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[BladeWorker]

Right now though, she is having to deal with the fact that her mother will be passing away soon, so I'm sure that's got her pretty distracted and is something I can't relate to, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in her after all that we've been through. It seems like she's willing to just let our friendship die due to what others think and say about us and it's a damn shame.

Holy crap, how many people are involved in your relationship? Way too much drama. Step off that train by diffusing with a quick humorous response anytime someone asks you about her, or your relationship, or shitty shitty gossip. Be pleasant. Don't give the rumor mill any food, and it will start looking elsewhere.

In the meantime, if you are so inclined to say anything to her in the way of condolences or support for her mother, say so, then let it be.

By the way, the massive drama, the rumor mill, and the entire office getting involved in your relationship are the precise reasons why workcest should be verboten.

 

[whitehawk]

.

 

[paparazzo]

Holy crap, how many people are involved in your relationship? Way too much drama. Step off that train by diffusing with a quick humorous response anytime someone asks you about her, or your relationship, or shitty shitty gossip. Be pleasant. Don't give the rumor mill any food, and it will start looking elsewhere.

In the meantime, if you are so inclined to say anything to her in the way of condolences or support for her mother, say so, then let it be.

By the way, the massive drama, the rumor mill, and the entire office getting involved in your relationship are the precise reasons why workcest should be verboten.

Oh I've definitely changed my response to those type of questions to something much more reasonable than what I'd say in the past, which was simply "it's none of your business" and as a result, people don't seem to ask anymore.

As far as that goes, one day a few weeks ago before I left work I gave her a hug and said "sorry about your mom" and went on my way. And yeah, that's one thing I've learned from all this, dating and work definitely should not mix.

 

[kaskade]

.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/129531/modern-family-truth-be-told?c=229:317

 

[whitehawk]

http://www.hulu.com/watch/129531/modern-family-truth-be-told?c=229:317

Basically I'm trying to figure out if this girl wants to get back with me. We are talking about an upcoming party on facebook. She says "are you going to hook up with anyone? ", and I say "We'll see ". Then she follows with "i know a few people who'd be down ", so I just play it safe and say "well we'll see what happens". Then she says "well i'll see you there".

I have a feeling she's still into me, just not sure. Damn indirectness.

 

[Daheza]

Basically I'm trying to figure out if this girl wants to get back with me. We are talking about an upcoming party on facebook. She says "are you going to hook up with anyone? ", and I say "We'll see ". Then she follows with "i know a few people who'd be down ", so I just play it safe and say "well we'll see what happens". Then she says "well i'll see you there".

I have a feeling she's still into me, just not sure. Damn indirectness.

Its those damn emoticons i tell you, they are so misleading.

 

[StoOgE]

Alright GAF.. I just tried a move, lets see if I crash and burn.

There is a really cute girl that I've liked for a bit that happens to live in another state. She is a friend of a friend and we've always gotten along really well when she comes to town.

Anyway, last time she was in town she told a mutual friend that she thinks I'm really cute and nice and wishes she lived here so we could hang out more.

We've been chatting on facebook a little bit. Well, mostly she has been commenting on everything I write on facebook. Anyway, I wrote a comment about a road trip I'm going on and she mentioned she is going on one and invited me to join up. I can't make it but told her I was excited for it.

It's been about a month and I just sent her a text telling her I can't get off work for a roadtrip (lie) but that I had some shorter stints of vacation to kill and told her I'm always on the lookout for couches to crash on.

This is a pretty ballsy move, especially for me.. doubly so because the mutual friend is one of my best friends and is pretty protective of both me and the girl. Fingers crossed. Don't know what will come out of it since she lives in another state, but I like her and figure if I don't make some sort of move there isn't any chance of anything ever happening.

 

[StoOgE]

Basically I'm trying to figure out if this girl wants to get back with me. We are talking about an upcoming party on facebook. She says "are you going to hook up with anyone? ", and I say "We'll see ". Then she follows with "i know a few people who'd be down ", so I just play it safe and say "well we'll see what happens". Then she says "well i'll see you there".

I have a feeling she's still into me, just not sure. Damn indirectness.

I have a working theory that people you don't see in real life that comment on your facebook page really often are into you at some level. There is a girl from high school who comments on my status all the fucking time. I check her page and she doesn't really comment on other peoples status very much.

I might just be crazy.. but I tend to not comment/write on peoples walls too often unless we are really good friends still.

 

[SpectreFire]

Basically I'm trying to figure out if this girl wants to get back with me. We are talking about an upcoming party on facebook. She says "are you going to hook up with anyone? ", and I say "We'll see ". Then she follows with "i know a few people who'd be down ", so I just play it safe and say "well we'll see what happens". Then she says "well i'll see you there".

I have a feeling she's still into me, just not sure. Damn indirectness.

You should've replied:

"A few huh? Well I guess I won't be seeing you much that night then "

 

[StoOgE]

Blah, I'm still having friendship issues with the girl I posted about before and it's really starting to stress me out. After she told me a couple of months ago that she didn't want a relationship despite the way she had felt about me, I was ready to just walk away since I figured that trying to maintain a friendship with her would be too awkward. To my surprise, however, she had kept in contact with me and we were able to just talk and be friends like it never happened (though we haven't hung out since December).

But lately, things have kind of gone to hell, as our co-workers have been talking about us and asking us about our relationship, some saying they heard that we were dating and others saying they heard that we dated and then broke up. Both allegations are false, but this whole mess could have been avoided if we hadn't snapped at people when they asked about us. At any rate, one night she saw me treat the co-worker who's been starting the rumors about us and lying to us, like crap when he needed help with something. Apparently this made her pretty uncomfortable and she "hated" what she saw and is "really tired of all this" and said even though she isn't dating me it's like it's still happening since people keep telling her things about me.

And so lately, she's been distancing herself from me, or so it feels like as she hasn't texted/called in weeks and doesn't seem to care to talk at work either. I'd try calling her but she's always busy and I just don't feel very welcome to try anymore. Right now though, she is having to deal with the fact that her mother will be passing away soon, so I'm sure that's got her pretty distracted and is something I can't relate to, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in her after all that we've been through. It seems like she's willing to just let our friendship die due to what others think and say about us and it's a damn shame.

Dude. Stop caring about her.

She is only talking to you still because she knows you will do whatever she wants and jump if she calls to hang out. Some girls like feeling like they have power over a guy even if they don't like them.

She is using you for a self esteem boost. Nothing more.

 

[Combine]

Hmm, still been thinking. After going to the bar last night, I feel that I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. I just don't seem to be "getting" the atmosphere of those kinds of settings and it also seems to turn me off to being social. When I'm in the bar, I feel uncomfortable and tense. I did drink a beer, but that doesn't seem to help. I don't want to drink more because being drunk just makes me tired and further depressed. I've never had a positive experience while drunk or drinking it seems.

But now it just hit me finally that I was at the GDC this week and I didn't make a single friend. I mean, really, if I failed to be social and couldn't meet anyone in that particular environment (where I should be in my "element"), then what the hell is left for someone like me?

 

[Danj]

But now it just hit me finally that I was at the GDC this week and I didn't make a single friend. I mean, really, if I failed to be social and couldn't meet anyone in that environment, then what the hell is left for someone like me?

I have a similar issue with anime conventions. I keep hoping that somehow I'll meet someone at one, but I never seem to get around to talking to anyone somehow. Probably the most social thing I've managed to do at one is participate in a conga line at one of the parties.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Blah, I'm still having friendship issues with the girl I posted about before and it's really starting to stress me out. After she told me a couple of months ago that she didn't want a relationship despite the way she had felt about me, I was ready to just walk away since I figured that trying to maintain a friendship with her would be too awkward. To my surprise, however, she had kept in contact with me and we were able to just talk and be friends like it never happened (though we haven't hung out since December).

But lately, things have kind of gone to hell, as our co-workers have been talking about us and asking us about our relationship, some saying they heard that we were dating and others saying they heard that we dated and then broke up. Both allegations are false, but this whole mess could have been avoided if we hadn't snapped at people when they asked about us. At any rate, one night she saw me treat the co-worker who's been starting the rumors about us and lying to us, like crap when he needed help with something. Apparently this made her pretty uncomfortable and she "hated" what she saw and is "really tired of all this" and said even though she isn't dating me it's like it's still happening since people keep telling her things about me.

And so lately, she's been distancing herself from me, or so it feels like as she hasn't texted/called in weeks and doesn't seem to care to talk at work either. I'd try calling her but she's always busy and I just don't feel very welcome to try anymore. Right now though, she is having to deal with the fact that her mother will be passing away soon, so I'm sure that's got her pretty distracted and is something I can't relate to, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in her after all that we've been through. It seems like she's willing to just let our friendship die due to what others think and say about us and it's a damn shame.

Question did you want to be with her and she said no? How'd the subject of y'all dating come up?

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Hmm, still been thinking. After going to the bar last night, I feel that I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. I just don't seem to be "getting" the atmosphere of those kinds of settings and it also seems to turn me off to being social. When I'm in the bar, I feel uncomfortable and tense. I did drink a beer, but that doesn't seem to help. I don't want to drink more because being drunk just makes me tired and further depressed. I've never had a positive experience while drunk or drinking it seems.

But now it just hit me finally that I was at the GDC this week and I didn't make a single friend. I mean, really, if I failed to be social and couldn't meet anyone in that particular environment (where I should be in my "element"), then what the hell is left for someone like me?

Like I said man, you're doing too much thinking and not about doing. Find some way to just get out of your head. If beer doesn't work try hard liquor (jack and coke, hennessey straight, a rum runner with bacardi 151), weed, heroin, crystal meth, anything man.

do less thinking and more doing.

 

[industrian]

Hmm, still been thinking. After going to the bar last night, I feel that I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. I just don't seem to be "getting" the atmosphere of those kinds of settings and it also seems to turn me off to being social. When I'm in the bar, I feel uncomfortable and tense. I did drink a beer, but that doesn't seem to help. I don't want to drink more because being drunk just makes me tired and further depressed. I've never had a positive experience while drunk or drinking it seems.

Quick question: do you talk to the barman/barmaid when drinking? Or do you just sit alone in a corner?

Since when does going to bars = getting women? I understand it's arguably the easiest place to get some due to the intrinsically social nature of drinking alcoholic beverages and the loosening of inhibitions that follows said consumption of beverages (lol) but if it's not your cup of tea then don't fucking go there. Sign yourself up for a spin class or some shit. Do something that involves an orientation of some sort. Surround yourself with people that know nothing about you and live outside of your own comfort zone.

I think I "get" you Combine through your posts here and in the Fitness thread. It seems that you're caught up on other people's expectations of yourself and even more by your own perception of how you "should" be in comparison to others. You overthink things too much and seem to be put off doing things because of your own fear of not meeting the aforementioned expectations. Either that or you're just lazy and use the overthinking as a subconsciously-implemented excuse for not doing shit. Please note at this point that I don't mean to offend you, as I am simply comparing you to myself circa 2007-2009. Coming to Korea really gave me the kick in the ass I needed in every facet of my life - especially women. By that I mean that I don't really fear rejection of any sort anymore. It no longer triggers my fear of failure.

 

[whitehawk]

Hmm, still been thinking. After going to the bar last night, I feel that I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. I just don't seem to be "getting" the atmosphere of those kinds of settings and it also seems to turn me off to being social. When I'm in the bar, I feel uncomfortable and tense. I did drink a beer, but that doesn't seem to help. I don't want to drink more because being drunk just makes me tired and further depressed. I've never had a positive experience while drunk or drinking it seems.

But now it just hit me finally that I was at the GDC this week and I didn't make a single friend. I mean, really, if I failed to be social and couldn't meet anyone in that particular environment (where I should be in my "element"), then what the hell is left for someone like me?

Dude the bar scene isn't for everyone. I haven't been to a bar (although I am 18), but I would prefer not too if I was able too.

As for GDC, well, I didn't realize it was put in place to make friends. I understand being friendly and stuff, but I wouldn't fret about it if you didn't meet someone new.

 

[border]

A REPLY THAT EVERYONE CAN RELATE TO (probably):

I think I'm through the worst of it now. I sent out a text message asking for a meetup and it's been subsequently ignored. I spent most of my time at work completely on edge, frantically checking my phone for a response, and I got nothing. As wonderful as it seemed at first, I'm finally letting myself see the flaws in her that I happily ignored before. I thought this minor heartbreak was going to take weeks to get over but now I'm measuring the time in days. I still regret not doing things differently than I have, but given her disposition and mine, I realize that this situation would have been inevitable anyway. In that sense it's almost positive since I've saved both time and money on something that was perhaps doomed, but still feel sad that I didn't get more out of it.

I'm not over it. If she told me "Let's get together" I might still jump at the chance, despite my best instincts. But if I don't get that message, then I guess I'm cool with it since I realize we were ultimately looking for different things. What power I have left is simply the power of not caring - something that seemed light years away even a day ago. I have the discipline not to be bothering her all the time with calls and texts - if my disinterest spurs her towards me then all the better, but if she's relieved to be rid of my attempts at communication then I guess that's how it goes.

I still think she was one in a million, but that still leaves a lot of other opportunities, to be honest. I can't say that everyone will get over it as quick as I have, but if you're hurting just remember to give it some time.

SOMETHING A GREAT DEAL LESS RELATABLE:

Watching media in my heightened emotional state has yielded results I never expected. I watched a fan-favorite episode of Doctor Who today, and all the scary parts really scared me (despite never being scared of the show before). The cornball cheesy parts really moved me, and the sad ending that seemed kinda lame before almost moved me to tears.

 

[Combine]

Like I said man, you're doing too much thinking and not about doing. Find some way to just get out of your head. If beer doesn't work try hard liquor (jack and coke, hennessey straight, a rum runner with bacardi 151), weed, heroin, crystal meth, anything man.

do less thinking and more doing.

I dunno, my luck with various substances had never been good. Be it professional medication or alcohol or even an attempt at weed, nothing's ever turned out good. Maybe that's just how it is for me. I suppose I just won't be able to count on those things for any kind of aid.

Quick question: do you talk to the barman/barmaid when drinking? Or do you just sit alone in a corner?

I usually go with my brother so I stand around him and whoever he talks to. I usually just listen in and maybe chime in once in a rare occasion, usually because the topic is never something that interests me at all. I've never talked to any random person though.

Since when does going to bars = getting women? I understand it's arguably the easiest place to get some due to the intrinsically social nature of drinking alcoholic beverages and the loosening of inhibitions that follows said consumption of beverages (lol) but if it's not your cup of tea then don't fucking go there. Sign yourself up for a spin class or some shit. Do something that involves an orientation of some sort. Surround yourself with people that know nothing about you and live outside of your own comfort zone.

I figured going to a bar was getting out of my comfort zone since I feel incredibly uncomfortable in them. Plus I go when my bro invites me since he's the only one who will. I just try and think that maybe one time I go something will happen somehow. Although, lately it's just been me being me.

I think I "get" you Combine through your posts here and in the Fitness thread. It seems that you're caught up on other people's expectations of yourself and even more by your own perception of how you "should" be in comparison to others. You overthink things too much and seem to be put off doing things because of your own fear of not meeting the aforementioned expectations. Either that or you're just lazy and use the overthinking as a subconsciously-implemented excuse for not doing shit. Please note at this point that I don't mean to offend you, as I am simply comparing you to myself circa 2007-2009. Coming to Korea really gave me the kick in the ass I needed in every facet of my life - especially women. By that I mean that I don't really fear rejection of any sort anymore. It no longer triggers my fear of failure.

I don't know what to say about my thought process. It's just the way it is, I really have no idea how to go about changing it since it seems to be ingrained into everything that I do. Unfortunately for me it's what I learned from the people I was around all the time (family) since I never knew or interacted with any other people. In the fitness thread I'm just sucking because my body is weak. And yeah, I'm constantly reminded of expectations of myself and what I should be like from hearing/reading/seeing how other people are. At my age, having accomplished so little, it is very easy to be reminded of that. The reason I compare myself to others so much is because that's what everyone does. Everything is a comparison in life. If you fall short of what someone can find in another, then that's what happens.

Dude the bar scene isn't for everyone. I haven't been to a bar (although I am 18), but I would prefer not too if I was able too.

As for GDC, well, I didn't realize it was put in place to make friends. I understand being friendly and stuff, but I wouldn't fret about it if you didn't meet someone new.

Well, it would have been nice to meet one new face at the show, but that didn't even happen. I did bump into some old "acquaintances" but those were quick "hi and bye" scenes with nothing really coming from them social wise.

 

[clav]

I don't know what to say about my thought process. It's just the way it is, I really have no idea how to go about changing it since it seems to be ingrained into everything that I do. Unfortunately for me it's what I learned from the people I was around all the time (family) since I never knew or interacted with any other people. In the fitness thread I'm just sucking because my body is weak. And yeah, I'm constantly reminded of expectations of myself and what I should be like from hearing/reading/seeing how other people are. At my age, having accomplished so little, it is very easy to be reminded of that. The reason I compare myself to others so much is because that's what everyone does. Everything is a comparison in life. If you fall short of what someone can find in another, then that's what happens.

Some people play the comparison game as a source of motivation. I have a friend who admires people better than him and works hard to attain that goal. He knows in the end even if he doesn't obtain the same level as his competitor, he knows at least he tried and made a difference.

However, it doesn't work for everyone. If it's getting you down, then don't play it.

My friends have always told me if you play the comparison game, you always lose. There is always someone out there better than you.

Just go at your own pace. Most people don't judge you. If the ones who do react negatively, then fuck them. You deserve better as people don't really know you. Be confident in yourself and trust yourself that you're doing a great job. Sure, results are not instant, but slowly and surely, you'll prevail.

And yes, as whitehawk mentioned, the bar scene isn't for everyone as some people have suggested. It works for some, not all. It doesn't work for me.

 

[industrian]

A REPLY THAT EVERYONE CAN RELATE TO (probably):

I think I'm through the worst of it now. I sent out a text message asking for a meetup and it's been subsequently ignored. I spent most of my time at work completely on edge, frantically checking my phone for a response, and I got nothing. As wonderful as it seemed at first, I'm finally letting myself see the flaws in her that I happily ignored before. I thought this minor heartbreak was going to take weeks to get over but now I'm measuring the time in days. I still regret not doing things differently than I have, but given her disposition and mine, I realize that this situation would have been inevitable anyway. In that sense it's almost positive since I've saved both time and money on something that was perhaps doomed, but still feel sad that I didn't get more out of it.

I'm not over it. If she told me "Let's get together" I might still jump at the chance, despite my best instincts. But if I don't get that message, then I guess I'm cool with it since I realize we were ultimately looking for different things. What power I have left is simply the power of not caring - something that seemed light years away even a day ago. I have the discipline not to be bothering her all the time with calls and texts - if my disinterest spurs her towards me then all the better, but if she's relieved to be rid of my attempts at communication then I guess that's how it goes.

I still think she was one in a million, but that still leaves a lot of other opportunities, to be honest. I can't say that everyone will get over it as quick as I have, but if you're hurting just remember to give it some time.

Fucking hell you got me.

I'm waiting for a girl to email me back. Well, not a "girl", I'll call her a woman because she doesn't have all the stupid fucking hangups of a "girl." She was emotionally stable, intelligent, had an independent spirit, beautiful, good taste in music, was great to be around and was girly enough to tick everyone of my boxes on my "If you get this woman for the love of God don't let her fucking go for anything" list. And I... let her go.

I've known her for a while and we had a few dates before she went back to her home country, and she even visited me in hospital - but something was holding me back from telling her my feelings about her. I got all choked up and shit when I was about to tell her before she left. I'm not afraid of rejection here - because the things she said to me made it clear I was beyond a friend. I think I was afraid to kill her independent spirit, or to make her feel like I was using my illness as a way to get her. Or something to that effect. Hell I don't know what the fuck was going on. I'm not used to explaining my feelings, she's the first person I've allowed to get under my armour - and that wasn't willingly. So I sent her an email a few days ago and I'm waiting on a reply like it's exam results. I know she's read it, so now it's the waiting game.

Either way: If she feels the same way about me - awesometastic. I've finally got a girl I can respect - even if she's going to be living on the other side of the planet from me for at least another year. If she lets me down easy - I'll recover. And I won't have to repress myself when I go to Japan. Her email will hurt me either way because both outcomes involve me being alone for the foreseeable future. I'll live though.

Spoiler

In the event you're curious, the contents of my email weren't "oh I love you so much lets get married lol." It was simply an expression of care, regret, and a hope that I didn't say my last goodbye.

And why do I suddenly feel all stupid for posting this on GAF all of a sudden?

 

[industrian]

I usually go with my brother so I stand around him and whoever he talks to. I usually just listen in and maybe chime in once in a rare occasion, usually because the topic is never something that interests me at all. I've never talked to any random person though.

Go alone. Sit at the bar. Talk to the person who's serving and the other people sitting beside you. Subject doesn't matter, just start talking about "the game/weather/news/etc" and roll from there. Get used to just "talking pish" as we Scots call it (irrelevant discussion - themoreyouknow.jpg). Don't be nervous, and for the love of god keep the discussion based on the subject they're on and don't move it on to things you're comfortable talking about - because they may have zero interest in that.

In the fitness thread I'm just sucking because my body is weak. And yeah, I'm constantly reminded of expectations of myself and what I should be like from hearing/reading/seeing how other people are. At my age, having accomplished so little, it is very easy to be reminded of that. The reason I compare myself to others so much is because that's what everyone does. Everything is a comparison in life. If you fall short of what someone can find in another, then that's what happens.

Don't focus on what anyone else is doing. For the sole reason that they may be doing it wrong. Hell, for a guy my size I'm relatively weak - and I can't work out for months so I'm just going to get weaker. When I hit the gym in September (or whenever I'm given the all-clear) then there's probably going to be a lot of people - older, younger, smaller, lighter, etc who are stronger than me. But letting that get to me will just set me back. I'm already considered a freak where I am right now, but I don't let that bother me either. :lol

And another thing to mention, most dudes you see in the gym that are all pumped up and shit probably have all the same problems you do. Probably even worse. The most prominent sign of low self-esteem is vanity.

My friends have always told me if you play the comparison game, you always lose. There is always someone out there better than you.

.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Some people play the comparison game as a source of motivation. I have a friend who admires people better than him and works hard to attain that goal. He knows in the end even if he doesn't obtain the same level as his competitor, he knows at least he tried and made a difference.

However, it doesn't work for everyone. If it's getting you down, then don't play it.

My friends have always told me if you play the comparison game, you always lose. There is always someone out there better than you.

Just go at your own pace. Most people don't judge you. If the ones who do react negatively, then fuck them. You deserve better as people don't really know you. Be confident in yourself and trust yourself that you're doing a great job. Sure, results are not instant, but slowly and surely, you'll prevail.

And yes, as whitehawk mentioned, the bar scene isn't for everyone as some people have suggested. It works for some, not all. It doesn't work for me.

who is this fictitious character you speak of?

 

[PEZIX]

Damn.. wha happened to all the pickin up da honey stories go? Fuck I thought I started a fire and now shits got all emo.

Just throwin in an update on me and my new smush..

I luv the progression of events...

Concert
Movies
Smash
Drunk/High < surprised that didnt come first :lol
Smash <ahhh yea
Lovin every moment....

Question? Is it bad to get girls numbers when you aint even tryin if you wit a girl?.. Na thats jus keepin it real

 

[chicko1983]

Question? Is it bad to get girls numbers when you aint even tryin if you wit a girl?.. Na thats jus keepin it real

I'd say yes it is wrong. Plus Ive seen the pic of your girl and if you want to get another girl's number while you are with a girl who looks like that, man I am jealous and angry.

 

[PEZIX]

I'd say yes it is wrong. Plus Ive seen the pic of your girl and if you want to get another girl's number while you are with a girl who looks like that, man I am jealous and angry.

Its not my FAULT!! Two girls hust threw me their shit... But oh hell na Im fuckin loyal as shit I dont play around wit them retarded High school cheating games.. and plus you've seen my girl.. pfft Imma holdin on to dis one for awhile, I mean you kno its a keeper when she sends you texts like : I wish you whu heh rioght nah [British accent lol] wit a lil sexy pix along wit it.. shiittt girl can get it :lol

 

[chicko1983]

Its not my FAULT!! Two girls hust threw me their shit... But oh hell na Im fuckin loyal as shit I dont play around wit them retarded High school cheating games.. and plus you've seen my girl.. pfft Imma holdin on to dis one for awhile, I mean you kno its a keeper when she sends you texts like : I wish you whu heh rioght nah [British accent lol] wit a lil sexy pix along wit it.. shiittt girl can get it :lol

yeah I said I was jealous and I mean it!

I mean youre getting girls like that throwing themselves at you, I can only be jealous.

But the reason why I am angry is as follows:

I have picked up my game in the last couple of months. Been on a couple of dates with two different girls and generally feeling like I am getting more attention than usual, all because I am starting to act a bit and be more confident.

Then today, the admin girl at work who has been hanging around at my desk a fair bit in the last couple of weeks (she makes out she is going to the kitchen which is near my desk) asks me if I am single. I say yes and she said she is as well. She then goes on to complain about how there are no men out there and she is always setting her friends up but they never set her up with anyone. There you go, a girl is throwing herself at me. All I had to do is ask for her number and she would have said yes. The thing is, she is a nice girl but I am not attracted to her at all. She is about a foot taller and heavier than me (and Im pretty solid) but I wont say she is ugly cause she told me she was a plus size model (I would believe her cause she does have a nice face). I am just not attracted to her.

Why the hell is it always that the girls I dont like are the ones most attracted to me!!!

Hence I mainly object you to getting other girls' numbers while you are with someone cause I need all the half decent available women out there to have any chance of getting a girl I am attracted to. You've caught a fish, let another man catch something good!

There is another girl at work who I really like but the only time she spoke to me (last week) my heart skipped a beat. I literally could not string a sentence together and she was smiling and I know she laughing at me cause I was so nervous. Why cant this girl be attracted to me naturally?!?! I hate the fact that I have to act like I am some macho pompous dude, when I am pretty much the opposite, just to impress the girls I like.

 

[Xun]

Hmm, still been thinking. After going to the bar last night, I feel that I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. I just don't seem to be "getting" the atmosphere of those kinds of settings and it also seems to turn me off to being social. When I'm in the bar, I feel uncomfortable and tense. I did drink a beer, but that doesn't seem to help. I don't want to drink more because being drunk just makes me tired and further depressed. I've never had a positive experience while drunk or drinking it seems.

But now it just hit me finally that I was at the GDC this week and I didn't make a single friend. I mean, really, if I failed to be social and couldn't meet anyone in that particular environment (where I should be in my "element"), then what the hell is left for someone like me?

Alcohol enhances the mood you're in.

If you're depressed when you go to the place then you'll be even more depressed if you drink.

Alcohol will only help once you've conquered your "depression".

 

[Mr. Perfect]

Hey guys what do I do about the fact that I look younger than I am? I'm 27, I look 22 or so.

Guess it will a blessing when I'm older.

Same problem here. I'll be 21 in a few months, but look a lot younger.

When sitting in the exit rows on airplanes, flight attendants still ask me if I'm at least 15 years old. :lol

Definitely doesn't help my chances with the ladies (right now)

 

[PEZIX]

Why cant this girl be attracted to me naturally?!?! I hate the fact that I have to act like I am some macho pompous dude, when I am pretty much the opposite, just to impress the girls I like.

Well how do you know shes not? Not all girls throw their flags up, maybe you should ask her bro?

Second its not about bein a macho pompous dude, its about bein yourself with balls yo(confidence).. I mean fuck I wear my battlestar galactica shirt (Dope as fuck) and girls be laughin askin if indeed it is BSG and I be like "Damn straight!, I love that shit,.. wanna come watch it wit me?" lol, I mean Im a huge nerd I straight up got half naked anime figurines up in my pad, but I don't down play it like Im ashamed yo, if a bitch aint squeezin who you is then kick the ho too da curb cuz it aint you... Its not about bein confident for girls, its about bein confident for yourself,.. girls see that and start lickin lips to slob ur knob :lol :lol and dont tell me its not workin cuz you been goin out on dates,.. soon bro "Yo pussy intake will blow thru the roof" <Fuck I hate youtube>

 

[StoOgE]

Alright GAF.. I just tried a move, lets see if I crash and burn.

There is a really cute girl that I've liked for a bit that happens to live in another state. She is a friend of a friend and we've always gotten along really well when she comes to town.

Anyway, last time she was in town she told a mutual friend that she thinks I'm really cute and nice and wishes she lived here so we could hang out more.

We've been chatting on facebook a little bit. Well, mostly she has been commenting on everything I write on facebook. Anyway, I wrote a comment about a road trip I'm going on and she mentioned she is going on one and invited me to join up. I can't make it but told her I was excited for it.

It's been about a month and I just sent her a text telling her I can't get off work for a roadtrip (lie) but that I had some shorter stints of vacation to kill and told her I'm always on the lookout for couches to crash on.

This is a pretty ballsy move, especially for me.. doubly so because the mutual friend is one of my best friends and is pretty protective of both me and the girl. Fingers crossed. Don't know what will come out of it since she lives in another state, but I like her and figure if I don't make some sort of move there isn't any chance of anything ever happening.

Success! I've been invited to her place once her current roomate moves out in the middle of April for "as long as I want to stay". I also got invited to tag along to a trip to Cabo that she is going on during summer.

Normally every time I try and do something "smooth" with the ladies it bites me proper in the ass. Pretty happy this seemed to go well.

 

[TomServo]

who is this fictitious character you speak of?

Yeah, I want to meet this guy.

 

[norinrad]

The lady i was talking about almost 3 weeks ago, still hasn't responded to my FB invitation. I send her an e-mail last Friday asking her if she would like to have lunch sometime, again nothing. She either probably doesn't read her e-mails or am not worth her time. Either way i did give it a go and have no regrets, life goes on.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Damn.. wha happened to all the pickin up da honey stories go? Fuck I thought I started a fire and now shits got all emo.

Just throwin in an update on me and my new smush..

I luv the progression of events...

Concert
Movies
Smash
Drunk/High < surprised that didnt come first :lol
Smash <ahhh yea
Lovin every moment....

Question? Is it bad to get girls numbers when you aint even tryin if you wit a girl?.. Na thats jus keepin it real

Naw it ain't bad, keep your game tight mayne.

EDIT Oh, you gotta girl? Naw don't do that son. Unless y'all gotta an understanding that y'all can do shit like that, you know shorty would be heated if she found out. And post pics of your girl son, i gotta see this broad.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Well how do you know shes not? Not all girls throw their flags up, maybe you should ask her bro?

Second its not about bein a macho pompous dude, its about bein yourself with balls yo(confidence).. I mean fuck I wear my battlestar galactica shirt (Dope as fuck) and girls be laughin askin if indeed it is BSG and I be like "Damn straight!, I love that shit,.. wanna come watch it wit me?" lol, I mean Im a huge nerd I straight up got half naked anime figurines up in my pad, but I don't down play it like Im ashamed yo, if a bitch aint squeezin who you is then kick the ho too da curb cuz it aint you... Its not about bein confident for girls, its about bein confident for yourself,.. girls see that and start lickin lips to slob ur knob :lol :lol and dont tell me its not workin cuz you been goin out on dates,.. soon bro "Yo pussy intake will blow thru the roof" <Fuck I hate youtube>

:lol yo that was the funniest video i seen in mad long son. and the funny thing is even tho he was playin around and shit, some of things he said is actually 100% true.

 

[Biff]

She either probably doesn't read her e-mails or am not worth her time.

There could be a thousand reasons why she isn't responding. If you were worth her time 3 weeks ago, you're still worth her time now.
With that said however, don't contact her again. She has to make the next move.

Either way i did give it a go and have no regrets, life goes on.

Good attitude. I'm sure you've learned something positive that will prove useful for the next woman you'll pursue.

 

[y2dvd]

Combine, it doesn't even sound like you enjoy going to the bar with your current company. Maybe you could start on improving on that before venturing off conversating with strangers. People will notice if a particular group is enjoying each others company. It definitely makes them more acceptable if they wanted to strike a conversation vs someone who appears bland in a group (not saying that you are bland, I'm just going off of your post).

As far as comparing yourself to others, I don't blame ya. I think everyone does it. It's what you do to combat the negatives. I'm interested in my coworker, but I'll admit she's currently out of my league; funny how we want to see the movie by the same name together too. :'( Anyways, she has a much better pad, a better job, and leads a totally active lifestyle while I'm the total opposite. Her ex is also more successful than I am. I doubt she'd ever want to hook up but I'd love to hook up with a chick similar to her status, so I'm using it as motivation to better myself. She invited me to her rooftop swimming pool this weekend and was looking damn nice in a bikini, but here I am with her looking a little out of shape. Yeah, I was embarassed but now I want to really get in shape, so I ran the next day. I'm also concetrating harder at work (even though I'm posting from work atm lol) to work on getting a promotion.

So basically I'm comparing myself to the girl I want and the ex she had, and I'm using it as motivation to obtain their status or succeed it.

 

[ShOcKwAvE]

I spent the weekend in a Vermont cabin with 3 guys and 2 girls. One girl is dating one of the guys, leaving one single girl. Even though she's very attractive, I had several reasons I didn't want to go for anything there...just not my type. My problem is that, at times, this girl acted incredibly bitchy to me. I consider myself an extremely nice guy and definitely above-average looking, but she just wanted nothing to do with me. At one point we were alone in a ski lodge waiting for others to come back, but instead of making an effort to converse, she complains about being tired and puts her head down on the table, facing away from me.

I'm not looking for advice...just venting. I can't expect every pretty girl to be eager to talk to me, but it'd be nice if some of them didn't act like you're not a person. The only possibility I thought of was that I turned the other girl down last year before she started dating her current bf...so maybe her friend hates me because of that. Otherwise, I can't imagine what about me she found so unappealing.

 

[Seraphis Cain]

So GAF...getting with a girl who already has a 5 year old kid...not a good idea, is it? :lol


Keep in mind that I myself have never planned on having kids, and often say that I'm the last person who should ever be responsible for another human life. :lol Definitely NOT stepfather material over here.

 

[JORMBO]

So GAF...getting with a girl who already has a 5 year old kid...not a good idea, is it? :lol


Keep in mind that I myself have never planned on having kids, and often say that I'm the last person who should ever be responsible for another human life. :lol Definitely NOT stepfather material over here.

tons of girls out there without kids

 

[Entropia]

So GAF...getting with a girl who already has a 5 year old kid...not a good idea, is it? :lol


Keep in mind that I myself have never planned on having kids, and often say that I'm the last person who should ever be responsible for another human life. :lol Definitely NOT stepfather material over here.

Why don't you meet her first. Sure the idea of it may be daunting but why not go out with her and see how things go, you may realize it's a non-issue to you.

 

[border]

Fucking hell you got me.

I'm waiting for a girl to email me back. Well, not a "girl", I'll call her a woman because she doesn't have all the stupid fucking hangups of a "girl."

I think I've resolved to give up on all non-instant forms of communication with girls that I really like. It's simply too nerve-wracking to send an e-mail or text message and sit around waiting for a response and wondering what that silent delay means. Oftentimes we simply read too much into stuff like that and it drives us nuts. At the same time I'm sure plenty of girls use it as a way to drive you nuts and let you twist in the wind for a bit.

 

[clav]

who is this fictitious character you speak of?

A friend from high school and a group of friends from college have told me this.

If you ever meet me, I can show these guys to you if you're so doubtful.

I'm surprised you've never heard of the saying: "There is always someone better than you."

If you can be humble through life, then you will meet a lot of people and make friends that way.

 

[Jay Sosa]

I don't know what to say about my thought process. It's just the way it is, I really have no idea how to go about changing it since it seems to be ingrained into everything that I do. Unfortunately for me it's what I learned from the people I was around all the time (family) since I never knew or interacted with any other people. In the fitness thread I'm just sucking because my body is weak. And yeah, I'm constantly reminded of expectations of myself and what I should be like from hearing/reading/seeing how other people are.

I'm working out since I dunno 10 years or so and I'll never ever be able to come close to some of the numbers some people post there, don't let that shit hold you back. Just doing something for your body is good for you, no need to become Conan.

And you seem to have the same problem I have, you just overthink things, that never helps.

Regarding alcohol/depression: that's pretty normal as well, like somebody already said, it just enhances the mood your in.

Isn't there something that you really love, some sport maybe (you don't seem to enjoy weightlifting very much at all) or going to indie film festivals?

Some people just aren't made to go out to clubs and hit on women and be in the middle of the conversation.

 

[whitehawk]

Its not my FAULT!! Two girls hust threw me their shit... But oh hell na Im fuckin loyal as shit I dont play around wit them retarded High school cheating games.. and plus you've seen my girl.. pfft Imma holdin on to dis one for awhile, I mean you kno its a keeper when she sends you texts like : I wish you whu heh rioght nah [British accent lol] wit a lil sexy pix along wit it.. shiittt girl can get it :lol

The way you talk :lol

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

A friend from high school and a group of friends from college have told me this.

If you ever meet me, I can show these guys to you if you're so doubtful.

I'm surprised you've never heard of the saying: "There is always someone better than you."

If you can be humble through life, then you will meet a lot of people and make friends that way.

smh @ this entire post

 

[clav]

smh @ this entire post

:lol Everyone lives his/her life differently. There is a standard that you need to be happy to be yourself and each person has his/her own way of developing that.

I'm just posting what works for me as what you and other people are doing, too.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

:lol Everyone lives his/her life differently. There is a standard that you need to be happy to be yourself and each person has his/her own way of developing that.

I'm just posting what works for me as what you and other people are doing, too.

:lol I don't even know what to say man. right over you head. Sarcasm + internet = phayle

 

[Eggo]

I think I've resolved to give up on all non-instant forms of communication with girls that I really like. It's simply too nerve-wracking to send an e-mail or text message and sit around waiting for a response and wondering what that silent delay means. Oftentimes we simply read too much into stuff like that and it drives us nuts. At the same time I'm sure plenty of girls use it as a way to drive you nuts and let you twist in the wind for a bit.

Why are you so attached to this one outcome? You're putting unnecessary pressure on it and need to have more than one option so you're not so bent out of shape because one girl is not answering an e-mail. You're bound to fuck it up the way you're acting now.

People get busy, things happen. You don't know what's going on in another person's life. Becoming an emotional basket case over something so trivial is not healthy, nor is it going to help the situation any.

 

[border]

People get busy, things happen. You don't know what's going on in another person's life. Becoming an emotional basket case over something so trivial is not healthy, nor is it going to help the situation any.

I don't think I've ever e-mailed a girl I liked. I was speaking more about text messages than e-mails though.....I just grouped them together because they're a similar form of communication. There's a reason someone might not be able to get to a computer to check their e-mail, but to have a text flat-out ignored is I think pretty telling unless something really out of the ordinary happened (lost phone, service cut-off). Most women have their phone on them all the time and are constantly fiddling with that stuff.

I recognize that sometimes messages go unanswered for irrelevant reasons or random circumstances. At the same time, if you're anxious about someone you really like I don't think it can be helped. I don't feel like I have a lot of options -- I don't like a lot of people, but the ones I do like I tend to feel very passionately about.

 

[Stridone]

I don't think I've ever e-mailed a girl I liked. I was speaking more about text messages than e-mails though.....I just grouped them together because they're a similar form of communication. There's a reason someone might not be able to get to a computer to check their e-mail, but to have a text flat-out ignored is I think pretty telling unless something really out of the ordinary happened (lost phone, service cut-off). Most women have their phone on them all the time and are constantly fiddling with that stuff.

I recognize that sometimes messages go unanswered for irrelevant reasons or random circumstances. At the same time, if you're anxious about someone you really like I don't think it can be helped. I don't feel like I have a lot of options -- I don't like a lot of people, but the ones I do like I tend to feel very passionately about.

You're being needy. Girls can see that from miles away and they hate it.