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[border]

I haven't checked into this topic in a while, but here is a SAD STORY incoming for the sadists in the thread:

Went out for drinks with a girl who filled in from another department at work. We closed down the bar, she can't get into her apartment (she probably could have gotten in but had some weird excuse about not wanting to wake her roommate up), I offer to let her sleep at my place, she accepts. We go back to my apartment, talk for a great deal of time and have a few more beers. She seems like a perfect match for me.....no lulls in the conversation, she's laughing, I'm laughing, we're in agreement on a number of normal "dealbreaker" issues for relationships. I don't really make any moves because she may or may not become a mainstay at the office, and she says she is not really interested in a boyfriend. I figure that it's better to see how things pan out at work, play it cool, bide my time, etc. At the same time, I'm not so big on sleeping with people I've known for less than 48 hours and I didn't have any condoms in the house. So I let her get to sleep.

In retrospect I am hating life for just not saying "Fuck it," as much as workplace romance can turn your job into a nightmare. Just a few days later it seems like she's completely cooled to me. Doesn't want to hang out in the evening when I suggest it because she's working the next day, but then texts me the next day saying she was doing other stuff with other people. I'm too old for all this SMS/text garbage -- just because I can never tell if a brief, cold message is just someone in a hurry or if I'm getting blown off. Every message is a new damned puzzle and as much as I think the next response is going to bring answers they only bring new weird questions.

Have I just completely screwed it up by rejecting what was a very obvious sexual advance? Or maybe she just doesn't want things to move so fast? Are my expectations simply too high?

 

[grumble]

I haven't checked into this topic in a while, but here is a SAD STORY incoming for the sadists in the thread:

Went out for drinks with a girl who filled in from another department at work. We closed down the bar, she can't get into her apartment (she probably could have gotten in but had some weird excuse about not wanting to wake her roommate up), I offer to let her sleep at my place, she accepts. We go back to my apartment, talk for a great deal of time and have a few more beers. She seems like a perfect match for me.....no lulls in the conversation, she's laughing, I'm laughing, we're in agreement on a number of normal "dealbreaker" issues for relationships. I don't really make any moves because she may or may not become a mainstay at the office, and she says she is not really interested in a boyfriend. I figure that it's better to see how things pan out at work, play it cool, bide my time, etc. At the same time, I'm not so big on sleeping with people I've known for less than 48 hours and I didn't have any condoms in the house. So I let her get to sleep.

In retrospect I am hating life for just not saying "Fuck it," as much as workplace romance can turn your job into a nightmare. Just a few days later it seems like she's completely cooled to me. Doesn't want to hang out in the evening when I suggest it because she's working the next day, but then texts me the next day saying she was doing other stuff with other people. I'm too old for all this SMS/text garbage -- just because I can never tell if a brief, cold message is just someone in a hurry or if I'm getting blown off. Every message is a new damned puzzle and as much as I think the next response is going to bring answers they only bring new weird questions.

Have I just completely screwed it up by rejecting what was a very obvious sexual advance? Or maybe she just doesn't want things to move so fast? Are my expectations simply too high?

You rejected her sexually, so she'll either think that you're gay, a coward or that you and her just don't mesh. Either way, she'll feel rejected, and will cool to you somewhat. I'm kind of wondering the same thing; it's pretty fucking obvious what you should have done when a woman sleeps at your place, and you were a wuss. I think you've learned your lesson though (and will buy condoms), and won't repeat that mistake.

That being said, she isn't necessarily not an option anymore. You don't know whether or not she's cold or not, and I'd say you should give it some time to make things clearer. Stay the course, keep things up, ask her out on a date and you'll be able to give it another shot.

You do know that sadist means someone who like to inflict pain on others?

 

[Aesius]

You rejected her sexually, so she'll either think that you're gay, a coward or that you and her just don't mesh. Either way, she'll feel rejected, and will cool to you somewhat. I'm kind of wondering the same thing; it's pretty fucking obvious what you should have done when a woman sleeps at your place, and you were a wuss. I think you've learned your lesson though (and will buy condoms), and won't repeat that mistake.

That being said, she isn't necessarily not an option anymore. You don't know whether or not she's cold or not, and I'd say you should give it some time to make things clearer. Stay the course, keep things up, ask her out on a date and you'll be able to give it another shot.

You do know that sadist means someone who like to inflict pain on others?

Harsh but true. Girls know exactly what's up if they stay the night at a guy's house. If said guy doesn't make a move, they will go find another one who will.

 

[border]

2 days later she wanted to go out again (didn't happen just due to circumstances), so I wasn't entirely sure what to make of it. It's been in the time since that things seem to have cooled.

Honestly, even if I'd had condoms in the joint I doubt I would have done anything since I value my job and she may end up being a direct subordinate of mine. I think it was on her mind as well since I got a message after that night that asked "How likely is it that I'll be moving to your department?" At the time I thought it was just her hoping to move up in the company, but in retrospect it was maybe her asking about the viability of things continuing.....or her challenging me to just roll the dice.

At the moment I think she's only interested in hooking up, so it's maybe better that I didn't do anything. I already feel pretty attached to her without much physical connection, and if she'd just be moving on to the next boy it'd probably hurt worth than this does right now.

EDIT: Oh, and yeah, I know what a sadist is. I just couldn't think of any other word for "people who delight in other's misfortune". In retrospect I shoulda said "For schaeudenfraude lovers" :lol

 

[jamesinclair]

border, you made the right call.

Career >>>>>>>>> hookup with girl you just met

 

[border]

Well the sad thing is it's not a career -- the pay is garbage and the advancement opportunities do not interest me. I do it because I love everyone I work with and rarely if ever have a bad day. Mostly I just don't want to get fired/transferred over a hookup, nor do I want the tension of working with someone I used to sleep with. The sad thing is if the girl pans out to being as good as I think she is, I'd gladly resign or take a transfer....but she pretty explicitly said she wasn't looking for anything definite (perhaps it was just a come-on).

I feel like such a girl over the whole thing though, and I guess it's made me realize that this is the sort of crappy lose-lose situation women get forced into all the time. Sleep with person who isn't interested in a relationship and you end up torturing yourself -- don't sleep with them and watch them go elsewhere, also torturing you.

 

[Broseybrose]

Border, if its really torturing you, be straight up with her. Tell her why you didnt make a move the night she stayed over, she should respect your level-headedness. Tell her you been thinking about her constantly ever since and you want to see where it goes with her. Dont let her go on thinking that you arent interested.

Thats what i would do, at least.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Did combine ever get some ass yet?

:lol never gets old.

 

[Chinner]

Danj: I have immediate advice for you, assuming the pic of you in the avatar is still fairly accurate. Shave the mustache and keep it shaved. Even if you feel you look awkward without it or think it compliments your eyes or whatever... girls don't like mustaches 99.2% of the time and, recently, they've become associated with what one might call a "creeper". Shave the 'stache sir, and you'll be one step closer to where you want to be.

100% truth.

 

[BladeWorker]

Sure, but for the overwhelming majority of the time, being mustachioed won't help at all. Princess Peach had a baby with Bowser before Mario. I think we all know why.

:lol Yeah, I'm a girl that doesn't dig the 'stache.

I understands that the daily shaving thing can get irritating, but the ability to paw your face as we make out sans exfoliating treatment (which, let's face it, that's what your stubble is, no matter how pretty you groom it) is much appreciated.

Now, if you're just lookin' to make a statement, go for it...

 

[BladeWorker]

Random note for all you boys out there looking for love in all the interwebs spaces:

If you're setting up a meet and both of you have to travel more than, say, half an hour, the relationship probably won't get off the ground.

Also, if for everything she says, you have a response of "I can't" or "That's not my thing" or "I hate that", etc, your relationship will not work out. Don't take it personally. You're just too different to be takin' up all your time trying to get to know one another.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Might sound dumb but I chatted with a lot of girls on cam recently and they all tell me I'm gorgeous. It raised my confidence for sure (but I always knew I was good looking to some extent, but I definitly have been working out more, etc., over the past few months). I need to pull my head out of the sand. But I think my trip later this year will do just that. It's a good way to get the fuck out of my comfort zone, so I think it will have a lasting positive impact.

I recommend it to Combine: once you get a job again, save some money, and take a trip to somewhere far away you've never been to, alone.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Might sound dumb but I chatted with a lot of girls on cam recently and they all tell me I'm gorgeous. It raised my confidence for sure (but I always knew I was good looking to some extent, but I definitly have been working out more, etc., over the past few months). I need to pull my head out of the sand. But I think my trip later this year will do just that. It's a good way to get the fuck out of my comfort zone, so I think it will have a lasting positive impact.

I recommend it to Combine: once you get a job again, save some money, and take a trip to somewhere far away you've never been to, alone.

disney land?

 

[Ether_Snake]

disney land?

Pretty sure that would still be in his comfort zone.

ZINGGGGGGG

Spoiler

jk

 

[border]

I'm not even sure if I'll see her again....her stint in my deparment could be ending depending on if the project ends on Monday. The messages I get are friendly ("Yeah, let's go out again soon") but get-togethers have been cancelled and re-scheduled. I can't tell if I'm just going to get blown off or not. Hard to say whether she is twisting the knife or just now playing hard to get in retaliation to my own unintentional hard-to-get routine.

At this point, what is my best course of action? Pretend it didn't happen? Apologize in person? Apologize over the phone or as a text?

Border, if its really torturing you, be straight up with her. Tell her why you didnt make a move the night she stayed over, she should respect your level-headedness. Tell her you been thinking about her constantly ever since and you want to see where it goes with her. Dont let her go on thinking that you arent interested.

"Constantly thinking about you" sounds pretty extreme, and likely to send any girl heading for the hills. If I was going to say something it'd probably be vague enough to not implicate her as intimidatingly promiscuous.....something to the extent of "I'm kind of anxious because I like you a lot and don't really want to screw up work or rush into something with someone that isn't really interested in dating."

She knows I still want to spend time together and I think she gets that I'm still interested, it's just that when we have made tentative plans she has canceled them later on.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Hey guys what do I do about the fact that I look younger than I am? I'm 27, I look 22 or so.

Guess it will a blessing when I'm older.

 

[Jhoan]

Hey remember that chick who's # I got? well I called her last Tuesday around 2pm while I was at school so we could meet up and she didn't pick up. I haven't called back ever since. My bros told me that the best time to call is in the night because in the day people are always busy, but man I'm kind of scared to call because I'm afraid that I might not have nothing to talk about and get an awkward silence. Last time I had a conversation with achick on the phone was when I was 15-16 yrs old and it was pretty terrible so I'm kinda still shaken up by that experience, although I never have any problems talking to guys on the phone and can hold a pretty decent conversation and get to the point of what I want. In this case, the whole point is to get to hang out with her. I keep procrastinating to call her, but I really wanna get it over with and put it in the past. If it goes bad, then I'll call another time, if it doesn't, then great. Is it good to call during the day, or in the night?

 

[BladeWorker]

Hey guys what do I do about the fact that I look younger than I am? I'm 27, I look 22 or so.

Guess it will a blessing when I'm older.

Throw on some old spice and a hawaiian shirt, and quote Hogan's Heroes or MASH to show your age a little.

Seriously though at least you're still in your decade. If you looked like a teenager, then you'd have a problem.

 

[Combine]

Did combine ever get some ass yet?

Afraid not. Haven't done much of anything because I've been mainly focused trying to find a job. Even when I was at the GDC, I wasn't able to really talk to anyone for social reasons, it was pure business there. I'm sure a better person would have been able to strike up a conversation with anyone about anything, but well, that's not me.

I think one thing I've sadly come to understand about myself is I'm not fond of conversing if I feel it is serving no purpose, which is incredibly vague and makes no sense. I'm going to do some thinking on it more, but that's what I thought I felt at certain points. I'm not sure.

All I know is I definitely am not one to approach strangers unless there's something I know I need to talk to them about, like a job.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Yeah it's really my face. But I have to keep on putting weight. I got muscles from working out but I need more weight.

Afraid not. Haven't done much of anything because I've been mainly focused trying to find a job. Even when I was at the GDC, I wasn't able to really talk to anyone for social reasons, it was pure business there. I'm sure a better person would have been able to strike up a conversation with anyone about anything, but well, that's not me.

I think one thing I've sadly come to understand about myself is I'm not fond of conversing if I feel it is serving no purpose, which is incredibly vague and makes no sense. I'm going to do some thinking on it more, but that's what I thought I felt at certain points. I'm not sure.

All I know is I definitely am not one to approach strangers unless there's something I know I need to talk to them about, like a job.

Do like I said. Save some cash, go somewhere far away to get out of your comfort zone.

 

[Combine]

Hmm, that'd be nice, I've always wanted to go to Japan.

Right now though, I'm off to a bar with bro and his friend. Should be another interesting experience at least.

Be back in a bit.

 

[BladeWorker]

Is it good to call during the day, or in the night?

You called her once and she didn't call back. If you darest call again, make it the last time, if she doesn't return your call.

Now that being established...

I'd call at night, if you actually are serious about reaching this girl. 8-ish. Keep it short. Don't be blathering on about the weather, your job, or how much you like chocolate cake. Now is not the time; you'll just make yourself sound like a clingy doofus. Ask her out. Arrange time and place to meet. Say goodnight. And mean it.

If you've set up the date for days upon days in advance, one confirmation call or text is permissable, 24 hours prior to the date. Again, short and to the point.

 

[border]

RANDOM TIP:

If you are uncomfortable talking with girls, try talking with female bartenders. Don't be creepy and try to hit on them, but just chatter a bit. They work on tips and aren't often that busy (find a slower bar, obviously).....so they won't shoot you down or give you the cold shoulder, but don't expect them to put out either -- it's just a practice exercise to keep you in shape. Find subtle ways to compliment them and keep a topic going.

 

[TomServo]

Hey guys what do I do about the fact that I look younger than I am? I'm 27, I look 22 or so.

Guess it will a blessing when I'm older.

Yup. 31. Dating a 23 year old. Fucking hot.

 

[industrian]

Hmm, that'd be nice, I've always wanted to go to Japan.

You have a hard enough time communicating with girls that know the same language as you do bro. Just saying.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Afraid not. Haven't done much of anything because I've been mainly focused trying to find a job. Even when I was at the GDC, I wasn't able to really talk to anyone for social reasons, it was pure business there. I'm sure a better person would have been able to strike up a conversation with anyone about anything, but well, that's not me.

I think one thing I've sadly come to understand about myself is I'm not fond of conversing if I feel it is serving no purpose, which is incredibly vague and makes no sense. I'm going to do some thinking on it more, but that's what I thought I felt at certain points. I'm not sure.

All I know is I definitely am not one to approach strangers unless there's something I know I need to talk to them about, like a job.

that's your problem, you're thinking too much. you don't have to have a reason to do something as menial as saying "hi"

get out of your head, that's 99% of your problems.

I tried going to a club tonite, but they was on some bullshit so i just went home. Pissed as hell man. I was planning on taking a broad home and gettin some head. I hate this punk ass city man.

 

[Danj]

Danj: I have immediate advice for you, assuming the pic of you in the avatar is still fairly accurate. Shave the mustache and keep it shaved. Even if you feel you look awkward without it or think it compliments your eyes or whatever... girls don't like mustaches 99.2% of the time and, recently, they've become associated with what one might call a "creeper". Shave the 'stache sir, and you'll be one step closer to where you want to be.

100% truth.

:lol Yeah, I'm a girl that doesn't dig the 'stache.

I understands that the daily shaving thing can get irritating, but the ability to paw your face as we make out sans exfoliating treatment (which, let's face it, that's what your stubble is, no matter how pretty you groom it) is much appreciated.

Now, if you're just lookin' to make a statement, go for it...

I guess I need a better electric shaver then - anyone got any recommendations for one that's rechargable, can be used for shaving moustaches off as well as just regular shaving, and is available in the UK without having to pay an arm and a leg? (check places like argos.co.uk or johnlewis.com for prices).

 

[TomServo]

I tried going to a club tonite, but they was on some bullshit so i just went home. Pissed as hell man. I was planning on taking a broad home and gettin some head. I hate this punk ass city man.

Should have been w/ me tonight.

Previously mentioned girl runs up and kisses me as soon as I walk into the club, I'm saying hello to all of her friends, guess it caused some random girls to take notice of the friend that came in with me.

Nice looking girl grabs him by his belt buckle, tells him "I'm here by myself tonight and need some company tonight." Too fucking easy.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Should have been w/ me tonight.

Previously mentioned girl runs up and kisses me as soon as I walk into the club, I'm saying hello to all of her friends, guess it caused some random girls to take notice of the friend that came in with me.

Nice looking girl grabs him by his belt buckle, tells him "I'm here by myself tonight and need some company tonight." Too fucking easy.

fuck you

im gonna go play street fighter

 

[industrian]

Just as I was about to be discharged from hospital on Tuesday, one of my nurses (the one that spoke decent-enough English so was always called on to talk to me if I needed something) told me she lived in the same apartment building as me and gave me her apartment number.

I've been busy with shit, and she works weird hours, but I'll see about getting something on for next week. I've only got two months left in Korea, but I'll see how far it goes.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Just as I was about to be discharged from hospital on Tuesday, one of my nurses (the one that spoke decent-enough English so was always called on to talk to me if I needed something) told me she lived in the same apartment building as me and gave me her apartment number.

I've been busy with shit, and she works weird hours, but I'll see about getting something on for next week. I've only got two months left in Korea, but I'll see how far it goes.

make sure you leave with either aids or a baby on the way

 

[clav]

I guess I need a better electric shaver then - anyone got any recommendations for one that's rechargable, can be used for shaving moustaches off as well as just regular shaving, and is available in the UK without having to pay an arm and a leg? (check places like argos.co.uk or johnlewis.com for prices).

Go manual.

I started off with electric and shaved with it for about 10 years. Then I switched to a double-edge safety razor.

Wow. A world of difference.

 

[industrian]

make sure you leave with either aids or a baby on the way

I think I need to be in the US Armed Forces to be eligible for that bonus plan.

 

[Combine]

You have a hard enough time communicating with girls that know the same language as you do bro. Just saying.

Well, I was just thinking of it in terms of a vacation, nothing more. I didn't realize at the time that bdizzle was implying it for meeting girls.

Anyway, another uneventful night. But I suppose that's worse than a bad night. Pretty much nothing happened, though that's because I probably didn't want anything. GDC wore me out for the week and I'm just exhausted and drained.

Still, it's tough just standing in the bar and trying to wonder what I'm supposed to be doing. I listen to some conversations but they are so dull and boring, and I want absolutely nothing to do with them.

I was also averting eye contact like mad tonight. I guess I really just wasn't in the mood for anything. Only had one beer since I was designated driver for the night anyway. Yet I still feel like I have a headache now just from that.

I sometimes wonder if I deep down just really don't want to meet any girls. Maybe I was just lying to myself thinking it was what I wanted. If I really really wanted it, like say I've really really wanted a cool videogame in the past and of course made sure I got it ASAP when it was available, wouldn't I have done something with an initiative to obtain it in this case?

But then, why do I feel so sad a lot of the time?

Maybe I just have a headache.

that's your problem, you're thinking too much. you don't have to have a reason to do something as menial as saying "hi".

I think I do need a reason to say Hi. Because, and I think this is a family trait. We usually don't like doing things without a reason or something. I dunno, I just have trouble being able to say "hi" to someone, especially when there's no opportunity to do so.

 

[half a moon]

Hey guys. Haven't wrote anything in this thread before.

Thought I'd ask for some advice:

Every time I go to class I get reminded how unsuccessful I am academically and socially. I'm 22 and I want to improve those things along with my weight. Right now my college GPA is getting dangerously low. Looks like I'll fail this semester again. I took some time off within the past year when I had to withdrawal a semester. But, I started having chest pains daily. I had various doctor appointments and eventually had gallbladder surgery. So, my time off was spent being stressed out constantly and worried about my health with anxiety getting to me.

Discipline and will power is an obvious thing to help my weight and academics. I keep failing to make a groove since they are so low, and having to catch up in school is a huge hurdle.

As far as social skills go.. My weight embarrass me. Approach anxiety, stress with school, and unhappiness all hurt improving my social life. I constantly feel like I'm not the person I'm supposed to be. In the past I had a girlfriend. We'd communicate fine over the phone and in person. But, I didn't talk much with her family or friends. During that same time period I was really uncomfortable at a retail job. Big improvement from middle school when I couldn't even use the phone to call businesses.

For the past 2 years, I only hang out with a few different people, male and female, every few months. The reason is I never had many friends and I'm not making new ones. Some friends moved away and the ones that are left are pretty much post college business world folks that are super busy and travel a lot. I've made plans to hang out with one of the female friends soon. But, it'll still only be a few times in a one month period because of her schedule.

I need new ones. Right now, at college, we work in groups a lot. But, since I let myself get behind way behind again, I have nothing to offer sine I don't know what I'm doing and it keeps me high strung. Me weight/confidence messes with me as well.

 

[chicko1983]

Hey guys. Haven't wrote anything in this thread before.

Thought I'd ask for some advice:

Every time I go to class I get reminded how unsuccessful I am academically and socially. I'm 22 and I want to improve those things along with my weight. Right now my college GPA is getting dangerously low. Looks like I'll fail this semester again. I took some time off within the past year when I had to withdrawal a semester. But, I started having chest pains daily. I had various doctor appointments and eventually had gallbladder surgery. So, my time off was spent being stressed out constantly and worried about my health with anxiety getting to me.

Discipline and will power is an obvious thing to help my weight and academics. I keep failing to make a groove since they are so low, and having to catch up in school is a huge hurdle.

As far as social skills go.. My weight embarrass me. Approach anxiety, stress with school, and unhappiness all hurt improving my social life. I constantly feel like I'm not the person I'm supposed to be. In the past I had a girlfriend. We'd communicate fine over the phone and in person. But, I didn't talk much with her family or friends. During that same time period I was really uncomfortable at a retail job. Big improvement from middle school when I couldn't even use the phone to call businesses.

For the past 2 years, I only hang out with a few different people, male and female, every few months. The reason is I never had many friends and I'm not making new ones. Some friends moved away and the ones that are left are pretty much post college business world folks that are super busy and travel a lot. I've made plans to hang out with one of the female friends soon. But, it'll still only be a few times in a one month period because of her schedule.

I need new ones. Right now, at college, we work in groups a lot. But, since I let myself get behind way behind again, I have nothing to offer sine I don't know what I'm doing and it keeps me high strung. Me weight/confidence messes with me as well.

whats your question or what do you want advice on?

If its why you are single, its because of your anxiety to approach people because of your weight, you said that yourself. Start going for a jog each day or join a gym but only after consultation with your doctor.

About your school situation, in Australia Id say for you to "pull your finger out". Get on top of your classes by doing work, there is no other way. Its not like you are the only person that has to work hard for what they achieve academically, 99% of people have to.

 

[Chinner]

Go manual.

I started off with electric and shaved with it for about 10 years. Then I switched to a double-edge safety razor.

Wow. A world of difference.

shave like a real man. word.

 

[DJ_XMX]

Hey guys what do I do about the fact that I look younger than I am? I'm 27, I look 22 or so.

Guess it will a blessing when I'm older.

I suffer the same thing as this but i think its worse on my part am 26 and I look around 18 sometimes even younger as i get stopped going to clubs that require you to be over 18 , even when I went to get my ID card done I got told I need my parents to sign the form to have there consent .. thats for when your 16... Problem with this is that I get really young girls hitting on me while the older ones or closer to my age ignore me. On a positive note it feels gooood looking young I bet in the future it will help me out.

 

[Max@GC]

Uplifting to see that there are more people that are older but look really young. Sure there are bigger problems than that but being mainly attracted by really young girls sucks if you just want a girl of your age.

Anyway...I have a similar story like border to tell. There´s this cute and cool girl working as a waitress in a pool bar my friends and me use to go from time to time. Her mother also works there and we both (her and her daughter) get along pretty well. In the last months I´ve been there I was just small talking with her. She told me a bit about her past and that she has gone through a lot (she´s 30 and has a kid, I´m 26 and look like 19/20ish...with my beard on a bit older). I knew from her mother that she has a bf but that the relationship is sorta over. The thing is that I know this guy from high school. He was in my class for all these years and we were friends - not really good friends but we used to clown about stuff and played videogames together.

So I´ve asked her what´s up with her bf and if they´re still together. She replied with a 'well' face that they still live and sleep together in one bed...as friends...but sometimes it happens that...and she didn´t want to go on. You know.

So a week later I was there again and her mother approached me about her daughters 30th birthday and that she wanted to invite some friends.

I showed up at the party (gave her flowers and she was happy) and so did her bf or ex bf whatsoever. So I said to me that I should let her do her thing partying with her friends and family and talked most of the evening with her bf about old times and shit.

When the party whas about to draw to a close all in the room where a bit drunk and she came to me sending some signals...at least it seemed so. She stood in front of me while her bf was still sitting next to me to grab my cheek and said 'cute'...I said to her (laughing) that the party is pretty cool but that I´m pretty drunk so she grabbed my chin and said 'everyone is' brought me a slice of bread, broke off a piece of it and said 'absorbs the alcohol' so I ate it and smiled to her. She told me that she likes my kindness and I said to her that it´s cool but that you can be punked pretty quick if you´re too kind. She said 'punked....by women?' Me 'yeah for example'. She switched the topic. A while after that she put in some songs she liked and at some point she told me to listen to the lyrics of that k-ci & jojo song I was thinking 'fuck I´m in a dilemma right now' cuz I like to treat everyone fair and don´t wanted to approach her in front of her (still?) bf/my old school buddy like an icecold asshole because I hate that attitude and wouldn´t want that to experience myself if she was my gf and he the 'new guy'. So I pretended that I didn´t really understand the lyrics and she gave me the cd instead and said I should listen to it again calmly.

After the friends and family were all gone she, her bf and me where alone in the room talking a bit. He was clowning her that she got a bit fat lately...he´s like that...disrespectful and laughing at the weaknesses of others while he´s pretty lazy and aloof but not a bad person you know. She said to me with a smh but still a bit smiling face 'see that´s what I mean...and you don´t need to put yourself on the same level as he is'. I said that I´am not doing that and that I´am just a normal person talking to him most of the evening because we hadn´t talked for years...and she knew that. She was smoking a cig and he told her to hurry up because he had to work early in the morning she said 'well I don´t have to' and smoked another one...as if she was waiting for something.

We went outta the door and she asked me 'you´re at my best girlfriends birthday party too right?' (which is one month later) I said 'Sure I´m definitely there!' She 'and we have to talk again because of the pictures you made' (shot some pics with my dslr) Me 'sure I tell you when they´re done ok' That was the moment when I thought 'shit I need to do at least something' so I said goodbye to her, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

I´ll add another thing because I think that´s important: a couple of days later I was at the bar again and her mother was there. I showed her the pics just quickly on my dslr screen. While doing that we were talking about some random family stuff. I said to her that my mother is bit upset lately because of the death of her mom/my grandma. She 'well you should just give her a hug when she´s upset' me 'uhm I told her it will be better as time is passing by' she 'you don´t hug each other much do you' me 'not really I mean I´ve grown up differently and my parents aren´t physical at all' she 'we [her daughter and her] hug each other a lot'. I don´t know if that means something but I think it does.

Conclusion: I´m fucking confused right now. Is she serious or is she just using me to make her bf jealous? I mean the guy also has serious rheumatism that has increased over the years and her mother told me that this is bugging her a lot so thatswhy it could have amplified his asshole behaviour. I´m really not sure if she still has feelings for him and if I´m the lucky fool who gets used to make her attractive for him again. Any idea what I should do GAF?

 

[Ultima_5]

So on Saturday I sent her a text message inviting her to watch a movie with me. It took her a few hours to respond (she doesn't carry her phone, but despite knowing this I was really nervous until she responded :lol ). Around 9:30pm, she came over to my dorm and we watched 28 days later, and some other movie, and I think everything went well. She got a kick out of all my organic snacks I had (She's vegan, I'm just weird).

Anyway, after the movies It was about 2 in the morning, so I walked her back to her dorm. On the way back she randomly says that we should go wander downtown. We end up at a gas station, and she buys a cigar, and we keep walking. She asks if I've ever tried a cigar, and when I say no, she lets me try hers. Anyway, we get back to her dorm, and she invites me in and we talk and show each other music videos until 730 in the morning.

Do you think she has any interest?

Well she asked me to watch movies with her before I got a chance to ask her. Half way through the movie, she lunged at me, and freaked me out.... She assumed I was gay, then I corrected her. We spent the next 10 hours cuddling, and making out and what not...

 

[Ether_Snake]

Uplifting to see that there are more people that are older but look really young. Sure there are bigger problems than that but being mainly attracted by really young girls sucks if you just want a girl of your age.

To me it's actually a benefit I think. Like I said before in other threads, I didn't "live" my life like I should have for the past many years. I have been very much used to being alone since I was a little kid (no brothers or sisters, divorced parents, etc.). Lots of people can't understand how it is to grow up with no siblings, with divorced parents. It really affected me in ways I only realized recently.

But since I've decided to change everything this year and to make up for the lost time, looking young is a plus because if I didn't people would be even more weirded out by my lack of life experience. Now it gives me some margin. Like having a few extra years in my twenties before I hit 30.

That's why I want to travel more, I think it's the best thing I can do right now, especially since being a stranger will give me a sort of free pass, I'll be basically living how I should have been living here. It's gonna take a full year for things to start getting in order, but I think it's the right move.

 

[falcon522]

Well she asked me to watch movies with her before I got a chance to ask her. Half way through the movie, she lunged at me, and freaked me out.... She assumed I was gay, then I corrected her. We spent the next 10 hours cuddling, and making out and what not...

She must have really wanted you if she was willing to get all up ons a guy she thought was gay. Congrats anyway.

 

[Rayven_king]

Hey guys what do I do about the fact that I look younger than I am? I'm 27, I look 22 or so.

Guess it will a blessing when I'm older.

grow facial hair, I'm 26 and look 20 if I lose my goatee :lol

 

[SpectreFire]

Well she asked me to watch movies with her before I got a chance to ask her. Half way through the movie, she lunged at me, and freaked me out.... She assumed I was gay, then I corrected her. We spent the next 10 hours cuddling, and making out and what not...

 

[Eggo]

Well she asked me to watch movies with her before I got a chance to ask her. Half way through the movie, she lunged at me, and freaked me out.... She assumed I was gay, then I corrected her. We spent the next 10 hours cuddling, and making out and what not...

Thanks for not saying you hooked up for 10 hours. Also, congrats on finding a girl who's into you, but you have to learn how to be more bold. Girls aren't normally going to jump into your lap on a consistent basis if you're just an average joe.

 

[Scarecrow]

A gaggle of friends and I are going to a japanese steak house this week to celebrate st patty's day ( I know it doesnt make sense, but it's an annual tradition). I convinced one friend to invite his cousin, who was apparently throwing some eyes at me when we briefly met last week. She's recently moved to town. I'm going to attempt to make some conversation and hopefully things'll go well.

Some red flags: she comes from a family of computer savants. I'm not sure whether she'd enjoy or loathe any kind of nerd talk.
And most importantly, her last boyfriend died due to suicide (according to my friend, who's been known to exagerate truth). That has to mess with someone's mind a little.

Any advice?

 

[Danj]

Go manual.

I started off with electric and shaved with it for about 10 years. Then I switched to a double-edge safety razor.

Wow. A world of difference.

I'm pretty sure it costs more to run a manual razor than an electric one... you've got the cost of the razor blades, plus the cost of the shaving cream, plus the extra time it takes compared to an electric shaver... thanks for the suggestion, but I'd prefer to stick with electric, particularly if I need to start using it regularly as people here have recommended.

 

[Chinner]

I'm pretty sure it costs more to run a manual razor than an electric one... you've got the cost of the razor blades, plus the cost of the shaving cream, plus the extra time it takes compared to an electric shaver... thanks for the suggestion, but I'd prefer to stick with electric, particularly if I need to start using it regularly as people here have recommended.

thats lame. well, enjoy your sub-par cuts then. also, enjoy getting your clothes from charity shops.

 

[BladeWorker]

A gaggle of friends and I are going to a japanese steak house this week to celebrate st patty's day ( I know it doesnt make sense, but it's an annual tradition). I convinced one friend to invite his cousin, who was apparently throwing some eyes at me when we briefly met last week. She's recently moved to town. I'm going to attempt to make some conversation and hopefully things'll go well.

Some red flags: she comes from a family of computer savants. I'm not sure whether she'd enjoy or loathe any kind of nerd talk.
And most importantly, her last boyfriend died due to suicide (according to my friend, who's been known to exagerate truth). That has to mess with someone's mind a little.

Any advice?

You're not dating yet, so you don't need to ask about her past relationships. It's presumptive to do so at this juncture.

Keep it light, celebrate St Paddy's day as you normally would. Engage her in conversation on such fun topics as the origins of green beer, and let the chitchat flow from there. If you're feeling it, proceed. If not...whatever. All you've done is talk.

 

[paparazzo]

Blah, I'm still having friendship issues with the girl I posted about before and it's really starting to stress me out. After she told me a couple of months ago that she didn't want a relationship despite the way she had felt about me, I was ready to just walk away since I figured that trying to maintain a friendship with her would be too awkward. To my surprise, however, she had kept in contact with me and we were able to just talk and be friends like it never happened (though we haven't hung out since December).

But lately, things have kind of gone to hell, as our co-workers have been talking about us and asking us about our relationship, some saying they heard that we were dating and others saying they heard that we dated and then broke up. Both allegations are false, but this whole mess could have been avoided if we hadn't snapped at people when they asked about us. At any rate, one night she saw me treat the co-worker who's been starting the rumors about us and lying to us, like crap when he needed help with something. Apparently this made her pretty uncomfortable and she "hated" what she saw and is "really tired of all this" and said even though she isn't dating me it's like it's still happening since people keep telling her things about me.

And so lately, she's been distancing herself from me, or so it feels like as she hasn't texted/called in weeks and doesn't seem to care to talk at work either. I'd try calling her but she's always busy and I just don't feel very welcome to try anymore. Right now though, she is having to deal with the fact that her mother will be passing away soon, so I'm sure that's got her pretty distracted and is something I can't relate to, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in her after all that we've been through. It seems like she's willing to just let our friendship die due to what others think and say about us and it's a damn shame.