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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
- Thread starter Combine
- Start date
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kame-sennin
Member
demon said:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
If your own appraisal of yourself is more important than what others think of you, then you will never be self conscious.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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Thinking about this for a minute, I think the real reason I'm so self-conscious and fear what other people will think of me is because it would reaffirm the negative beliefs I already have about myself and my low self-esteem. I'm like the anti-Barney.... in my body, where my awesome-gland should be, I have a second shame-gland. True story.kame-sennin said:
Ash Sparrow
Banned
That made me laugh, seems you have a humor gland aswelldemon said:
hectorse said:
My goodness. I was just saying that the girls who will go for you will go for you what you are.
I'm a nerd so people who would like me like me because I'm a nerd. Girls who like nerds will like nerds.
I'm just saying that that's all.
Why do you take half-truths (half of what I say) and explode them to make me look like I'm not knowing what I'm talking about when I really do?
Damn it people. Is that how you treat others? That's really a shame. You hear half of one thing, and say hehehe how to make him miserable when I know he's saying the same thing I'm saying.
I said I wanted to meet girls. What part do you not understand? I said I need more female friends before I can score a girlfriend.
My goodness. smh. You people are just assholes twisting the weak and making them feel miserable.
Go back to page 71 and see how this developed. I don't understand you guys at all.
I might have taken the passionate thing a little too far, but I believe the point is valid. There is no reason why any high quality woman would find a love of engineering unattractive. Whether or not she has some kind of strange nerd fetish is irrelevant. The point I was trying to make to claviertekky is that he is good enough for any woman, not just women who claim to have a thing for nerds. He should approach women not thinking "I hope she is one of those girls who likes nerdy engineers", but instead think "this girl looks cute let me see if she's someone I would like to hang around with. Claviertekky already has everything he needs to attract women, he just needs to let go of his limiting beliefs and just go for it. If it means anything claviertekky, I would love to buy you a drink and go talk to some women with you.
Thank you for that offer if it could be doable...Ace 8095 said:
I just need more female friends. That is all. That way I have more connections and find a girl that way. As I have already stated, the female connections I have are my friends' girlfriends mostly.
From your quotes, I don't think of it that way. If she likes me great, if she doesn't, OK. It's just intuitively and naturally that you don't think about it that way. They just like nerds. That's the way it is.
claviertekky said:
No one bothered to read what I formulated last night with an intense discussion with a friend. Thanks.
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Ok GAF. This is what I was hammering at. Let me rediscuss what I was trying to say for the past two pages.
This topic is about girl age and where to begin, so I was answering this with a very intense discussion that I had with my friend a couple nights ago.
Basically, you need to have a social circle. In other words, friends. You need to start from the ground up basics. Male friend. Female friend. Doesn't matter.
Now, some of us guys are deficient in the female friend factor. What most of you guys seem to be so adament about that if it's a GIRL = OMG DATE! This is a terrible way of thinking for guys lacking female friends.
If you don't have female friends to begin with, this is bound to end up with a lot of clinginess and wasteful actions. You end up infatuated, and you pretty much all over this one girl you are meeting if she shows interest. This is what happened with me, and this is what happened with my other friend. Most of the time girls just want another guy as a friend, and they don't want him in a relationship sort of sense if she already has one. If you guys are always going to equate GIRL = OMG DATE ZONE ONLY, then this is bound to fail even if it succeeds initially. This girl most likely wanted to be looking for friendship only, which should be fine if this is at your stage.
You need to build a base of solid friends that include females to help us to go somewhere.
After you established your group of female friends and male friends, then you are ready for a girlfriend.
I was saying my situation is this, and that for females that I encounter, I will now have to put them in the friend zone. This is what I'm very bummed about.
Do you guys not agree with this? For those of you guys saying I was making excuses these last few pages, as you can see, those were not excuses. This is what I was talking about!!!
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
ggnoobIGN said:
I kant hunder stand wat u r saying. More inpho plz.
The Last Wizard
Member
damn i didnt think i was supposed to contact her so soon or anything, did i screw up already?hectorse said:
This damn game is so confusing
BronzeWolf
Banned
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Sigh. Did you even read what I wrote?Slo said:
claviertekky said:
Perhaps this is what Combine needs. He says he doesn't have any friends.
As for bickering, you guys are bickering, too. You're not seeing it from my point of view at all. You just ignored a bunch of stuff I just wrote. As for the people who respond, they don't agree which is what looks like bickering.
This is a discussion, and discussion promotes many waves of interaction. If it's all just agreement of this and no disagreement, then I guess it's not a discussion.
hectorse said:
I shared with you something I conversed with my friend the other day. Will this improve Combine's situation or guys like me in a similar situation? Is this the path that's needed?
Sorry if all of this sounds like bickering the last few pages. I just don't understand why people are ignoring this.
Snowman Prophet of Doom
Member
kame-sennin said:
My problem is that my own appraisal IS more important, but my appraisal of myself is shockingly negative.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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I think if you remember a while ago (just last weekend), I was a bit bummed taking a new girl to downtown (first thing I've actually done to do something about it), but I found out that she had a boyfriend at the end of the night (ldr = long distance relationship). She's really cute, and I really don't want to friend-zone her, but I feel like I don't have a choice as I need to start from somewhere.
btw... you forgot about 1,2,4, and 6 in your boolean table.
I appreciate your feedback.
btw... you forgot about 1,2,4, and 6 in your boolean table.
I appreciate your feedback.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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I'm just growing infatuated with her. I don't know. It's dangerous since I don't have many female friends.hectorse said:Friend Zone Her no problem!
Then go out and find another one, try to date her, if it doesn't work, friend zone her too.
rinse and repeat, you'll be practicing your game will making your social circle bigger
The ones I tried to date have pretty much left me, and I only knew this other girl since I vaguely knew her through facebook.
I showed a picture of all the girls I liked to a friend, and he told me they all look the same. Either I have some really high criteria, or I don't know...
For what I know, I was told to never settle with someone below your standards. Otherwise, you'll end up ultimately unhappy.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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hectorse said:No I didn't, it's a 2 bit input (x and y) 1 bit output (z) table, not a 3 input table
haha
hectorse said:
Yeah, I just wish I knew more within my circle. I know one girl who was interested in me, but I don't really like her in the same way, so...
I don't know. Let's cut the crap out and spit it out since it's relevant and very important.
Some people are very PC when it comes to choosing girls to date. Like for instance among Asians, they are told not to date Japanese or Korean or Chinese sort or certain races.
Part of that is factored in my standards, and you may find this wrong. I just feel it's something I have to account for.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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NetMapel said:I've seen girls at those LAN games or D&D games. However, guys don't go after those girls either. Seems like guys would prefer to go find other girls and friendzoned those poor "nerdy" girls
Well, at least with men, you need to be physically attracted to someone before you start dating them. It's the harsh reality of everything.
K2Valor said:
I mention this earlier:
Alcohol + massage = Physical chemistry
Worked for me.
Summing up the argument, I get what clavier is saying. It doesn't hurt to expand your social circle. It'll increase your chances to be introduce to a potential date.
And I think anyone can like a nerd, just break down what you're passionate about through analogies. I don't care how passionate you are about something. If you're talking all this technical jargon I can't understand, I don't wanna hear it. Break it down for me plz!
Yes I thought of it.Slo said:
It's natural to be defensive of many things. That's what conversation is. If you're telling me the right way in life is to agree with everyone no matter what it is, then that's just being a tool.
Since this is an internet forum, there's more to conversation than just plain text. There is better motion, gesture, tone, voice, and more. My friends and I converse in this fashion all the time, and I sure hope so that's how your conversations go, too. I hope your conversations don't go along the lines of "This thing sucks/rocks!" and the only acceptable response is "Yeah!" Nothing more.
Anyway, you're digressing here, and again, even though I addressed your points, it is not fair you do not address mine.
The Last Wizard
Member
Bob Coffee
Member
So guys, im taking a latin dance class, in a few hours i have to go to a social event for the class, its required, and there's going to be alot of girls there. im not the greatest dancer, and i suffer from being a bit too shy but that's improving with the class. So GAF, besides the usual fhuta advice, what advice can you give me in this situation? i don't expect anything crazy to happen, but it would be nice to at least go in with a gameplan to have fun.
Friends, How do you make them! :lol I asked it before but kinda forgot or different thread...or something else. Basically I'm the opposite. I have no problems approaching guy or girl for a relationship. But with just wanting to approach them for friendship... I've always been shaky at best. I'm not really sure when it's okay. Like to ask for their phone number. And I really don't have any dedicated hobbies or stands(I'm very much like water and enjoy mostly everything, and enjoy doing anything). So even if I do get a number...is it okay to call them and try to get them to include me? or do I call them.
I also seem to have this problem of being too flirty. So guys think I'm gay(Which is about 60% true) and think I'm hitting on them(Regardless of how they look, even if I think they are butt ugly) and Girls think I'm doing the same.
I maybe a bit egotistical too. I mean, I really am a bit over zealous and do allot of stupid things. So anyways to control that also?
I also seem to have this problem of being too flirty. So guys think I'm gay(Which is about 60% true) and think I'm hitting on them(Regardless of how they look, even if I think they are butt ugly) and Girls think I'm doing the same.
I maybe a bit egotistical too. I mean, I really am a bit over zealous and do allot of stupid things. So anyways to control that also?
Hmm, I feel bad that I haven't had anything meaningful to contribute to this thread, heh, my own thread. I've tried to prevent myself from just simply posting for the sake of it and all it would consist of is how I haven't made any progress at all.
You know, looking at it, it seems like such a miniscule event, but well, it's all I've got now. So, I had taken my mom out to lunch then we accompanied each other to do shopping (I won't be suprised if this alone sounds so pathetic to most people). Anyway, we were at the clothes store where I had bought shirts a while back. When we checked out, one of the girls behind the counter was the same one I had previously encountered when I had first bought those shirts.
I commented to her that all the shirts I bought were great and that I was even wearing one of them at the moment (which was true). She said it looked great on me. Of course I said thank you, but that was where I couldn't figure out where to go from then on. It was also a bit distracting with her co-worker and my mom right there.
But yeah, that's all the update I have. Again, it's not much at all, but well, it's something. For me, its nice to have some interaction with someone during these rough times I'm still going through. Job hunt doesn't look so good. The type of job I want is not being offered by any company in my area. This might mean a relocation unless I can somehow find someplace or a connection.
You know, looking at it, it seems like such a miniscule event, but well, it's all I've got now. So, I had taken my mom out to lunch then we accompanied each other to do shopping (I won't be suprised if this alone sounds so pathetic to most people). Anyway, we were at the clothes store where I had bought shirts a while back. When we checked out, one of the girls behind the counter was the same one I had previously encountered when I had first bought those shirts.
I commented to her that all the shirts I bought were great and that I was even wearing one of them at the moment (which was true). She said it looked great on me. Of course I said thank you, but that was where I couldn't figure out where to go from then on. It was also a bit distracting with her co-worker and my mom right there.
But yeah, that's all the update I have. Again, it's not much at all, but well, it's something. For me, its nice to have some interaction with someone during these rough times I'm still going through. Job hunt doesn't look so good. The type of job I want is not being offered by any company in my area. This might mean a relocation unless I can somehow find someplace or a connection.
The Last Wizard
Member
ok i need some suggestions i'm gonna call the girl tonight, i figured i start off about being swamped with work the reason for me not calling last night. What else should i talk about?
and should i call or text?
and should i call or text?
disillusion386
Member
NightHawk17 said:
Dude, you're over thinking it. Don't bring up about not calling last night because it doesn't really matter. Just call, ask how she's doing, and let the conversation go from there. Ask her how her day has been, what she has planned this weekend, and ask her out to something. If you think and analyze too much, you're bound to mess things up. So starting right now, relax and let things flow.
The Last Wizard
Member
your right, i am over thinking. I'm just so damn nervous:loldisillusion386 said:
it's been a while since i spoke to a girl on the phone, which was my ex and we were friends first so it wasn't awkward
well wish me luck
claviertekky said:
Didn't say agree with everyone, but how about picking your battles? Are you the guy who's looking for advice here, or are you the guy giving it out? You're the former, so maybe running your mouth and poking holes in everything isn't the best strategy.
When the conversation turns to a serious topic, serious thought and discussion is involved. And when disagreements are found, we generally agree to disagree fairly quickly to avoid alienating each other and making it unpleasant to be around each other. This may be a good strategy for you to employ, even on internet forums.
Anyway, go ahead and tell me how incredibly wrong, douchey, and stupid I am. I'll let you have the last word. I'm not going try to drag you out of your negativity against your will any more.
disillusion386
Member
NightHawk17 said:
haha it's alright to be nervous. Good luck!
Just want to add for the guys doing online dating. I've had good luck using eharmony. I've recently started getting back in the swing of things after getting dumped a few months ago and I get plenty of girls contacting me on eharmony. It's expensive but I guess the upfront cost means people aren't too flaky. Also, every girl that has contacted me has had non-religious listed on their profile.
The Last Wizard
Member
thanks, just called and no answer. well see what happens later...disillusion386 said:
disillusion386
Member
NightHawk17 said:
You left a message, right? If you did, it's up to her now and you just sit tight.
The Last Wizard
Member
ahhhhhh, i didn'tdisillusion386 said:
disillusion386
Member
NightHawk17 said:ahhhhhh, i didn't
I read through your posts to figure out your situation, and you mentioned that she gave you her number. Did you give her yours? Because if you didn't, how would she know that it was you who called??
Anyway, all is not lost. If I was in your situation, I would wait a couple of hours or even a day and call again. For the love of god, leave a message!!! Keep the message simple. "Hey this is NightHawk, just seeing how you're doing. Wanted to see if you wanted to grab a drink/coffee with me on Sunday. K, give me a call back."
I blew it tonight! I was at the mall getting a Zagg screen protector put on for my new Droid and I walked into a nearby clothing store. A really cute employee welcomed me and asked me what I was looking for. I told her I was just browsing and mentioned I was getting a screen protector. She proceeded to mention that her Blackberry's wheel was broken, blabla, light chitchat.
I started to look around and she suggested I check out a couple thermal shirts since I was already wearing one. She pointed to one in particular and said that you get a free tote bag with it and I could give it to my girlfriend. I laughed and said "No girlfriend, I'm happy about that!" and laughed. She chuckled and mentioned I could get it for "one of your one night stands". I almost shit myself right there, but I kept composure and chuckled, and said "Yea totally!".
I tried on a few things and another employee helped me while she was helping another customer.
I ended up trying on a thermal "Oh so you DID want the thermal, I see how important my suggestions are!". She mentioned how she can't wait to get out of work since she's been working since 9am and it was now 6pm or so. I asked the group of employees for their thoughts, because I was unsure about the shirt length. The guy employee made a comment about the cute girl cutting her shirt short earlier today because she spilled coffee on it. We all laughed a bit.
I'm checking out and I had to make a move, and I totally putzed it. Instead of asking her what she was doing after work and if she wanted to grab a drink, I choked up and asked if I could come back and return it for a smaller size if it doesnt shrink properly in the wash. She said she could definitely do something for me.
I'm kicking myself right now, as she was a hottie (with a killer body), more than any of the other girls I'm currently talking to, and it definitely felt right until the last moment. Argh!
I started to look around and she suggested I check out a couple thermal shirts since I was already wearing one. She pointed to one in particular and said that you get a free tote bag with it and I could give it to my girlfriend. I laughed and said "No girlfriend, I'm happy about that!" and laughed. She chuckled and mentioned I could get it for "one of your one night stands". I almost shit myself right there, but I kept composure and chuckled, and said "Yea totally!".
I tried on a few things and another employee helped me while she was helping another customer.
I ended up trying on a thermal "Oh so you DID want the thermal, I see how important my suggestions are!". She mentioned how she can't wait to get out of work since she's been working since 9am and it was now 6pm or so. I asked the group of employees for their thoughts, because I was unsure about the shirt length. The guy employee made a comment about the cute girl cutting her shirt short earlier today because she spilled coffee on it. We all laughed a bit.
I'm checking out and I had to make a move, and I totally putzed it. Instead of asking her what she was doing after work and if she wanted to grab a drink, I choked up and asked if I could come back and return it for a smaller size if it doesnt shrink properly in the wash. She said she could definitely do something for me.
I'm kicking myself right now, as she was a hottie (with a killer body), more than any of the other girls I'm currently talking to, and it definitely felt right until the last moment. Argh!
I would but I guarantee she's off work by now, plus it's been more than a couple minutes so that would come off weird!
Plus unless I'm in the moment, and have a good gameplan I know I'm gonna psych myself out, I ALWAYS do.
I'm open to suggestions though for a return visit! Or you can goof on me if you want :lol
Plus unless I'm in the moment, and have a good gameplan I know I'm gonna psych myself out, I ALWAYS do.
I'm open to suggestions though for a return visit! Or you can goof on me if you want :lol
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