juju that you'll need to deal with ASAP if you want to continue your relationship with your GF.
 
Your Entertainer said:
How should I handle this situation? Should I be concerned? I'm just worried as she has my GF's ear all the time being one of her closest friends; she also has occasionally tried introducing other guys to my GF. Apparently, she talks about this to my GF constantly, criticizing her for exerting any effort whatsoever. This came as a shock to me. All of her other friends/classmates love me. My GF and I split things very well, talk about things like adults, and have a great relationship. And yes I treat her like a queen. I don't want to criticize my GF's friend in front of her too harshly, nor try to tell her who she should and shouldn't be hanging out with.
Click to expand...

OP, you need to properly adjust your concern over her friend's opinions of you to be more in line with your girlfriend's. If this is something that the friend harps on all the time, does your girlfriend speak about this type of discussion with derision, as a burden she almost vents about, or is it something that comes up in conversation as something she agrees with and is mentioning to you at all because these are maybe good suggestions for you to consider because she trusts her friend's judgment?

Your long term relationship is a threat to her friend because you're going to eat up all of her time that would have gotten eaten up by their bullshit. It's lost on her that the 30-year-old extra and any number of people could fill this void, but I'm guessing your really amazing girl that you love spending time with actually is the real deal. Insecure people can't really hack this continuing dynamic as they get older and they have to cope with losing that disposable free time with our friends as other goals take priority.

What you need to do is just make sure you don't get sucked into that trap. Do not worry about her friends. Focus on her, and what makes her happy. It's not always money, and you'd know if it was. That clingy shit gets old quick and if you think I'm wrong, pay attention to how your girlfriend talks about this friend. Are they the kind of friend that they want to vent about, or the kind they want to celebrate?

Best of luck, OP.
 
Your Entertainer said:
Has anybody ever had any experience with a SOs close friend disliking you?

I'm in a fantastic, long-term serious relationship with my GF. However, one of her close friends does not like me. The friend's much younger than everybody else. I got a cold vibe from her while in person initially, and my suspicions were confirmed after talking to my GF recently. To put it simply, her reasons are superficial (imo of course). I'm not tall enough (guys must be 6'2 or taller according to her, she's like 5'3" btw). I'm also not rich enough. The other day, while my gf was with her, she was hanging out with a mid 30s professional athlete who was driving them around around in his exotic car and bought her a $700 necklace while out. She told my gf "see, this is what a REAL man does!". Apparently, me being a resident physician (but 100k+ in debt and making a resident's salary) isn't enough, and I need to be spending "nearly every penny I have" spoiling my GF. LOL.

How should I handle this situation? Should I be concerned? I'm just worried as she has my GF's ear all the time being one of her closest friends; she also has occasionally tried introducing other guys to my GF. Apparently, she talks about this to my GF constantly, criticizing her for exerting any effort whatsoever. This came as a shock to me. All of her other friends/classmates love me. My GF and I split things very well, talk about things like adults, and have a great relationship. And yes I treat her like a queen. I don't want to criticize my GF's friend in front of her too harshly, nor try to tell her who she should and shouldn't be hanging out with.
Click to expand...

Your girlfriend's friend is a hoodrat.

Ignore her.
 
Your Entertainer said:
My GF and her other friends have absolutely called the girl out on her hating. Reading what I've described, my GF's recent behavior isn't quite as shitty as it comes across but there's definitely an influence, at least in that one instance. She caught it though, and was adamant about not falling for it.
Click to expand...

I would be a little unsettled. I'd be pretty interested in why these two are even friends. I'd definitely be on high alert for future "instances". But if you really care about her and she cares about you, I guess I'd stick with her and see.

On the other hand, I feel like I'd have zero time for the friend and if there were future encounters, I feel like it's on the GF to nip disrespect, ESPECIALLY if you're in the room, in the bud. Frankly, I feel like GF should have a heart to heart with her saying look, I pick who I'm with, not you. You don't have a say. This guy is important to me. Be supportive or GTFO.
 
Your Entertainer said:
I'm worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to "make the effort" to come over to my place, and that she wouldn't spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She's usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

edit: hit submit on accident

The friend is a problem. Try to see what you can do, that you're willing, to have this friend be cool with you. As long as she has your GF's ear and is saying negative shit, and your gf isn't stopping it, it won't get better.
 
Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...

Oh wow. Red flags all over. Get away ASAP IMO.
 
Hot take..

If your girlfriend values the opinion of someone as horrible as you paint, you really need to reevaluate your girl.

/hot take
 
challenge her to a one on one boxing match. If you win, you get to keep the girlfriend. If you lose, then your girlfriend goes out with her friend.
 
Ignore her. I'm friends with just about all of my wife's friends except oddly one of her friends randomly didn't like me when we first started dating. I didn't notice and didn't care but a year or so into being with my wife, then gf, she was mad at her friend for flaking and made a comment about how she doesn't even want to be friends with her because she doesn't like me, and I was like '... Really? Why?'

I was always just polite to her, but kept my distance, and... As the years went on, this girl was basically out of the picture and doesn't really hang out with my wife or her friends anymore.

She also had a stealing problem, which I had privileged information about and knew about but never said anything. So she may have known that I knew... But w/e
 
Your Entertainer said:
My GF and her other friends have absolutely called the girl out on her hating. Reading what I've described, my GF's recent behavior isn't quite as shitty as it comes across but there's definitely was an influence, at least in that one instance. She caught it though, and was adamant about not falling for it. It sounds like they're all starting to come to terms with how ridiculous she's being.
Click to expand...
Ehhh, I don't know. The fact that she had to catch her own behaviour is pretty iffy to me.
 
Your Entertainer said:
I’m worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to “make the effort” to come over to my place, and that she wouldn’t spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She’s usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...
actually I should have read the whole thread first. Wow that's red flag big time. So, so childish even if her friend is influencing her all week. She shouldn't let someone get in her head like that but that also says she thinks k's like that on some level to begin with.

I have some experience with people hounding me for cash and free stuff and playing a sort of relationship card. I had a dude that played big brother with me so he could get money and food and stuff ajd booze and free drugs, etc, etc. He was abusive as all hell and a total narcissistic sociopath. I was trapped and so crippled inside for a long time and this wasn't even a romantic relationship. He purposefully filled a void in my life for a sort of male role model that I lacked growing up and tore me down while he ran me for everything I have. I worked and he was on some subsidized housing for "recovering" addicts and on welfare. I bought him a flat screen tv for fuck sake which he later pawned...

Worry didn't mean to make this about me. Just don't let anyone treat you like a second wallet. Especially someone close which is where people always get you. Family or best friend or significant others. Of course you want to share what you have with them but don't get taken advantage of. It cripples more than just your wallet, you've lost control over your life and your self worth too. I would not have had the level of mental health crises and addiction problems I did thennif I didn't have this guy fucking with my very being leaving me with nothing all the time. Just to feed his own demons..
 
Your Entertainer said:
I'm worried this will happen. The other day my GF started complaining that I needed to buy her a gift if she were to "make the effort" to come over to my place, and that she wouldn't spend a penny while staying with me.

I was floored. My GF later apologized profusely, and told me about her friend as above. Consequently, she had been hanging out with her friend like every day that week. Made sense as it was very, very unlike her to say that. Hearing it was frustrating. My GF begged me to please snap her out of it if she acts like that again. She's usually extremely fair, laid back and reasonable, but it seems like a close friends influence can be very powerful if unchecked.
Click to expand...
Is your GF brainwashed by her friend wtf?! Maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship if she keeps on acting like this and keeps this other girl still as a friend.
 
It won't matter if OP ignores his GF friend. What will matter is when his GF starts listening to her friend, then OP will have a problem.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

The New York Times doesn't know what NATO stands for
29
532
Aesius replied
John Candy: I Like Me | Documentary | Amazon | October 10
37
1K
Krathoon replied
USA and Japan Twitter cross-pollinate, discover best friend status
2 3
103
1K
P:axMagellanic replied
I am on my like 4th office chair
24
415
FudgeIt replied
  • Poll
Do you like malls?
2
59
1K
AJUMP23 replied
Top Bottom