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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?

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gamerecks said:
Im hoping for the best on this one.

A few months ago, me and this girl were supposed to go out. She ends up getting sick, no biggie. Well after shes recovered, she tells me a guy she was dating came to her aid and now she wants to be more serious with him. She friendzones me and thats that. Well cue a few weeks ago, she starts texting me again. Seems it didnt work out with dude and she wants to get to know me better. Well, at the moment im not looking for anything serious and let her know that. We havent met up yet, but theres been alot of flirting between us and she says she has a crush on me. Should I assume that she still understands that im not looking for anything serious? or is me flirting with her somehow leading her on?

P.S. Another reason im not looking for anything serious now is that a female friend is coming in from out of town in February and has promised me some nasty, never-ending sex the whole time shes here.
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If you told her your only trying to get your fuck on it's not up to you to remind her of what you said. If you can fuck her, wear that shit out, then tell shorty to kick rocks after you bust your nut.

Don't ask her to spend the night, don't be cupcaking with the little hoe, don't be holding hands or telling her you love her and all that other sucker shit either.
 
wadsworth said:
I would never do presents on the first date. I did once give a girl some chocolates on a third date, but only because it was halloween.

I sometimes do flowers on the first date. Do any of you guys still do that?
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Don't get flowers for a women until she's qualified for that. Let her earn those flowers.
 
Little update:

Went to this Crossroads Christmas lunch thing, I was surprised by how stunningly good looking girls there were, I'll see if I can link some pics when they get uploaded. Didn't have the balls to talk to them yet, but I did talk to a girl who was sitting at my table. I really need to be less nervous though, you could tell how nervous I was by the klutzy way I cut my food and such. :lol

Something like this might be something for you to try out Combine, I went there even though I never go to church (they didn't mind when I told them either), and it's all organized by volunteers, who turned out to be really nice, friendly and helpful people.
 
Revelations said:
Get some personal cards. It dosn't have to be a business card just something with your basic information on it. And don't be afraid to walk up to a female and give her your card and tell her to call you sometime.

Be it at a mall, movie theatre, gas station, bar, grocery store... chicks at a cashier is always easy because you have to face her. That will give you an opportunity to talk to her and get her name.
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See, I've had someone pass me his "card". It just didn't sit right, as though he was trying to come off like he could wear a purple feather boa, carry a cane, and wear a giant gold-tinted dolla sign 'round his neck. I really didn't buy that he actually wanted me to call - more that he wanted me to think that he thought I was worthy enough to hold his phone number.

FWIW, I find the genuine spontaneity of taking out a pen and writing down your digits for a girl more charming.
 
Dilemma said:
Little update:

Went to this Crossroads Christmas lunch thing, I was surprised by how stunningly good looking girls there were, I'll see if I can link some pics when they get uploaded. Didn't have the balls to talk to them yet, but I did talk to a girl who was sitting at my table. I really need to be less nervous though, you could tell how nervous I was by the klutzy way I cut my food and such. :lol

Something like this might be something for you to try out Combine, I went there even though I never go to church (they didn't mind when I told them either), and it's all organized by volunteers, who turned out to be really nice, friendly and helpful people.
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You'll sadly never get anywhere with religious people.

But it's good you're going out and what not, so good luck to you!
 
Zozoroba: Don't text or call that chick. It's been 3 weeks. If she was interested, she would have contacted you to some degree. It takes 5 seconds to send a text. Do the math, and find someone else.
 
OK, I got a date with that girl from Match this weekend. I also have one from eHarmony who wants to go out with me (she's a doctor and I live with my parents, but why not?)

Now, how should I greet the one from Match? We've been IM'ing for about a half hour a day, so should I go for a hug, or just a handshake?


Though I am getting better at the opening of talking to women. That's easy to practice, even if you're not interested in someone. Like if you need help finding something at a supermarket, just say "Hey" the same way you would to a girl you're interested in, but then just ask for what you need. If they react with a smile it's a great confidence booster. I'm not sure if I should feel like a jerk for doing that, but I need the practice.
 
Xun said:
You'll sadly never get anywhere with religious people.

But it's good you're going out and what not, so good luck to you!
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Wow, blanket statement much? My gf is a Christian and so is her twin, her twin had a guy from school contact her via fb and after about 2 months there now a couple, I met my gf waaaaaay back but she was no diffrent to anyother girl her age other than going to church once a week.
 
Link1110 said:
OK, I got a date with that girl from Match this weekend. I also have one from eHarmony who wants to go out with me (she's a doctor and I live with my parents, but why not?)

Now, how should I greet the one from Match? We've been IM'ing for about a half hour a day, so should I go for a hug, or just a handshake?


Though I am getting better at the opening of talking to women. That's easy to practice, even if you're not interested in someone. Like if you need help finding something at a supermarket, just say "Hey" the same way you would to a girl you're interested in, but then just ask for what you need. If they react with a smile it's a great confidence booster. I'm not sure if I should feel like a jerk for doing that, but I need the practice.
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I always hug. Handshake would feel a bit odd to me.
 
Johnlenham said:
Wow, blanket statement much? My gf is a Christian and so is her twin, her twin had a guy from school contact her via fb and after about 2 months there now a couple, I met my gf waaaaaay back but she was no diffrent to anyother girl her age other than going to church once a week.
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I was referring to fundamentalists pretty much.

Luckily being English I don't have to worry about fundies to the same extent that you Americans do.
 
I called the girl, and got an answering machine. I called at 4:45, so I'll try again at 8. Maybe she's not picking up because she doesn't know my number. If she doesn't pick up again, I'll send a text message identifying myself.

I'm bad at voicemail.
 
Link1110 said:
I called the girl, and got an answering machine. I called at 4:45, so I'll try again at 8. Maybe she's not picking up because she doesn't know my number. If she doesn't pick up again, I'll send a text message identifying myself.

I'm bad at voicemail.
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Send an e-mail too. Just to be safe.
 
She didn't pick up again. How's this text;

"Hey %name%,

It's %myname%, from eHarmony. I tried calling, but your phone must be dead. Anyway, I'll try again tomorrow.

Later,
%myname%"
 
Link1110 said:
She didn't pick up again. How's this text;

"Hey %name%,

It's %myname%, from eHarmony. I tried calling, but your phone must be dead. Anyway, I'll try again tomorrow.

Later,
%myname%"
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Don't say "I'll try again tomorrow", just say something so that the ball is in her court e.g. "if you wanna go out again then get in touch" or whatever. Then at leasd you'll know that if she doesn't get in touch then she isn't interested, rather than keep chasing her.
 
She may be in trouble. Kidnapped, trapped in a partially collapsed building, who knows? Maybe no one can get in touch with her.

Its up to YOU.

Find her, save her.
 
PumpkinPie said:
Don't say "I'll try again tomorrow", just say something so that the ball is in her court e.g. "if you wanna go out again then get in touch" or whatever. Then at leasd you'll know that if she doesn't get in touch then she isn't interested, rather than keep chasing her.
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Well, we didn't go out yet, only talked online. Should I put then, "call me back if you want to chat?"
 
I usually text a girl first if she doesn't know my number just so she knows who it is. I never pick up my phone myself if it's from an unstored number.

Don't say "if you want to talk". Confidence man. Just tell her ass to call you back.
 
OK,

"Hey %hername%,

It's %myname% from eHarmony.

I tried calling, but your phone must be dead. Call me tomorrow.

Later,
%myname%"

Well, I'll talk to this one and keep my options open, but it may not be necessary. Me and this other one had a romantic moment over IM about a half hour ago.

At worst, I'll make a friend, I guess.
 
Link1110 said:
OK,

"Hey %hername%,

It's %myname% from eHarmony.

I tried calling, but your phone must be dead. Call me tomorrow.

Later,
%myname%"

Well, I'll talk to this one and keep my options open, but it may not be necessary. Me and this other one had a romantic moment over IM about a half hour ago.

At worst, I'll make a friend, I guess.
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man wtf is wrong with you dog? jesus fucking christ man. yo let the bitch call you back if not cut that bitch off. the fuck you blowing the bitch phone up and sending text messages for? either she saw that you called and don't wanna talk to you or she didn't see that you called and will get at you when she's ready.

you sound desperate as fuck man shit.
 
bdizzle said:
man wtf is wrong with you dog? jesus fucking christ man. yo let the bitch call you back if not cut that bitch off. the fuck you blowing the bitch phone up and sending text messages for? either she saw that you called and don't wanna talk to you or she didn't see that you called and will get at you when she's ready.

you sound desperate as fuck man shit.
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The purpose of the text was that she gave me her number and I didn't get her mine, so she didn't KNOW I called. Now she knows it was me and not just some random number.
 
Link1110 said:
The purpose of the text was that she gave me her number and I didn't get her mine, so she didn't KNOW I called. Now she knows it was me and not just some random number.
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yo, you leave 1 voice mail, saying this is me hit me back, and never call the bitch again until she hits you back. if you calling at 4, then at 8, then leaving another text message it's desperate as fuck man. You look like you chasing this broad.
 
Agrees with bdizzle. Just leave a voicemail or text stating who this is and to feel free to hit you back up whenever and leave it at that. Ball is in her court now. Any more contact then that will come off as desperation to her.
 
bdizzle said:
You know how much of a sucker you sound like right now? You wanna be sweet? Just wish the bitch merry Christmas and keep it moving. Do you go around giving random hoes presents? If not don't give her shit.

You gotta qualify these women. You get her a present when she's earned a present, not because she has a vagina. Cause trust me she's not gonna get you shit just because.
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The TRUTH speaks!
 
Xun said:
I was referring to fundamentalists pretty much.

Luckily being English I don't have to worry about fundies to the same extent that you Americans do.
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Im not an American, im from near London :lol

Well id have said dont rule it out then, hell how do you know theres not people at that thing that only went to find a man but are not into jesus?
 
Link1110 said:
OK,

"Hey %hername%,

It's %myname% from eHarmony.

I tried calling, but your phone must be dead. Call me tomorrow.

Later,
%myname%"

Well, I'll talk to this one and keep my options open, but it may not be necessary. Me and this other one had a romantic moment over IM about a half hour ago.

At worst, I'll make a friend, I guess.
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A romantic moment over IM? What is that supposed to mean? Did you even go out with this second woman yet?

IMHO you need to lay off the IM, it's not a good way to get to know someone. If you are meeting people on eHarmony you should be asking them out on an actual date once you get to open communication. Talk to them on the phone first if you really think you need to build more rapport but I found that most people were willing to meet at that point.
 
Wow holiday shit was busy. Called a girl out for leading me on, dumped her to the side. A supposed friend got all worked up because he thought I was going after his ex (wasn't on my to-do list too) and talking shit behind his back. He basically voided our friendship so I dumped his sorry, pill-pushing ass to the curb as well.

Shortly after met some mid 30's school teacher. Kinky as hell, MILF, and has a smoking ass. I was just really confident and sexual and she was all over it. I was told I have a really sexual aura about me. Thats just gonna be some crazy action don't see that one going anywhere but hey, gotta have fun :lol
 
Link1110 said:
The purpose of the text was that she gave me her number and I didn't get her mine, so she didn't KNOW I called. Now she knows it was me and not just some random number.
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Text is fine right after she doesn't pick up the first time. That, or a voicemail. You shouldn't ever really call a second time, but what's done is done.
 
Well, I'm super shy, and I finally decided to ask this one girl out. We used to talk a bit, but we kinda stopped. I asked her via text message and she responded with "Hell yes!" That felt good to read. Only problem is that I hadn't thought of where I wanted to take her. So we're just going out to dinner tomorrow evening. I'm already beginning to regret it.
 
_Isaac said:
Well, I'm super shy, and I finally decided to ask this one girl out. We used to talk a bit, but we kinda stopped. I asked her via text message and she responded with "Hell yes!" That felt good to read. Only problem is that I hadn't thought of where I wanted to take her. So we're just going out to dinner tomorrow evening. I'm already beginning to regret it.
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...why?!
 
_Isaac said:
Well, I'm super shy, and I finally decided to ask this one girl out. We used to talk a bit, but we kinda stopped. I asked her via text message and she responded with "Hell yes!" That felt good to read. Only problem is that I hadn't thought of where I wanted to take her. So we're just going out to dinner tomorrow evening. I'm already beginning to regret it.
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Sounds good. She said "Hell Yes!", so she's already quite happy. If it was "Ok.." then you'd be likely to lose her if you didn't blow her mind. Should go fine, don't be a downer>:|
 
_Isaac said:
Well, I'm super shy, and I finally decided to ask this one girl out. We used to talk a bit, but we kinda stopped. I asked her via text message and she responded with "Hell yes!" That felt good to read. Only problem is that I hadn't thought of where I wanted to take her. So we're just going out to dinner tomorrow evening. I'm already beginning to regret it.
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hey dude, she sounds more excited than you do! just get hyped, put on a pressed shirt and have fun

ain't nothing to it



*channel bdizzle*

you probably won't regret it when that bitch is gargling your nuts

/bdizzle
 
_Isaac said:
Well, I'm super shy, and I finally decided to ask this one girl out. We used to talk a bit, but we kinda stopped. I asked her via text message and she responded with "Hell yes!" That felt good to read. Only problem is that I hadn't thought of where I wanted to take her. So we're just going out to dinner tomorrow evening. I'm already beginning to regret it.
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Sounds like she wants to go out, dont be down!

Dinner/Movie is always a good combo to do if your not really sure into what she likes for dates.
 
Corran Horn said:
Sounds like she wants to go out, dont be down!

Dinner/Movie is always a good combo to do if your not really sure into what she likes for dates.
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No movies. Do coffee/tea, go for a walk
 
hectorse said:
It's like that other day I was chatting this totally hot girl online and she was like

"And my ex boyfriend and bla bla bla"

and then I said

"Hey shut up, give me your phone number!"
"wow! I thought you'd enver ask :D it's (wtf)wtf-wtff"
"Are you around?"
"I'm on vacation, call me when I get back tomorrow"

creepy.png


indeed
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Indeed indeed.

Anyway, what's done is done. I'll just try to make it fun tomorrow.
 
I've been talking to a girl online for 3 years (yes, really) and have never met her despite the fact that she lives only 15 minutes away from me, although she did move to New York for a year and also down south (UK) for university. She has said to me a few times 'we should meet' but it's always like at the end of the conversation so we don't discuss it further.

I have self confidence issues which she does not know about, or if she does then it does not seem to bother her...problem is she's the cutest girl I've seen in my life (serious) and looks like a model, she has never asked for a pic of me so I assume she is not interested in me anyway, she has asked me if I wanted to go watch anime with her though :lol . I was thinking of meeting up with her when she finishes uni in September as she is planning on travelling the world afterwards, buuuut I don't think it would go too well...maybe living a 'safe' fantasy in your head is better than taking a chance and possibly ruining everything?

BTW, I did meet a girl that I was chatting to online one time, I did not really want to meet her but she insisted. We went out once, to an art gallery. I could tell she was bored and did not speak to me the whole time, then afterwards she never spoke to me or send me a text again, so you can understand why I would be hesitant to try it again.
 
How do I get into a fuck-buddy/friend with benefits situation?

I feel like every girl I date wants to spend all this time with me and all I want to do is fuck with no strings attached. I have many "girl friends" but I'm not flirty with any of them, even the ones I would fuck; if anything, it's the other way around. Is there a tactful way to do this and avoid getting kicked in the nuts at the same time?

"so... when are you going to let me hit that?"
 
I've got two weeks till I start back to school. Any material that has some great advice I could apply next semester? I'd say my biggest sticking point is escalating in a high energy environment like bars and clubs. This past semester I've gotten my confidence rock solid and practiced adding value and creating rapport when meeting new people in a quick and efficient manner. My main focus was becoming the guy that adds value to every interaction and has to ability to make everyone feel damn good about themselves and have a great time. I've skimped on the sexual attraction part and I'm looking to tighten that up this semester. Focusing on creating attraction in high energy environments like bars and clubs is at the top of my list. I look forward to starting intermediate sexual attraction this semester.
 
hectorse said:
Wait I don't understand.

You are dating girls or are you don't?
Do you fuck your girlfriends but don't want to be with them?
Or are you not even trying to fuck them?
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I'm not dating anyone right now. Last relationship ended in the summer. I'm content being single but I want something on the side with no strings attached.

I'm not at all flirty with my girl friends (I should have said female friends to clarify) even when they are flirty with me so if I suddenly made a move it would be out of character and they'd probably take me way too seriously.

I guess what I'm asking is, to those of you in friends with benefits situations, how did you go about getting into it? I don't think I can do it without being put in the "boyfriend" category by default when I make a move.
 
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