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E3 2014 Thread
Thread #7
Giant Bomb is a website about video games. Once described by the site's Editor-In-Chief as "insightful but funny video game coverage", GB is that and so much more, covering all angles of the video game industry and community - whether you're looking for considered, intelligent discussion about the nature of games development, or just a bunch of guys sat on a sofa making fun of a ridiculous simulator from the depths of Steam Early access, there's something for you here. On top of that, there's a range of subscriber content: if you like what you see, there's way more where that came from behind the reasonable paywall.
Giant Bomb is well into its seventh year of existence and counting. Since its humble beginnings in a Sausalito basement, with just 4 duders and a surprisingly resourceful "t-shirt guy", the site has blown up in a big way, now taking over the entirety of the United States (by which I mean San Francisco, New York City and Chicago). With mysterious new hires on the way, and hot off of having its most successful E3 to date, Giant Bomb can only get even more giant.
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The Giant Bomb Superstars
GIANT BOMB WEST - San Francisco, California
Jeff Gerstmann
When a careless arcade-goer spilt a 4 Loko onto a Mortal Kombat cabinet, the resulting fusion left behind only one thing: El Jefe. He enters the ring looking to deliver justice to mediocre wrestlers and mediocre video games alike with his iconic signature move, the 8.8. Throwing eggs at him will send him into a blind rage no man can reason with.
Brad Shoemaker
This crowd favourite is an expert of foretelling future events, whether you want him to or not. Supposedly a beast in dark matches, his powers are drained in front of the TV cameras, making him a less than ideal GBCW superstar; yet the #TeamBrad Movement carries on despite this. Can even the Authority shut down this shaggy underdog?
Dan Ryckert
Hailing from Minneapolis, MN, the Butt Tumbler joins the Giant Bomb West Coast wrestling federation. Previously just a meer smark, no wrestler is more infamous for their out-of-the-ring antics than this wily contender; you may get the pin, but he'll have his revenge in the end, whether it's through dating sites, midnight launches or writing and self-publishing a book detailing your every flaw. That's assuming he can be pinned, though - his silly exterior masks old-school technique honed for years of watching terrible PPVs. Watch out for his punishing aerial technique, the Air Force Gator - it's got a real bite.
Drew Scanlon
Hand-picked by Putin himself to demonstrate the Soviet might in the squared circle, the Comrade is the Czar of technique. He wows the dirty capitalist masses with the devastating Take Off, followed by his powerful finisher the Crash Landing. Local police forces believe him to have been involved in drug-smuggling operations back in his home country of the Czech Republic.
Matthew Rorie
A former spymaster for the mysterious Obisidian corporation, Rorie now manages a mean stable at Giant Bomb called "The Dogpound". Few are as skilled in turning their opponent's power against them than this alarmingly nimble superstar.
Jason Oestreicher
Coming to the Giant Bomb world championship scene from a small federation in Minneapolis, the Informer worked for years behind the scenes, making the show go smooth and leaving the crowds satisfied. However, when you spend your life watching amateurs throw each about, demonstrating technique far too out-dated for human consumption, the bloodlust can only be held back for so long. He dons his mask with a view to thrill the San Francisco crowds and make his name as legendary in the ring as out of it.
GIANT BOMB EAST - New York City, New York
Alex Navarro
The Wolf is the undisputed champ of the Giant Bomb wrestling scene. His flawless victory at the PAX East Royal Rumble cemented this superstar's status as a force to be reckoned with, even against Giant Bomb West and their underhand "tactics". His influence has brought new followers to his cause, and anyone standing in his way will fall to the Snark Bomb. His only weakness is the cutest of video games.
Vinny Caravella
Following the collapse of his small business in the wake of the Internet Age, the Businessman seeks revenge on a world that has wronged him for the last time. His signature move is Stamps.com - 16 crushing stamps to the chest in a row - leaves no-one standing, especially as a cap to his borderline illegal fighting style, honed in open worlds across all video games. He's spent the last few weeks practising the Coast To Coast. Be afraid.
RING OF HORROR - Chicago, Illinois
Patrick Klepek
Long-time tag-team partner of the Wolf, despite currently being based nowhere near NYC, Scoops is best known as the man behind the mic in the world of Giant Bomb Wrestling, getting the juiciest soundbites out of our favourite wrestlers. That said, don't count him out in the ring - his White Face technique puts the fear of God into his opponents, letting him easily hit them with the Bat Tech finisher for the pin.
Giant Bomb Hall of Fame
Ryan Davis
This is the man all Giant Bomb superstars dream of being even a shade as legendary as. The most loyal man in the company, Nacho Boss lived up to his name, main-eventing time after time with flavour you just couldn't get enough of. His no-holds-barred delivery stunned opponents on both coasts and beyond, with shutdowns and taunts you'd expect to see coming from the most villainous of contenders, never mind the friendliest face in any fed. His time in the ring was far too short-lived for such an amazing spectacle of a superstar.
Ryan Davis, the Nacho Boss. RIP, man.
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Send your Superstar Fan Mail here:
Brad: @bradshoemaker, Tumblr: From the Desk of Brad Shoemaker, NeoGAF: rudds
Jeff: @jeffgerstmann, Tumblr: Jeff Gerstmann Is Still A Threat, NeoGAF: MonsterDunk
Patrick: @patrickklepek, Tumblr: Patrick Klepek Will Now Take Your Calls, NeoGAF: Patrick Klepek
Vinny: @VinnyCaravella, Tumblr: My friends call me Vinny, NeoGAF: bionicpuppy
Drew: @drewscanlon
Alex: @alex_navarro, Tumblr: SPEAK TO ME, DUDERS
Matt Rorie: @frailgesture, Tumblr: Properly Petting Puppies
Dan: @DanRyckert, NeoGAF: DanRyckert
Jason: @unastrike
What To Do When The Giant Bomb Camera Guys Are On The Ric Flair Sauce Again
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That's it! Have a good thread! Be kind and pleasant and all that jazz. In the words of Michael Cole: "So long everybody!"
