Mammoth Jones
Member
Word. Not unrealistic at all. I would have a conversation about it but at the end of the day if my GF would allow her friend to disrespect me then that tells me all I need to know.
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GF's friend doesn't like me
- Thread starter Your Entertainer
- Start date
Word. Not unrealistic at all. I would have a conversation about it but at the end of the day if my GF would allow her friend to disrespect me then that tells me all I need to know.
BossLackey
Gold Member
Don't worry. That girl clearly has very little self worth and will amount to a trophy wife at best and a dried up, used up hag most likely.
If anything, you should feel sorry for her. The better question is why on Earth your girlfriend is friends with here in the first place.
If anything, you should feel sorry for her. The better question is why on Earth your girlfriend is friends with here in the first place.
paperboywriter
Member
Your gf has bad taste when it comes to judging people. That friend is scum
Kid Kamikaze10
Member
I'm going to take it a step further than say just ignore her.
Ask your girlfriend why she hasn't defended you/put her foot down on this.
I don't put up with anyone in my circle talking badly about my girlfriend. Not even family, though thankfully they all love her.
Maybe I'm overdoing it, but it seems weird she would kinda let this talk flourish.
Ask your girlfriend why she hasn't defended you/put her foot down on this.
I don't put up with anyone in my circle talking badly about my girlfriend. Not even family, though thankfully they all love her.
Maybe I'm overdoing it, but it seems weird she would kinda let this talk flourish.
sssstententen
Member
Was gonna make a post defending the GF, because sometimes its pretty normal to have a long-term/old friend from HS who turns toxic, but you can still have fun around/have a deep history with. It happens. Obviously as long as OP's gf was very clear that she didn't abide her friends BS it'd be fine, but.....
THIS is bullshit. Your GF doesn't want or need you to "snap her out of it". She liked and probably even agreed with what her friend was saying, and tried it out as a test. When it didn't pan out, she backpedaled hard. People don't get brainwashed. She wanted to see if she'd get away with it, which means deep down she feels that it's possible/fair/right.
Obviously if you've been with this girl for awhile you can work on this OP, but I would not be surprised if it starts getting worse. Look for the breadcrumbs.
THIS is bullshit. Your GF doesn't want or need you to "snap her out of it". She liked and probably even agreed with what her friend was saying, and tried it out as a test. When it didn't pan out, she backpedaled hard. People don't get brainwashed. She wanted to see if she'd get away with it, which means deep down she feels that it's possible/fair/right.
Obviously if you've been with this girl for awhile you can work on this OP, but I would not be surprised if it starts getting worse. Look for the breadcrumbs.
Silvergun-Blue
Member
On the surface it's easy to say just ignore her, but it's somewhat concerning that this girl (because she's certainly a girl, not a woman) does seem to have some sort of influence over your GF.
At the very least I'd suggest you have a frank but civil conversation with your GF.
May want to ask yourself how your GF would react to this whole situation if you weren't on such a lucrative career path. I could just be cynical though.
At the very least I'd suggest you have a frank but civil conversation with your GF.
May want to ask yourself how your GF would react to this whole situation if you weren't on such a lucrative career path. I could just be cynical though.
family_guy
Member
Some people think they can be best friends with shitty people and have that not affect their own personality. I don't believe that. I think you are the company you keep. Decide if the relationship is really worth it to you.
Based on experience you're in for a bumpy ride, especially since it's long distance. Her friend has your GF's ear all the time, and this friend does not care about your feelings at all. She is probably dogging her 24/7 about you and she won't feel vindicated until you are out of the picture.
Soldiussnaku
Member
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Friend is definitely jealous of your gf so she is trying to sabotage your relationship
Why GF puts up with this IDK
Why GF puts up with this IDK
The Jazz Cabbage Master
Member
Ask your partner why she tolerates someone so toxic to you
Yeah if i had a friend who was always saying problematic shit about how my gf behaves I'd not consider them a friend and, with my gf, would make some distance from them.
D
Deleted member 13876
Unconfirmed Member
Agree.
FUNKNOWN iXi
Member
Best advice I've read while skimming this thread of "ignore her."
This kind of shit pollutes a relationship and grates on couples over time if nothing is done about it.
EDIT:
And after I posted my comment I noticed this; this is why you can't just "ignore it." The stank is starting to seep in.
Vegetable Lasagna
Member
I would be concerned your gf wants to actually hang around someone like this. I'd talk to her, but if she's unwilling to distance herself from the friend or defend you there is only a few outcomes:
1) Relationship blows up because you and the best friend can't co-exist in the same room
2) Your gf decides to take action on her friend's advice.
3) Your gf actually would never take action on her friends advice. You pretend everything is okay, but randomly implode under the pressure of an uncertain outcome.
Which means you only have one possible solution to avoid this:
1) Trust your girlfriend and don't think about it again until there is a reason to.
If the Trust option doesn't work then there is only one place to go:
1) Run and re-install Tinder. You can do this in any order depending on how good of a person you are.
I'd honestly go for the Run option if a talk with her doesn't go well. Why'd you want to be with someone that tolerates other people treating you like that if it isn't deserved?
1) Relationship blows up because you and the best friend can't co-exist in the same room
2) Your gf decides to take action on her friend's advice.
3) Your gf actually would never take action on her friends advice. You pretend everything is okay, but randomly implode under the pressure of an uncertain outcome.
Which means you only have one possible solution to avoid this:
1) Trust your girlfriend and don't think about it again until there is a reason to.
If the Trust option doesn't work then there is only one place to go:
1) Run and re-install Tinder. You can do this in any order depending on how good of a person you are.
I'd honestly go for the Run option if a talk with her doesn't go well. Why'd you want to be with someone that tolerates other people treating you like that if it isn't deserved?
Sparkedglory
Member
Lmao. My girlfriend was like that before. Not necessarily 6ft, but just a guy taller than her. Then little 5'4" me comes in and changes everything, and yes she's taller than me. Some people are just really superficial.
Now Op I saw the other info that I missed earlier. I would just sit your GF down and try to have a 1 on 1 talk with her about the entire situation. I would legit tell her to just tell her friend to shut up, basically just have her defend you. If her friend can't respect you because she dislikes you for superficial gold digger reasons, then she quite honestly doesn't need to be her friend.
Yuuuuuuuup.
I'd immediately question why she's hanging around someone who is against her relationship with you, OP. That's a terrible sign. Total red flag.
It's tricky. You don't want to be that guy who's clearing what your SO does all the time and what friends she keeps, but on the other hand, some friends are kind of malignant.
A few years ago, my wife (then girlfriend) found a friend at work who was fine at first and then became an extremely negative influence. They became close REALLY fast. Perhaps too fast? I dunno. They jumped from causal work mates to comrades in arms to bosom buddies in record time. The friend was nice enough to me at first, but was going thru some problems in her relationship, and suddenly decided that if her relationship was making her miserable, then my girlfriend must have been suffering the same problems, as well. I was badmouthed and belittled constantly for no real reason other than this gal's problems with her man meant that I was guilty by association.
I didn't really see anything wrong at first, but the missus would slowly begin ignoring me and being pretty distracted during our free time together. My gf started going out with her friend without letting me know; booking trips together (!) without letting me know, etc. Our usually great communication pretty much ground to a halt. All the while, the friend was telling her things like "if I were you, I wouldn't tolerate his (my) influence on your life." This person my gf had known for less than a year was telling her how the man she lived with (me) for the past five or six years and had known for like another ten years on top of that was a dickhead and was now an expert on the "influence" I was apparently exerting. Eventually, the friend openly encouraged my gf to cheat on me. Some friend.
Finally, I said something along the lines of "I'm not going to ask you to choose between us or anything dramatic and stupid like that, but I think you should really sit down and think if this person is truly your friend or not. She's transposing her problems and misery on to you. Is that what a friend does?" The missus kind of reevaluated who her friends truly were and cut this malignant friend out of her life.
A few years ago, my wife (then girlfriend) found a friend at work who was fine at first and then became an extremely negative influence. They became close REALLY fast. Perhaps too fast? I dunno. They jumped from causal work mates to comrades in arms to bosom buddies in record time. The friend was nice enough to me at first, but was going thru some problems in her relationship, and suddenly decided that if her relationship was making her miserable, then my girlfriend must have been suffering the same problems, as well. I was badmouthed and belittled constantly for no real reason other than this gal's problems with her man meant that I was guilty by association.
I didn't really see anything wrong at first, but the missus would slowly begin ignoring me and being pretty distracted during our free time together. My gf started going out with her friend without letting me know; booking trips together (!) without letting me know, etc. Our usually great communication pretty much ground to a halt. All the while, the friend was telling her things like "if I were you, I wouldn't tolerate his (my) influence on your life." This person my gf had known for less than a year was telling her how the man she lived with (me) for the past five or six years and had known for like another ten years on top of that was a dickhead and was now an expert on the "influence" I was apparently exerting. Eventually, the friend openly encouraged my gf to cheat on me. Some friend.
Finally, I said something along the lines of "I'm not going to ask you to choose between us or anything dramatic and stupid like that, but I think you should really sit down and think if this person is truly your friend or not. She's transposing her problems and misery on to you. Is that what a friend does?" The missus kind of reevaluated who her friends truly were and cut this malignant friend out of her life.
Triggerhappytel
Member
Uh, you sound like you have a solid career and she sounds like a horrible superficial prick who will probably hook up with the wrong men and be let down in relationships until she grows the fuck up. Ignore her. Unless she is actually influencing your girlfriend (in which case she is also very shallow) you have nothing to worry about.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
OP youre on your way to be a Doctor?
Snkfanatic
Banned
Time to move on OP. Judging by your OP and the stuff I have read in here.
This right here is the truth.
You describe your relationship with your girlfriend as solid and mature and trusting and positive, but I just don't buy it. It may be from your perspective, but I think she's ready to move on from you whenever it's convenient to her or someone else comes along.
Her not only being close friends with someone who thinks this way and doesn't like or respect you -- Not only does she tolerate this but she doesn't mount a vigorous defense of you to this friend -- This is such a huge red flag. When I'm in a loving and trusting relationship with someone, I won't pal around with people who don't like or respect her and I won't tolerate people shit talking her. If I did it would mean I didn't take the relationship very seriously (it'd also mean I'm kind of a prick, too).
Your SO should be someone who's on your side. You and her are in it together. It should be you two shit talking other people together. Not you on the outside getting shit talked.
Be ready
Her not only being close friends with someone who thinks this way and doesn't like or respect you -- Not only does she tolerate this but she doesn't mount a vigorous defense of you to this friend -- This is such a huge red flag. When I'm in a loving and trusting relationship with someone, I won't pal around with people who don't like or respect her and I won't tolerate people shit talking her. If I did it would mean I didn't take the relationship very seriously (it'd also mean I'm kind of a prick, too).
Your SO should be someone who's on your side. You and her are in it together. It should be you two shit talking other people together. Not you on the outside getting shit talked.
Be ready
Glendemonium
Member
I'd be concerned, it sure as hell happened to me and that stuck up friend succeeded. Of course one has to consider how weakwilled you'd have to be to let friends dictate what kind of relationship you should have.
Wanted to make a valley joke, because that kind of shallow mentality is everywhere here.
Wanted to make a valley joke, because that kind of shallow mentality is everywhere here.
TheBaldEmperor
Member
A large part of the reason my former fiancé left me is because her best friend from high school came back into her adult life and she cared way too much about being like and getting approval from this friend. Once they started hanging out it went down hill in a matter of months. Her friend got her into clubbing which I had no idea was happening and she had shown no interest in before. Ultimately they continued to make poor life choices and my ex wrecked her car and dropped out of school as well as picked up smoking and drinking. I dogged a bullet to be sure and I'm thankful this all happened before we actually got married. The friends of your significant other can be your worst enemy for sure.
With a side order of "Pity me, because I can't stand up to a mean woman."
Raptomex
Member
What?
Hickbilly Deluxe
Banned
This this this. Over time, constant talk like this can get to a person and break them down until they see things the other persons way. I had to deal with this exact situation with my ex-wife and one of her friends and it helped bring about the end of my marriage.
OP, your GFs friend is toxic as hell and will eventually lead to problems. Tell your GF this, and that you don't like her or how she acts. If your GF defends her for any reason other than 'I'm just waiting for the train wreck to happen', you may as well get ready to put up with the friend for a long, long time.
TheRealCanadianBros.
Banned
26 turning 27, 5.5 yrs and counting, after college planning to marry her.
Would you also like records of my sexual performance, length and girth of my member?
Triggerhappytel
Member
I'm 35, been with my wife for 14 years, married for over 6 years, I tend to last about 8-10 minutes before climaxing, I've had three previous lovers and I enjoy giving head but I've only orgasmed from a blowjob twice. Anything else you'd like to know before I'm allowed to give common sense relationship advice?