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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
- Thread starter Combine
- Start date
- Status
Okay so made out with the girl I've been seeing for the last month (taking things REALLLLLLLL slow which I'm fine with) but before we made out she wanted it known that she liked me a lot and said it kinda sucks that I'm not as big into my faith as she is. To the point where she says she can't see herself with someone who isn't big into their faith. Warning bells went off but then we continued to talk and made out so wtf. I see this ending poorly but somehow don't want to bail out even though I should.
GAF bail out?
GAF bail out?
The_Inquisitor
Member
TheBranca18 said:
It won't work out in long run. She's going to tell you she is ok with you not being nearly as religious at first. However as you two get more and more serious, her very religious family and friends will begin to nudge her until you'll have to make a choice between your beliefs and keeping her.
I've seen it happen before, and it's not pretty. How into her faith is she?
MoxManiac said:
I don't think it's a good idea to disclose your income. You're basically saying that hey "this is how much my salary is" and it kind of makes you look desperate, in that you need to display your salary to gain a womans' attention. Especially for online dating where anyone can see your profile, I'd say it would be a terrible idea, but that's just my opinion.
The_Inquisitor
Member
TheBranca18 said:
You are so fucked. :lol :lol :lol
Don't get me wrong I am Christian, but I don't think you need to flaunt your faith to get a heads up in heaven. It makes religion feel like an MTV show, and almost is disrespectful.
You guys are right. And yet I don't think I'm gonna bail out and I don't know why. :lol I'm such an idiot sometimes.
The sad thing is I'm a Christian too, I just don't believe in going to Church and repeating the same things ad nauseum. I'm more private about that stuff and she believes in that community a lot.
The sad thing is I'm a Christian too, I just don't believe in going to Church and repeating the same things ad nauseum. I'm more private about that stuff and she believes in that community a lot.
TheBranca18 said:
There wouldn't be a problem, if she didn't say "I love God more than anyone else including myself." She's making it sound as though God is the most important thing in her life, which isn't necessarily wrong, but if she can say that, basically everyone in her life including family is less important even though she can actually relate to them on Earth. Now if she thinks of her family like that, i doubt she thinks much of you. You're basically setting yourself up for disaster. :-(
X-Burner said:
Yeah I kinda agree and that's what set warning bells going off in my head. It just sucks because she's a wonderful person and I love spending time with her. I've always been more of a pragmatic Christian (God forgive me!) so it's been an adjustment living in the South.
TheBranca18 said:
Well, if you truly believe you have a shot at it. Then by all means go for it! :lol. It's just my opinion of what i believe is the possible outcome of this relationship. My advice would be to just take things slow with her. I've been in a similar situation where a girl believed God was more important than our relationship so i guess that's why I'm thinking it might be a bad idea. But you never know, maybe things could work out great for the both of you.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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Mike Works
Member
alright!deadbeef said:
fuck you!
BronzeWolf
Banned
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The_Inquisitor
Member
Hehe hell yea. I'm just going to say Skype is a fantastic tool. She has not so subtely hinted that she wouldn't mind being asked out before spending some alone time with me back in my room. I played it cool with her however and told her in response something along the lines of "I plead the 5th" :lol :lol :lol :lol She gave me this frustrated smile that simply make parts of me buzz like they haven't in a long time. Again, you can't be so straightforward. You gotta tease a little. Let's just say I got a few visual "rewards" tonight.
I haven't felt this connected to a girl in god knows how long. In fact, I feel more connected now than my previous GF ever did. But again, this is just initial excitement and I just gotta play it cool. Never dated an asian girl before so this should be fun.
I haven't felt this connected to a girl in god knows how long. In fact, I feel more connected now than my previous GF ever did. But again, this is just initial excitement and I just gotta play it cool. Never dated an asian girl before so this should be fun.
Glass Soldier
Banned
Sooo GAF... I've been chatting to this girl for several weeks and while we both considered being in some kind of "internet friendship" (explanation comes later) we've been seeing each other lately and it's become pretty apparent that we're both attracted to each other. The thing is though...
Her brother is a good friend of mine and I practically know her nearest family. Is this a problem?
Her brother is a good friend of mine and I practically know her nearest family. Is this a problem?
chicko1983
Member
ah, my first post in the OT section.
I have got a date with a girl this Wednesday. This will be the first girl I have met in person through online dating (been online for about 6mths). I have found it good as I don't ever make the first move if I am at a bar but am fine if a girl is talking to me - its just that first move I can't make.
She seems very intelligent and funny and we have a similar musical tastes, I cant wait to meet her in person. I hope she isn't taller than me, I have never asked her her height and I am only 5"6'!
A couple of mates got me onto the site I met her on after they both hooked up with girls from it. Its free and has a lot of online people always online in my area. I suppose the bad sign is they no longer go out with those girls they met on the site.
I'll let you know how it goes after Wednesday.
I have got a date with a girl this Wednesday. This will be the first girl I have met in person through online dating (been online for about 6mths). I have found it good as I don't ever make the first move if I am at a bar but am fine if a girl is talking to me - its just that first move I can't make.
She seems very intelligent and funny and we have a similar musical tastes, I cant wait to meet her in person. I hope she isn't taller than me, I have never asked her her height and I am only 5"6'!
A couple of mates got me onto the site I met her on after they both hooked up with girls from it. Its free and has a lot of online people always online in my area. I suppose the bad sign is they no longer go out with those girls they met on the site.
I'll let you know how it goes after Wednesday.
Combine said:
Hey Combine, just a thought that ran through my head while reading the above. You seem to be a very picky guy. You have very specific interests and hobbies, you have very specific requirements for what you will and won't try out and have fun at, and from what I'm reading you expect a girl to be at least above average looking or you won't bother. On the other hand, you seem to hope for a lot of understanding, acceptance, and.... I don't know how else to put it..... "mercy" from your friends and potential love interests regarding your experience, appearance, and social behavior.
Would you agree with that? Do you see how the two sides wouldn't really match up?
The_Inquisitor
Member
djtiesto said:
Omg, I read the second post and almost died laughing in my lab. :lol :lol
The_Inquisitor said:
Yeah, the Roissy blog is fun to read, and has occasional good advice. Though keep in mind he is extremely blunt and has a very specific (and not terribly accurate) worldview. And quite a number of the regular commenters are scary paleoconservative, racist, and misogynistic.
The Borecast episode on deconstructing Roissy (it's one of the earlier ones, I think ep 3 or 4) was very good too.
hectorse said:
Did you ever think she intentionally made out with you when she knew it would be impossible to escalate the situation from there? It's a fairly common tactic for girls who were renownd cockteases in college to do this. My friends and I sometimes talk in code so girls like this we would say "Have a cannon in center" which basically meant it looks like you hit a solid homerun but the center fielder's arm got you out at third. With the amount of codes and hand signals we use at the bars/parties you'd think we're special agents or something.
It is true, I do have very specific interests and hobbies. Regarding what I'll try and won't, it's not so much I won't try these things because I'd say something like "I know I wouldn't like them", but more like I've just had trouble finding the motivation to do so. I did try the bar scene, but I guess that didn't work out too well, which is unfortunate. But without any tolerance for liquor, that scene really makes no sense.Slo said:
I guess I'm not exactly sure what an "Average" girl looks like these days as well. I have a feeling that varies depending on location (who knows what "average" is in the USA these days with all the obese people around). I'd obviously prefer someone who is health conscious and lives a relatively healthy lifestyle, but on the flip-side, I would be hard pressed to relate to say, a complete vegan as a meat-eater myself.
I don't expect any "mercy" from my non-existent friends or potentials regarding my own preferences and lifestyle. Hell, I don't expect understanding or tolerance either. I have very little faith and hope in people as is. My ideals are far far removed from what is the norm it would seem, and in that case, expecting someone to come along and be alright with that, well, would be most peculiar.
Still, I won't give up. If opportunity comes my way (and I'm smart enough to recognize it as such), hopefully I will be able to pursue it.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
Combine, do you think you're extra picky because you're extra picky, or do you think you're picky because it's sort of a defense mechanism in dealing with rejection, fear, or any kind of psychological issue you might have in regards to approaching women?
yep, if you had a 2nd chick you liked, you would have been like "man fuck it, I'm dealing with your loony ass!"
it's the power of options. once you know you have them, you'll not put up with a lot of shit.
hectorse said:
yep, if you had a 2nd chick you liked, you would have been like "man fuck it, I'm dealing with your loony ass!"
it's the power of options. once you know you have them, you'll not put up with a lot of shit.
TheSchwab_7
Member
So here's the situation I'm in.....
After a few weeks of this girl always sitting next to me in class, and me being an idiot and not saying one word to her... I finally talked to her one day before class and now we always chat before and after class.
Here is my problem: I can't tell whether or not she's into me. We've been flirting a bit but I am absolutely terrible at picking up signals. My problem in the past has been moving too fast, so I'd rather take things slower, but not too slow to seem like I'm not interested. When there's an awkward silence or something she usually asks me something about myself or just says anything to start a conversation again, which surprises me all the time because girls never do this with me :lol
Anyway, we have a midterm next Monday so my plan is asking her to go to Panera or something to study. Thoughts? Also I don't have her number.
After a few weeks of this girl always sitting next to me in class, and me being an idiot and not saying one word to her... I finally talked to her one day before class and now we always chat before and after class.
Here is my problem: I can't tell whether or not she's into me. We've been flirting a bit but I am absolutely terrible at picking up signals. My problem in the past has been moving too fast, so I'd rather take things slower, but not too slow to seem like I'm not interested. When there's an awkward silence or something she usually asks me something about myself or just says anything to start a conversation again, which surprises me all the time because girls never do this with me :lol
Anyway, we have a midterm next Monday so my plan is asking her to go to Panera or something to study. Thoughts? Also I don't have her number.
Beer Monkey
Member
Combine said:
You know, it's entirely possible to go to a bar and drink club soda with lime and chat up women with great success.
Alternately even a lightweight, unless they have an actual acohol allergy, can easily nurse a Guiness per hour without getting drunk.
practice02
Banned
Just start hanging out with women from work break down the situation to them and just hang out. use them like practice but be up front about the intentions and continue to work your way from that. Based on what you are saying I assume you don't have a lot of female friends make some and it will get easier to talk to ladies that you want to feel up.Combine said:And by begin, I mean it in the most literal way possible.
Backstory: So, after a long long period of being a complete idiot (or maybe I still am, otherwise why the thread eh?) and never having any contact at all with women, I finally realize now that, I would like to try and change that. But sadly, I'm not young and don't have a clue where to start. I've also got some handicaps that would appear to make things much more difficult (don't like to drink, not too much into the whole bar/big party scene).
I've started online dating, but it's kind of off-putting with all the calculations and categorizations that it comes down to, and that kind of leaves a bad taste. Also, it seems most women on these sites who are my age are looking to "settle down" and that's exactly the opposite of what I want to do.
But I guess what really scares me is, I got no clue how to actually "talk" to girls. I don't know what to say, or when to say it. Am I saying the right thing or not? It just frustrates me that I cannot seem to get over that, well, anxiety I guess. Maybe I need therapy.
So I guess, I was just hoping that I could maybe get something out of this thread before I go and spend a lot of money on a therapist. Or maybe I'm just beyond hope at this point (hence the desperation in making a topic).
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
practice02 said:
:lol your like 6000 posts too late to be quoting the OP
practice02
Banned
whoa didn't notice the thread was this big just trying to drop some knowledge.bdizzle said:
SlasherJPC
Banned
Does anyone else just get fed up with woman in general in random bouts? I sure the hell am right now. For example, I'm so far from wanting any sort of relationship other then something strictly physical and with decently attractive woman only. I have a few potentials that seem like sweet girls but DAMN I just don't want that commitment or to even give the idea of that off. My mentality is... "wanna have some fun" and nothing more. Granted I wouldn't tell a girl otherwise just to get in her pants... but still... thats all I want currently. :lol
Granted this seems to be a typical male feeling. Its somewhat the first time for me to feel this way and so strongly. I think it could just be all the fucked up relationships I've been in. I don't want to deal with any more of that sort of shit anytime soon. So yeah. Is this how all guys get this way? :lol
I sure the hell am right now. For example, I'm so far from wanting any sort of relationship other then something strictly physical and with decently attractive woman only. I have a few potentials that seem like sweet girls but DAMN I just don't want that commitment or to even give the idea of that off. My mentality is... "wanna have some fun" and nothing more. Granted I wouldn't tell a girl otherwise just to get in her pants... but still... thats all I want currently. :lol Granted this seems to be a typical male feeling. Its somewhat the first time for me to feel this way and so strongly. I think it could just be all the fucked up relationships I've been in. I don't want to deal with any more of that sort of shit anytime soon. So yeah. Is this how all guys get this way? :lol
Hmm, it could very well be either case, or perhaps a combination of both combined. I honestly do not know if it is "rejection" that prevents me from approaching women now. Rejection is something I've lived with for a long time so I don't think it'd be any surprise to me. I could accept that it could very well be psychological in that I may still be intimidated by women. But I'm not going to say that I'm not picky, at least as far as first physical impressions go by. Because after all, the only thing you have to go on from another person at the start is their physical appearance.bdizzle said:
I know, I did that last time, but I still just really really dislike alcohol. I dislike the taste and the effects that it does to me. Maybe I haven't found the "right balance" of what I'm supposed to ingest, but I sure haven't had any luck with it so far. And it's done nothing for me that would make me eager to keep trying it.beermonkey@tehbias said:
I don't think I've ever drank club soda, but if it's anything like carbonated water I'd not like it much.
Hehe, I know you might have already noticed how old that one was. Sadly I'm no longer employed so I cannot chat up women at work (although, from what I've been reading here it's not good to do that) and no, I have never had a "female friend".practice02 said:
practice02
Banned
That is not a weird feeling whatsoever. Just before I met my current long time girlfriend I went through one of those phases, and before that I just wanted to be left the fuck alone for half a year. there is nothing wrong with having a few girls around to have a good time with. It's just you need to keep 2 things in mind. 1. be up front don't lead on that you are looking to be boyfriend and girlfriend. This is for everyone. You will learn that lesson once and it will cost you a new phone number and a back windshield. 2. If you are doing this don't be surprised if one night you see one of these ladies out having a good time with someone else. Also make sure you are in the right mind don't use these people as dependents. Don't borrow money don't go to there parents house and no long trips together weekends are fine but past that you are getting into a relationship or sending out mixed messages.slasher_thrasher21 said:Does anyone else just get fed up with woman in general in random bouts?
Granted this seems to be a typical male feeling. Its somewhat the first time for me to feel this way and so strongly. I think it could just be all the fucked up relationships I've been in. I don't want to deal with any more of that sort of shit anytime soon. So yeah. Is this how all guys get this way? :lol
SlasherJPC
Banned
practice02 said:
Yeah I just don't want to deal with shit anymore imo, at least not in the mindset to really deal with that sort of thing at all right now. I am currently moving into a new place, getting back into my social circle and the last thing I want is someone coming along and destroying anything and everything I've just spent my time building back up. Good point on just being up front. I actually told the one girl already that I'm not looking to get involved with anyone remotely soon and that sex is just sex...and fun. She seemed to be alright with me saying that. She still texts me to hang with her and her friends. But I swear if she gets any funny ideas (and you know woman do) I def won't be hanging out with her again.
practice02
Banned
Don't flirt, just talk casually. And fix that man make friends with a girl nothing more women will always help you it's the mothering nature of them. Not to mention girls have friend that are also girls and friends hooking you up with friends is a good thing takes some of the edge off since you can kind of find out what they are into so you can have subjects for conversation.Combine said:
If you're concerned with her not actually hearing what you are saying i.e. "no relationship"slasher_thrasher21 said:Yeah I just don't want to deal with shit anymore imo, at least not in the mindset to really deal with that sort of thing at all right now. I am currently moving into a new place, getting back into my social circle and the last thing I want is someone coming along and destroying anything and everything I've just spent my time building back up. Good point on just being up front. I actually told the one girl already that I'm not looking to get involved with anyone remotely soon and that sex is just sex...and fun. She seemed to be alright with me saying that. She still texts me to hang with her and her friends. But I swear if she gets any funny ideas (and you know woman do) I def won't be hanging out with her again.
and this is going to sound fucked up, but I've been in your shoes. Don't respond to her texts and what not for awhile and like a few days or a week later respond. If she makes it a really big deal. She wants more from you. Just being alright with the situation is kind of funky as well, but you're an adult use your best judgement.
slasher_thrasher21 said:Does anyone else just get fed up with woman in general in random bouts?
Granted this seems to be a typical male feeling. Its somewhat the first time for me to feel this way and so strongly. I think it could just be all the fucked up relationships I've been in. I don't want to deal with any more of that sort of shit anytime soon. So yeah. Is this how all guys get this way? :lol
I think that is why men get that way. They start off with good intentions, end up in fucked up relationships, then want nothing more than the sex. Honestly, I don't see it as a problem anymore. If you truly connect with someone on a higher level then that is when a relationship should start because you wont have any second thoughts. I'm finding "I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment but lets see where it goes" tends to work pretty well. No expectations, you aren't leading anyone on, and it leaves the possibility for more, should it become a mutual agreement.
Being a victim of being led on, I implore you to be honest/open with the person you are with. They will respect you more for it and you wont have any WTF situations to worry about.
SlasherJPC
Banned
Exhumed said:
Yeah, and personally Ive been severly fucked over in the past with alot of this stuff. I mean one of the problem in my town is that is rather small. Lots of people know lots of the same people, etc. I mean its not like insanely small but small enough for situations like that to happen and it just makes the whole dating/meeting people situation here a little stupid. The only hopes is that someone from outta town new comes here (I live in a highly influenced military town) or go out to the next biggest city which is about a hours drive away.
So I just basically decided that its me time. Not at all going to focus on the woman aspect. I agree with the clicking with thing. I mean I've met some cool girls already but I mean nothing that felt awesome or "clicky" and I'm not going to instigate anything further with these woman especially when I feel nothing. Go figure.
practice02
Banned
is the closest city san francisco?slasher_thrasher21 said:
SlasherJPC
Banned
practice02 said:
No hardly. Tucson, Arizona. Though I take trips to Cali when I can.:lol
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
Combine said:
When you see someone you intially find attractive, what goes through your head? Do you ever start looking for things you don't like about her
sharp knees?
BronzeWolf
Banned
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Anddddddd bail out is complete.
BTW, why do girls say that they still want to see and hang out with you after we basically broke up? I've known this girl not even a month and she still wants to hang out? Hey I have sexual feelings about you I don't want to hang out and get blue balls every time, thanks.
BTW, why do girls say that they still want to see and hang out with you after we basically broke up? I've known this girl not even a month and she still wants to hang out? Hey I have sexual feelings about you I don't want to hang out and get blue balls every time, thanks.
BladeWorker
Member
I get fed up with men from time to time, so yeah, can't say that I wouldn't expect it from the other side too. :lolslasher_thrasher21 said:
Let me try and remember. I think, one of the very first things I do when I see a girl who I find attractive is look around her to see if she's already with someone, since I believe my first thought would be that girls who are attractive are already taken. Usually I find that she looks really busy or is really engaged in a conversation already, or is talking on the phone or texting.bdizzle said:
Then I start trying to think up ways to approach her if she's alone or unattended, and usually it doesn't take to long before someone else approaches her and begins another conversation. If I see an attractive girl but there's a guy somewhat close by, I'd automatically assume she's taken. But then it also comes down to me not knowing what to say or being able to think of truthful things I could tell her about myself that'd be interesting.
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